Ask Simon
by CosmicKitten89
Summary: Simon is here to answer your questions.  Post questions in the review section about Simon, science, math, stuff he does in the cartoon, his brothers, his relationship with Jeanette...
1. Chapter 1

**Ask Simon**

**Hello everyone! Simon Seville has volunteered for a Q & A show and is currently accepting your questions. You can ask him questions about anything – math, science, stuff he does in the cartoon (this is cartoon Simon, not small and furry CGI Simon!), himself, his brothers, his relationship with Jeanette (but try to keep it K-rated, ok?)**

**(Disclaimer: I do not own Simon, his brothers, or Jeanette).**


	2. First Airing

**Disclaimer: I do not own Alvin and the Chipmunks.**

**Simon:** Good morning everybody! Thank you for watching this first airing of my new Q & A show. You can ask me a question about anything, as long as it's appropriate and within my ability to answer. I've got this equation on the board here that I am working on; you are free to ask me a question about that as well. This show shall air at 8:00 AM in Pacific Time every Saturday morning. I specifically selected that particular time slot to prevent Alvin from crashing the show, because Alvin would never get up that early on a Saturday. _(snickers)_

**Alvin:** Good morning beautiful people!

**Simon:** Alvin! You're supposed to be in bed! Since when are you this bright and chipper at 8 in the morning?

**Alvin:** And miss a public appearance to answer questions of my adoring fans? Not for the world!

**Simon:** This is a show were_ I_ receive questions from_ my_ adoring fans.

**Alvin:** _(laughs)_ What adoring fans?

**Simon:** Remember what a fiasco your last Q & A show was?

**Alvin:** Ummm…. Not really.

**Simon:**_ (sighs) _OK. Without further ado, I am logging on to my computer right now to answer some of the emails my fans have sent.

**Munk19 asks:**

**Hey Simon! I notice you and Alvin don't always agree with things or get along. However, most of the time you do. How do you truly feel about Alvin being your brother?**

**Simon: **Ummm…

**Alvin:** He absolutely adores having me as a brother!

**Simon:** I am the one answering the questions! Well, Alvin is not very compatible as a brother for someone like me. He has held me back in terms of my development as a scientist and inventor, and he has gotten me into trouble for countless things I would never otherwise have thought of doing.

**Alvin:** Don't blame me! I didn't twist your arm and make you do those things!

**Simon:** Yes, as a matter of fact, he got down on his knees and begged me most of the time.

_(audience laughs)_

**Alvin:** Hey!

**Simon:** And I consent only because he would agree to pay me or do my chores for a month or something like that. Of course, there are those things that he wants to do that are so wrong that no amount of bribing will get me to help him. But I refuse to squeal on my brother – he is, after all, my brother. Besides, if I try to interfere with his schemes, he will never learn. He has to learn the hard way, and the only way that can happen is when his scheme falls flat on its face.

_(audience roars with laughter)_

**Alvin:** Well, I don't think it's very funny!

**Simon:** On to the next question!

**madeline2011 asks:**

**hi Simon how was it like see your mother again? **

**and how is your relationship with Jeanette going?and are your the oldse of your Brother? and did you felt going "Back to Dave's Future and did;t Alvin really hit his head when you 3 fell off the merry-go-round? I want to know?**

**from Madeline2011 and ps tell Alvin I m his big fan and would like to met him one day ok?**

**Alvin:** _Yes!_

**Simon:** Words cannot describe how wonderful it was to see my mother again. She was a little old-fashioned, to be sure, and she wasn't an Ivy League scholar like I hoped she would be, but I loved her just the same. _(wipes tear from eye)_ As for my relationship with Jeanette, well, we are doing very well, to tell you the truth. We are extremely compatible in terms of personality and interest, and Jeanette is, well, crazy over me. We already know that we are going to get married in the future, for richer or for poorer, from looking into my time machine. But right now, we are taking things _reeeal _slow. Alvin and Brittany, on the other hand…

**Alvin:** Alright! On to the next question! _(laughs sheepishly)_

**Simon:** Good idea. Better to keep this program G-rated, after all. As for the going back to Dave's future, well, I don't really remember much about what happened as a result of that. Time-travel paradoxes can have a funny effect on your memory. For instance, I remember a time when Dave was allergic to dogs, and I also recall a time afterwards when Dave said he was never allergic to dogs. Also, his parents are farmers, but when I went back in time, they were accountants. The use of my time machine, not to mention Alvin's fooling around with my experimental inventions, has created ripple effects such as these, and I am currently trying to figure out how they work. If I manage to do that, I could be able to figure out what other memories I lost that happened but were changed to never happen. So far, the effects of distortions on the time-space continuum seem to be unpredictable and chaotic. If you take a look at the temporal dynamics equation I am currently investing my time in-

Alvin: Nobody wants to hear about your boring tempo-dynamodiddly math equation!

Simon: There is nothing boring about temporal dynamics!

Alvin: Believe me, it's quite boring when you don't understand 100th grade level math!

Simon: Well, anyway, yes, Alvin really did bump his head from falling off the merry-go-round. If he would remove his cap to show us the enormous goose egg he still has… Alvin?

Alvin: No way! (pulls cap tightly over head)

Simon: Very well. By the way, Madeline2011, I wouldn't get your hopes up on meeting Alvin one day. He doesn't even answer all his fan mail.

Alvin: That's because there's so much of it!

Simon: Two or three letters on average per week. He tired out of reading them a long time ago. He places them straight into the shredder. Anyway, on to the next fan's question!

**The Chipette Protector asks:**

**Hey Simon!**

**What would u do if u meet a chipmunk who claimed to be ur Dark Counterpart from an Alternate World?**

**Simon: **I am still doing research on alternate worlds. How I would respond to my counterpart from a parallel universe, assuming he was dark as you believe he would be, would depend on whether he was my doppelganger or my polar opposite in terms of intellect and personality, and, more importantly, on whether or not he was made of antimatter or not. If he were made of antimatter, I could simply throw rocks at him and the protons and electrons in the rocks would annihilate along with some of the positrons and antiprotons in his body and destroy him. The gamma ray burst that would result would be catastrophic, however. Next question is…

**Rosa Laevigata asks:**

**How is it dealing with Alvin's schemes when it looks like it's impossible to find the solution?**

**Simon: **Despite my, ahem, gifts, dealing with a problem child like Alvin is not easy. As I mentioned earlier, I usually allow him to suffer from the consequences of his actions, even if it means that I suffer as well. I do advise him, but it too often falls upon deaf ears. Alvin doesn't listen to reason, but he has a big heart that prevents him from doing anything too crazy. Well, it looks like we're out of questions for this week!

**Alvin:** That's because you don't have very many fans!

**Simon:** But we have plenty of time to accept questions from the audience!

_(audience members raise hands)_

**Simon:** _(points to young woman in front row_) How about you! Your name?

**Audience Member:** _(swoons with excitement_) My name is Sherry, and I have been dying to ask you this: Remember when you were on the game show "Genius in the House"? Just before the Brain Busters round, you were carried off to the Isolation Booth by a person dressed in an "I" costume and a person dressed in a "Q" costume, and the "Q" costume didn't make sense, it was like the person wearing it had a big hole in the center of his or her body! Would you mind telling me how that is possible? Speaking of which, what is your IQ?

**Simon:** _(blushes)_ Well, I have been asking myself that question for quite some time now. So far, I've come up with two theories. One is that they were robots rather than people dressed in costumes. The other theory is that an illusory trick like the kind commonly used in performances of prestidigitation was used to make a hole appear to be where the human's torso should me. I lean more towards the first theory, for the costumes both lacked eyeholes, so neither of them made sense as a human being. As for your other question, well…

**Alvin:** His IQ is 300!

**Simon:** It most certainly is not!

**Alvin:** He's right. It's much higher!

**Simon:** Um, well, according to a reliable computer source, my IQ is "just north of Einstein", and Einstein's IQ was rumored to be about 160. As for mine, well…

**Alvin:** He just doesn't want to tell you because he doesn't want to sound like a braggy showoffy smartypants!

**Simon:** If you want to put it that way… Well, anyway, that concludes this week's show!

**Alvin:** And what a boring show it was…

**Hope you enjoyed this first installment of "Ask Simon"! Please tell me how you liked it, and submit lots more questions in the reviews for next week!**


	3. Alvin Takes Over

_**(Disclaimer: I do not own Alvin and the Chipmunks, or any of the songs that Alvin sings here, for that matter, or the movies that they spoof).**_

_(Simon walks into the studio at midnight; the set of his show has been redecorated flashily, with electric guitars, disco lights, and a big neon sign that reads "Simon's Midnight Party House " and a tiny note in the corner that reads "with Q & A")_

**Simon:** What is the meaning of this?

**Alvin:** Oh, hi, Simon. What are you doing up this late at night?

**Simon:** I had a feeling you would be up to something at this hour…

**Alvin:** Well, I was discussing the show with the director, and I showed him some statistics for the ratings and, well, he wasn't too pleased_. (shows Simon the papers showing the ratings)_

**Simon:** Alvin, you made these ratings up! My show got far better ratings than this!

**Alvin:** Well, I was thinking that the ratings would be even better if we added music and fun to the show, upped the rating to TV-14, and put it on at midnight! That way we get viewers other than your boring fans!

**Simon:** But Alvin, does it have to be aired at midnight? That doesn't even make any sense! Nobody is awake at midnight!

**Alvin:** Ahh, but midnight here on the West Coast is primetime over on the East Coast where all the viewers are!

**Simon:** Alvin, midnight here is three in the morning on the East Coast!

**Alvin:** Oh. But my fans are so devoted they would stay up all week if they had to to catch my show! Unlike your fans, who wouldn't even stay awake to watch that embarrassing documentary of us that you made that was aired really late…

**Simon:** My show is supposed to be educational and informative! You're_ ruining_ it!

**Alvin:** I think you're right. I should have made it "_Alvin's_ Midnight Party House"! But I couldn't, because you're the one who's under contract instead of me, but I think I'll make it clear to the viewers who the star of this show is!

**Simon:** You do realize there isn't a studio audience?

**Alvin:** That's OK. I'm sure we have plenty of viewers at home! OK, now what's your password?

**Simon:** You're not having my password. Allow me to log on. _(types in password to computer)_

**Alvin:** Wow, you got a lot of questions today! Here's the first one:

**G. Shadow asks: **

**Yo, Simon!**

**Despite having Alvin drag you along with his schemes, do you still love and care for your brother?**

**Alvin:** I shall answer this one! Yes, he absolutely adores me! But hey, who doesn't?

**Simon:** Ahem!

**Alvin:** Heh heh, you don't have to take my word for it! _(passes mike to Simon)_

**Simon:** Well, even though Alvin is an irresponsible delinquent and the source of many a migraine, yes, I do have a sort of brotherly affection for him.

**Alvin:** _(takes mike back_) Thank you! Next question!

**The Chipette Protector asks:**

**...too bad not that many people replied...**

**Alright, Now I have 3 questions:**

**1. Have u seen the two new Alvin and the Chipmunks Movies, whats ur opinion if u did see them, and what do u think would happen if u meet them?**

**2. What would u do if Jeanette started dating Alvin, and Brittany (because she was jelous) kissed u?**

**3. What would u do if Alvin and Brittany suddenly turned Evil?**

**Alvin:** Brittany kiss _Simon?_ Over my dead body!

**Simon:** _(grabs mike away from Alvin_) Well, yes, I have seen the movies they made for us. Personally, I find it quite… _weird_… that, instead of casting us in the role, they perpetuated the stereotype that all chipmunks are small woodland animals by casting that particular variety of chipmunk instead of the larger, more anthropomorphic variety. Now, as for our portrayal, I have found that the actors and writers have Alvin and Theodore nailed, but as for me… well, the rodent who played me wasn't quite… smart enough… and also more childish, violent and temperamental. As for the second question… Jeanette dating Alvin? That would never happen! Seriously, some of the fanfiction you folks write about us is _quite _twisted! And if Alvin and Brittany turned evil… well, that pair is so narcissistic already I probably wouldn't notice if they did!

**Alvin:** Gimme that! _(takes mike away from Simon) _Next question:

**Jeanette 333 asks:**

**hi simon! how much fan mail do you get? do you get more than alvin and theodore? and do you wish that in the new movies they should have just casted you guys instead cgi chipmunks?**

**Alvin:** Well, he doesn't get nearly as much fan mail as… ahem… I do! As for Theodore, well, poor Theodore gets even less than Simon does!

**Simon:** _(yanks mike away)_ Secretly, I receive more fan mail than Alvin and Theo put together! But I don't let Alvin know, because otherwise he'd throw a hissy fit and I'd never hear the end of it!

**Alvin:** _(takes mike) _More fan mail than me! In your dreams!

**Munk 19 asks:**

**I loved it! Really funny!**

**My Questions:**

**1) If Alvin ever decided to join the army, would you let him go? If he does go, would you miss him?**

**2) If Alvin ever told you an embarrasing secret, would you ever tell anyone? Even though Alvin told you not to.**

**Alvin:** Army? After Camp Eagleton? No way!

**Simon:** _(takes mike away) _Well, I would be all too eager to ship Alvin off to the army! That's just what he needs is some discipline! And no, I probably wouldn't miss him. I'm sorry to say this, but I'd be too busy reveling in the scientific breakthroughs I will make without Alvin around to fiddle with my life's work. Direct your eyes to my_-(gasps)_ My formulae! What have you done to my chalkboard equations on temporal dynamics?

**Alvin:** Oh, I just made some cool colored chalk graffiti art. Thought I would impress the fans.

**Simon:**_ (seethes with rage) _Do you have any idea how long I had been working on that?

**Alvin:** You've got a photographic memory. I'm sure you could easily write it all down from memory.

**Simon:** _(breathes deeply_) As for Munk19's second question, well, no matter how _obnoxious,_ how _destructive_ Alvin can be, I would never be so petty as to reveal one of his _many_ embarrassing secrets…

**Alvin:** BS! You almost spilled about me and Brittany's sex life this morning!

**Simon:** _Sex life! _There goes the G rating!

**Alvin:** Well, if you didn't want it to be a live show, you could have had it censored!

**SwEeTcAkEz7304 asks:**

**Simon, if u found out that u had 24 hours to live, how would you spend it?**

**Alvin:** With me of course!

**Simon:** Give me that! _(snatches the mike away)_ If that were the case, I would spend those 24 hours trying to find a cure for whatever terminal illness I have.

**Alvin:** You can't cure terminal illness in 24 hours!

**Simon:** I invented that Thinking Cap in less than 24 hours!

**Alvin:** And you used it to nerd-ify me without my permission!

**Simon:** Being nerd-ified, as you put it, made you a better player for the football team!

**Alvin:** But then it wore off and you got me humiliated in that smartypants game show!

**Simon:** We won fifty thousand dollars! I used my time machine to find out where to invest that money, and I invested it, and it is with what we have reaped from that investment that we are using to fund this show!

**Alvin:** Well, if you could only find a temporary cure for stupidity, then I'm sure you can only find a temporary cure for terminal illness!

**MunkGuy213 asks:**

**Hey Si, how would you know what you do if Alvin kept using Theodore as his stepping stool?**

**Alvin:** Theo makes a great stepping stool! And there's nothing that Simon can do about it!

**Simon:** The nerve of you, Alvin! Well, the best thing I can do is to teach Theodore how to stand on his own two feet so that Alvin does not walk all over him.

**Alvin:** Killjoy. On to the next question!

**ChipetteGirl10 asks:**

**Hey Simon, it's ChipetteGirl10!**

**I have a question. Has Theodore asked Eleanor out yet? Vice-versa? **

**P.S. Tell Alvin to PUT A SOCK IN IT!**

**Alvin: **Nope, but he asks out every other fat blonde chick he meets, he's such a pig…

**Simon:** PUT A SOCK IN IT!

_(yanks mike away from Alvin)_

Theodore is too shy to ask out anyone on his own. He is always asking for help from me and Alvin when it comes to dating. But he is still too shy to ask out his true crush Eleanor, so he is practicing his dating skills with other women. Eleanor, meanwhile, is understanding of his not being quite ready for her, so she is supporting of whatever relationship he has at the moment-

**Alvin:** 'Cause she doesn't want him, that's why!

**Simon:** Oh brother!

**Alvin:** Next question!

**Sum 141 asks:**

**Salutations A.A.T.C. What's your opinion on ? And what's your favorite band/kind of music?**

**Simon:** I do not read a lot of fanfiction, but I am fine with original characters as long as they are well developed. As for my favorite genre of music, well, the kind of music that me and my brothers play, the rock and roll and 80's pop, it's the kind of music that Alvin likes. My tastes run more toward classical music, and I am also fond of the New Wave music that Alvin thinks is so weird. My favorite band… Well, that's a tough question…

**Alvin:** Dead or Alive! C'mon, Simon, let's liven up this show with some music!

**Simon:** No.

**Alvin:** _(starts jamming on guitar)_ YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY…

**Simon:** That's a keyboard song!

**Alvin:** Then get on the keyboard! It's your specialty!

**Simon:** While my brother is occupied, I-

Alvin: WATCH OUT HERE I COME!

Simon: (inserts earplugs) Good thing I always have a pair of these handy. Anyway, while my brother is occupied, I shall take this opportunity to answer the rest of the questions!

**AjIsTheStar asks:**

**Hey, Simon!**

**What do you feel about your new movie; Chip-wrecked?**

**And;**

**Can you tell Alvin this?**

**Alvin, Brittany and you together- EEPPP! SO CUTE! :3**

**I hope that annoyed AND embarrassed you!**

***High fives you***

**Simon:** _(flushes red)_ Well, I've certainly made your day! I would never date a girl as shallow – not to mention slutty – as Brittany! As for the movie Chip-Wrecked, well, I used my time machine to peer into the future at that, and, well, if I told you about it, it would create a distortion in the time-space continuum… I would show you why if Pete Burns over there hadn't erased my work on the subject…

**Alvin:** ALL I KNOW IS THAT TO ME, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE LOTS OF FUN…

**Simon:** _(unplugs electric guitar)_

**Alvin:** Hey!

**Simon:** Our viewers cannot hear me answering their questions!

**Alvin:** You mean they can't hear your boring monologues!

**Simon:** Here's a couple more…

**madeline2011 asks:**

**hi are you happy about you and your brother new movie; Chip-wrecked? and how did you like the 1 and 2 movie of the chipmunks and do you like school and can you and your brother and the girls sing 3 of the song please like tHE GIRLS AND BOYS OF ROCK AND ROLL and the Love Shack Billy Ray Cyrus (Achy breaky heart please?**

**Alvin:** Don't mind if I do! _(starts jamming to "The Girls and Boys of Rock and Roll_") RO-O-O-O-OCK AND RO-WULL-ULL!

**Simon:** I have already answered your question about Chip-Wrecked, Madeline2011. Next time, before posting a question, please check the other questions that have been posted so that you don't post a repeat question. Last question:

**TheDCStar asks:**

**Hey there Simon! First of all, let me just say that I am a huge admirer of yours as well as your brothers! You guys rock! :)**

**So...my question is a little personal but I'm sure a lot of people are just as curious as I am. I know you said that your relationship with Jeanette is going great...but have you dropped the "L" bomb yet? In other words, have you told her you love her? If so, I want details, PLEASE?**

**Alvin:** LOVE SHACK! LOVE SHACK, BAY-BEE!

**Simon:** _(flushes again)_ I-I don't believe that I have. Perhaps she's watching… Jeanette, if you're watching right now, I just want to say right now… _(gulps)_ I love you.

**Alvin:** SO IF YOU BREAK MY HEART… MY ACHY BREAKY HEART…

**Simon:** Damn, I'll bet she didn't hear me! _(goes back stage to bring out a gadget that looks like an enormous ray gun_) This should poop his party real good!

_(ray gun fires a beam at Alvin, who shrinks and falls through the floor)_

_(Simon reaches through the hole and pulls little Alvin up, with difficulty, and places him offstage)_

**Alvin: **Dammit Simon! Your shrink ray made me tiny and heavy!

**Simon:** How many times do I have to tell you, it's a matter compactor!

**Alvin:** Wait a minute, from our spoof of "Honey I Shrunk the Kids"? I thought that was just a prop! And it didn't seem to make me heavy in the movie!

**Simon:** Well, movies aren't always realistic. Take our spoof of "Star Trek", for instance. You see the space aliens using a vacuum cleaner in space, which can't possibly work, because space_ is_ a vacuum, therefore there is no external pressure to create suction. Anyway, this matter compactor works by creating an energy field that changes your electrons into muons, which are heavier than electrons, but have smaller orbits, causing you to shrink in volume but gain in mass. Not to be confused with the shrink ray you messed around with that caused us to shrink and go inside Dave; that one actually decreases not only the volume but also the mass of your atoms-

**Alvin:** Hold the phone! I thought the whole tiny-inside-Dave incident was a dream! _My_ dream!

**Simon:** It actually happened. I used my patented psychoactive sleep formula on you to make you_ think_ it was a dream. As I did after that time machine incident with George Washington.

**Alvin:** You drugged me! And you think_ I_ do illegal stuff!

**Simon:** _(raises mike to his face)_ By the way, Jeanette, in case you didn't hear last time, I love you!

**Alvin:** Proud of you, brother! Now! I'm asking you viewers a question! Who do you think should host the show: me or Simon? Please post!

**Simon:** Ignore him. Next time Jeanette will be joining me on the show – if that's OK with you, Jeanette – and she'll be answering questions too! So, all you fans who submit questions, make sure to have one each for me and Jeanette!


	4. Simon & Jeanette

**Disclaimer: **_(sighs)_** I do not own Alvin and the Chipmunks, or Inception, or Transformers, or Jimmy Neutron, or anything else in this story I may have missed...**

**Simon:** Welcome to another installment of "Ask Simon"! That's right, not "Simon's Midnight Party House!" You will be happy to know that Alvin got himself kicked out of the studio, so he won't be here today!

**Jeanette:** Hello everybody!

**Simon:** And may I introduce you all to my girlfriend Jeanette Miller! As I told you last time, she will be here to answer your questions as well! Jeanette, would you do me the honor of reading the first question?

**Jeanette:** With pleasure!

**Awesomo3000 asks:**

**HEY, SI-MO-ON! Wazzup, bro? Awesomo3000 here! I have a hell of a lot of questions to ask you & Jeanette:**

**(ladies first) JEANETTE:**

**Have you asked Simon out on a date yet?**

**What was it like playing a mermaid in Sploosh?**

**SIMON:**

**Most people say that in a trio, such as you, Theodore and Alvin, the smart one is always the boring one. How do you respond to this?**

**Have you ever sung a song solo before?**

**BOTH:**

**Do you like sci-fi movies such as Transformers? If so, are you looking forward to Transformers: Dark of the Moon coming out? And who's your favourite Autobot/Decepticon? (Mine's Sideswipe!)**

**What is your favourite song that you have performed?**

**Please answer my questions! Thanks!**

**P.S. Alvin, even though I'm a fan of yours, please... JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP INTERRUPTING SIMON'S SHOW!**

**Jeanette:**_ (blushes)_ Um, well, I've never personally asked Simon out on a date before… Simon's asked me a few times, and Brittany's set me up on a few double-dates… Oh, and I loved being a mermaid on Sploosh! Brittany was so jealous that I got to be the mermaid! The tail was difficult to work with though; it required some movie magic to move the way it does on TV.

**Simon:** BORING? People only think that because Alvin is using his pop-culture icon power to brainwash the masses into thinking so. But people of superior intelligence, who have minds of their own, find me to be quite the opposite.

**Jeanette:** I don't think you're boring. If you ask me, Alvin is boring. Well, not boring; just vapid, like my sister. Theodore, I'm sorry to say, is the boring one. But he's cute, sweet, and he bakes good treats!

**Simon:** Solo… This will irritate Alvin to no end, but I was chosen to perform solo at a Mensa convention. I sang, "She Blinded Me With Science"! I did both voices!

**Jeanette:** I remember. That was funny! Alvin isn't allowed at Mensa conventions anyway.

**Simon:** Transformers… I'm sorry, while I do enjoy science fiction movies, I'm afraid Alvin is the Transformers fan in the family. I fell asleep while the movie was on. Alvin has a lot of those action figures.

**Jeanette:** Brittany would throw a fit if I tried to watch that anyway. Simon, didn't you build a robot that looks like one of the Transformers?

**Simon:** Yeah, I used Alvin's toy as a model for it.

**Jeanette:** My favorite song that I've performed is probably-

**Both:** _The Boys and Girls of Rock and Roll! (laugh)_

**Simon:** Dave wrote that. It was just The Boys of Rock and Roll at first…

**Jeanette:** But I wrote new lyrics to it for us girls!

**Simon:** Next question!

**ChipetteGirl10 asks:**

**It's meeeeee!**

**Okay, more questions. **

**First, though, a suggestion. Tie Alvin up and shove him in a dang closet till the end of a show.**

**Okay, questions:**

**What is the stupidest life-or-death situation Alvin has gotten you guys into?**

**- ChipeteGirl10**

**Simon:** Already done! Alvin's in a closet with a sock shoved in his mouth being forced to view us on TV!

**Jeanette: **But wouldn't Dave get mad at you if he found out you did that to your brother?

**Simon:** Alvin wouldn't dare tell! After all, he doesn't want Dave to hear about his dirty little exploits with Brittany…

**Jeanette:** Dave's watching, you know…

**Simon**: And Dave is also under the effects of the same pill I have been using to make Alvin think that a lot of what has happened was only in his dreams. I can stop the pill at any time I want… Stupidest life-or-death situation: The around the world balloon race, no doubt about it!

**Jeanette:** A lot of people don't know this, but those crystals inside the dolls weren't diamonds. It was crystal meth.

**Simon:** Yes, we were almost fed to crocodiles, you almost became a Saudi prince's concubine, and to top it all off… WE WERE EXPOSED TO ILLEGAL DRUGS!

**Jeanette:** Whew! Anyway…

**madeline2011 asks: **

**hey Simon what happen to your chipmunks dad? I have;t seen hime at all with your mother? and ps how did dave piano mysteriously crashes to the floor from the top of the staircase**

**and Jeanette did you and your sister like seen you best friend ffrom Australian Oliviaid right?**

**and in "I Love the Chipmunks Valentine Special**

**hoh did you get glue on yourself? and how long did it take for you and Eleanor along with Simon and Theodore to learn**

**Tell Him Right Now?**

**Simon:** Well, my mother never told me about what happened to my father. It could be a number of different reasons. Perhaps she had been raped; perhaps he's a deadbeat who doesn't want to support his kids; perhaps he died, most likely during the winter that we were given away; perhaps he was tired of a country life and went to college to become an Ivy League scholar…

**Jeanette: **Now you're just dreaming.

**Simon:** I had to have gotten it from somewhere. Perhaps he went to Australia, met your mother, and had you and your sisters; which would make you and I…

**Both:** _Half-siblings!_

**Simon:** Don't worry about it; I'll do a blood test on us to confirm whether or not marriage between us would be incest. Of course, I think that it's very likely that mom, ahem, slutted around and wound up having a litter born to two or three different fathers. That is the only way I could explain being related to Alvin.

**Jeanette**: I could easily imagine that you and Theodore are half-brothers, but you have more in common with Alvin than you think.

**Simon:** Jeanette, answer your questions, if you don't mind.

**Jeanette:** All right! _(giggles) _Yes, I do get to see Olivia regularly, if that's what you're asking – please take care with your grammar next time, if you don't mind. Oh, um, I don't know how I got glue all over myself. I guess I forgot to close the glue bottle well enough… Dave wrote the song "Tell Him Right Now" for me and my sisters. We rehearsed it with the boys a few weeks prior to the Valentine's Day Ball, and since Alvin and Brittany got to be Valentine King and Queen it was only me and Simon and Eleanor and Theodore who got to sing it.

**Simon:** As for the piano, well, I miscalculated the tensile strength of the rope that I was using to carry the piano upstairs. It turned out that it was made of a cheap synthetic material. Next questions:

**TheDCStar asks:**

**Hey again Simon! Tell Alvin to give his ego a rest and let you do your show! :P**

**Anyway, I don't really have a question for you, but I do have one for Jeanette.**

**Hey Jeanette! I think you are AMAZING! My question for you is: Under all that math and science, is Simon truly a romantic at heart?**

**Oh, and Simon, I hope you know that you are very lucky to have Jeanette :)**

**Simon:** TAKE THAT ALVIN!

**Jeanette:** Yes, Simon is the most romantic person I know. People see him and think he's a total left-brained nerd and doesn't have an artistic bone in his body, but they couldn't be more wrong. He sculpts and paints and writes classical music and romantic poetry… and he's far more sophisticated than Alvin.

**Simon:** _(blushes)_ Yes, I know how truly lucky I am to have Jeanette. Not too many girls have her brains, or her heart, and not too many girls notice me the way she does.

**Jeanette:** _(blushes)_ Aww… Next questions!

**Winddragon Eternal asks:**

**Hey Simon, it's nice to see that you're having a talk show of your own. :)**

**I just want to say that you're doing an absolutely splendid job, and for that, I have a few questions for you.**

**Science is most definitely your favourite subject in school, am I right? But which field are you more interested in: Biology, Chemistry or Physics?**

**What do you think of the movie Inception, and the possibilities of multiple dream levels at the same time?**

**What's your favourite book of all time?**

**How do you feel about all those fanfics where you have an extra member of the family, and which OC would you really love to have as a brother of your own?**

**I look forward to your answers really soon! :)**

**~ Wind**

**Simon:** Thank you. Yes, science is indeed my favorite subject, closely tied with mathematics, of course. As for my favorite field of science, I would have to say Physics. I do win a Nobel Prize for Physics in the future, after all. My favorite fields are probably quantum physics, astrophysics, and mathematical physics. Although I'm quite fond of Chemistry as well… Inception? Hmm… _(Googles the movie _Inception_) _Very interesting. Very much in line with what I have been studying in order to create that pill I used on Alvin. Perhaps I should create an experimental lucid dreaming pill to test on him next, what do you think, Jeanette?

**Jeanette:** And a machine to peek inside his dreams too! But make sure that you don't hurt him. If you're going to use Alvin as your guinea pig, you need to treat him humanely.

**Simon:** Hurt him? I would never! _(snickers)_ Luckily, it's not illegal to test on chipmunks!  
**Jeanette:** _Inception_ sounds like a good date movie. Do you agree?

**Simon:** Yes, I do. As for my favorite book… well, I always say that it's whatever book I'm reading at the moment. But the one I enjoyed most during the process of reading it is probably Principia Mathematica by Sir Isaac Newton. I read it when I was six years old!

**Jeanette:** I like the collected works of William Shakespeare!

**Simon:** Fanfics, huh? I don't read a lot of those… Whichever fanfic OC is like me and not like Alvin is the one I would like for a brother! Next questions!

**NerdInAWord asks:**

**Hey Simon! I've got a few questions to ask you...**

**First: WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO SPLOOSH? Were you and Jeanette just too shy to let them air that episode after you kissed or what?**

**Second: What's your opinion on Brimon, Alvon, and Dave X Miss Miller? (Personally, that last one makes me shudder...)**

**Third: Don't you find it a bit of a coincidence that the Chipmunks and Chipettes have almost the same favorite colors, looks, and everything? Perhaps the Chipettes were actually different versions of you guys from another dimension... *strokes beard***

**Simon:** Well, as for Sploosh, they failed to syndicate that one, and it sort of got lost at the studios, I guess… (blushes) Brimon… I believe I have already mentioned on this show how I feel about Brittany as a (gulps) girlfriend. As for Alvon… That is sick and wrong! Not that I'm a homophobe, but for crying out loud… Alvin is my brother! And I don't even like him as a brother, let alone a boyfriend! Dave and Miss Miller… Ugh. Dave would never…

**Jeanette:** It would never happen anyway. Miss Miller passed away some years ago. _(sniffs)_ My sisters and I were soon after emancipated, and we went to live at our old treehouse again.

**Simon:** Yes, I do find it strange how much we resemble the Chipettes. A trio of singing male chipmunks crosses paths with a trio of singing female chipmunks of the same age and with similar personalities and looks and interests… Serendipitous, no? It is almost as if there is a Creator up above who has been scripting our lives and has created us especially for each other…

**Both:** Hmmmm…..

Simon: Anyway…

**Simon Seville asks:**

**Alvin you and Brittany "did it". Tusk, tusk. Now for my questions...**

**Simon, if you could be a guest star on any cartoon, which would it be.**

**Alvin... if you could stalk any celebrity, who would it be?**

**Jeanette, would you rather die single and rich, or married and homeless?**

**For all of you...**

**What is the most embarrassing thing that you guys have done to yourself on TV?**

**Simon:** Yep, they sure did do it. Well, if I could guess star on any cartoon, it would be Jimmy Neutron. I would love to show that obnoxious little protozoan exactly who is the king of science!

**Jeanette:** Yes, such an ego… like Alvin if Alvin had a big brain!

**Simon:** Well, Alvin isn't here to answer his question, so I'm just going to do as he does and answer it for him! _(snickers)_ If Alvin could stalk any celebrity, it would most likely be a sexy female celebrity, like Madonna if it were the eighties, or Britney Spears if it were 1999, or today, it would probably be… Lady Gaga, I guess.

Jeanette: I would say Ke$ha.

**Simon:** Indeed.

**Jeanette:** If I were married to Simon, I would rather die married and homeless. However, if I had to be married to Alvin, then I'd rather die single and rich!

**Simon:** Ugh! All the embarrassing things… _Waaay_ too many to count! Like the time Alvin made a fool of himself on "Genius in the House"…

**Jeanette:** And they always make sure to include all of my clumsy mishaps! I wish they would show fewer of those and more of my intelligence!

**Simon:** And my baby video! I was such a stupid baby, I couldn't even build a decently structured tower, and I cried like a baby when it toppled!

**Jeanette:** Of course you cried like a baby, you were a baby!

**Simon:** A baby prodigy!

**Jeanette:** Don't feel too bad. You're still emotionally mature for your age. Especially compared to Alvin. Next question:

**Sonnygirl09 asks:**

**Hey Simon!**

**I love your show and I've got a few questions of my own!**

**1). What was you and Jeanette's 1st kiss like? Spill all details!**

**2). Jeanette how romantic is Simon really? Simon same question.**

**3). What's it like living with Alvin and Theodore? Brittany and Eleanor?  
Simon:** I believe there is going to be a fanfic coming up that will answer your number 1. As for number 2, Jeanette already answered about me, and as for Jeanette, well… she's a very sophisticated, well-rounded young woman, and she rates very high, even objectively speaking, on the scale of romance.

Jeanette: Thank you.

Simon: As for 3, it's nice to live with Theodore, even though he requires extensive tutoring, because he is an excellent chef. I believe I have already made it clear what a headache Alvin is to live with.

**Jeanette:** Eleanor is a good cook too. She sticks up for me, and so does Brittany, but Brittany seems to think that it's OK for her to pick on me even if it isn't for anyone else. Next question!

**Tiana Koopa asks:**

**Hi Simon. Do you play any video games? Do you like Science? I do!**

**Simon:** Yes, we have already confirmed that I like Science. Good to see that somebody else does. As for video games, well, I do play them, although I am not as crazy about them as Alvin is. I am better at RPGs such as Pokemon, whereas Alvin is better at video games that require quick reflexes such as New Super Mario Bros. Wii.

**xAllyAnneSevillex asks:**

**I have quite a few questions:**

**1) What was it like playing Brice Wayne/Batmunk?**

**2) Is there anything you wish you could have spoofed? (Personally, I think a James Bond spoof would've been cool, especially if you were Bond, Simon.)**

**3) Have any of you ever hoped for solo careers in music?**

**4) Are you allowing OC guest stars at this time? I'd love to come on the show!**

**Simon:** Haha, Alvin was so jealous when I got to be Batmunk! It felt superlative to be a superhero, yet the role still fit because Brice Wayne is an inventor! Although I wish they had cast Jeanette as the female lead…

Jeanette: Yeah, Brittany is such a bimbo.

**Simon:** As for spoofs, yes, there are a number of movies from back in the day I would have liked to spoof… Alvin wanted to spoof Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure… but I agree that I would have made an excellent Bond. As for modern movies, well, we could have made a Twilight spoof called Nightlight…

**Jeanette**: They already made a spoof of the Twilight book called Nightlight.

**Simon:** Oh. Well, Dusklight, then. I would be great as Edward, you would be very fitting as Bella, Alvin and Brittany could be Emmett and Rosalie, and Eleanor and Theodore could be Alice and Jasper.

**Jeanette:** Yes! We'd be so perfect for the parts!

**Simon:** Well, since I'm going to be a physicist, and Theodore's going into cooking, I guess Alvin's going to end up with the solo career. As for guess stars on my show… Well, I think it's a good idea, but I would have to discuss it with the studio director. I can't do it next week, I've got something planned already, but I'll see about having you on for the week after.

**Jeanette:** One more question!

**Kaylie asks:**

**Simon, how does it make you feel when the movie makers don't put any simonette in any of the episodes? And were you horribly emberassed when you and jeanette kissed in sploosh? **

**how did you feel in "Alvin and the chipmunks go washington" when jeanette hugged you? **

**And do you plan on popping the question to jeanette anytime soon? ;)**

**Simon:** Well, it's understandable that they would cut out all the Simonette scenes; we were, after all, 8-year-old third graders, our show being intended for that age group, and the producers didn't want to encourage romantic behavior among that age group. But many don't realize that chipmunks hit puberty sooner than humans do, which explains why so many of Alvin's crushes are unrequited…

**Jeanette:** While it was kind of embarrassing to kiss Simon on TV, it's still not right for them to keep Sploosh in the vault, considering how many fans want to see that kiss.

**Simon:** Ahh, that time when Jeanette hugged me was one of those Simonette scenes that slipped past the radar! That was a boyfriend/girlfriend sort of hug!

**Jeanette:** And also the way Simon comforted me after we got scammed by Uncle Harry in New York – rubbing and patting me on the shoulders – that's a boyfriend/girlfriend gesture too!

**Simon:** Popped the question?

**Jeanette:** What question?

**Simon:** Please clarify. Um, Jeanette?

**Jeanette:** Is there a question of your own that you want to pop?

**Simon:** Well, since our fans have been deprived from Sploosh…

**Jeanette:** Perhaps it was censored because of our kiss?

**Simon:** No, they could easily have cut that out. The dumb fucks – pardon my language – just lost it. Well, you know that they can't censor live television…

**Jeanette:** The answer to that question is yes! _(throws herself into Simon's arms and gives him a looong kiss)_

_(Both are blushing)_

**Jeanette:** Oh, look, we got an answer to our question!

**UniqueRosa Damascena answers:**

**I think Simon should host the show since it is called "Ask Simon" but Alvin can still be a part.**

**Simon:** Well, as a matter of fact, Alvin is going to be on the show next week. In fact, all of us are! So be prepared, viewers, with questions for me and Jeanette, Eleanor and Theodore, Alvin and Brittany.

**Jeanette:** But how are you going to control Alvin?

**Simon:** Using electroshock behavioral management, of course!

**Jeanette:** But isn't that a little cruel?

**Simon:** Cruel? Not at all! It's not nearly enough voltage to kill him… _(evil look in eyes)_ In fact, it's no more shocking than Dave's voice when he screams ALLLVIIIN!

**Jeanette:** Well, that's it for out show! Hope you enjoyed it! Come up with more questions next time for all of us! And come up with really good questions too!

**Simon:** Like my research in temporal dynamics!

**BTW, speaking of Jimmy Neutron... there's a poll on my profile on the subject. Please vote! Also, tell me what you would think of a AATC/Jimmy Neutron crossover, and what you would like to see in it!**


	5. All the Munks

**Disclaimer: I do not own Alvin and the Chipmunks, or anything else mentioned in this fanfic.**

**I apologize for being lazy with the formatting, it's just that this chapter turned out to be really, really long.**

(Alvin, Brittany, Eleanor and Theodore are waiting on the set when Simon and Jeanette to arrive).

Alvin: Finally! What took you guys so long?

(Simon puts a funny collar around Alvin's neck).

Alvin: Hey! What was that for?

Simon: Remember the agreement? I will explain later.

Simon: Sorry I was late everybody! Jeanette and I were at a math convention.

Jeanette: We had a lot of fun! We entered a math competition and won prizes! I won this book called The Jungle of Randomness!

Simon: And my prize was a 4 by 4 Rubik's Cube!

Alvin: Doesn't look like you've taken a crack at it yet! (Simon presses a button on a remote, and Alvin laughs uncontrollably).

Simon: Although Alvin, along with the rest of us, is featured on today's show, you will be pleased to know that there will be no interruptions, lest Alvin should want to suffer an attack from my Tickle Collar! I decided that an electroshock collar was cruel, so I'm going to tickle torture him! He was not supposed to be on the show anymore, and this is the only way I could get the studio director to let him come on today. By the way, Alvin, I have already solved my 4 by 4 Rubik's Cube. Do you want to try, Jeanette?

Jeanette: Sure! (Simon shuffles up the cube and hands it to Jeanette).

Simon: Well, today I'm going to study the effects of tickle-torture on operant conditioning, as a painless alternative to teaching through shock punishment. Let's see if we can use it to teach Alvin Calculus!

Alvin: But I'm allergic to math!

Simon: (Presses tickle button). Well, we are going to change that! Eleanor, would you like to read off my questions?

Eleanor: Sure thing!

**madeline2011 asks:**

**Simon how was it like play for the queen? in Royalty Received**

**and Alvin did you like the two week rest Dave give at the of the concert?**

**Theodore, what was it like being a werewolfs**

**Brittany how did you like volunteering at the hospital?**

**Eleanor do you really play Soccer**

**and Jeanette, let me asked you something ok in "The Brunch Club what were you doing at the time of the statue of Thomas Edison get knocked over becuase they never go into your story? at all and ps wourl you and your sister please sing my Mother for Miss miller please?**

Simon: It was an honor to play for such a prominent public figure. The Queen was very nice and polite and grandmotherly, and I find it quite amusing that she actually likes Chipmunk music, which is aimed at kids. Alvin, that is not how you derive using the Quotient Rule! (Presses tickle button). By the way, the next question is for you.

Alvin: Umm, which concert are you talking about? I generally enjoy two week breaks between concerts! Sometimes it feels like Dave is overworking us… And he wonders why I get bad grades!

Simon: I earn straight A's, don't give me that excuse! Although the frequent concerts do interfere with my scientific research…

Theodore: It felt cool to be a werewolf! It was like I had lots of energy and big muscles! But it also felt scary, like, um… like a werewolf brain was taking over my brain. H-he made me eat meat, and I don't want to eat meat anymore because they torture animals to make it!

Brittany: Eleanor talked me into volunteering for the hospital. I did not want to be a Candy Striper at first, but then it made me feel kind of warm and fuzzy… eew, I made a cliché on public television!

Eleanor: I told you you would like it! Yes, I really do play soccer. Just because I'm heavyset doesn't make me weak! A good deal of my weight, in fact, is actually muscle!

Jeanette: (fiddles with Rubik's cube) It's quite difficult… different from a 3 by 3... Now let's see… I don't remember… I must have been in the library, because that's where I usually am when I'm not in class… Simon, is it okay if me and my sisters sing "My Mother" for the audience?

Simon: Hmm, I actually received an email for my other account requesting that. Well, if Madeline2011 wants it that bad, then go ahead!

Chipettes: One, two, three…

It's hard to remember

A summer or winter

When she hasn't been there for me

A friend and companion

I can always depend on

My mother

That's who I mean

I've taken for granted

seeds that she planted

She's always behind every thing

A teacher a seeker

A both arms out reacher

My mother

That's who I mean

Wish I could slow down

The hands of time

keep things the way they are

If she said so

I would give her the world

If I could… I would

My love and my laughter

From here ever after

Is all that she says that she needs

A friend and companion

I can always depend on

My mother

That's who I mean

My mother

That's who I mean… that's who I mean

Simon: (sniffs) Beautiful.

Jeanette: The saddest part is that we never knew our mother… And now, we don't even have Miss Miller…

(Chipettes cry).

Simon: There, there. You'll have my mother as a mother-in-law when you get married to us Chipmunks.

Eleanor: All right, enough now, it's time for the next question.

**The Chipette Protector asks:**

**Haha! Another Good Episode! I have some more questions:**

**1. Have the new movies increased your guys' popularity?**

**2. What would happen if you were bite by a vampire an then turned into one Simon?**

**3. Jeanette, what would you and your sisters do if Alvin, Simon and Theodore were killed?**

**4. What do you two have to say to people who make Fanfiction where there are Mixed Relationships?**

**(ex. AlvinxEleanor, SimonxBrittany, TheodorexJeanette etc.)**

**5. Jeanette what would you do if Brittany or Eleanor started dating Simon? (even though it probally won't happen...)**

**And 6. Whatever happened to Charlene?**

**Enjoy!**

Simon: Well, yes. There are many people who weren't fans of us until they saw our cute furry CGI-rendered versions on the big screen. And I don't have a problem with that, because most of them have become fans of us, the real chipmunks, as well. Okay, Alvin, how do you integrate x squared?

Alvin: Umm… The essy-mark means that I take the little number and subtract – no! add one to it, and then divide x by that number minus one… Stop tickling!

Simon: Integration means you add one to the exponent and then divide by that new number, not the old number like with integration!

Alvin: Don't you have another question to answer?

Simon: Yes, indeed. If I were bit by a vampire… Well, I don't know what real vampires are like. I didn't believe in such supernatural creatures until Theodore became a werewolf. I now know what real werewolves are like, but I can't say the same about vampires…

Alvin: You could ask Madame Raya.

Simon: She seemed like a rather cheap phony psychic if you ask me.

Alvin: But her monster book was right about Theodore!

Simon: Well, I don't have the monster book with me. Seriously, why does everybody want to see me turn into a vampire!

Alvin: (turns to audience) Trust me, he already is a vampire! (suffers from a tickle attack) Well, you're certainly the type!

Jeanette: How could you even ask such a horrible question? I would spend the rest of my life researching a way to bring them back to life.

Brittany: I would take some of the millions that I will make in the future as a movie star and pop singer and give them to that Dr. Frankenstein that you guys met and ask him to bring you guys back to life!

Eleanor: Eew, Frankenmunks!

Simon: Besides, Dr. Frankenstein is permanently stuck in a Sammy Squirrel costume!

Alvin: Ugh, I hate Sammy Squirrel!

Simon: He is a derogatory stereotype of us sciuromorphic peoples!

Alvin: Yeah, and he is an insult to squirrels and chipmunks everywhere!

Simon: That's just what I said, Alvin.

Alvin: Hehe, I know, I was just translating it into English for the audience!

Theodore: Well, I think Sammy Squirrel is cute!

Simon: Theodore, Sammy is to us what minstrel shows are to African-Americans!

Theodore: What are minstrel shows?

Simon: Never mind.

Jeanette: And he is not the smartest little rodent in the world, you are!

Simon: Aww, tied with you! (kisses Jeanette)

Alvin: Yuck!... Ahaha! Stop the tickling!

Simon: After what you do with Brittany you think that us kissing is gross?

Alvin: That's different. We do it in private. You kiss on public television!

Simon: Good point. But kisses are what the fans want. We're getting off track. As for mixed couples… while I support the idea of free speech and have nothing against people expressing their creativity, I really prefer the stories that portray me and Jeanette together. There's a cute little story about me and Jeanette I read recently called "Simonette This is My Idea" that's in the Chipmunks Crossovers section under "Swan Princess". It's short, but I think that you fans will enjoy it.

Jeanette: Well, you're right, Simon would never date Brittany or Eleanor, but if he did, I would patiently wait until he snapped back to his senses. And if that took too long, I would begin to date Alvin or Theodore to make him jealous, even I would really not want to do that…

Brittany: Jeanette, have some guts! That's the best way to win your man back!

Jeanette: But I would never have to worry about that anyway.

Simon: As for Charlene…

Alvin: Never mind Charlene! Next question!

Brittany: Who's Charlene?

Simon: (whispers to Eleanor) Hurry up and read off the next question.

Eleanor: Right.

**TheDCStar asks:**

**Hey everyone! You guys are all awesome, and I love your show Simon! :)**

**Anyway, onto my questions:**

**Theodore: What inspired you to start cooking? Have you always had a love for food?**

**Eleanor: Do you have a favorite hobby?**

**Alvin: What makes Brittany so attractive to you?**

**Brittany: How many pairs of shoes do you have in you closet right now? You have to tell the truth on this one.**

**Simon: If you could find a cure for any illness, which one would it be?**

**Jeanette: Who is your favorite author?**

**Sorry if my questions seem a little out there, but that's just how I roll ;)**

Theodore: Yes! I have always loved food! I like to cook because I like to make food that's extra yummy!

Simon: Yes, Theodore's a super taster! He's got more taste buds than the average chipmunk!

Eleanor: Well, I have lots of hobbies. I like to swim, play soccer, crochet, cook… But I'd probably say cooking's right up there. Theodore and I have similar cooking styles… creative, but not crazy, and juuuust perfect!

Alvin: Let's see, I like Brittany because she's a star, like me, except not quite as big, and she's beautiful and sexy!

Brittany: Ahem!

Alvin: Oh, not to mention fantastic in bed!

Brittany: So you have bedded enough girls to compare me with to know that? (takes Simon's tickle remote)

Alvin: Wait! I don't know that! All I know is that no other girl could be as fantastic to me as you!

Brittany: Good to know that I'm valued for nothing beyond being a sex goddess!

Alvin: Brittany! You're not just beautiful and sexy, you're… charming…

Brittany: (blushing) Go on…

Alvin: And dynamic… and smart… and kind… and courageous… and all that other stuff.

Brittany: Thank you. (hands Simon back his tickle remote).

Simon: Well, right now I'm working on a cure for stupidity… You do not cancel out the d's in dy/dx! (presses tickle button). But it's hard to say which real disease I would cure… All of them, if I could, but I would start with cancer because it's the most ubiquitous.

Jeanette: Well, like I said on the last show, I am really fond of Shakespeare, but if you mean which modern day author… it's really hard to decide… maybe Dan Brown. I think it would be fascinating to do the sort of stuff Robert Langdon does, minus all the danger… but that's interesting to read about too.

Eleanor: Next question…

Alvin: I want to read out the questions!

Simon: (presses tickle button) Go on, Eleanor.

Eleanor: **Tiana Koopa asks:**

**Simon: I'm good at those types of video games. Anyways:**

**What was the weirdest thing you've ever seen?**

Simon: Definitely the person in the "Q" costume on "Genius in the House". I already mentioned it on the first show. An audience member named Sherry asked me about that…

(an audience member raises his hand, a fiftysomething man in a biker jacket)

Simon: Yes, you over there, what is your question?

Audience Member: My name is Stew, and I've been wanting to ask you, do you store nuts in your mouth?

Simon: Well, as chipmunks, we do have cheek pouches that we use to store food when we eat more than we need. That's how Theodore is able to eat so much – because he stores so much in his cheek pouches. It makes him appear chubbier than he really is, in fact.

Theodore: And we do eat a lot of nuts, but we don't like the kinds that chipmunks in the wild like our mother eat.

Simon: I have a lot more questions to answer, so I don't have time to answer any more audience questions. Sorry. Alvin, just because this is calculus does not mean you can forget everything you learned in Trigonometry! (presses tickle button)

Alvin: Haha! Stop! I never even took Trigonometry! Why do you think this is so hard for me!

Eleanor: Next question!

**Dianne asks:**

**Dear Simon,**

**I have a few questions for you. Please answer them the best you can.**

**1. Who is the oldest? You or Alvin? I've been confused about that since the episode "Grounded Chipmunk" came out! With all of the fanfics that are all over the place. There could be one that says that your the oldest and another that says Alvins the oldest. So can you please help me out.**

**2. I am the Middle child out of my siblings. And although I've always been more of a gentle, sensitive and kind person, I have no idea how to handle being picked on by them. I don't fight or call them names because I don't want them to do that to me, (it's the Golden rule) but they just keep doing it. I don't know what to do, we used to be really close and we used to never pick on each other. And this may seem kind of strange to you but my little sister picks on me more than my older brother. It's always the little things that get me, like when she calls me "retard", and tells me that she hates me and that she wishes I wasn't her sister. I don't know what to do. All I really want is to be closer to my siblings.**

**So I was just thinking that because you have to deal with Alvin (no offense Alvin, we ll love you, but let's face, you can be a real pain in the rear end!)maybe you could help me? Thanks.**

Simon: Well, Alvin likes to think he is the oldest, but the truth is that our mother never told us who was the oldest. I guess we forgot to ask her…

Alvin: What are you talking about? I am the oldest! Don't I have an older sibling type personality?

Simon: One could argue that I have the oldest sibling type personality. Regardless, we're fraternal triplets, so our age difference is a trivial matter of minutes. Well, Dianne, I'm sorry that your little sister is such a, no offense, a brat, but perhaps she is too young to appreciate you as an older sister. One day, she'll grow up and come around. In the meantime… just turn the other cheek. Of course, there is also the possibility that your sister, like Alvin here, will never grow up…

Alvin: Says the namby-pamby virgin!

Simon: (presses tickle button) Sexual precocity does not equate with emotional maturity! I guess Alvin likes to be tickled. Perhaps I should have tried electroshock behavioral reinforcement…

Eleanor:

**The Chipette Protector asks:**

**U forgot my questions! Well I guess u all ran out of time...**

**I have another Question for Alvin:**

**Whatever happened to Charlene? And have u ever told Brittany about her and your song together, 'Youre the one that I want'**

**Also Simon and Jeanette:**

**How bad would it be if Alvin and Brittany knew how to hypnotize people?**

Brittany: Who's Charlene?

Alvin: She's nobody! Simon, Jeanette, answer your question!

Brittany: Not until you tell me who Charlene is, and why you sang a song from Grease with her!

Alvin: (flushes red) All right, it's no big deal… Charlene is old enough to be my mom! Dave kind of wanted to help her with her career, so he had us sing with her to promote her image! Her stage name was Charlene the Chipette.

Brittany: So that's where you came up with that name for us! Oh no! Doesn't that mean we're stealing that name?

Alvin: No. Charlene quit show business to move back to Australia where she came from. She was an Olivia Newton-John wannabe.

(Chipettes gasp)

Alvin: Come to think of it, she might even be your mom…

Simon: Well, if Alvin and Brittany could hypnotize people, we would all be in big trouble, to say the least.

Jeanette: But Alvin and Brittany most off all, because whatever crazy plans they come up with would probably backfire!

Eleanor:

**ChipetteGirl10 asks:**

**I'm ba-ack!**

**Okay, questions for ALL of you.**

**Brittany: What is UP with you and Alvin (no gross details)**

**Alvin: If you could marry Brittany or Beyonce, who would you choose?**

**Jeanette: Math, literacy, or science?**

**Simon: If you could transport Alvin somewhere where he would never bother you, where would it be?**

**Theodore: Pie or cake?**

**Eleanor: What's your favorite 3 sports?**

**- ChipetteGirl10**

Brittany: Well, Alvin is REAL good in bed, and I like to think I am too, but we use contraceptives, so don't worry about us getting pregnant or anything!

Alvin: But if you do want the gross details, I could spill if only I were given permission by this studio to do my own Q & A show for mature viewers!

Simon: (presses tickle button) It's Brittany's turn, Alvin! Although that might be a good idea, if it would get you out of my hair…

Eleanor: Okay, Alvin, now it is your turn.

Alvin: Hehe! Tough choice!

(Brittany takes the tickle remote and turns it on high)

Alvin: Ha ha! Stop it! Stop! Okay, okay! You, without a doubt!

Jeanette: I suppose you mean literature, not literacy. Hmm, I am equally talented in all of these subject areas, but since Simon is the math and science person, I'm going to be the literature person.

Simon: You don't have to be the literature person if you'd rather go for math and science. As a matter of fact, I would love to have you help me in the lab so we could win Nobel Prizes together like Pierre and Marie Curie. And it's also stereotypical for the man to go for science and math and the woman to go for the humanities.

Jeanette: Yes, but I see myself winning a Nobel Prize for Literature in the future, so I'm assuming that's my real passion.

Simon: That's not to say that you don't win a Nobel Prize for Physics or Chemistry or Medicine/Physiology as well. You could even write literature that's inspired by the sciences. I know I plan to.

Jeanette: Well, I have my whole life to think about it.

Simon: Now where would I transport Alvin… Mars.

Alvin: But I'd suffocate!

Simon: Not if I send you to the Mars in Jimmy Neutron's universe, where nobody has to wear a space helmet! Great crossover fanfic, by the way.

Theodore: Pie or cake… Definitely cake. Unless it's pecan pie…

(Chipmunks and Chipettes all go "mmmm…")

Eleanor: My favorite 3 sports, in order from most to least fave, are soccer, swimming, and… probably tennis. Okay, next question!

**NicBaz asks:**

**Okay I have 2 questions. First one Alvin in the future do you think that you will become a solo artist? Second Brittany in the future do you think you will marry Alvin if so how many children would you have?**

Alvin: Well, since Simon's going to be a scientist and Theodore's going to be a cook, yes, I will definitely become a solo artist. I think I would eventually anyway, even if my brothers just wanted to be singers like me.

Brittany: Well, I know that I'm marrying Alvin in the future. Also, since I'm going to be rich in the future, I can have as many children as I want. But I think I will stop at one litter. Chipmunks usually have 1 to 4 children per litter. If it's a small litter, I might have one more litter.

Eleanor: Here's another question from NicBaz:

**Brittany this question is for you if you had 3 children with alvin and two were boys and if one was a girl what would you name them?**

Brittany: Umm… I would probably name the girl Britney as in Britney Spears, rather than spelled like my name, to avoid confusion. And Alvin would name the boys… I guess he would name one of them Alvin Jr. and the other one, um, maybe Alvin Jr. with a different middle name.

Eleanor:

**Gwendoline Mary asks:**

**OK, I have a question**

**Could you tell me who would play who if you had to act "Robin Hood"?**

Simon: I would be Robin Hood, Theodore would be Little John, Jeanette would be Maid Marian, Eleanor would be Lady Cluck – oh, that's right, you're not necessarily talking about the Disney version – Marian's lady-in-waiting, then. Alvin could be Prince John…

Brittany: What about me?

Simon: I don't know, there aren't enough female characters… Prince John's fiancée, I guess.

Alvin: I want to be Robin Hood!

Simon: You are supposed to be working on your infinite sums!

Alvin: You make me learn these essy marks and now you want me to learn these college frat letters… what is it, sigma? I do not have a big fat sponge brain like you… ahaha! Stop it! Stop…

Simon: Who set the tickle setting to extra-high?

Brittany: Guilty.

Simon: The extra-high setting has never been tested!

(Alvin's tickle collar breaks)

Alvin: YEEESSS! I am free to read off and answer the rest of the questions! Outta my way, Eleanor! (reads the last two posts) Read it and weep, four-eyes! Your first flame!

**Kayla Shayla asks:**

**Hey! What's with you guys dissing on Alvin and Brittany? You act as if you don't like them at all! They're your siblings and it shouldn't matter if their a little difficult and their a little more immature than you are. Your family and your supposed to be there for each other, not make fun of them when their not around! It all comes back to the Golden Rule, I bet you don't like it when Alvin or Brittany make fun of you, do you? No! So my question is, why are you doing it to them? And on a live television show, no less, where anyone can see it! I haven't heard you guys say one nice thing about either of them! You guys should be ashamed of yourselves! Seriously, not cool! You guys expect Alvin and Brittany to treatyou with respect and be kind to you, but it's kind of hard to do that when the see the two people who they look up to sit there and do exactly what their not suppose to do! Believe it or not, Alvin and Brittany really look up to you two and you guys usually have their backs, but today what you did to alvin and brittany was the exact opposite of having their back! What if you need some thing from Alvin or Brittany tomorrow, or next week or the week after that, do you think they're going to help you afterthe things you said about them? Heck, no! And you know why? Because their siblings taught them that you don't have to have eachother's backs!**

**I used to really look up to you guys, I thought that I could relate to you guys, but now, I really feel bad for Alvin and Brittany!**

**I know you probably don't give rats behind about me and what I have to say, but just know that what you did today was really mean and really unfunny! I am just astonished and I expected more from you! And I'll have you know that Alvin IS a pretty awesome guy, same thing with Brittany and tearing them down to make yourselves feel better is just disgusting!**

Jeanette: Oh no…

Alvin: And that's not all!

**Fiona asks:**

**Did you even read that one? The one from Kayla Shayla? Whoever she is, she's right! The way you treated your siblings is unforgivable! What makes you think you can say that to your own siblings? You're not better than they are and they're no better than you! Learn to be nice! Some people don't wanna sit there and watch you be a jerk to your own siblings! You lose more fans that way, and it looks like you already lost a fan... But you probably don't care, do you?**

**Well, I don't hate you, ok? Just stop being mean!**

Simon: Touchy, aren't they? We're siblings. We tease each other. That's what siblings do! It doesn't mean that we don't have our siblings' backs!

Jeanette: And that's not true! We do care a lot about what our viewers have to say! Although they are right, some of the things we said were a bit out of line… Brittany, I'm sorry I called you a bimbo.

Brittany: When did you call me that?

Jeanette: On last week's show. Didn't you watch it?

Brittany: No, I was at the mall. I forgot. Sorry.

Jeanette: (tearing up) You forgot? Why is it every time something important like this happens you're off shopping at the mall?

Brittany: Why is it that you have all this important stuff happen when I'm at the mall?

Alvin: Simon! Why do you always diss on me? Do I diss on you all the time?

Simon: Actually, yes. Shall I count the ways?

Alvin: Okay, I guess I do diss on you a little. But that's the kind of example you're setting by dissing on me! But the reason I do it is because I'm… jealous of you. Why do you have to be the smart one! I'm the one with the big ideas, but they never work because I'm too stupid to make them work!

Simon: Don't say that, Alvin. You do have some of my intelligence. Your IQ is a fair bit beyond average, as a matter of fact. But you're lazy, and you don't take the time to think things through. That's why I make snide comments about you – because it would appear that the way to your brain is through your ego. The only thing that motivates you is a good ego-bruising.

Alvin: Wow… I guess you're right. (hugs Simon)

Jeanette: It's no big deal, Brittany. We've got the last show recorded if you want to watch it later.

Brittany: I will. (hugs Jeanette)

Simon: Well, I will contact that studio director and ask about giving you your own mature version of my show. By the way, AllyAnnSeville, if you happen to be watching, he liked the idea of having fans guest star on the show, and you're coming on our next show! From now on, we will be accepting viewer requests to guest star on the show on a first-come-first-serve basis! Good night everybody!

Jeanette: Yay! I solved it!

**BTW I really was at a Math Convention, and I really did get a 4 by 4 Rubik's Cube. (But I didn't solve it yet).**

**Also, AllyAnnSeville, if you want to do the show… you need to get familiar with the Docx feature (add me as a contact so we can exchange documents).**


	6. Guest Starring xAllyAnnSevillex, Part 1

(Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story).

Simon: Salutations, and thank you for watching another installment of Ask Simon. Today, xAllyAnneSevillex is guest-starring on this show, and you are welcome to ask her questions too.

xAllyAnneSevillex: And today, I invited a group of fangirls to ask you questions!

Fangirls: (Scream) It's Simon! Simon Seville!

Simon: (blushes) Well, I will answer their questions at the end of the show. In the meantime, we shall answer the first viewer question of the week!

**Awesomo3000 asks:**

**Hey, I have some questions for all of you! I wanted to review Chapter 4 & ask them to you, but my internet was down & by the time I finally wanted to ask you, you had already updated! Anyway...**

**Alvin - Simon says that you are a Transformers fan. Are you looking forward to Transformers 3 coming out? Who's your favourite Autobot/Decepticon? (Mine's Sideswipe!)**

**Do you agree that Justin Bieber is a loser?**

**Simon - Aside from Science & Maths, what other subjects do you like? Jeanette, same question.**

**Theodore - Have you asked Eleanor out on a date?**

**Brittany - Why do you and Alvin fight so much? You make a lovely couple!**

**Jeanette - What's your favourite video game?**

**Eleanor - What makes you so mad about cooking?**

**What makes you so adorable?**

**Please answer my questions! **

Simon: (smacks palm to his forehead) I guess I failed to get the message across: None of the other chipmunks are on air today. I guess I will have to call them – takes out his cell phone. Hello, Alvin?

Alvin: (the phone is put on speakerphone so the audience can hear) Did you have to wake me up at eight in the morning? I was up all night doing my show!

Simon: Awesomo3000 wants to ask you some questions. He is asking if you are looking forward to the next Transformers movie, and also what your favorite Autobot-slash-Decepticon is.

Alvin: (yawns) Hell, yeah. And as for my favorite Autobot or Decepticon... It's hard to decide…

Simon: Awesomo3000's favorite is Sideswipe.

Alvin: Yeah, Sideswipe's up there… now, let me go to… zzzzz….

Simon: Alvin? Alvin? Awesomo3000 also wants you to answer if you agree that Justin Bieber is a loser.

Alvin: Beeper? Heck yeah! Anybody over the age of 13 who likes him is a pedophile! No offense, Selena Gomez… He's 17 but with his voice and looks he could pass for a really tall 12 year old! Yeah, I know, I have a high voice too, but I'm a chipmunk! What's his excuse?

Simon: Thank you, Alvin. Now go back to bed until somebody else wants to ask you a question. (hangs up) As for my question, well, in addition to mathematics and the natural sciences, I enjoy history, literature, writing, social studies, music, art, theater, and foreign languages. Well, that's pretty much every subject except for physical education. Jeanette… I'm not going to bother her with a call this early in the morning, but I can tell you that her tastes are pretty much the same. Theodore… in fact, he has asked Eleanor out on a date since the show started… let me call him… hello, Theo?

Theodore: Huh? What? Good morning, Simon.

Simon: Sorry to wake you up so early, but the fans here want to know what your date with Eleanor was like.

Theodore: Oh, yummy! We went out to a Chinese buffet place. The food there was so good I even ate the meat! I ate so much, and then Eleanor kissed me! Her lips tasted like sweet and sour sauce mixed with walnut shrimp sauce – my favorite! Hmm, just talking about this makes me hungry… I think I'll go make myself some breakfast right now!

Simon: Thank you. Now, I guess I have to call Jeanette, as much as I hate waking my girlfriend up this early in the morning – hello, Jeanette?

Jeanette: Hello, Simon! I'm up this morning working on my research paper!

Simon: Good. I didn't want to wake you up. Anyway, a fan is asking you what your favorite video game is.

Jeanette: Hmm, hard decision… I do like the Pokemon series. I was particularly fond of the Ruby and Sapphire generation. I loved the pretty blue Sapphire version. I'd like to get Pokemon Black and White, but I'm too busy these days for those kinds of addicting video games…

Simon: Same here. Is Eleanor up?

Jeanette: Why, yes, she's fixing us pancakes right now.

Simon: I have some questions for her.

Jeanette: All right… (talks to Eleanor in the background)

Eleanor: Hello?

Simon: Sorry to bother you, a fan wants to know what makes you so mad about cooking.

Eleanor: Well, I always did the cooking, since Brittany was always too much of a diva to learn how, and Jeanette would always screw something up with her clumsiness and absentmindedness… But I really do enjoy it. Like Theodore, I am really fond of food, and it takes all the willpower I've got not to gobble everything in the house down. Also, it's a creative outlet for me that appeals to my practical nature.

Simon: Awesomo3000 also wants to know what makes you so adorable.

Eleanor: (giggles) Well, some say it's my blonde pigtails… or my chubby cheeks… or my shortness… or the way I dress…

Simon: Thank you. (hangs up) Okay, on to the next fan!

**The Chipette Protector asks:**

**Note: I wouldn't mind adding a Character or two: Melvin and Whitney, and maybe James Seville after them.**

**I liked the Show guys!**

**Got some more questions!**

**1. Britt - If Alvin turned evil what would u do?**

**2. Simon - have u dated other girls before?**

**3. All - What do you think your kids would be like?**

**And 4. Alvin & Brittany - What would u guys have the others do if u could hypnotize them?**

Simon: You would be better off saving the Alvin and Brittany questions for their own show, Alvin's Midnight Party House. Keep in mind, though, that it's off-limits to viewers under the age of 16. If you ask me, it should be off limits to viewers under the age of 21… Well, as for whether I've dated other girls before… I have, mostly during the time before I met Jeanette… (turns red) I remember Jillian… But there were times, after I met Jeanette, that my animal instincts got the better of me and I fell for the kind of girl that Alvin likes… But I'm mature enough now to control my crazy urgings for women that are only superficially sexy… as for our children, well, my children will most likely be like me and Jeanette, physically tall and slender, highly intelligent, perhaps naïve like Jeanette or practical like me… Alvin's and Brittany's progeny will probably be athletic and of medium height, with slightly above average intelligence, and extrovert personalities… Theodore and Eleanor's will most likely be short and stocky, either soft like Theo or tough like their mother, with fondness for food and average to slightly-below-average intelligence. It's possible, though, that some of our children might take more after their aunts or uncles than their parents… Okay, next viewer!

**Awesomo3000 asks:**

**Sorry, Simon, I forgot to ask you one of my questions for ChAPTER 6. Here it iz:**

**Are you interested in any superhero films, such as Megamind? I like that because of the comedy, action, & the cool scientific inventions! Please answer!**

Simon: Why, yes, superhero films with scientific inventions are my favorite! I also enjoy some degree of action and comedy, although, in my case, most of the humor is unintentional… (laughs) some of the "science" in these kinds of movies is sooo fake! And I love to make fun of how unrealistic these kinds of movies are… (tries to restrain his laughter) Okay, next post!

**The Acmemunks asks:**

**Hello Simon, Chipmunks and Chipettes here are three questions:**

**1. Brittany and Jeanette, I always think that the snakes you charmed in "The Chipmunk Adventure." worked with Harrison Ford in "Radiers Of The Lost Ark." if that's true, what was it like working with them? Did you have to do a few Retakes?**

**2. Simon, don't you feel guilty that Jeanette's not as popular as Brittany some what? Or is that just me?**

**3. Chipmunks, what was it like filming the "Wooly Bully." sequence in "The Chipmunk Adventure."?**

Simon: Well, Jeanette told me about those snakes… I think that's a question you should reserve for Brittany on Alvin's Midnight Party House. As for Jeanette's popularity, well, that cannot be helped, there are too many people out there who don't like us nerds, either because they're superficial or because they're jealous of our smarts… I always thought, though that Jeanette and I were perhaps the most popular with the fans, since most fans tend to be rather nerdy in some way, and that Theodore and Eleanor were the least popular, perhaps for their physical appearance, but I recently checked a poll on Facebook that asks which Chipmunk is your favorite, and I received the fewest votes. (frowns) And, since favorite Chipette correlates strongly with favorite Chipmunk, that means that Jeanette is most likely the least popular too. As for Wooly Bully, well, I was in mortal peril at that moment, but singing the song made it easy to forget that. Now on to the next viewer!

**Spring-Heel Jaqueline asks:**

**How is it that Jeanette and Irma from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles dress and [somewhat] look alike?**

**How the Chipettes did come to be at Grudge's orphanage? And what would happen if they ran into her and Eve again?**

**Has anyone ever wondered about the Chipettes' mother and/or father?**

**Whatever happened to the Chipmunks' father?**

**If Brittany and Alvin kissed in "Legend of the Sleeping Brittany" and Simon and Jeanette *supposedly* kissed in this so-called "Sploosh" episode, than why haven't Eleanor and Theodore kissed in the cartoons? Is it because Janice Karman is kissing herself unlike the aforementioned couples where Ross Bagdasarian Jr. (Alvin and Simon) kissed their respectable counterpart because his wife voices them? Or taking a step too far and saying it's like Janice Karmen kissing her late father-in-law Ross Bagdasarian Sr. (50's/60's Theodore)? Same goes for the CGI and their voice actors (Jesse McCartney & Amy Poehler and Janice Karman who sings for both).**

**Why is it in The Squeakquel, Jeanette is demoted to extra whereas the boys and her sisters all get ample screen time, whereas Jeanette seems to fall by the wayside, not to mention she's never seen without her sisters, even then she gets about five minutes of screen time that isn't singing? How come it seems that Jeanette always get the shaft?**

**What was it like eating Theodore's poop Simon?**

**How do you each physically describe incarnation of Dave Seville (50s/60s, 80s/90s and current)?**

**What is the name of Miss Miller's cat?**

**Any relationships to Chip and Dale with all the antics?**

**Did Huey, Dewey & Louie, the PowerPuff Girls, the good fairies in Disney's Sleeping Beauty as well as the ambiguous anthropomorphic characters in Animaniacs (although the oldest looking one wears beige slacks, his accent color is green) among others steal color tone clothes based on the primary colors based on light (red[pink], blue[purple] and green) or is it pure coincident?**

**After the [quaint] anti-drug video entitled "Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue," do you Chipmunks keep in touch with the other cartoon characters? Also, where were the Chipettes?**

**Speaking of crossover, why didn't either one appeared in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"**

**What other crossovers do each wish to do that hasn't happened? For example, I wanna read a Chip N' Dale Rescue Rangers crossover . . .**

**Since Theodore was turned into a werewolf and Alvin a psychotic weirdo or whatever Dr. Frankenstein turned him into, what related monster would Simon, Brittany, Eleanor and Jeanette turn into besides a werewolf and whatever Alvin was? How would you be cured?**

**If the Chipmunks were named after record executives (Alvin Bennett, Simon Waronker and Ted Keep), who were the Chipettes named after?**

**If the Chipettes first lived in the tree house, how were they able to afford living necessities such as beds as well as the equipment to build the tree house? Also, how were they able to enroll the same school as the Chipmunks? Did Brittany force Jeanette to hack into the school computer to enroll since parental figures are allowed to do such things?**

**How do you Chipmunks/Chipettes live so long when in reality, chipmunks don't liver for very long?**

**Where is Alvin's hat in the CGI/live action movies?**

**Chipettes, what are your opinions on the attire worn in the live action movies compared to the ones in the cartoons? Speaking of clothes, did either of you chipmunks ever wear pants under those oversize sweatshirts in "The Alvin Show" and "Alvin and The Chipmunks?"**

**What are your opinions on Clyde Crashcup (and Leonardo)?**

**What are your intake on voice comparison/contrast of the people (Ross Bagdasarian Sr. voicing all three chipmunks and Dave; Ross Bagdasarian Jr. voicing Dave, Alvin & Simon; Janice Karman doing Theodore and the Chipettes; Jason Lee-David Seville, Justin Long-Alvin, Matt Gray Gubler-Simon, Jesse McCartney-Theodore, Christina Applegate-Brittany, Anna Faris-Jeanette & Amy Poehler-Eleanor) who portrayed you? What are your opinions on them?**

**Who is Betty White and why do fans want her to play Miss Miller in the live action/CGI movie?**

**How would each of you describe the physical appearances and personality of each David Seville incarnation (50's/60's, 80's/90's and 00's)?**

**What is each of your opinion on mixed couples (Alvin&Jeanette, Alvin&Eleanor, Simon&Brittany, Simon&Eleanor, Theodore&Brittany and Theodore&Jeanette)? What about sibling incest?**

**Where were the Chipettes in "Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein?" Did Miss Miller forget them when she came over to watch the boys? Also, I thought both you Chipettes and Chipmunks lived right next to each other . . . not a block apart as seen in "Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet The Wolfman?"**

Simon: Whoa… a-a lot of questions here… and a lot of breaking the fourth wall as well. I've seen Irma, and she is an unabashed clone of Jeanette! I guess she was a fan… I'm going to need Jeanette on the line for this… (speed-dials Jeanette)

Jeanette: Hello?

Simon: Yes, I've got a fan who's asking a great deal of questions… Now, Jeanette, how did you come to live at Miss Grudge's orphanage?

Jeanette: Well, my first memory was of feeling very alone and lost, like my mother – or maybe it was my father – disappeared, and Olivia found me and brought me to the orphanage where she was living.

Simon: And if you ran into Miss Grudge or Eve again, what would you do?

Jeanette: I'd run!

Simon: I would too. Hey, have you ever wondered about your mother and father?

Jeanette: I have… I think I have a theory…

Simon: Well, as for my father, I have no idea what happened to him… Every time I ask my mother, she surreptitiously changes the subject. Okay, here's some nonsense about Theodore kissing himself if he kisses Eleanor… well, since Theodore is the least mature of us mentally speaking, it's only expected of him that he would be the last of us to kiss his lover. Oh, and I agree that Jeanette should have gotten more screen time in the Squeakquel. I suppose that the creators thought that, since she's the least popular outside the fanbase, that she should get the least screen time. Now I get it! Alvin and Brittany are the most popular with the general public, but Jeanette and I are the most popular with our cult following! Oh, and don't ask me about Theodore's poop. That wasn't me who did that, that was the CGI chipmunk who played me in the live-action movie. Although I'm sure it was nasty… Dave, Dave… he looked all right in the 50s and 60s, as far as pre-80s cartoons go, but I like him best in the 80s and 90s.

Jeanette: Yes, 80s Dave was hot!

Simon: Jeanette, are you feeling OK? You just called my adoptive father hot.

Jeanette: Well, he is. He's very handsome, even today at his age!

Simon: I agree, he has aged gracefully… So, anyway, what did Miss Miller name her cat?

Jeanette: Well, Fluffy's long dead by now… at least I think her name was Fluffy, sometimes she called the cat other names like Precious and Miss Kitty… I think that Miss Miller was very absent minded with regards to what her cat's name was.

Simon: Chip and Dale… Well, Dale's a lot like Alvin, except even lazier, Alvin comes up with far more grandiose ideas, and at least he actually tries to make his hare-brained schemes actually happen… Chip is kind of like me – very practical, but not nearly as intelligent. If you ask me, my brothers and I have a lot more personality than Chip and Dale… no offense to Chip and Dale, that's just the way generic Disney characters are… Huey, Dewey, and Louie… more generic Disney characters for you… they all have the same personality, but their outfits are obviously inspired by us! They wear sweaters and even caps like Alvin's! I think the Good Fairies were just a coincidence though, and the PowerPuff Girls as well… and I really don't see much of a comparison to the Animaniacs. Oh, and that drug video we did… I can't speak for Alvin, and I'm sure that Theo is still friends with a lot of them, but my answer is no. I find too many of those other cartoon characters to be too obnoxious. Especially Bugs Bunny and the other Looney Tunes. The Smurfs are all right, but Brainy Smurf is an obnoxious know-it-all who gives us nerds a bad name. I have nothing against the Muppet Babies, they're just, well, babies. And Garfield is too lazy to keep in contact, and it's hard to keep up with ALF, who now lives back in outer space, and the Ninja Turtles – well, Alvin likes them, enough said – and Winnie-the-Pooh – well, Theodore adores him. They sometimes engorge themselves with honey in the Hundred Acre Wood.

Jeanette: Us Chipettes were turned down for a role in that special.

Simon: Dave wouldn't allow us to star in Who Framed Roger Rabbit. He said it was too adult for us. As for crossovers, well, I'm glad that they finally made a Jimmy Neutron one – I wonder why no one thought of it before.

Jeanette: And also that they made a Swan Princess one. That's one of my favorite movies.

Simon: Hmm, Chip N' Dale crossover… I could help Gadget save the day! Or maybe they'll make it a SimonXGadget… ugh… it'll probably be the little chipmunks from the movie. Well, anyways, speaking of Jimmy Neutron, according to the latest polls for smartest character, I have received 5 votes, and Neutron has received none. Admittedly, it is a biased sample… Also, two people have voted instead for a… Kooky Von Koopa?

Jeanette: I would love to be in a crossover with him!

Simon: Yes, that would be a good crossover. Well, there are a few crossovers of us, but I would like to see more… What monster would I be? A vampire, of course, seems to be the popular choice… As for the Chipettes?

Jeanette: Brittany would be the Bride of Frankenstein, I would be a mummy, and Eleanor, since everything else is taken, would have to be a ghost.

Simon: You do get to dress up as a mummy, and my experiment did make Brit look like the Bride of Frankenstein.

Jeanette: Yeah, I remember.

Simon: What were you three named after anyway?

Jeanette: I don't know, I haven't been around my parents long enough to know that. It's quite coincidental that Eleanor and Theodore were both named after famous Roosevelts, however. But I'm certain that Brittany was not named after Britney Spears.

Simon: OK, so how did you afford what you needed in that tree house, and how did you enroll at the school?

Jeanette: Well, the house was abandoned when we found it, but richly furnished. I think that it was the private retreat of a chipmunk pop star or movie star. Well, Brittany did not want to go to school, but I forced her to, and we just pretended that our parents were too sick that day to personally enroll us.

Simon: Anthropomorphic chipmunks such as ourselves have life spans similar to those of humans. Although we develop more quickly in our youth; by the age of one, we are already mentally five years old by human standards, but our mental growth slows from then on until we reach age five, at which point we mentally age at the same rate as humans. Age five is also the point at which our physical growth spurt ends. By age seven or eight, we reach puberty, and at age ten or eleven we are full grown physically, although we are mentally still like human children. Well, Alvin does have a hat in the live-action movies, but he doesn't wear it much because he thinks it looks stupid on a CGI chipmunk. I think that Clyde Crashcup is a crackpot, although Leonardo is clever. The only notable thing Crashcup ever did was alter time to make everybody think that he invented the lightbulb, not Thomas Edison, which changed the name of our school. As for the people who voice us in the movie, well, although the original voices sound better, I must say that Justin Long does add some attitude to Alvin's voice that perfectly suits Alvin's personality. Matthew Gray Gubler, well, since he played the super smart Reid on Criminal Minds, he's a natural choice for me. I like the attitude of the new Simon; it's not quite the same as mine, though. And, although not as high-pitched as the old Theodore, I think Jesse McCartney does a good job at putting on a sweet, innocent voice for Theo. Applegate does a good job at making Brittany sound like a diva, although she does not act like much of a diva, and Anna Faris, who played another geeky character in Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, puts on a soft, shy voice that is perfect for Jeanette. And Amy Poehler has a warm, giggly voice that suits Eleanor, although it makes Eleanor seem more ditzy than she actually is. But Jason Lee does not look as handsome or sound as handsome as the original Dave that we know. As for Betty White – she is one of the oldest actresses and comedians still in business. I don't think she's the Miss Miller type, though – besides, she's too old for the role. As for mixed couples… (sighs) why don't you ask Alvin? If any of us would be interested in sibling incest, it would be him… Miss Miller did move quite a few times around the neighborhood while the Chipettes were growing up. During that time that we met Frankie, though, I think that the Chipettes were at camp.

xAllyAnnSevillex: Are you all right, Simon?

Simon: Yes, there were just too many questions, that's all. So I'm going to come in tomorrow for a special Sunday airing to answer the rest of the questions. Hope you enjoyed it, everybody! But please don't send me any more questions between today and Sunday.


	7. Guest Starring xAllyAnnSevillex, Part 2

(Disclaimer: I do not own anything I do not own anything I do not own anything…)

Simon: Thank you all for returning for our special Sunday viewing. I've still got plenty of questions to answer, including a couple new ones from yesterday. This first one is from Novanto:

**How is it that Jeanette and Irma from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles dress and [somewhat] look alike…**

Simon: Wait a minute… I answered all of these questions yesterday! That was very rude of you to copy Spring-Heel Jaqueline's questions, Novanto! Next question!

MunkGuy213 asks:

Hey Si it's me again onto the question why haven't the Chipettes appear in those strange drawing specials of guys like A Chipmunk Celebration, Trick or Treason, and The Easter Chipmunk. Dave's HUGE in there he's like 4 times the chipmunk's size! And do you know why the Chipettes keep changing clothes in every movie.

Simon: Well, I know that we have been introduced to the Chipettes prior to those events, because we didn't know our grandfather, whom we visited on Easter, or the rest of our family, who came to visit on Thanksgiving, until we met our mother, and we already knew the Chipettes by the time we met our mother, so I guess that they were having Thanksgiving with Miss Miller's family, and were trick-or-treating at some other neighborhood that Miss Miller took them to, and, well, perhaps busy with their own thing or going to church during Easter… And I didn't notice that Dave looked any larger than normal during those events; perhaps it was an odd filming technique? As for the Chipettes, well, being girls, they are more fashion-forward, particularly Brittany, which is why they always change their clothes. Next question!

Madeline2011 asks:

ok Alvin did you and your Brother have a hard time dealing with dealt with the death of Cookie Chomper III and do you all love your puppy Lily?

Simon what is your Favorite book to read at school or at home?

and Theodore what is your Favorite game to play with your Brother?

Simon: Yes, we were all crushed by Cookie… (sniffs) I sometimes cry about him at night. But we do love Lilly. I'm more of a cat person, but I love our dog just the same. My favorite book to read is the dictionary – or perhaps the thesaurus. Theodore… well, he likes to play checkers with me and Alvin because he thinks chess is too hard for him. I'm sorry that they're not here to answer your questions personally… they sleep in on Sunday more so than on Saturday. Next question from… No name. Hmmm…

**Ex- cuse me? She's sooo NOT being TOUCHY! You've gotta lot never, buster! She's got every right to be mad! Just because you're siblings doesn't give you the right to tease! That's an excuse jerks like you use! Teasing is a form of bulling. Think about this for a second, when you tease, do you feel any better about yourself in any way? Heck, yeah! Everyone does it, even though we know it's wrong! And when you tease someone, you're becoming a bully, even if the perosn you're bullying teased you first! Teasing is a form of bullying and bullying is wrong!**

**And I'll have you know that because I "teased" my sister growin' up, she refused to speak to me for years. But I was lucky because my sister is a beautiful, forgiving person and I almost lost her because I was a self centered JERK who decided I could take my siblings for granted! That's right! I was like you! And she was just trying to help you and make sure you don't go through the same road as me! My sister may have forgiven me, but who's to say Alvin's gonna forgive you! You might be palling around, "teasing" eachother thinking your having a good time until suddenly someone, Simon, says something he wishes he didn't. And for all we know, that one little thing, right there, could set someone else off! And right there, before you could even get a chance to say..."man, that's not exactly the nicest thing i could hace said," Alvin could decide to walk out of there and NEVER speak to you again...EVER... Just like my little sister did to me...**

**So excuse me for trying to help! Just remember these words of advise, Mr. Superstar! I don't care if you are the flipping president of the United States! You shouldn't take the ones you love for granted, you never how long there gonna be there for you! Anything can happen in this world! I mean, c'mon! And to get another thing straight, Kayla Shayla and Fiona have every right to be mad! Brothers and sisters are supposed to be there to support and comfort their siblings, NOT diss them on live TV and to be used as a punching bag! The ONLY nice things I've heard you say to Alvin was "You do have some of my intelligence. Your IQ is a fair bit beyond average, as a matter of fact", and that was only because Alvin showed you guys Kayla Shayla and Fiona's comments. **

**And, y'know, it really bugs me that you would call them "touchy"when all they wee trying to do is help you out! And if you ask me, Alvin was letting you off way too easily!**

**So before you go dissing people on LIVE TV again just remember that you'll never know who's feelings your gonna hurt! And you should be lucky to have brothers who put up with it! **

**P.S- the only reason why I'm only saying this to Simon is because Jeannette at least saw that she went out of line and apologied for it! At least Jeannette had the decency to truly and sincerely apologize**

Simon: (sighs and smacks hand to forehead) Not again… For crying out loud, would a jerk fight the studio director to give Alvin his own show, after he got kicked off the set for bad behavior, when he could much more easily lock him in a closet every Saturday morning? And for your information, I would have gotten to Kayla Shayla's and Fiona's comments Alvin or no Alvin, it just so happened that the tickle collar broke right when I had only their posts left! And, for the purpose of spontaneity, I don't read any of the posts until I'm airing the show! I am sorry about your little sister, but it's not like that between me and Alvin… At least you gave Jeanette credit where credit was due. Next question…

**Ashlee says:**

**Ex- cuse me? She's sooo NOT being TOUCHY! You've gotta lot never, buster…**

Simon: Not another repeat post… At least now I know your name's Ashlee… Next question:

**Ashley says:**

**Ex- cuse me? She's sooo NOT being TOUCHY! How cldare you even say that to her?You've gotta lot never…**

Simon: (groans) So it's Ashley with a "y" this time… learn to spell your own name, if you don't mind… Was a third post really necessary? Oh, look, you added an addendum…

**P.S.S- My brother brought this up to me! You've said nothing but rude comments to Alvin, tearing him down and insulting him both to his face and behind his back, but you haven't said a single mean thing about THEODORE! Not that I'd want you to or anything... But it's kind of funny the way that works. Come to think of it, you almost never tease or make fun of Theodore! Again, not that I'd want you to do that. I don't know, I just found that weird...**

**P.S.S.S Like Kayla Shayla said before, "It all comes back to the Golden Rule, I bet you don't like it when Alvin or Brittany make fun of you, do you?" so why would you do it to them? And like Kayla Shayla said before, you probably don't give a rat's behind about me or what I have to say, and neither does anyone else here? Either that or people have a problem with Alvin and Brittany, but just know that it's not right and you know it! Your nothing but a bully how thinks it's funny to make fun of his brother on freaking LIVE TV! Your what my brother calls a "Punk-no-good- Nick", or in your case, "Munk-no-good- Nick!" I don't care what you say! All that balogna- sausage or (bull shickaka or whatever you people say) you said about "siblings are supposed to fight!" That's wrong and you know it! So knock it off, will yah! For Gosh sakes! You may think your the funniest munk in the world but it's REALLY not funny!**

Simon: Well, the reason I don't make fun of Theodore is that he doesn't do crazy-stupid things like Alvin does, plus, he's far more sensitive. Nothing weird about that… And if I didn't give a rat's behind about what you have to say, I would have blocked you from posting. And I don't know if you ever watch standup comedy, but that's all the comedians do is make fun of people on live TV! And their roasting sessions make my jibes against Alvin look like compliments! Not that this is supposed to be a standup comedy show or anything; in fact, this show is supposed to be mostly educational and informative, but between Alvin always interrupting my show and the fans asking me questions about him, it's rather difficult to avoid the subject… And to tell you the truth, I don't really care if Alvin and Brittany make fun of me on live TV. I'm mature enough now to handle it; after all, it's not sticks or stones. Alvin has my full permission to roast me on "Alvin's Midnight Party House For Mature Viewers" if his fans so desire him to. And from now on, if you've got a question about Alvin, viewers, I'd rather you asked Alvin himself on his own show. Next question:

**You called me "Touchy"? You've got 'to be kidding me! What's your problem? Why would you say that me an Fiona are being "touchy"? Because we're not! And Ashley's right, you've got a lot of nerve, mister! I dont know how many times Dave has to tell you to think about what you say before you say it, but he's obviously doesnt say it enough! The things you say can hurt people , just like a sword! I don't know how many times you have to hear it before it gets throught your head!**

**We were just telling you that we thought it was wrong of you guys to pick on your siblings on live TV, and you have the gaul to call us "touchy"? I bet you didn't even read those comments, from me or Fiona, did you? No wait, I can answer that question! NO! You didn't even care to read it until Alvin showed it to you!**

**(BTW- thanks Alvin for showing Simon and Jeannette) And do you know how I know you didn't read the comments? Because you kept teasing throughout the whole show! Which reminds me, I don't think you even bothered to answer my question. **

**Q: "I bet you don't like it when Alvin or Brittany make fun of you, do you? No! So my question is, why are you doing it to them?" **

**You just went right a head and started calling us "Touchy" and said that what we were saying wasn't true! You didn't even take the time to think about what we had to say or answer my question for that matter. I bet if we hadn't had said anything, you'd have kept your little "teasing" game going! **

**Well, what we were saying is so true! You guys tease your siblings to feel better about yourselves. "Oh, Alvin's such a pain in the butt, sometimes I wish I could send him to Mars so he can suffocate!" and "Brittany is so annoying, she's such a bimbo!" that crud is hurtful, man. And it may not look like it, but I'm sure Alvin and Brittany don't like hearing that kind of thing. Sure, their laughing on the outside, but deep down inside, it hurts to hear that their siblings really think that about them. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like hearing "Oh, my brother, Simon is a waste in space, if I could send him anywhere, I'd send him to the flipping moon where he'd suffocate!" or "Oh my sister Jeannette is so dumb! She's a Teacher's pet, too. I swear, she can't go two minutes without sucking up to teachers," yeah, not so funny when it's you, is it? Open your eyes and look through your glasses, guys! Thats why your parents got them for you, isn't it? That's pretty much the kind of stuff you say to them! And BTW, if Dave were watching this, seeing you pick on your brother like this, I'm sure he'd be very disapointed. Same thing to you, Jeannette, if Miss Miller was watching. I mean, come on now! Get real! If you think for one minute that you picking on Alvin is making you the super cool dude or calling Brittany names is making you the totally popular girl you think your being, it's not, it's making you both look like jerks! And you don't need much help in that department, if you ask me!**

**Think about this for a second. Lots of people watch your show. And when you talk smack about your siblings like this, people going to listen to you thinking "hey this right here, this is the smart one talking, so (s)he MUST know what (s)he's talking about!" So eventually, people are going to think, "Hm, the smart one is saying that Alvin is super annoying, hm, I think I'm going to stop liking Alvin because it seems that Simon says that if he had to chose between keeping Alvin here or sending him to mars, he'd send Alvin to Mars!" or "Hm, Jeannette said Brittany's a bimbo, and that means Brittany is stupid! We don't want to admire someone who's stupid, hm... I know, let's stop liking Brittany because she's stupid!" Now is the what you want to happen?**

**You guys are some real jerks, you know that? I used to really look up to you guys! Because when i was little, I was the little smart alick kid that was always sucked into my siblings plans and schemes. However, before this show, you taught me that no matter what trouble my brother or sister got me in, siblings are supposed to look out for eachother. But I can see that all that was a big, heaping pile of crud, was it not? You didn't mean a single word of that! I used to be able to relate to you, but not anymore! Because now, seeing how you guys really treat your siblings, I wouldn't even spit in your direction!**

**Just want to get another point across to SIMON. Remember in the Squeakquel? Do you remember how sad you were when Alvin let the jocks pick on you and throw you in the trash? That was a very bad time for you, wasn't it? And after all that, you still forgave Alvin? But you hated the way Alvin wasn't there for you, didn't you?Now keep those feelings you felt and put yourself in Alvin's shoes. Do you think he appreciates being pick on? Or not being able to speak out because his brother is too busy making fun of him?So my question to you is, "Why are you doing it to him?"**

**Don't think that I'm just taking Alvin's side! I can see that sometimes Alvin provokes you, but bullying is bullying, even if someone else starts it! Try taking your own advice for once Mr. "Turn The Other Cheek"! **

**You know what ticked me off the most? Was that while I was telling you off, a nice person decided to tell you calmly what she thought. She explained to you that you were being really mean and she wanted it to stop. She reached out to you in forgiveness, compassion and mercy, she even said she wasn't made at you. And you just stabbed her in the back! You called her touchy, right after she told you that she wasn't mad at you! **

**You probably don't care if you lose a fan here. It's just one little fan, right? But just know that you lost me, I'm pretty sure you lost Ashley... I'm not really sure about Fiona, though. I'm not sure if she's willing to forgive you after what you just did to her... So just know that right now, I'm done... But again, you probably don't give a rat's behind, do you?**

Simon: (sighs) As I said before, my show was never meant to be a comedy show. I wanted my show to be educational and informative. Perhaps with some humor, but not in a mean-spirited way. I didn't see it as mean-spirited, which is why I felt that you were "touchy". Now, I'm trying to interpret my feelings here… I guess that I got so mad at Alvin for ruining my show that it brought out the ugly side to my nature. I'm over it now, I even gave Alvin his own show so people can ask him the humorous questions and ask me the educational and informative questions, but you guys don't seem to be over it… And it really matters to me how my fans feel. I want to be a role model. I don't want people to think that I'm a bully or a jerk, because I'm really not. I don't need to make fun of others to feel better about myself, because I generally feel quite good about myself. Well, not now… I'm glad Jeanette isn't around to see this, you didn't give her credit for apologizing! OK, no need to break down on live TV… Next question:

BoredStupid asks:

**Hey, Simon!**

**I would like to say that I find your show to be quite entertaining, despite what Alvin says. Now, I realize that because you only have a short time, I will limit my questions. Here they are as follows:**

**Simon, why do you always go along with Alvin's crazy schemes? Why don't you try to stop him before it's too late? **

**Alvin, what was your reaction to Michael Jackson's death?**

**Theodore, what was the most delicious dessert you've ever tasted?**

**Brittany, do you get compared to Britney Spears at all? If so, who do people say is the better, more talented pop star? **

**Jeanette, have you ever had a crush on anyone besides Simon?**

**Eleanor, would you like Theodore to be bolder and stronger, or do you like him the way he is?**

**Thanks! (And by the way, a shout out to Theodore! I'm one of your biggest fans!)**

**-Michelle**

Simon: Well, I can't answer for anybody but myself, but I'll try to have the others back on the show one day so that they can answer. You can ask Alvin and Brittany on their own show. As for Alvin's crazy schemes, well, he'll never let me hear the end of it if he doesn't get to do his scheme, and, like I said in an earlier airing of this show, allowing him to enact his scheme, only for it to fail, is a better learning experience for him. I hope Theodore watches this later, because he could use the morale booster of a shout-out! Next question – oh, God, not Kayla Shayla again…

**Hey, man, what's your problem? Why would you say that me an Fiona are being "touchy"? Because we're not! And Ashley's right, you've got a lot of nerve, mister…**

Simon: Well, I knew that it was you from the start, Kayla Shayla. No need to repost it… Next question:

**Chipmunkfanantic asks:**

**Hey simon since this is my first time I got a question for you **

**What do you know about quantum physics and time travel and even Temporal Physics? im Just curious**

Simon: Now this is the type of question I like to receive! I know quite a lot, actually. I studied out of college-level textbooks I got out of the library when I was a kid. I had a college-level understanding of the subject matter by the time I was in kindergarten, although I had terrible self-esteem, and I was not quite that advanced in other subjects. But I did, somehow, win the spelling bee… Anyways, I had a post-doctorate level of understanding by the time I was eight years old. (blushes) Not to be boastful, but you wanted to know… Next question!

**Genicise1275 asks:**

**Hey Simon this is my first question,**

**"Being the middle child in the Seville household, does it feel like you aren't getting as much attention as Alvin and Theodore?" I'm just curious to see if Middle Child Syndrome is true in this case it sure as hell is for me and my own family.**

Simon: Well, Alvin gets a lot of attention due to his… antics… and Theodore needs extra help with a lot of things, which is why, despite my accomplishments, I receive less attention than them – I don't need as much attention, or rather, supervision. Watch the episode "Good Old Simon" on Youtube.

**Eleanor Miller asks:**

**Dear Kayla Shayla, Fiona, and Ashley,**

**I have noticed that you have not been pleased with Simon and Jeanette's behavior toward their older siblings. I just wanted to let you know that both Simon and Jeanette…**

Simon: (grunts) Eleanor! I can fight my own battles, thank you very much! Next question!

**UniqueRosa Damascena asks:**

**When filming Batmunk was it awkward how Jeanette didn't get the part of Nicki Nale and Brittany did. Even though Jeanette's already the one wearing glasses and your crush/girlfriend.**

Simon: Yes, very awkward. It's very frustrating when your girlfriend is getting cut out of all the roles opposite you. Brittany sure has a way with the casting directors… Either that, or they are conspiring against Jeanette, thinking that she would make the movie less popular… then again, they used her instead of Brittany to star as the girlfriend of Chip Tracy, a character played by Alvin! Perhaps they're conspiring against _us!_ Perhaps one of the reasons why our movie spoofing endeavors flopped! Next question!

**Tiana Koopa asks:**

**Simon: (my friend's question) which video game character would you like to meet?**

Simon: Without a doubt, Ludwig/Kooky Von Koopa! He shares a lot of my scientific and musical interests. He's evil, though, but perhaps I can cure that… Does anyone smell fanfic? Next question:

**Dear Eleanore,**

**Not to be mean or anything, but why should we have to apologize? We shouldn't have to apologize for standing up for what we believe in! And if your mad at us, please don't be mad at Fiona or Ashley, okay? They shouldn't have to apologies for anything! Fiona was just standing up for me and Ashley was just standing up for both of us and showed us what Simon said. I wasn't planning on ever reading that "Ask Simon" thing ever again until I read Fiona and Ashley's comments. I honestly thought that Ashley was over exaggerating when she said that Simon called me and Fiona "touchy" because if you read the comment, she seemed pretty mad! I thought for sure that after my comment, they'd at least get the message that some of us wanted the dissing the stop. So checked Chapter Five! I saw that not only had they not stop picking on Alvin and Brittany, but they hadn't shown mine and Fiona's comments until the end and Ashley had been right, Simon had called us "touchy"! There it was, in black and white! And you know what, that hurt, hurt like a Ton of Bricks! So, don't get mad at Fiona and Ashley, ok! I was the one who brought it up! And I'm NOT going to apologies for it! I refuse to apologize for standing up for what I think is right! **

**And just because Simon and Jeanette…**

Simon: Audience really doesn't need to hear that!

**So if you thought that I was going to feel sorry for Simon and Jeannette and apologize, I'm not. I've done nothing wrong! I was just expressing my opinon and feelings, and if that's wrong, I don't want to be right! No one else was going to say anything, that is, except the very nice girls who helped me! Everyone else gets there sick kicks from watching someone get pick on!**

**And right now, my opinion hasn't changed about Simon and Jeanette. Those guys are still jerks. Except now, …**

Simon: Or that…

**And i'm sure that if you were the one being picked on, you wouldn't take it sitting down either! You'd stand up and fight for yourself, wouldn't you? Heck, yeah! So why are you yelling at me for doing it!**

**As a Friend of Rachel (the awesome girl who was shot while trying to change the world), it's my responsibility to stand up for myself and others! **

**So if you want to support the bullies and encourage them even more, than go ahead, I'm not stopping you! But I'm not going to apologize for anything! Standing up for what you believe in is not wrong, and I refuse to apologize for it! **

**-Kayla Shayla**

Simon: Well, that was very rude to the rest of the fans to imply that they're sick for enjoying this show, and very rude to Jeanette for calling her a jerk even after she apologized, but other than that, I respect that you've got the courage to stand up for what you believe in, however, um, (whispers to xAllyAnnSevillex)

xAllyAnnSevillex: No, it would not be polite to call her that.

Simon: Ok, then. Now I've got a question for you: Who was this Rachel girl? And what did she do to try to change the world? Just curious. Here's another comment from Eleanor Miller:

**Dear Kayla Shayla,**

**That's good that you stand up for what you believe in. Just the same, Simon stands up for what he believes in, and he is not going to change the way he runs the show just because a few people do not like it. As I said… **

Simon: (sighs) My reviews section is not to be used as a messaging board! Next post, Eleanor again:

**P.S. If you want to watch Alvin's show it's called Alvin's Midnight Party House for Adult Viewers and it's M-rated. I'm warning you, though, it can get pretty disgusting!**

Simon: Yes, it can. I've seen what Alvin was doing, and, well, let's just say that it's not something I condone doing on TV, especially at HIS AGE. Next question, from Ashley again:

**Dear Eleanore,**

**Okay, dont hate me, i mean this is none of my but you're really confusing me right now! I really don't see what Kayla Shayla, Fiona and I did wrong! **

**you said that Simon and Jeanette suffer from…**

Simon: Heheh, what do you mean that we're suffering? We're fine!

**that much I understand, and I'm sorry they have to go through that. And yeah, we may have said somethings that were alittle, shall we say, unkind, but we're mad! And that's the only way seem to be able to get point out around here! I mean, Fiona did ask nicely if thy could be nice, but they didn't listen. Qnd besides, this isnt About me and fiona And kayla shayla, this is about you and your family! I think the real reason yu don't try to help is because you don't want to get involved or you don't want to hurt their feelings. They maybe sensitive, but I'm sure if you sat their and talked it out with Dave and ms. Miller, I'm sure you could work something out, right? I mean let's face it, giving Alvin own tv show wasn't exactly the best idea, and all that's gonna do is make more of this sibling rivalry! So alll I'm asking here is that you talk it out with everyone, because I don't know about you, but I'm sick of this! I'm sick of all of this! The fihtig between brothers and sisters, the trash talking to faces behind backs and to faces! This isn't what a family is!**

Simon: Well, I personally think that Alvin getting his own TV series, for reasons I mentioned earlier, is a good idea. Unless he gets angry that he's not getting as many posts as I am, but I believe that he's catching up with me, so he shouldn't start anything… Anyway, from what I've seen on the show, he doesn't make fun of me so much as sing dirty songs and screw around with Brittany. I thought that Alvin needed his own niche. He does the lewd comedy, and I educate people. No reason for sibling rivalry. Ok, that's it for the posts! xAllyAnneSevillex, thank you for waiting patiently through the entire show, and I'm sorry that you didn't get much action. Now I can answer your fangirl friends' questions! I'm afraid I don't have time to answer more than one, though…

xAllyAnnSevillex: That's ok.

Fangirls: (screaming and jumping) Pick me! Pick me!

xAllyAnnSevillex: I pick you, Tori!

Tori: (screams) Omigod omigod, I get to ask Simon a question on live TV! WEEHEE! Ok, ok, SImie-WImie, just wanted to ask you this: If you had one song that you relate to or represents you the most, what would it be?

Simon: Well, that's um, quite a hard question. It's hard to find songs these days that I relate to. If you ask most people, I was the inspiration for White 'N Nerdy, but that's not even a real song, it's a parody, and I'm not crazy about rap anyway. Well, I think I can relate to Oingo Boingo's "Weird Science", but I can't hear the lyrics well enough to know for sure… And you can definitely say that Jeanette "Blinded Me With Science", and then there's "Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades", but you've got to take out the message about nuclear catastrophe… Well, that's all the time I've got for this week! And remember, I'm going to be doing the show alone next week, so don't ask my siblings any questions! Save your Alvin and Brittany questions for Alvin and Brittany's show, and I will have Theodore, Eleanor and Jeanette come on the show some time later to answer your questions about them.


	8. Surprise Visitors

(Disclaimer: CosmicKitten89 only sponsors this show, she does not own any of the characters. Ross Bagdasarian Jr. and Janice Karman own the Chipmunks and Chipettes, and The Chipette Protector owns the Darkmunks and Darkettes.)

Simon: Good morning beloved fans! And welcome to another installment of Ask Simon! We're airing this a little later than usual, because I had a request from a fan to be on the show, and he requested that I have Jeanette, Theodore, and Eleanor on the show, and it took me a while to get them ready…

(Suddenly a large crashing noise comes from behind the set and six Chipmunks who look just like the Chipmunks and Chipettes run in)

Melvin: Were taking over the party here! (Begins to laugh evilly) Eloise turn those chipmunks to stone while we answer some of these humans' questions.

Eloise: Yea! I get to use my powers! (Runs up to Theodore and Eleanor, and turns them to stone)

Whitney: We should probably introduce ourselves, so that the audience knows who we are.

Melvin: Right. I am Melvin, Alvin Seville's Dark Counterpart, The Leader of the Darkmunks, destroyer of worlds, crusher of...

Seymour: We should keep it Simple Mel.

Melvin: Oh, okay.

Seymour: I am Seymour, Simon Seville's Dark Counterpart, and also a Vampire. (He adjusts his glasses, and reveals his vampire fangs)

Theao: I am Theao, Theodore's Dark Counterpart.

Whitney: I am Whitney, I am Brittany's Dark Counterpart, and the Leader of the Darkettes, even though some people have said that I am actually better than my acclaimed "Good Counterpart".

Melvin: People have said that about me too, and were supposed to be their Evil Counterparts!

Joelle: Excuse me, but I'm next. I am Joelle, Jeanette's Dark Counterpart, And I will warn all of you, I have the power to suck away all of your heat, so don't mess with me!

Seymour: I love Heat Vampires.

Joelle: There's only one, me.

Seymour: That's why I love them so much.

Joelle: You're so sweet.

Seymour: Thank you.

Eloise: And I'm Eloise! I'm... uh...

Joelle: (whispers) Eleanor's Dark Counterpart.

Eloise: Oh yea! Eleanor's Dark Counterpart!

Seymour: We will be answering your questions then we will destroy your world and take it over!

On to the first Question!

Melvin: I'm reading!

This is from ChipetteGirl10... Who's that?

Seymour: it's someone's username.

Melvin: Oh, because I was going to say that the mother of that kid needs to get a name dictionary.

Okay, she says:

**Hey Simon!**

**Ignore the hate comments! (If you don't have anything nice to say or post, don't! This isn't a show where you flame Simon!)**

**Okay, so...oh yeah!**

**Since you said you will have Theo, Ellie, and Jean with you, there are four questions.**

**Simon: How many times has Dave yelled "AAAAAALLLLLVIIIIIIN!" in one day (being the brainy one I'm sure you would count)?**

**Jeanette: William Shakespeare or Mark Twain?**

**Eleanor: What's your favorite soccer team?**

**Theodore: What is your favorite type of cake?**

Seymour: Actually, I usually don't get hate comments because anyone who does say something bad about me or Joelle, usually finds out what it's like to be bit by a vampire and have all their blood sucked away. That's also why we never have any critics. (Evil laugh) Thats only a thing that 'Good' Dave would do, the Dave that takes care of us is carefree and lets us do whatever we want. Which is why we currently rule the world in our World.

Joelle: I haven't read any Literature scene I turned evil, but when I was Jeanette, I would like Mark Twain better.

Eloise: Soccer? Theao what's Soccer?

Theao: Soccer is a sport that the Humans play were they kick a ball around into certain places to score points.

Eloise: I don't get it...

Melvin: On to the Next Question!

Theao: Devil Cake and Cheesecake.

(Everyone looks at him strangely)

Theao: Just because I'm evil doesn't mean that I don't like food anymore.

(Eloise nods in agreement.)

Whitney: I'm reading this one! It's from Kayla Shayla.

**Dear Simon,**

**In chapter 7 see me and Eleanor writing back and forth to each other. And at the end I told you that" as a Friend of Rachel," and I only gave you a small glimpse of who she was. After which, you politely asked me who Rachel was. So, here's my answer... **

**Rachel Scott was her name. Rachel was a girl who believed that with just the right amount of kindness and a chain reaction, you could change the world. However, Rachel went to school at columbine high, where at the time there was a bully problem. And she thought that wih the kindness she spread and a chain reaction, she could put and end to it. So that's what she did, she kept a journal and talked to her friends about it. She tried very hard to make sure everyone was happy. Why, she even saved many kids from suicide! **

**However, there were a few kids that thought a chain reaction wasn't going to cut it. There were two boys in fact that were fed up with being bullied! And they decided that the best way to deal with their anger and sadness was to go to school and start a shooting! so on April 20th, the shooting at Columbine High School took place... Unfortunately, Rachel was one of the first victims. **

**The boys went around the school and shot! When they were all done, they went to the library and blew it up!**

**Students reunited with families... Some, sadly mourned the loss of loved ones. Many were sad to find that Rachel was gone. Some were so sad that they decided that they were going to follow Rachel and her challenges. These were her challenges:**

**1. Eliminate Prejudice by looking for the best in others.**

**2. Dare to Dream, write down your goals and keep a journal.**

**3. Choose Your Influences, input determines output**

**4. Kind Words, small acts of kindness = BIG impact.**

**5. Start a chain reaction with family & friends.**

**I guess that's why I got so mad at you when you picked on Alvin and when Jeannette picked on Brittany. I just didn't want anyone to get so fed up with being picked on to think that to deal with the anger is to take a gun and start shooting! That must be why said"You never how long there gonna be there for you! Anything can happen in this world!" Anything can happen, that's why you should treat everyone like it's their last day on Earth. I'm pretty sure if anything happened to Alvin and you had said something horrible to him, you'd regret it for the rest your life! That's why I tried to tell you to not pick on him. So please understand that I wasn't posting those comments to make you mad or sad or feel bad. I was just mad! Ok? You just didn't listen to me and then you called us touchy and I got even more mad... **

**I guess I could have been more sensitive about your... You know... But c'mon! I was mad! No ones ever sensitive when their mad! So I'm sorry, but please try to be nicer to people! Remember this story the next time you think about making fun of someone. **

**Now again, I promise you, I'm not trying to be mean, i just want you to understand.**

**Well, I guess that's all I wanted to say, for now**

**So Thank you for lending me your ears and listening. It's really appreciate it**

**Kayla Shayla **

Melvin: Good thing I'm evil. Being good sounds like too much work and so Boring!

Seymour: I agree. And for all other mortals out there that wish to continue with this female, me and Joelle will find you and then I hope that you enjoy my fangs. Because that's what you will feel once we find you!

Whitney: Why do mortals keep on trying to be good? I will never understand humans. (Sighs)

Eloise: I want to read this one from Munk19!

Sorry, I forgot to ask these question...this is for Ch. 7...

Theodore: What is your favorite band/singer?

Jeanette: What is your most unforgettable memory?

Eleanor: What do you like most about Theodore?

Simon: First, I want to apologize for getting involved with the whole "flaming" thing. I was not flaming you, I would never flame anyone. However, I still am sorry for bringing up the topic. It won't happen again.

My question for you Simon is...What is your opinion on 2012? (not the movie lol) I am very interested on your opinion. :) ...oh and if the others want to answer too...that is cool with me.

Thanks and keep up the good work! The show is really entertaining...just like Alvins...only educational...lol :)

Theao: ME! I sing about half of our Band's songs! Well, thats partly because of a little accident that happened to Seymour...

Melvin: Thats enough Theao! The mortals will learn about the accident when it's time!

Theao: Yes Master Melvin.

Joelle: When Seymour had died, before he was evil, he tried to stop Melvin and Theao and bring them back as good, but instead someone stabbed him in the chest... He died in my arms... I cried in my room for a week, and refused to see my sisters or eat during that time. I eventually ran away decided to go evil after that.

Eloise: But if Seymour died then how can Seymour be standing right there?

Joelle: It's hard to understand, but he is not a ghost. I'm only saying that.

Eloise: Theodore? I like Theao though.

Theao: She mean't me.

Eloise: Oh! I love nearly everything about him! How he protects me, stands up for me, how we cook together...

Whitney: Uh, Eloise, we only have a limited amount of time here.

Eloise: Oh, well thats just some of the things I like about him.

Seymour: 2012... I believe that you mortals claim that the end of the world will happen then, *sigh* You mortals never learn, We are the destruction of the world. The sooner you fools learn that and surrender to us, the less of you fools we have to waste our powers on, but please try to save your pitiful world, I enjoy making humans suffer, and making their friends into vampires and making those vampires attack the other humans as well. But if you want to believe that the end of the world will truly happen then, why should I say anything else.

Anyway, 2012 is a myth, and nothing different will happen then. Only fools believe that they can place a date on when the end of the world will happen.

Theao: I'm reading this one from Sammy

**Yeah, Simon, don't sweat it, okay? You're doing fine! Sure, there was like, what, two or three things you said that were uncalled for, that's it, right? but other than that, your doing ok! Nothing a little help won't fix! **

**That Kayla Shayla chick mentions ten times that "Golden Rule" Bull Snap! I'm pretty sure she doesn't mean a word of what she's writing down! She's just saying that to put you down! Same thing for those other dumb broads!**

**So just keep doing what your doing alright! Your doing fine! **

**So my questions are: **

**what's with the review going back and forth from Kayla shayla, Fiona and Ashley to Eleanore? What was that all about? **

**And why was Kayla Shayla talking about Rachel's Challenge? **

**And why do you get so defensive when you see her reviews? Are you mad at them or something?**

**Do you even know them?**

**I'm sorry about all of this, it's just that I get really confused. You could be reading a question about, let's say, batmunk, and then ibsee the name Kayla Shayla or Ashley or even Fiona yelling at you and then you you yell at them and then you seem angry because you cut out some of their review? So what's up with that? Have you got something against them? I'm only mad at them for flaming you and stuff. **

**So Whats with the war between you and them?**

**So, who is she to you? Do you not like them or something? Are you mad at them or what?**

Seymour: They are a group of fools that believe that complaining about something that my good counterpart has said… Honestly, I can not wait to corrupt this world and take over it. So then fools like those 'girls' will be nothing but my servants, or maybe I'll have Eloise turn them to stone, that sounds more fun. (gives an evil grin once again revealing his fangs) I guess I'm reading this one from Brenda:

**Okay, that one Kayla Shayla chick may be a little bit mean, or angry on the outside, but at least she had the strength, courgage, and bravery to stand up for what she thought was right! And since she didn't think her point was getting across, she told that story about Rachel Scott, that was a sad story! :( I cried when I heard that sweet girl had been shot! She was so awesome! All she wanted was to make the world a better place and she was killed! Now that's not fair, is it? Now, with the story of Rachel's challenge was a message! It was, "Treat others like it was their last day on Earth, because you'll never no how long that person is going to be there to give you a second chance," that's what Kayla Shayla was trying to tell us all along! I'm sure she didn't mean to flame Simon, she was just trying to follow in Rachel's footsteps, and try to make the world a better place for everyone! And that was awfully nice of Kayla Shayla, now wasn't it? She didn't have to tell you the story, after all, she was pretty mad! But she told you it anyway! I'm sure it was very hard for her to retell that story for you. And it's a true story, too!**

**I remember it being on the news. That's why she got so mad when you called those young ladies "touchy" and picked on Alvin. It's a really touching story and it really stops and makes you think, does it not? However, just so you don't get confused she left out a mistake. For one, I recall her saying the following:**

**"That must be why said 'You never how long there gonna be there for you! Anything can happen in this world! Well do you see that space between the words "why" and "said"? Well, if I remember correctly, one of the girls, Ashley, said that. Now, I sat there for a while, reading that review over and over again, just trying to make sense of this. I was thinking, "That REALLY doesn't make any sense,"**

**Now I know when you're typing on the computer, how those fingers fly every time a good idea pops into your head. I've been there before, I type stories up for my little sister all the time! But please, read over your reviews before you send them! I'm sure Simon has a hard enough trying to understand what you're trying to say, and it gets even harder when sentences don't make sense. Just wanted to get that out there.**

**Thanks! :)**

**Anyways, onto my questions:**

**1.) What do you think about Rachel's challenge? Are you going to become a Friend of Rachel and join the F.O.R club? **

**2.) In some of the old Alvin and the Chipmunks cartoons, you're shown being chased by fans, did you like that, or did you find it annoying? Explain!**

**3.) I've noticed that you've taken the flames you get very well! Good for you, buddy! Well if I ever think about becoming an author, or even an artist, I've gotta know, how do you do it? How do you handle flames?**

**3.) I'm confused, in the old cartoon, you guys were like 8 or 9! In the 2007 ALVIN and the CHIPMUNKS, I thought you were at least, a few weeks old. And now suddenly you're in high school! How'd that happen? So... Um exactly... How old are you?**

**4.) How old is Dave?**

**5.) This is kind of a silly question, but, um, do you listen to your own music, or watch yourself on tv or in the movies?**

**6.) What was it like working with Frankenstein and the Wolf-man?**

**7.) So what was with your guys' obsession with Toaster Waffles? and Cheeseballs? There's been lots of talk about it! Lol!**

**8.) Do you hangout with Ross Bagdasarian and Janice Karman? Do a lot of people have troble saying his name? How long did it take you to be able to pronounce his name without messing up? Lol!**

**9.) Do you consider yourself popular?**

**10.) Do a lot of people freak out when they see you? (and not the good kind of freak out! The "OMG! A talking CHIPMUNK!")**

**11.) How many different language do you speak? (No, English doesn't count! Lol!)**

**12.) Are you happy Kayla Shayla apologized? I mean, she seemed really upset! It must have taken a LOT of thought to get her to back down!**

**13.) Do you guys have middle names? I'm sorry, it just kind of just occured to me. When ever Dave got mad at you guys, he would yell, "SIMON!" or "THEODORE" or "ALVIN!", but when ever my mom got mad at me, she'd yell, "BRENDA HOPE!" So I always wondered that.**

**Well, that about does it, I'm really sorry about my stupid questions! I just got curious! Please answer them truthfully and in the best way you can!**

**Thanks for listening! **

Seymour: No. How many times do I have to explain to you mortals that I am evil, It was probably my or my brothers or the Darkettes fault that she died! Why would I care if some mortal died? I always enjoyed fans that went crazy. But others don't, like Joelle. Joelle: I hate it so much, And people wonder why they find our fans frozen solid. Melvin: Personally, I love it! They didn't even know that we were using secret mind con-

Seymour: Melvin! Don't tell them that! Then they won't listen and we won't be able to complete our plans!

Joelle: Yea Melvin! You can be so foolish at times!

Melvin: You want to try me Joelle?

Joelle: Please I have complete control over my powers! I can beat you easily.

Melvin: Over my dead body!

Joelle: That can be arranged. (grins evilly)

(Whitney pulls Melvin back while Seymour does the same to Joelle.)

Seymour: We don't have time for arguments among ourselves.

Joelle: You're right Seymour.

Seymour: Anyway, back to the questions, I believe we were on question 3. I make those people 'disappear' (Begins a Dark laugh)

On your fourth question; That's because what you call the 'Cartoon' and 'Movies' are from different worlds. What happened in the '2007 movie' didn't happen in the 'Cartoon' World. The '80's World, which is what we call the world that the Cartoon is from, The Chipmunks were between 8 and 10, possibly 11 during the entire time. The Millennial World, which is what we call the 2007 and 2009 movies, during the first movie, they were about 6 or 8 and several years had passed between the two movies, the were about 14 in the second movie. If you all survive, ask James Seville, he knows.

Once again, which Dave? The Dave from our world is about 40 or so. Dave from the '80's World was about 37. And Dave from the Millennial World is actually about 35.

Onto Question 6! My Answer is no. Because we never had a movie or TV series. But I do listen to our music.

I've had to deal with both of them, I wish I didn't.

Because the Millennial Chipmunks and Chipettes love them, that's all. I personally don't mind them too much.

No I do not. For that matter, I don't even know who that is.

Yes, because I rule the world.

No, because everyone in my world know that some chipmunks talk.

All of them. Same with Joelle.

(Joelle nods)

Actually, I was hoping to make her my next meal, angry girls have some good blood, but that's besides the point.

I do not, neither do any of my brothers. I've seen both alternate versions of Dave yell Simon and Theodore.

Next from Periosha...

(Melvin grabs paper)

Melvin: I'm going to read it! This is from Periosha,

**Okay, I just stumbled on this when I noticed the tons of reviews for this fic...**

**It's funneh, really funneh... XDDDD**

**The talk-show thing? Nice... XD**

**Anyway... for questions... the three of us have questions for ya alright...**

**Soron: Hey there, Name's Soron Andrews, here are my questions, bespectacled munk:**

**1. What are your reactions when you read fics about you and Alvin being a couple?**

** there any chance of that ACTUALLY happening?**

**3. If you had one wish, what would it be and why?**

**4. Where would you see yourself a year from now?**

**'s the current status between you and Jeanette?**

Seymour: You are that Light-powered Chipmunk right? It doesn't matter that much.

I would never be a couple with Alvin OR Melvin. They are too irritating with their 'pranks' and I would never read anything that would suggest that ether.

I could destroy Light. Because, my powers are partly Darkness and light can hurt me, plus it's impossible to corrupt.

and ruling your world.

and Joelle? We have been doing well, our relationship is getting better, let me show you.

(Seymour walks up to Joelle, and they kiss Passionately.) That good for you?

Melvin: These are from Max Seville... When did our family get bigger?

Seymour: Just read the questions.

Melvin: Fine, whatever.

**Max: Nice set! Next, it's from me, Maximiliam "Max" Seville:**

**1. Hey there, Si! How goes being the man of the house while Dave's not around?**

**2. What's your fave quote and what does it mean?**

**3. Which would you prefer, Red or Violet *snickers***

**4. Have you ever taken into consideration smoking or drinking?**

** what time was sibling rivalry your best moment of the day?**

Seymour: I'm not the 'Man of the house' when Dave is gone, Melvin is.

Melvin: And it's great! One time while he was gone me and my brothers completely destroyed New York City, It was the best prank that we pulled on the mayor.

Seymour: Now back to me answering the questions. My favorite quote is "Death to he who crosses me." - Dirge. It means don't mess with me!

I actually like Violet better, but Joelle doesn't wear Violet anymore. She wears Dark Purple and Black.

No. I'm no fool! I would not indulge in such foolishness as that!

I don't know because I don't remember what life was like when I did fight with my brothers.

Melvin: Now this is actually from a human, I think.

**Okay, now that my OCs have asked their questions to you, Si, I'd like to personally ask a few myself, to you and the author.**

**1. How'd you come out with a really cool, whacked out idea like this?**

**2. How are you coping with all the hate messages and the really weird reviews?**

**3. What is your style when it comes to writing/replying?**

**4. Expecting out of the blue questions like these?**

** you consider my review a flame, review, or criticism?**

**okay, I'm done... TC and God Bless! XDD**

**C ya on the next update... :)**

**"Living it my way..."**

**~Periosha**

**~Soron**

**~Max**

Seymour: I'll let my good counterpart answer that.

(pushes Simon back in front of the audience, but he's tied up now)

Seymour: Answer these questions!

Simon: Um, well, credit for the Q & A show idea goes to Tiana Koopa, one of my fans who had been sponsoring a similar show for Ludwig Von Koopa. I thought all of my fans would be pleased if I had a show like that, so one of my fans, CosmicKitten89, decided to sponsor the show for me.

As for the hate messages, well, I am trying not to get overemotional about them. When you receive flames, the best you can do is to try to see the other person's point of view, and be polite about introducing him or her to you own. And I don't really mind weird questions. It is my opinion that, with very few exceptions, there is no such thing as a stupid question.

When it comes to writing and replying, my style is to be as thorough and descriptive as possible. I also try to be concise, but sometimes I like to elaborate more for the viewers' enrichment.

Yes, I do expect a few viewers to pop random questions out of the blue. In fact, I wish I would receive more such questions. Too many of my fans ask questions that I have already addressed on the show.

I wouldn't say that your post is really a flame, review, or a criticism; it's just a list of questions.

Whitney: The next question is from: chipmunkfanatic,

**"Simon got another question for you **

**Simon did you ever take Jeanette to the prom? because I didnt take my so called ex girlfrind to the prom this year and i dont even have a girlfriend already I had two breakups it feels like im the worst guy on this planet . **

**If you could change one thing in your Family life what would it be ? **

**Simon in the Second movie the squekuel why did the cgi chipettes started working for Ian hawke? im just lost here **

**and whats the Deal with alvin and Brittany always Fighting ?"**

Seymour: No, I have not taken Joelle to a prom. For that matter we have never danced together at all, except during performances.

That I would be the oldest.

Melvin: In your dreams!

Seymour: And your nightmares.

I believe that they were tricked by Ian Hawke to believe that our good counterparts were bad. But they wanted to work with him. I'm not totally sure, you would have to ask them.

Alvin and Brittany love each other but they don't want to admit it. They fight because they are constantly trying to see who's better. Although they can work together. Like when we captured Jeanette and took over her mind, and made her capture all of them, Brittany and Alvin worked together to try to stop us and free Jeanette, but they both ended up captured and became our slaves like Jeanette. If it wasn't for that irritating protector of theirs, James Seville, we would have kept all of them under our power and took over their world as well! That is why I hate 'Heroes' they always get in the way.

Melvin: Why wasn't there any questions for me or Whitney?

Joelle: Because Alvin got his own show.

Whitney: Maybe we should crash that one too.

Melvin: I like that idea!

Seymour: Meanwhile, Me and Joelle will go back and work on some more experiments.

Joelle: Better than answering questions for humans.

Theao: Me and Eloise will raid the food table in back. I think I saw some Devil's cake back there.

Eloise: And also some party cake too!

Melvin: Then let's go, I'm getting sick of looking at the humans anyway.

(They all leave to do what they said they would do)

James Seville: (unties Simon) Are you all right, Simon?

Simon: I'm fine. Thank goodness for their diversions. Dear viewers, there is no need to leave the Darkmunks and the Darkettes any questions, for they will not be here next week. Little did they know that I have a few surprises of my own up my sleeve… As for the rest of your questions, I will get back to them next week. I'm sorry, but I must create an antidote for Eleanor and Theodore, and I must also warn Alvin about the possibility that they might crash his show. I'm so sorry about what has happened, and I thank you all for making my show as popular and highly-rated as it is today. Good day, everybody!


	9. Guest Starring James Seville

(Disclaimer: Refer to previous chapter.)

Simon: Salutations, viewers! I apologize for not having my show yesterday. If you remember what happened last week, you have been aware that there was a little… problem that I needed to take care of. I am happy to inform you all that the Darkmunks and Darkettes have been vanquished, and Theodore and Eleanor are back to normal!

Jeanette: He's also doing the show later because he was up late last night taking care of them, and he slept in. Yawn… I slept in too… Brittany, Alvin, I really don't appreciate you two waking me up in the middle of the night to ask inappropriate questions!

Eleanor: Feels good not to be stone anymore!

Theodore: Gosh, the worst thing about being made of stone is that you can't eat! I'm hungry! I haven't eaten in a week!

Simon: Theodore, you don't require food when you are made of stone.

Theodore: But I'm still hungry.

Simon: There are refreshments available in the back.

Theodore: OK! (leaves his seat and goes back stage)

Simon: Well, first I shall give you the latest poll results. Alvin took my poll off last week to make room for his which-dirty-song-parody-do-you-like-best? poll, but the latest poll results from last week are: 7 for me, still in the lead; 2 for Kooky Von Koopa… _Who voted for Jimmy Neutron?_

Aah, doesn't matter. It's just one person's opinion against seven's. Anyway, I have a whole lot of questions to catch up on! James Seville, who helped me with vanquishing the Darkmunks and Darkettes, is here to answer your questions about the CGI Chipmunks and Chipettes. Well, anyway, here's the first question!

**Chipmunkfanantic asks:**

**Ok simon in the first back to the future would it be possible for a car like say a DMC 12 Deolorean to hit 88 miles per hour in order to time travel throu a wormhole? cause I saw that on mythbusters and they said it was a failure but they used two different cars in order to pull that off but i have to say useing th Delorean for the flux dispersial not a bad idea but in my book the life of a lonely chipmunk I recreat docs temporal expriment useing a remote Controller and it worked the car in my book caught up with me 27 seconds ago .But in the bttf game it didnt work .What are some Failed Expriments that you could make better due to your Calications? Jeanette Same Question**

Simon: Aahh, Back to the Future… One of my all-time favorites. It's pretty funny how these movie makers mangle the laws of physics to make their movies entertaining… OK, when did Mythbusters get a wormhole generator? Now, when I time-travel, I don't do it by driving a car through a wormhole. I create a wormhole by generating a temporal flux field that transports everything it encompasses through time according to strength and polarity of the temporal flux field.

Eleanor: Um, Simon, I think that you might need to clarify for your audience.

Simon: Certainly. The strength of the temporal flux field determines how far back or forth through time you go, while the polarity determines whether you travel back or forth through time. A reverse polarity temporal flux field, which transports you back through time, takes more energy to generate than a normal polarity temporal flux field-

Eleanor: Gosh, my head hurts…

Simon: Sorry. Now, I have seen lots of experiments on Mythbusters that would have worked out if they had only worked with the precision of a quantum physicist-

Jeanette: Precisely. Like the Son of a Gun experiment, for example; if the bullet shot near enough to the ovum, then it would have burned through its surface enough so that a single sperm could penetrate it-

Simon: I don't think that the audience wants to be filled in on the full details of our calculations, Jeanette. We've already got Eleanor confused.

Theodore: (returns with a platter piled higher than him with treats) Hey, what did I miss?

Eleanor: Trust me, you don't want to know.

Theodore: Napoleon creampuff?

Eleanor: Why, thank you! (bites into the creampuff, getting cream all over her face, then kisses Theodore and gets cream on his face).

Simon: All right, our next question is from Annie Mari:

**Um, why are you mad at Kayla Shayla and Fiona and Ashley? **

**Why didn't you finish reading Kayla Shayla's comment? **

**Do you know her? **

**(Gasp) Was she your old girlfriend?**

**Did you dump her or something? **

**Why is she so mad at you? **

**What'd yah do anyway? **

**How come Alvin isn't on your show anymore?**

**Does Kayla Shayla have something to do with it?**

**Do you not like her?**

**Did you like her before she dumped you?**

**Did Jeanette tell you to dump her? **

Simon: (sighs) No, I do not know Kayla Shayla, Fiona, or Ashley. They are just fans who had gotten mad at me for making fun of Alvin. The reason Alvin is not on the show anymore is because he got his own show, and the reason I did not finish reading Kayla Shayla's comment was because I did not think it was, um, very appropriate to discuss on this show. Next question!

**Munk19 asks:**

**Hey Simon, **

**I see there is a lot of flaming going on here. The way I see it, many of them feel that you do not love Alvin. It looks like you only love Theodore more. I know Alvin gets on your nerves, but no matter how much you two argue, you are still brothers and will always have each others backs. Trust me, I have an older sister, and we argue most of the time, but in the end I lover her. I know it is difficult to handle Alvin, but you have to accept who he is. In time, he will change, but you have to always keep his confidence up, because he needs you, believe it or not. Without you, he will be bored. Truthfuly, Alvin loves you...and loves spending time with you. He sees it as "brotherly bonding" as you see it as "annoying". He has his own way of connecting with you, you just don't see it. I am happy that you gave him his own show! That shows a true brother right there! Just remember, behind all that ego, is Alvin, your brother! Someone you can never replace! God forbid, if something happens to him, you will regret that things you said and did to him. Same thing goes for Alvin. You have to remind Alvin that you love him...which brings me to my question...**

**Do you love Alvin? If so, when was the last time you said you loved him to his face? Or when was the last time gou said you loved him at all?**

**That is the problem, the only thing that we see more are insults, fighting, and arguing. We never see the heart to heart sibling love. Only hatred. Have you ever thought that Alvin thinks you hate him? That would only make him feel unloved. Try to take the time to think about how much you love Alvin, cause one day, Alvin will not be around, and the only memory you will have of him is insults after insults. So talk to Alvin, telling how much you wish to get along...becoming friends. I know you love Alvin, Simon! I know you do! I also know he loves you as well! Theodore may be sensitive, cause he expresses more freely. Unlike Alvin, who hides his. Be blessed that you have a brother like Alvin! There are worse people out there, just be glad Alvin is not one of them! I am not saying that you two cannot tease each other, cause sibling do have to tease each other. I am just saying is that try to show more love than hate. I still love the show, and I still think you are really a cool guy! Same with Alvin! And Theodore! ...Just try to show some more brotherly love...that's all. Alvin needs to know that he is loved! Not only by his fans, but his family and friends as well! **

**Thanks for taking the time to read this. Do not forget to answer my questions! :)**

Simon: You are quite welcome, Munk19. Gosh… I cannot remember the last time I told Alvin that I loved him.

Jeanette: Probably the last time the two of you were in mortal peril.

Simon: Yeah, probably. You know what, I think I will tell him in a review for his nasty show.

Jeanette: That's a very good idea. Next question?

Simon: It's from Kayla Shayla. It says:

**Dear Simon,**

**In chapter 7 see me and Eleanore writing back and forth to eachother. And at the end I told you that" as a Friend of Rachel," and I only gave yu a small glimpse of who she was. After which, you politely asked me who Rachel was. So, here's my answer... **

**Rachel Scott was her name. Rachel was a girl who believed that with just the right amount of kindness and a chain reaction, you could change the world. However, Rachel went to school at columbine high, where at the time there was a bully problem. And she thought that wih the kindness she spread and a chain reaction, she could put and end to it. So that's what she did, she kept a journal and talked to her friends about it. She tried very hard to make sure everyone was happy. Why, she even saved many kids from suicide! **

**However, there were a few kids that thought a chain reaction wasn't going to cut it. There were two boys in fact that were fed up with being bullied! And they decided that the best way to deal with their anger and sadness was to go to school and start a shooting! so on April 20th, the shooting at Columbine High School took place... Unfortunately, Rachel was one of the first victims. **

**The boys went around the school and shot! When they were all done, they went to the library and blew it up!**

**Students reunited with families... Some, sadly mourned the loss of loved ones. Many were sad to find that Rachel was gone. Some were so sad that they decided that they were going to follow Rachel and her challenges. These were her challenges:**

**1. Eliminate Prejudice by looking for the best in others.**

**2. Dare to Dream, write down your goals and keep a journal.**

**3. Choose Your Influences, input determines output**

**4. Kind Words, small acts of kindness = BIG impact.**

**5. Start a chain reaction with family & friends.**

**I guess that's why I got so mad at you when you picked on Alvin and when Jeannette picked on Brittany. I just didn't want anyone to get so fed up with being picked on to think that to deal with the anger is to take a gun and start shooting! That must be why said"You never how long there gonna be there for you! Anything can happen in this world!" Anything can happen, that's why you should treat everyone like it's their last day on Earth. I'm pretty sure if anything happened to Alvin and you had said something horrible to him, you'd regret it for the rest your life! That's why I tried to tell you to not pick on him. So please understand that I wasn't posting those comments to make you mad or sad or feel bad. I was just mad! Ok? You just didn't listen to me and then you called us touchy and I got even more mad... **

**I guess I could have been more sensitive about your... You know... But c'mon! I was mad! No ones ever sensitive when their mad! So I'm sorry, but please try to be nicer to people! Remember this story the next time you think about making fun of someone. **

**Now again, I promise you, I'm not trying to be mean, i just want you to understand.**

**Well, I guess that's all I wanted to say, for now**

**So Thank you for lending me your ears and listening. It's really appreciate it**

**Kayla Shayla**

Jeanette: (sobs) That's sooo sad…

Simon: I know. The anniversary of the shooting, April 20th, was not so long ago…

Jeanette: Hitler's birthday.

Simon: A decisive choice of days for a shootout. Well, I accept your apology, Kayla Shayla, just as I hope that you accept mine. As for Rachel's challenges, well, I already try to not be prejudiced and to look for the best in others, though admittedly, I haven't done that so much with Alvin… I have always been a big dreamer and had definite goals in mind, although I don't usually write them down…

Jeanette: I write my goals in my diary.

Simon: I choose inspirational figures such as Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein as my influences. I – well, I try to say kind things to others, though I haven't so much to Alvin, unfortunately… And, well, I guess that we could start a chain reaction on this show. Having almost lost Alvin to the Darkmunks and the Darkettes, I can appreciate what you mean more than ever now. And I also apologize for what the Darkmunks and Darkettes said about you and your questions last week. Next question!

Voteforcollige15 says:

that was alot going on in chapter 7. anyway,is there anywhere in the world you would like to visit? (question for everyone)

Simon: Well, I have already been almost everywhere in the world that I want to visit most, but then, it's an enormous world, and I haven't had time to do quite as much traveling as I would like… I think that I would really enjoy a trip to Tibet to study the mountains and the monasteries.

Jeanette: Me too! But I think that I would also love to go on a safari through Tanzania!

Simon: Oh, yes!

Eleanor: Well, I would love to visit that famous chef that lives in Spain.

Theodore: I've already been to visit him! I would like to go to that famous cooking school in Paris!

Simon: Oh, how could I forget! The place where I would like to visit the most is Stockholm, Sweden, to attend the Nobel Prize ceremony! However, I do not want to visit until I actually win the Nobel Prize.

Jeanette: And you just might for what you invented to rid the world of the Darkmunks and Darkettes!

Simon: And you just might for that novel you just got published!

Jeanette: (blushes) it's not that great…

Simon: What do you mean? It's phenomenal! It's original, inventive, and – well, I cannot discuss it on the show, for copyright reasons. Anyway, next question!

**Awesomo3000 asks:**

**Yo, Si, Awesomo3000 here! Got some questions for ya!**

**Simon:**

**What's your favourite song by Greenday?**

**Did you enjoy staring in Sploosh?**

**Do you have a favourite sport?**

**What was you favourite country you visited in the around-the-world race?**

**Do you like Michael Jackson's "Bad"?**

Simon: Well, I know that this is probably everybody's favorite Green Day song, but since I don't listen to a lot of Green Day I would have to say "Time of Your Life".

Theodore: It's Alvin's favorite Green Day song too! He did a dirty parody of it on his show!

Simon: Theodore! I told you not to watch that show!

Theodore: I'm tired of you looking after me like I'm some kind of a baby! I'm not a child, I'm just as old as you and Alvin, minus a couple of minutes or hours or so, and I'm old enough to watch whatever I want! As a matter of fact, I – I _did_ it with Eleanor a couple of weeks ago-

(Simon, Jeanette, Eleanor and audience gasp)

Eleanor: Theodore!

Theodore: And if I'm old enough to do that, I'm old enough to watch a silly parody show! And it's not a secret anymore, Brittany just told everyone on Alvin's show! And you could have answered the questions for yourself if you weren't stone at the moment-

Eleanor: Grr, I'm going to kill Brittany!

Simon: No, you are not! You are going to politely discuss it with her. Remember Rachel's challenge – anyway, yes, I did enjoy starring in Sploosh.

Jeanette: I did too.

Simon: Well, I'm not one much for sports, but I'm pretty good games such as archery and Frisbee tossing that depend not so much upon strength and stamina as precision of aim, for I can easily calculate how to make a thrown object travel as far as possible, and in the direction I want. My favorite country… I would have to say that I enjoyed Greece the most. I loved the sculpture and architecture, and I would have liked to try the food, but we left before we got any.

Theodore: I know. And I so wanted some Greek food too… Would you care for a quiche, Simon?

Simon: Why, thank you. (accepts the mini-quiche and daintily bites into it) Mmm. Well, I guess "Bad" is a good Michael Jackson song, although I don't know if it's my favorite…

**The Chipette Protector asks:**

**Hi Guys!**

**I really enjoy the show!**

**Sorry to hear about all the bad comments. To all of them: No one watching wants to hear so please stop.**

**On to the questions!**

**1. What do u think Jeanette would be like if she was evil?**

**2. How much trouble did Alvin get into because of the Hot-air ballon race?**

**3. Jeanette - How did Miss Miller die? And when did it happen?**

**That's all!**

Simon: Well, Jeanette would probably be like Joelle if she were evil. What do you think, Jeanette?

Jeanette: I think I would probably be a phony who pretends to be a goody-goody and who writes sick and disgusting horror stories while contemplating mad experiments.

Simon: Haha, Alvin got into sooo much trouble for that hot-air balloon race! As a matter of fact, all three of us did. We were grounded for a month, and we didn't receive an allowance for six months!

Jeanette: Wow, I guess Miss Miller let us off easy, then. She only grounded us for a week. Speaking of Miss Miller… she died 3 years ago, of a heart attack. When we saw her death certificate, we found out that she was 15 years older than she had always told us she was!

Simon: She was a member of the Liar's Club.

**ChipetteGirl10 asks:**

**Hey Simon!**

**Ignore the hate comments! (If you don't have anything nice to say or post, don't! This isn't a show where you flame Simon!)**

**Okay, so...oh yeah!**

**Since you said you will have Theo, Ellie, and Jean with you, there are four questions.**

**Simon: How many times has Dave yelled "AAAAAALLLLLVIIIIIIN!" in one day (being the brainy one I'm sure you would count)?**

**Jeanette: William Shakespeare or Mark Twain?**

**Eleanor: What's your favorite soccer team?**

**Theodore: What is your favorite type of cake?**

Simon: This is one of the questions the Darkmunks got to. The largest number of times Dave has yelled Alvin's name in one day is 17. Actually, I can think of quite a few days on which he yelled Alvin's name that number of times.

Jeanette: I like both authors, but I prefer William Shakespeare, even though Joelle prefers Mark Twain.

Eleanor: I like the Women's National Soccer Team. That's the team that Mia Hamm used to play for.

Theodore: I have to agree with Thaeo here… I enjoy cheesecake and devil's food cake too! But it has to have chocolate frosting, and vanilla cake has to have vanilla frosting. The frosting flavor must always match the cake flavor! Except in the case of red velvet…. Mmmm…. And carrot cake. I once made carrot flavor frosting, and it was disgusting!

Simon:

**Genicise1275 asks:**

**I'm watching it right now, quick question on the episode:**

**"Did you feel that Dave was really taking you for granted in the events prior to you running away?"**

Simon: Well, Dave ignored my accomplishments to assist my brothers in making their beds, then he had me build that exercise machine of his without so much as a "thank you", how do you think I felt? Although running away from home is not the solution; it was a very stupid preadolescent thing of me to do…

**Munk19 asks:**

**Sorry, I forgot to ask these question...this is for Ch. 7...**

**Theodore: What is your favorite band/singer?**

**Jeanette: What is your most unforgetable memory?**

**Eleanor: What do you like most about Theodore?**

**Simon: First, I want to apoligize for getting involed with the whole "flaming" thing. I was not flaming you, I would never flame anyone. However, I still am sorry for bringing up the topic. It won't happen again. **

**My question for you Simon is...What is your opinion on 2012? (not the movie lol) I am very interested on your opinion. :) ...oh and if the others want to answer too...that is cool with me.**

**Thanks and keep up the good work! The show is really entertaining...just like Alvins...only educational...lol :)**

Theodore: I like the band Blancmange.

Simon: Is that your favorite band or your favorite dessert?

Theodore: Well, I do like to eat blancmange, mmm… but I don't know what my favorite band or musician is, there are so many to choose from… Aaah! The Fast Food Rockers! They sing "The Fast Food Song…"

Simon: (Sighs and rolls eyes)

Jeanette: My most unforgettable memory was probably that around-the-world balloon trip. Although it would have been more unforgettable if Simon were hugging and kissing me throughout the trip… Or maybe filming and kissing Sploosh… sigh…

Eleanor: Well, what I like most about Theodore is that he's sweet and nice and likes food as much as I do! I also like that he's f-I mean, chubby… it turns me – ooh, oh well, the secret's out anyway…

Simon: I understand that you were not flaming me, Munk19. Flaming is writing rude and offensive comments with little or no basis for justification. You were perfectly reasonable and polite with the way you came across. As for 2012… There have been a lot of ancient cultures that have made predictions about 2012. I don't believe that they are necessarily doomsday predictions. Some astrologers believe that it signals the official beginning of the Age of Aquarius. Some conspiracy theorists believe that the Mayans were aliens and 2012 marks the date that their alien overlords are scheduled to return. (laughs) But there is a lot that we don't know about the Mayans; their culture was highly advanced in terms of mathematics, and perhaps in more ways than they left evidence of, so who knows? Perhaps the Mayans calculated the trajectory of an enormous asteroid and it is scheduled to hit the earth and destroy us in December of 2012. But I personally like the Age of Aquarius/new beginning school of thought, for heaven knows earth is in need of a rebirth… Perhaps 2012 is the year that I save the earth from being demolished by an asteroid, and to thank me the nations of the world crown me as the worldwide emperor so I can bring peace to the world!

Jeanette: Oh, Simon…

Simon: Hey, I can dream, can't I?

Eleanor: Well, I think that the Mayans just forgot to add subsequent years to their calendar.

Jeanette: Well, I agree with Simon, more or less… What do you think, Theodore?

Theodore: I don't know… I hope an asteroid doesn't hit us next year…

Eleanor: Now, now, everything will be all right. (hugs Theodore) Even if that did happen, Simon would stop it.

Simon: Next question from a Sammy:

**Yeah, Simon, don't sweat it, okay? You're doing fine! Sure, there was like, what, two or three things you said that were uncalled for, that's it, right? but other than that, your doing ok! Nothing a little help won't fix! **

**That Kayla Shayla chick mentions ten times that "Golden Rule" Bull Snap! I'm pretty sure she doesn't mean a word of what she's writing down! She's just saying that to put you down! Same thing for those other dumb broads!**

**So just keep doing what your doing alright! Your doing fine! **

**So my questions are: **

**what's with the review going back and forth from Kayla shayla, Fiona and Ashley to Eleanore? What was that all about? **

**And why was Kayla Shayla talking about Rachel's Challenge? **

**And why do you get so defensive when you see her reviews? Are you mad at them or something?**

**Do you even know them?**

**I'm sorry about all of this, it's just that I get really confused. You could be reading a question about, let's say, batmunk, and then ibsee the name Kayla Shayla or Ashley or even Fiona yelling at you and then you you yell at them and then you seem angry because you cut out some of their review? So what's up with that? Have you got something against them? I'm only mad at them for flaming you and stuff. **

**So Whats with the war between you and them?**

**So, who is she to you? Do you not like them or somethig? Are you mad at them or what?**

Simon: Well, that's not very nice of you to call them "dumb broads". You're asking for flames by doing that. And I think they've meant what they said, because they apologized! So I would like you to apologize to them! Anyways, Eleanor was discussing some… personal matters of mine with them, because she didn't like that they were mad at me… And Kayla Shayla is a proud supporter of Rachel's Challenge. And I do not know them; they were just mad at me for the way I have been talking about my brother, and, having been offended, it was only natural that I would get defensive. And I wasn't mad at them; they were simply mad at me.

**Brenda asks:**

**Okay, that one Kayla Shayla chick may be a little bit mean, or angry on the outside, but at least she had the strength, courgage, and bravery to stand up for what she thought was right! And since she didn't think her point was getting across, she told that story about Rachel Scott, that was a sad story! :( I cried when I heard that sweet girl had been shot! She was so awesome! All she wanted was to make the world a better place and she was killed! Now that's not fair, is it? Now, with the story of Rachel's challenge was a message! It was, "Treat others like it was their last day on Earth, because you'll never no how long that person is going to be there to give you a second chance," that's what Kayla Shayla was trying to tell us all along! I'm sure she didn't mean to flame Simon, she was just trying to follow in Rachel's footsteps, and try to make tge world a better place for everyone! And that was awfully nice of Kayla Shayla, now wasn't it? She didnt have to tell you the story, after all, she was pretty mad! But she told you it abyway! I'm sure it was very hard for her to retell that story for you. And it's a true story, too! I remember it being on the news. That's why she got so mad when you called those young ladies "touchy" and picked on Alvin. It's a really touching story and it really stops and makes you think, does it not?**

**However, just so you don't get confused she left out a mistake. For one, I recall her saying the following: **

**"That must be why said 'You never how long there gonna be there for you! Anything can happen in this world! Well do you see that space between the words "why" and "said"? Well, if I remember correctly, one of the girls, Ashley, said that. Now, I sat there for a while, reading that review over and over again, just trying to make sense of this. I was thinking, "That REALLY doesn't make any sense," **

**Now I know when you're typing on the computer, how those fingers fly every time a good idea pops into your head. I've been there before, I type stories up for my little sister all the time! But please, read over your reviews before you send them! I'm sure Simon has a hard enough trying to understand what you're trying to say, and it gets even harder when sentences don't make sense. Just wanted to get that out there.**

**Thanks! :)**

**Anyways, onto my questions:**

**1.) What do you think about Rachel's challenge? Are you going to become a Friend of Rachel and join the F.O.R club? **

**2.) In some of the old Alvin and the Chipmunks cartoons, you're shown being chased by fans, did you like that, or did you find it annoying? Explain!**

**3.) I've noticed that you've taken the flames you get very well! Good for you, buddy! Well if I ever think about becoming an author, or even an artist, I've gotta know, how do you do it?How do you handle flames?**

**3.) I'm confused, in the old cartoon, you guys were like 8 or 9! In the 2007 ALVIN and the CHIPMUNKS, I thought you were at least, a few weeks old. And now suddenly you're in high school! How'd that happen? So... Um exactly... How old are you?**

**4.) How old is Dave?**

**5.) This is kind of a silly question, but, um, do you listen to your own music, or watch yourself on tv or in the movies?**

**6.) What was it like working with Frankenstein and the Wolfman?**

**7.) So what was with your guys' obsession with Toaster Waffles? And Cheeseballs? There's been lots of talk about it! Lol!**

**8.) Do you hangout with Ross Bagdasarian and Janice Karman? Do a lot of people have troble saying his name? How long did it take you to be able to pronounce his name without messing up? Lol!**

**9.) Do you consider yourself popular? **

**10.) Do a lot of people freak out when they see you? (and not the good kind of freak out! The "OMG! A talking CHIPMUNK!")**

**11.) How many different language do you speak? (No, English doesn't count! Lol!)**

**12.) Are you happy Kayla Shayla apologized? I mean, she seemed really upset! It must have taken a LOT of thought to get her to back down!**

**13.) Do you guys have middle names? I'm sorry, it just kind of just occured to me. When ever Dave got mad at you guys, he would yell, "SIMON!" or "THEODORE" or "ALVIN!", but when ever my mom got mad at me, she'd yell, "BRENDA HOPE!" So I always wondered that.**

**Well, that about does it, I'm really sorry about my stupid questions! I just got curious! Please answer them truthfully and in the best way you can!**

**Thanks for listening! **

Simon: Thank you for asking my viewers to take better care with their spelling and grammar.

Well, I don't know how to join the F.O.R. club, or if I have time to get involved in their activities, but I wholeheartedly support their vision and ideals.

As for being chased by fans, well, it feels good to get attention, but when I want to work on a science project it can become more than a little annoying. As for flames, well, you handle them by calmly trying to see the flamer's point of view, and explaining, as politely as you can, your point of view. In case you haven't noticed, I got somewhat emotional, which is something that is better off avoided.

Well, certain things happened during the 80's, things I would rather not go into detail about now, that caused my family, the Chipettes, and I to move into the future, so we're not as old as you might think. But as for my actual age… I'll leave that for you to guess.

Dave… is turning 62 this month. Or at least he would be if he didn't skip all those years to live in the future.

Sometimes we watch ourselves on TV and listen to our music, but mostly for the purpose of self-criticism; I don't like the way my voice sounds to me. As for the movies, well… our CGI selves can be a bit embarrassing to watch at times.

Frankie and Mr. Talbot were – well, Frankie was a dear, far sweeter than he looked on the outside, despite his lack of social graces. Mr. Talbot turned out to be a rather nice, if somewhat austere, fellow after he was cured of the werewolf affliction.

Well, that's our CGI selves who were promoting Toaster Waffles and cheese balls. I personally enjoy them, as do my brothers, although I try to cut down on prepackaged processed foods, and I prefer homemade waffles. And you asking about Ross Bagdasarian and Janice Karman is some MAJOR breaking of the fourth wall, which I simply don't do… and I don't think that Americans have had much trouble with Armenian names since the Kardashians became popular…

Do I consider myself popular? Well, in certain circles… As a rock star, I am respected, though not as much as Alvin… But once the glamor of being a rock star wears off in the eyes of my fans at school, they see me as a nerd and they pick on me just as they would pick on any other nerd. But among the chess team and my fellow physics grad students and my role-play and gaming buddies, I am the most popular guy around.

In this day and age, most people are used to the fact that there are anthropomorphic chipmunks and other animals walking around, although there is still prejudice against us… For instance, some of my jealous classmates have themselves convinced that anthro-chipmunks have a lower mean IQ than humans. Which may be true, I don't know; all I know is that, regardless, I rank well above the 99th percentile among the general population, whether they be human or chipmunk.

Languages… Well, let's see… I am fluent in Spanish, German, French, Italian, Russian, Portuguese, Polish, Greek, Swedish, Norwegian, Danish, Japanese, Mandarin Chinese, Cantonese, Korean, Tagalog, Arabic, Hindi, Armenian, Swahili, Dutch, Afrikaans, Hawaiian, Basque, Latin, Hebrew, American Sign Language, and that language spoken by those islanders that we visited in The Chipmunk Adventure, which doesn't officially have a name. Right now, I am studying some of the indigenous languages of Australia, North and Mesoamerica, and Africa. My goal is to acquire proficiency in at least one language from every language subfamily.

Jeanette: Wow… even I don't speak that many languages!

Simon_: Cuantas lenguas hablas tu?_

Jeanette: _Hablo solo diez lenguas muy bien._

Simon:_ Cuales?_

Jeanette: English, _espanol, deutsch, francais, polski, nihongo, lingua latina, guanhua, italiano, suomi_.

Simon: Spanish, German, French, Polish, Japanese, Latin, Mandarin Chinese, Italian, and Finnish. Hmm… I don't speak much Finnish myself. _Tres bon_!

Well, yes, I am very happy that Kayla Shayla apologized. It did take a lot of calm and considerate thought to get on her good side.

I just found out from our mother what our middle names are. Alvin's middle name is Stewart, which is fitting considering what the initials spell. My middle name is Octavius – oh, dear, look at what those initials spell! Theodore's middle name is Louis – after Louis Pasteur, I suppose.

Jeanette: Well, my sisters and I decided to pick our own middle names! My middle name is Anne, as in Anne Rice or Anne Frank, and it makes my initials spell "JAM", which I like; Brittany's middle name is Lynne, as in Jamie Lynn Spears, except that she prefers that it has an "e" at the end, and Eleanor's middle name is Julia, after Julia Child. I suggested that she take "Lynne", because I thought it would be neat for her initials to spell "ELM", but Brittany already claimed that.

Simon: Jeanette, I thought you would have picked Olivia.

Jeanette: I didn't want to copy the CGI version of me.

Simon: Don't say that, there is no such thing as a stupid question!

**Periosha asks:**

**Okay, I just stumbled on this when I noticed the tons of reviews for this fic...**

**It's funneh, really funneh... XDDDD**

**The talk-show thing? Nice... XD**

**Anyway... for questions... the three of us have questions for ya alright...**

**Soron: Hey there, Name's Soron Andrews, here are my questions, bespectacled munk:**

**1. What are your reactions when you read fics about you and Alvin being a couple?**

**2. Is there any chance of that ACTUALLY happening?**

**3. If you had one wish, what would it be and why?**

**4. Where would you see yourself a year from now?**

**5. What's the current status between you and Jeanette?**

**Max: Nice set! Next, it's from me, Maximiliam "Max" Seville:**

**1. Hey there, Si! How goes being the man of the house while Dave's not around?**

**2. What's your fave quote and what does it mean?**

**3. Which would you prefer, Red or Violet *snickers***

**4. Have you ever taken into consideration smoking or drinking?**

**5. At what time was sibling rivalry your best moment of the day?**

**Okay, now that my OCs have asked their questions to you, Si, I'd like to personally ask a few myself, to you and the author.**

**1. How'd you come out with a really cool, whacked out idea like this?**

**2. How are you coping with all the hate messages and the really weird reviews?**

**3. What is your style when it comes to writing/replying?**

**4. Expecting out of the blue questions like these?**

**5. Will you consider my review a flame, review, or criticism?**

**okay, I'm done... TC and God Bless! XDD**

**C ya on the next update... :)**

**"Living it my way..."**

**~Periosha**

**~Soron**

**~Max**

Simon: My reaction: BLECCH! – and I press the back button.

The chances of that happening: about the same as the chances of a clone of Alvin's body spontaneously appearing out of thin air into somewhere in this very room, which is a possibility, according to quantum mechanics, but it would take me half the year to calculate that possibility, and the other half of the year to say it, even using scientific notation.

My one wish would be for world peace. That would solve a lot – political tensions, poverty, starvation, disaster relief issues, education, the economy…

A year from now, I see myself finishing up my Ph. D. in mathematical physics at the University of Cambridge. Last semester I finished up my Master's at MIT, and since the scholarship isn't effective until next year, I am taking a break this semester, which is why I have time to do this show.

As for Jeanette and I – we are a dating, strictly virgin couple. We kiss and we hug, but we don't take it any farther than that.

I have quite a few favorite quotes… From Albert Einstein, 'Great spirits have encountered violent opposition from inferior minds'… 'imagination is more important than knowledge'… From Thomas Edison, 'we don't know one millionth of one percent of everything'… 'Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration'… from Stephen Hawking, "God does not play dice with the universe".

Jeanette: That was another Einstein quote. Hawking actually refuted it.

Simon: You're right. Well, anyway, what that quote means is that Einstein is not comfortable with the ideas of quantum mechanics, which state that everything that happens is random to some degree, rather than absolutely predetermined… I could explain the other quotes to you, but I'd rather do it some other time. Boy, this is our longest show yet!

Let's see, do I prefer the dull low-frequency electromagnetic waves that radiate from Alvin's get-up, or the highest-energy visible photons that my love here is partial to? Violet without a doubt.

I have never considered smoking or even drinking. Smoking is a bad and unhealthful habit, and while drinking is fine in moderation, considering my field of work, and my ambitions within that field, I do not have time to impair my cognition.

Let's see… although sibling rivalry is very childish, and I try my best not to engage in it, there have been times when I actually fought with Alvin and enjoyed getting the better of him. Prime example: when I won the role of Batmunk over him. Unfortunately, Jeanette here didn't win the role of female lead…

Jeanette: Yeah, it's sick whom the directors pair us up with. At least we were together on Sploosh…

Simon: Yeah, that was the only one, though. Now, the Darks actually allowed me to answer these questions on the last show, so on to the next one!

**Chipmunkfanatic asks:**

**Simon got another question for you **

**Simon did you ever take Jeanette to the prom? because I didnt take my so called ex girlfrind to the prom this year and i dont even have a girlfriend already I had two breakups it feels like im the worst guy on this planet . **

**If you could change one thing in your Family life what would it be ? **

**Simon in the Second movie the squekuel why did the cgi chipettes started working for Ian hawke? im just lost here **

**and whats the Deal with alvin and Brittany always Fighting ?**

Simon: Well, we didn't go for our junior year, but we went for our senior year.

Jeanette: And I wore the prettiest purple silk dress I have ever worn!

Simon: Cheer up, chipmunkfanatic, if those girls broke up with you, then maybe neither one was the girl for you.

If I could change one thing about my family life… Dave would be happily married.

Theodore: And Cookie Chomper the Third would be back.

Simon: Amen.

James: I can take this one Simon. My girls had trusted Ian because he had managed the Chipmunks, but they didn't hear that Ian had abused them. So they didn't know that he was evil, and they believed his lies, Britt blames herself because of that, because she had completely convinced her sisters that Ian was good and that the Chipmunks must have been bad. Boy was she proven wrong.

Simon: Thank you, James.

As for why Brittany and Alvin are always fighting… (sighs) that's got to be the third or fourth time I received that one. I don't know; why don't you ask them?

**Crazy Man 3000 asks:**

**First off, I'm a HUGE fan of all 6 of you plus Fanfiction, now my question. Chipmunks: What was it like when you first saw the Chippettes? Chippettes: Same question only reversed? **

**P.S To Alvin: In the words of Dave with a comment of my own, , Shut Up and let Simon do his show Ok?**

Simon: Well, Jeanette had that air about her of someone who is extremely intelligent, or at least wants to be seen as such, but at the moment I was just angry that the Chipettes had taken our hotel room.

Jeanette: Actually, we had the hotel room booked for us; you and your family were mistaken because we were also called the Chipmunks. I felt the same way about you; I was upset that you guys were trying to take our room.

Simon: Yeah, I remember us fighting over the pillow…

Jeanette: We eventually decided that it was silly to fight with each other…

Simon: But Alvin and Brittany just didn't know when to lay off…

Eleanor: I thought that Theodore looked like a cute nice guy…

Theodore: Eleanor seemed really nice, sharing breakfast with me, but then she thought that I threw food at her, which I didn't do, so she threw food at me. It was yummy!

Simon: Well, don't worry about Alvin interrupting my show anymore, now that he's got his own!

**Dianne asks:**

**Dear Simon,**

**Thank you very much for your outstanding advice! It's really helped me a lot! I tried turning the other cheek and trying not to let so many things get me, and I'll have you know, it's been working like a charm! I can't thank you enough! I can really feel like I'm starting to reconnect with my siblings! We're a family again! Thank you very much! **

**However, I couldn't help but notice that Kayla Shayla, Fiona and Ashley, seem a bit mad at you. And I know that your probably not asking for it, but, I'm going to give you some advice. Please take the advice, you've helped me so much, and I feel like I owe you SOMETHING!**

**Ok, so here are the 5 rules I use for fixing a problem: **

**1. Just stop talking for a second and open your ears! (Not trying to be mean or anything! I mean the last thing I wanna do is be mean!) **

**Take the time to to listen to what they have to say BEFORE you open your mouth!**

**2. THINK about what you're going to say BEFORE you say it! You'll never know if what you say could hurt someone's feelings or set someone off!**

**3. Try to understand their point of views before you start saying their wrong for thinking it.**

**4. At least tell them that you understand what they've been saying, even if you don't agree.**

**5. Talk it out, work it out and make it right.**

**Ok, that's all I've got for you. So the next time you get a review that says someone's mad at you, at least try to follow these steps. Because I really hate to see people mad at eachother and this is what I do when someones upset with me and when I'm upset with someone else, and it really makes more of a difference.**

Simon: Thank you for the advice, Dianne. I told you it would work. Now, I usually turn the other cheek when it comes to dealing with Alvin, but it's not quite so effective on him, which is why I sometimes resort to my small ways of revenge… Which is awfully petty of me, and I should try not to stoop to that level.

**ChipetteGirl10 asks:**

***Eyes wide and mouth hanging* **

**Uhh...okay...**

**Assuming that next week's show will have you, Theo, Ellie, and Jeanette...here are DIFFERENT questions.**

**Simon: What's your take on being tied up by the Darkmunks and Darkettes?**

**Jeanette: What is your favorite TV show?**

**Theodore: Which is sweeter: Candy or Eleanor *insert wink here***

**Eleanor: Which is better: candy or chocolate?**

**- ChipetteGirl10, the awesome one!**

Simon: Well, it wasn't very comfortable, I'll tell you that… but I must wonder, why didn't they just turn me into stone or make me a vampire? Did they have some other use for me? If so, what?

Jeanette: My favorite TV show is probably Bones. Simon says Bones reminds him of me.

Theodore: Eleanor's sweeter, after she's eaten candy! Mmm, I love the way her lips taste with chocolate on them!

Eleanor: (kisses Theodore with her fudgy lips) I thought chocolate was candy! Oh, well, in that case, chocolate is my favorite kind of candy!

Simon: Here's from The Chipette Protector:

**Gotta love my guys!**

**I also own James Seville and can answer any questions for the CGI 'Munks and 'Ettes! Can't wait to see all of ur questions!**

Simon: Thank you for having him guest star. Attention viewers, you may star in the next episode if you get to me first. I accept viewer guest stars on a first-come-first-serve basis. But please, next time don't attract any troublesome dark villains to the show, OK?

**Kaylie asks:**

**1: Are there some deleted Simonette scenes in the episodes? If there are, then what are they? **

**2: Why are there SO many Alvin and brittany scenes if there was supposed to be NO romance?**

**3: I've heard that, for a kiss in movies, they normally have to play the scene a bunch of times. how many times did they do it in sploosh?**

Simon: Well, there are a lot of moments during which Jeanette and I hug each other and kiss each other's cheeks and refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend; basically the same stuff that Alvin and Brittany do, but more low-key.

And I guess you're right, they do show a lot of Alvin and Brittany romance. Hmm. I guess the directors favored those two, or maybe they were disgusted by our "geek love".

We had to do it quite a few times for Sploosh. When you kiss somebody naturally, it's sometimes awkward for the first time, but when you are under the scrutiny of a camera and are trying to do it as photogenically as possible, it's even more awkward. I believe we did about… 12 takes?

Jeanette: Thirteen.

Simon: Oh, right, the time we did it right but Alvin got in front of the camera. Our glasses kept on bumping and falling off, and we banged our noses…

**Awesomo3000 asks:**

**Uuuuh... o...kaaay. That was... entertaining... in a weird,dark sort of way. Anyway...**

**Yo, Si! Waddup! I got some questions for you!**

**Theodore:**

**Can you tell me the main reasons you like Eleanor, besides she cooks great?**

**What is your favourite & least favourite song?**

**Jeanette:**

**What was your favourite country you visited in the hot air balloon race?**

**What is your favourite TV series?**

**Do you hate Justin Bieber?**

**Eleanor:**

**How did you react when Michael Jackson died?**

**What is your favourite romance movie?**

**Simon:**

**Can you name your top three favourite songs by ACDC?**

**Do you like the Annoying Orange?**

**What do you think the main reason is for you not being so popular as Alvin & Theodore?**

**Please answer my questions! Awesomo3000 out!**

Theodore: Well, she is cute, and nice, and she takes good care of me, and… um, this is where I should stop.

My favorite song is "The Fast Food Song", and my least favorite is that scary Alice Cooper song that Alvin was listening to.

Eleanor: Theo, you've never even heard "The Fast Food Song"!

Theodore: It's about food, I don't need to hear it to like it! Ooh, I also like the McDonald's jingles!

Eleanor: Not real music…

Jeanette: I loved Switzerland, but we didn't get to do much there except ski.

I already said that Bones is my favorite TV series. Please, people, read what the other commenters have read before posting!

I wouldn't go so far as to say that I hate Justin Bieber, but the songs he sings are annoying, and I find it somewhat disturbing that he's 17 and his voice still hasn't broken. But don't tell Brittany I said that.

Eleanor: I cried a bit when Michael Jackson died, but Alvin was crushed. I baked him a yummy cake to make him feel better.

My favorite romance movie of all time would have to be Titanic.

Jeanette: Mine too.

Simon: Uh, sorry, I don't listen to a lot of AC/DC. You should ask Alvin; maybe he'll sing you a dirty parody.

No, I can't stand the Annoying Orange. Reminds me of Alvin at his worst!

I think that the main reason I am less popular is because most people do not understand me as well as they understand my brothers.

**Dianne asks:**

**Ok... That... Rather odd, actually... What was that about, anyway? Why did they keep bagging on our questions? The questions weren't for them, they were for Simon/Jeanette and Elanor/Theordore with possibly for Alvin/Brittany. I hope Simon and theodore and Eleanore are ok. That was...scary to say the least. (no offense to you Simon, i'm not saying your show is scary, it's just that what was going on today was scary!**

James: Allow me to explain, The Chipmunks and Chipette's Dark Counterparts, known as the Darkmunks and Darkettes came onto this show and took over for an episode. The reason for their banging of the questions is because they see themselves as higher than anyone and everyone else, they see most others as simplistic fools that are of no use to them. But the problem is that they do have the brawn to back up their trash talk, and they really trash talk! Also, they probably assumed that because no one actually had questions for them, they would answer questions meant for their good counterparts.

Simon: Here is a message from Crazy Man 3000:

**DARKMUNKS AND DARKETTES, HEAR THE WORD OF ME: BE GONE FROM SIMONS SHOW! GET YOUR OWN DANG SHOW OR I WILL BE FORCED TO ATTEMPT TO VANQUISH YOU ALL!**

James: You may have a problem with that. They are immortal. They don't call all of you mortals for no reason. But don't worry, they're not coming back anytime soon.

Simon: KillaCam11 asks:

**wonderful:-)**

**so simon i heard that you like to play pokemon? so my questions for you are as follows**

**1. what versions do you have**

**2. have you played black or white yet**

**3. are you a pokemon master**

**4. If answer is yes (or no i really dont care) i challenge you and jeanette to a pokemon battle just name your terms im interested in others style.**

**theo what do you like better culinary or baking**

**what your favorite cuisine**

**favorite fruit**

**with me also being a chef i have to know**

**eleanor if you had to chose soccer or cooking as a career what would it be**

**thats all ii can think of till next time this is Killa Cam11 Peace.**

Simon: I have Pokemon Blue, Yellow, Gold, Silver, Crystal, Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald, Leaf Green, Diamond, and Pearl. I wanted to get Platinum, Heart Gold, Soul Silver, Black and White, but I've been so busy with my research that I haven't had time.

Define "Pokemon Master". I haven't collected all the Pokemon, but I do a lot of Wi-Fi battling, and I'm one of the top Wi-Fi battlers in the world.

Jeanette and I could tag-team against you and somebody else.

Theodore: Uh, I thought that baking was culinary! Oh, well, baking is one of my favorite culinary arts! My favorite cuisine is Mexican, tied with French, followed closely by Italian, then Greek, then Chinese, then Thai, then Polish, then Lebanese, then-

Simon: The viewer didn't ask you to list your top 100 favorite cuisines, Theodore.

Theodore: Oh. Well, bananas are my very favorite fruit! So starchy and sweet and soft and creamy! Not like other fruits! But other fruits are good too!

Eleanor: Well, I would only be able to play soccer for my younger years, even though it would make me more money per year, unless I become a celebrity chef, so I would have to say cooking.

Simon: Here's from Maddie and Leon – two people?

**Um, yes, I have a few questions, if that's okay?**

**1. Besides meerkat manner and spongebob, what is your favorite television show?**

**2. Where do you and Jeanette stand? Are you just friends? Close friends? More than friends? Dating?**

**3. How come Alvin isn't on your show anymore?**

**4. Who's Kayla Shayla, Fiona, and Ashley? Do you know them or something? (Sorry, you don't even have to answer that question if you don't want to. I guess I just got curious...)**

**5. Which are you more fond of? (Answer each question)**

***summer or winter**

***fall or spring**

***sing or dancing**

***Sciense or math**

****Ugh**, sorry about the next couple of questions, they're from my five year old brother. I know they're kind of ridiculous, but hes five years old, plus he loves watching you on tv! How could I say no to that? **

**Well, here goes... **

**6. Which would you rather do?**

**Eat twelve live spiders or wear Alvin's clothes for the rest of your life?**

**7. Who would you rather meet, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or Spiderman?(please keep in mind, HE IS FIVE!)**

**8. Do you have a mommy and daddy?**

**9. Do you know how to count in French? (he can, all the way up to 60!)**

**10. Are you good at dodgeball? (I tried to answer that one myself, but... He wanted to here it from you!)**

**11. When is your birthday?**

**Well, that's it, thank you!**

**Love Madison and Leon**

Simon: I've already answered some of these… I don't really like Spongebob, that's just the CGI version of me, though I do admit Meerkat Manor is interesting at times… I enjoy Mythbusters, How It's Made, and the other shows on Science and Discovery Channel.

Jeanette and I are dating, as I've already mentioned.

Alvin has his own show now, but it's inappropriate for children. He might guest star on my show some time.

I don't know Kayla Shayla, Fiona, or Ashley. They are just fans like you and your brother.

I prefer winter and fall to summer and spring. I find cloudiness to be somewhat soothing.

I prefer singing to dancing, for I am quite uncoordinated and I need to practice a lot to pull off what I do during my concerts.

Science or math… Math is a science. The purest science, in fact.

Spiders aren't so bad. They're full of protein. In fact, I can't remember where I heard this, but the average human being swallows seven live spiders a year in his or her sleep!

I've already met the Easter Bunny, and I don't know about Spiderman, but I would like to meet Santa Claus so I could ask him how he defies the laws of physics to deliver all those presents.

I don't know if I have a daddy, unless you count Dave, but I do have a mommy! Her name is Vinny.

Sixty? Very good! But I can count way higher than that in French! French for eighty is _quatre-vingts!_ I can count to really, really high numbers in French if I use scientific notation!

Surprisingly, I am good at dodgeball. I am pretty good at dodging the balls, and when I calculate how hard and at what angle to throw the ball, I'm good at nailing the dodgers too.

My birthday is April 14th.

You're quite welcome!

Ok, last question is from a fan who copied my brother's name as his or her screen name:

**Hey, Si, it's your brother Alvin, not a fan whose screenname is Alvin Seville. Anyways, I would really like for you to guest-star on my show next week. I'm sure the fans will agree. Are you in?**

**Your Wonderful Brother,**

**Alvin**

Simon: Or not… Nice try, Alvin, but it's going to take a lot more than that to get me to go on your show!

I also received this review in CosmicKitten89's inbox. For future reference, fans, questions are posted in the reviews section.

**Ultimatehero55 asks:**

**i have a question for your fanfiction ask simon. if alvin hypnotized brittany, you hypnotized jeanette and theo hypnotized ellie what would you 3 make them do?**

**P.S i think ellie's cute, jeanette's shy but beautiful and brittany's sexy**

Simon: Well, that would be very un-chivalrous of us to do that to our girlfriends, wouldn't it, Theodore?

Theodore: It wouldn't be very nice to hypnotize Ellie. Still, it would be nice to hypnotize her to stop making those ucky rutabaga pies…

Simon: Well, I'm sure that Alvin would beg to differ, though; maybe you could ask him. I also received a message to promote Adam Seville's Wacky World. It's a talk show like mine, maybe you guys could submit some questions?

Whew, what a show! This has got to be our longest show yet! Well, thank you for watching, and please stay tuned for next week's episode of Ask Simon!


	10. Happy Mother's Day!

(Disclaimer: CosmicKitten89 owns nothing in this story. Adam Seville belongs to chipmunkfanantic.

Simon: Good morning fans! I know it's been a long week, especially for me… my mature audience will recall my inadvertent appearance as a guest star in Alvin's surprise airing of his show in the middle of the week… I am happy to state that I survived that ordeal unscathed. His show is gaining in popularity, but, apparently due to its mature rating, it is lagging behind a certain more recent show called Adam Seville's Wacky World… speaking of which, Adam Seville is here today! Since nobody asked him any questions this time around, he is going to ask some questions of me at the end of the show!

Adam: Hey Simon, you forgot that the show was supposed to air yesterday!

Simon: (face palm) You're right! I was so busy on helping my sponsor CosmicKitten89 out with her Youtube video that I lost all track of time! It's an excellent piece of editing, by the way, if I do say so myself. It's a video about me acting like Kooky Von Koopa from the Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3. You can find the link on CosmicKitten89's profile page.

Adam: Hey, don't you know, it's Mother's Day too.

Simon: That's right! Oh, I had better call my mom…

Vinny: Hello, Simon!

Simon: M-mother! What are you doing here?

Vinny: Theodore, Jeanette and Eleanor invited me over for a surprise visit.

Simon: Well, happy Mother's Day! (hugs Vinny)

Vinny: Now, I've never watched this before, since I don't have cable or a dish out there in the woods… You get questions from viewers and answer them, right?

Simon: Yes.

Vinny: Where's Alvin:

Simon: Oh, he's working on his own show.

Vinny: Is it like your show?

Simon: Sort of…

Vinny: Oh, I'll have to see about getting a dish installed on my tree!

Simon: Trust me, you'd rather not watch Alvin's show.

Vinny: Well, when are you going to start watching viewer's questions?

Simon: Right now.

**Knight of Renaissance Light asks:**

**This is the first time I'm doing this, so I better make these count. I just have three questions:**

**1) Referring to one ColonelShaw, she found a video that had the "Sploosh" episode recorded, and was planning to get in online as soon as she can. What's your opinion on this? (Don't believe me? Check her fanfic "Alvin and the Chipmunk's Final Destination" on Chapter 12)**

**2) What are your feelings regarding the return of your 1980's series on Boomerang?**

**3) This one for Jeanette: Regarding to "Chip Tracy," you played Bess Blueheart while Alvin played Chip Tracy. Didn't it seem "strange" that Alvin got the part, when Simon could probably have done a better job at it(no offense to Alvin), just as Simon did playing the part of Batmunk? How would you have felt if Simon played Chip Tracy instead of Alvin?**

Simon: Well, I checked, and she said that she was going to have enough money to convert the episodes and put them on Youtube in a couple of months… but that was a year ago. I don't know what happened…

As for the return of the 1980s series to Boomerang, well, that would be a boon to Boomerang, but I haven't had any word on it happening. Somebody on Wikipedia was trying to spread rumors of its existence, but then they were corrected.

Jeanette: Well, the role of Chip Tracy does seem to me more of an Alvin-ish role, especially since a scientist role was required, and Simon would definitely be more suited for the scientist role. However, they should have had me switch roles with Brittany, or at the very least not make me marry and kiss Alvin in the end. I didn't really kiss him, you know. I just pretended to; you couldn't really see from behind.

Theodore: That's not what Alvin said!

Simon: Since when has it ever been prudent to believe whatever Alvin said? Here's the next question, also from Knight of Renaissance Light:

**Sorry, I almost forgot! I had one last question for you, Simon, something I believe you'll most likely find a tad...unusual. Not only am I an A.A.T.C. fan, but I also enjoy the fanficks of a show called Ed, Edd, n' Eddy, a show on three adolescents who constantly scheme to make money off their peers, in order to purchase their favorite confectionery: jawbreakers. However, their plans usually fail, leaving them in various predicaments.**

**Anyway, my question is this. I see some resemblance in behaviors between you and your brothers, and the Eds(Eddy similar to Alvin, Double-D (Edd) to you, and Ed(in appetite and personality, but not brains) to Theodore). Would you and Double-D get along well enough?**

Simon: Yes, I remember that show. There was a time when Alvin wouldn't stop quoting Ed's dumb remarks. Admittedly, Double-D was the only thing I liked about the show. Yes, my brothers and I have been compared to the Eds. CosmicKitten89 has even thought about that herself. Although I would say that Alvin isn't quite as much of a skinflint as Eddy, and Theodore isn't stupid to the degree that Ed is, and I'm not as sensitive or nervous or germophobic as Double-D is. However, I do agree that I would get along well with Double-D.

Jeanette: (blushes) I, uh, used to have a… crush on Double-D.

Simon: You crushed on me as well, right?

Jeanette: (Blushes)…

Simon: Next question from Genicise1275:

**Hey Simon, a couple of questions really:**

**When is Alvin and the chipmunks back on Boomerang?**

**What are your feelings on being in Chipwrecked? I mean I'm excited for the new movie, but there has to be something wrong here the plot, it's a weird direction. I just want to know your opinions on this.**

Simon: Like I said, the news on the show coming back on Boomerang is only a rumor.

As for Chip-Wrecked… I really don't care for the whole idea of being shipwrecked. It's a very clichéd sort of plot that has been used at least once in almost every TV series, including our own, and for every single episode in the case of Gilligan's Island. There was even a Chip 'N Dale episode with the word "chipwrecked" in the title. It seems to me like a fan-made rumor anyway, and I have yet to see an official commercial or other form of advertisement for it. However, whatever the movie's called or about, as long as they put more of Jeanette and me in it, I'll be pleased.

Jeanette: Yes, they didn't put nearly enough of me in the Squeakquel, let alone _us_!

Simon: (kisses Jeanette) They had_ better_ put more of _us_!

**NickiMinajandRihannafan asks:**

**1. What's your favorite song?**

**2. Who's your favorite artist in music?**

**3. Do you listen to R&B?**

**4. Does Jeanette make the first move, or do you?**

**5. What's your favorite food that your brother Theodore cooks?**

**6. Are you more successful in your mathematics and biology, or your music?**

Simon: I don't know, I have quite a few favorite songs, I would have to think about that…

As for my favorite artist…

Jeanette: I like Taylor Swift.

Simon: As you could tell the other night when she objected to Alvin singing a dirty parody of "Teardrops on my Guitar". I like Taylor Swift too, but I have a hard time picking a favorite artist and song from this century… May I tell you my favorites from the classical era?

Jeanette: We like Tchaikovsky, Beethoven, and Mozart.

Simon: Yes. I like the music from the Nutcracker, and the Ninth, and… ooh, many others!

Vinny: I played classical music on my piano when I was pregnant with my boys. That might be why they're so musical.

Simon: That theory about listening to classical music while in the womb is greatly disputed among scientists, mother.

I do listen to some R & B. Alvin is very fond of a lot of it. Rihanna is pretty catchy.

Who makes the first move… Well, it varies; sometimes I play white and she plays black, sometimes vice versa…

Eleanor: I don't think the fan is talking about chess, Simon.

Simon: Oh. I am usually the one to make the first move, since Jeanette is so shy, although I do strongly encourage her to make the first move whenever she feels like it.

Now, my favorite food that Theodore cooks… I do like his muffins, and his pecan pies, and pretty much everything that he makes… but I particularly like his crème brulee, and his quiche, and… ohh, it's so hard to decide! I'm a fair cook myself, but I learned everything I know on the matter from Theodore!

I am definitely more successful in mathematics and biology than in music with my brothers – after all, Alvin is the lead of the band, and even he has a hard time making a name for himself and for us… I, on the other hand, am a leader when it comes to mathematics and the sciences, and have won several prestigious awards for my endeavors in such.

Adam: Hey, here's mine!

**Hey Simon its your Friend Adam Seville how would you like to Guest Star instead of Alvin's on my show im qutie sure my fans would agree So are you in Your OC Adam P.S. Dont tell Alvin this But me and him are Competing for the #2 Spot and have you taken a look at the polls i May not be able to Catch up to your show but im going to try at least but Should I take Alvins Suggestion or Should I not Im Looking forward to your Answer and if you want to Guest Star on my Next Episode of Season 3**

Simon: Well, it's too late for me to guest star on Alvin's, but whenever you want me to guest star with you, just have your sponsor send CosmicKitten89 the questions and I'll answer then and send them back to you.

Adam: Thanks!

Simon: Oh, look, it's our friend Kayla Shayla!

**Dear Simon, **

**I wanted to say, I accept your apology! :) Thank you very much! So, do you promise to at least try to be nicer to everyone, that means Alvin, too? **

**Um, yeah, if it's not too much to ask, I think I need some advise. Well acually, i need a whole load of advise! Please help me! Please! **

**Okay, um I don't know were to start.**

**Well, I've gotta problem. It involves my best friend, Ashley (not the Ashley that your thinking of, it's a different one, she goes to my school.). She has a strange obsession with boys, I don't know why. I'm guessing it's a girl thing that I'm too young to understand. **

**Anyways, she flirts with guys all the time, and she lets them touch her in places that should NEVER be touched! In fact, there was this one guy that touched her even when she told him not to! She was lucky I was there, I screamed at him to back off and I threatened to call the cops. Luckily, he stopped and left Ashley alone for a while. **

**But that's not the point! The point is that she let's boys touch her and it's not okay wih me! I tried telling her how I felt about it, but she doesn't listen to me! She tells me to stop being such a stick in the mud and loosen up! And when I threatened to tell her parents, she told me to keep my big mouth shut or she wasn't going to be my friend anymore!**

**Now being a Friend of Rachel, it's my job to help people and make this world a better place for every one! But she's making it very hard! I love Ashely like she was my own sister and the last thing I want is to see my best friend get hurt! So what I really need is your advise.**

**Should I tell Ashley's mom with the risk of losing my friend of should I keep my mouh shut? (I'm leaning heavily towards telling her mom, but she'll probably going to hate me for the rest of my life!) I just don't know what to do!**

**There is another dilema I've been going through at school. I'm different, and I've always been told that was a good thing. I know, I know, it doesn't matter what you are on the outside, it's what's on th inside that counts. But the kids at my school aren't really that nice and they don't think that way. They call me names and tell me that I'm a freak and I'll never amount to anything. **

**There are a lot of things that are different about me. I don't swear, I can't even say the "C" word, even though my mom and dad say that it's not really a swear word. **

**I don't like candy or chocolate, ( I don't know why, it looks good enough to eat, but it tastes terrible to me!) **

**I still think that going out with boys is gross,**

**I despise video games that don't allow you to get up and move, **

**I don't like watching movies that are rated above PG, **

**sometimes I refer to my mother and father as "Mommy and Daddy," **

**I refuse to go anywhere without my mom and dad's approval...**

**Whenever someone I don't know talks to me, I still say, "My Mom and Dad told me NOT to talk to strangers!"**

**I dress for spirit day.**

**I cry when I get hurt, (emotionally and physically)**

**I still like watching Spongebob**

**I don't like violence,**

**I don't like beer( I think that's for the best)**

**Whenever someone picks on me, I still say**

**"Sticks and stones,**

**May break my bones,**

**But names will never hurt me," or **

**"Rubber glue,**

**Back to you,"**

**When someone lies I still say,**

**"If a promise you don't keep,**

**It will haunt you in your sleep. **

**And as you lie beneath your quilt,**

**You'll have a conscience full of guilt." or**

**"Liar, liar **

**Pants on fire! **

**Your nose is longer than a telephone wire!"**

**I know, I'm weird! REALLY weird. Most people refer to me as weird or strange and stuff like that. I wouldn't blame you if you laughed at me, or called me a name, a lot of people do that to me. But the thing is, I can't help it! And That's part of the reason that I joined the Friends of Rachel. I didn't want anyone to go through the same thing as I am right now. I try to show people that t really ISN'T what's on the outside that matters. People have to learn to look past what's on the outside to see someone's pure awesomeness and coolness! Everyone has it deep down inside, I just know it!**

**However, people don't always think the way I do! My mom tells me that I can't mistake my good qualities for the bad ones. She tells me that the things that make me stand out are the things that make me unique and beautiful! Just like in your guys' song, "Acceptance"! You know the part where it says,**

**"Everything I am**

**Is a great thing to be!" And**

**"Whoever you are,**

**Wherever you live,**

**Whatever you look like,**

**Whatever it is!**

**The person you see, **

**Is just the skin,**

**All of the good stuff,**

**Ain't out, it's in!"**

**But Mom doesnt understand! However, for a while I thought that. But the kids at my school can be cruel! They go straight to name calling and belittling! I know I'm different. But I thought I was different in a good way. But apparently, I'm not good enough for these kids. I tried ignoring them, but they just kept going. I tried telling my teachers, but then they started calling me a snitch and a rat and telling me that I was worthless.**

**I didn't really let to get to me that much, until Tolerence Week at my school. (You see, I was adopted. And until I was two years old, I was put in a foster home with my brother until my foster parents adopted me! I'm very grateful for that because my biological mother was bad! But people don't understand that! Keep this in mind!) **

**Anyway, at school, we were celebrating our Culture Day, it was the Friends of Rachel club's idea. So my teacher went around and asked the kids what our ethnic backrounds were. Now, seeing that I was adopted and I really didn't know what I was, when the teacher came to me, I told her I didn't know what I was. Now of course, she wanted to get to the bottom of it and she started questioning me, and eventually she found out that I was adopted. And then she told the whole class, which is the exact opisite of what I wanted to happen. You can only guess what the kids started to say. "oh, even your own mom didn't want you!" I guess i just walked right into that one, huh? But I know that what they were saying was true because she put me in a foster home, thankfully with my brother! I'm not exactly upset about it, in fact, I'm glad my mom put me in a foster home, because then I would have never been adopted by such loving and understanding parents! But, it's just the fact that people tease eachother like that because they're different!**

**I'm definately not depressed. In fact, I'm the opisite of depressed! I love life and all the awesome little things that come with it. I'm not sad, because I have nothing to be sad about. I have a roof over my head, food and fresh water on the table to eat and drink everyday! Everything I could ever ask for is right here! A big happy family, a dog! Plus, I'm a strong healthy girl born with only two major disablities: Asthma and ADHD. And we go on at a maximum of two vacations a year, trust me, I can deal with a few bullies. It's just that I just want the world to be different. Life is only so long, and people spend so much of it bullying and picking on other people! And fighting! Ooh! I just HATE the fighting! No one lives forever and if you spend your life picking on people, you'll wind up regreting it, someday! Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday, they're going to wake up and realize that life is too short to be wasted on picking on people! And the sooner people get that through their thick skulls the sooner this world will change!**

**Which leads us to another cenario. At my school, there is this girl. No offense to her, I'm not being mean, in fact, i like this girl, she's my friend. Nut she's a bit strange. She smells kind of funny, and she has a tendancy to... Well... Take things that don't belong to her. Okay, she STEALS! Okay, at lunch, she put things in her pockets and walks out without paying! I've stopped her many times, but she does it anyway! And becauseof the fact that she steals and she's a little bit strange, she gets picked on, A LOT! I tell them to stop, but once again, no one ever listens to Kayla, right? **

**So I really need some advise from you, ok? How can we help make a chain reaction? I've already became a friend of Rachel and I've already helped stop a ton of bullying! But I want the whole world to change, not just my school! What should I do? People shouldn't jar to fear coming to school because of this bullying! I'm pretty sure kids have enough to worry about and bullying shouldn't be on "The List of Worries"!**

**Thank you for listening!**

**Love, **

**Kayla Shayla!**

**P.S.- When I was talking about the stuff with the bullying and stuff, it wasn't aimed towards you and Jeannette. I was just talking about bullying in general.**

**P.S.S- Thank you very much for standing up for me, Ashley and Fiona. It made me very happy. But you don't need to worry, I'm not going to waste my breath on her. She obviously doesn't like me and flaming her will probably cause drama. Trust me, that's he absolute last thing I want, let alone need!**

**P.S.S.S- Heave this warning, Ashley (yes, the other Ashely, the one that was helping me.) is still mad at you! I dont know if she apologized to you or not, but she still isn't... Exactly... Happy with you. And she definately wasn't thrilled to hear that I apologized to you. So just beware! Sorry I couldn't tell you this at the begining! **

**P.S.S.S.S.- please excuse any spelling mistakes or grammar errors!**

Simon: Whoa… That was very long… and personal. But, since you posted it in the reviews, I'm assuming that you want it on the show.

Now, not that it's not a good thing to not be interested in beer or boys at your age, which I'm assuming is below the age at which one becomes old enough to view Alvin's show, but it sounds like you're a bit… sheltered by your parents. I don't know for sure, maybe that's just the way you are, and if it is, then that's fine. But there may come a time when you might change your mind about such matters. If that is the case, and if your parents do not support you, then you will be on your own, and you won't have anybody to help you, and you will be too inexperienced to help yourself… which would of course be your parents' fault… again, don't be offended; I'm not saying that that's the case, I'm just trying to say that if the day ever comes that you feel the urge to rebel against your parents, you should calmly talk it out with them.

It sounds to me like you were lucky in that you got great foster parents. My sponsor CosmicKitten89 was not quite as lucky as us. The person who fostered her for five years before adopting her and her sister… well, didn't exactly abuse them in a physical sense so much… CosmicKitten89 got everything she needed physically, but she was emotionally neglected by her foster parent, who yelled at her, bullied her, restricted her privileges, refused to support her interests, cut her off from her real family, and pretty much held her back in almost every way possible. Which is especially sad, since CosmicKitten89 has a lot in common with me… not just in terms of intelligence, but in terms of… well, you know what I'm talking about. And she has mild asthma and ADHD like you as well, and unfortunately, she is a bit depressed.

CosmicKitten89 and her twin sister were moved all over the country during their childhood; first when they lived with their real mother, then when they were in foster care and later "adopted". CosmicKitten89 was not allowed to go to college for two years after graduating from high school (her sister did not want to go, and was not high-functioning enough to handle it anyway). This was because she was not allowed to go to college away from home, and when she was finally allowed to go to college, it was at a community college – and, well, I've been helping Alvin and Theodore with their homework, and let me just say, quite often it's the case that community college classes are not quite up to university standard.

CosmicKitten89 eventually decided that she wouldn't take it anymore, and, well, she took certain actions, certain desperate measures, that caused her adoptive family to throw her out on the street – a month before her 21st birthday! Luckily, she knew of some friends that she could stay with, and she has been living with them for the past seven months. She transferred to the town's four-year college, and right now she is finished with classes for the semester. She has reestablished contact with her real family, and this week she is taking a bus across the country to go back to live with her father, whom she hasn't seen in nine years.

As for your friend… well, that's a very delicate situation. CosmicKitten89 got into a similar situation with one of her other foster parents when she was nine years old… her foster parents' biological son, also nine years old, was "playing doctor" with her. CosmicKitten89 did not ask for him to do this to her, nor did she want him to, but she was afraid to tell, for if she did she would be sent back to the other, more abusive foster parent (again, not the same as the one who adopted her). But he wouldn't stop when she asked him nicely, so she had to tell his parents, and she and her sister were sent back to the other foster parent.

Now, the reason your friend behaves the way she does… well, for some individuals, Alvin and Brittany being, no offense to them, prime examples, sexual maturity happens before they are emotionally mature enough to handle it. Now, I know that you do not want to lose her as a friend, but as a friend, it is your responsibility to protect her. This behavior of hers is asking for trouble. She could wind up raped, which is a traumatic experience for anybody, and pregnant with a child that she is not ready to care for. Having already been touched when she didn't want to be touched, she should already be aware of the possible consequences of this behavior. Now, I am not telling you what choice to make, but I would recommend telling her mom – not about her allowing the boys to do that to her, but about that one who touched her when she told him to stop. She may hate you for it, but when she matures, she might one day thank you for it.

Now, I understand that you're deeply concerned about bullying. The fact is that bullying doesn't just happen at the schoolyard – sometimes bullying happens in the home, from siblings or even parents, as was the case for CosmicKitten89, whose foster parent's bullying eclipsed the fair amount of bullying she received at school. She was, in fact, suspended once for "sexual harassment," when she was just hugging a girl out of friendship, and some mean girls who pretended to be her friends made a big deal out of it to the principal. But that was nothing on her foster parent, who constantly called her "dumbass" and threatened to take her food away, and occasionally even slapped the glasses off her face… but enough on that.

The worst happens when the bullies are the ones in power. The government that taxes the poor while sparing the wealthy, the rich CEOs who pay their lowest underlings minimum wage for doing the majority of the work, the medical insurance companies that overcharge the infirm and the elderly – all are examples of bullying. The majority of the money belongs to a small minority, and the power that comes with such money is used to bully the less wealthy into becoming even less wealthy.

The bullies may be in power, but the bullied are the majority. If we would all just stand up for ourselves together, all at once, then the bullies at all levels of society will be powerless against our sheer numbers. The main obstacle here is motivating people. Many just don't want to bother. Oftentimes the reason is because they don't think that there are enough people who support them. If they only knew that there were so many other would-be supporters that were thinking the same thing… we need to work as one, a macro-organism of society, to change it for the better.

Jeanette: Inspiring.

Vinny: (sniffs) I'm so proud…

Eleanor: Great, Simon. Um, are you going to answer the next question?

Simon: Oh, sure. Here's one from chipmunkfanantic:

**ok Great show but I would like My OC to Guest Star on your next**

Simon: Well, you're already here.

Adam: Read the next one. It's mine!

Simon: Okay.

**Hey Simon I got a few question's from my Sponser chipmunkfanatic **

**Simon I wonder why my show is so Different from Alvin's ?**

**Jeanette I was thinking how would you rate my show Compared to Alvin's ?**

**Simon since your gonna be Guest Staring on my next episode be sure to tell Jeanette Theodore and Eleanor to send in there Question's to my show as well .Every Question counts if you get my drift . **

**Theodore whats the least thing you hate or dont like about Alvin ? **

**Jeanette Whats the one thing you adore about Simon and dont See in Alvin at all ?**

**And Eleanor Name one event in your life?**

**And I have a few Question's for you Simon . **

**How how do you put up with Alvin? because i cant even put up with my own Brother and Im telling you he's More annoying then Alvin well he does close the door on me and making me get in even when the door was closed and locked till i Finally got in . I dont know how to put up with my brother he's worse than **

**Alvin . **

**So Simon you into Queen? because I'm into Bands like ACDC KISS Alice cooper pink floyd and of course Huey lewis and the news and of course you guys you are my favorite bandin the world its no Joke belive me**

Simon: Well, for one thing, it's not nearly as dirty as Alvin's; for another, you seem to air a new episode every day, seemingly one for each question that you get. I suggest that you make your episodes longer and answer more questions per episode. Also, try to insert some humor, perhaps even make a few song parodies, well, not necessarily dirty ones like my brothers'…

Jeanette: Although Alvin's show is extremely dirty, I would say that the humor and writing is excellent… Writing, what am I talking about? It's unscripted! Well, the dirty song parodies are funny, Even the Taylor Swift one, although I don't believe that she deserves to be made fun of the way Britney and Kesha do. As for your show, well, the episodes are too short, so I don't see a lot happening in them. Also, you should probably use better grammar. These are fanfics, not chat rooms.

Simon: No flaming the fans, Jeanette. If you want him to do something, just send in a response and ask! Well, Eleanor did send in a response…

Eleanor: And Adam took it as a flame.

Theodore: Well, one thing I don't like about Alvin is that he's always playing tricks on me. Like when he made me eat a dog biscuit.

Simon: Well, we got him good for that. (snickers)

Jeanette: Well, I adore that Simon is sooo smart… he's the smartest guy I know, he might even be the smartest guy in the world… (hugs and nuzzles Simon.) Also, unlike Alvin, he's so mature and sophisticated and responsible. He put on convincing grown-up airs even as a young child, and it took my breath away…

Eleanor: Well, the time I first did it… with Theodore… a few months ago… (giggles)

Simon: Well, one thing you could try to do is to outwit your brother. Although I don't know whether you or your brother is the wittier one; it only works if you're the smart one…

Eleanor: Not necessarily so. I daresay Alvin outwitted you the other night!

(Eleanor, Theodore and Jeanette laugh)

Simon: Well, that was kind of stupid of me… (laughs) Well, what can I say? Sometimes you've just got to laugh at yourself!

Yes, I am fond of Queen. My favorite song by them is the Bohemian Rhapsody, which is a true work of art, the likes of which are unseen in modern rock music. It's a very complex piece, each part taking the band months to perfect, and Alvin is right when he said that he wouldn't be able to pull it off on his show. Now a cheap parody of it, I don't know…

Alvin likes AC-DC, KISS, Alice Cooper and Pink Floyd. Alvin will be happy to play you a dirty parody of any of their songs, just request it. He already did a dirty parody of a KISS song… I didn't watch much of the show, being scared to see how dirty it would get, but Alvin was singing it all day the next day. We both like Huey Lewis and the News, although Alvin gets ticked whenever I tell him that Huey Lewis got a perfect score on the math portion of the SAT and originally went to college to become an engineer. Not that I regret that his music ever existed, but I personally think that he should have stuck to being an engineer. Alvin strongly disagrees with that, however.

And, of course, I am flattered that you have chosen us as your favorite band. I help Dave with some of the songwriting, you know, but I leave it mostly to him – that's his job, after all.

**The Chipette Protector asks:**

**I enjoyed guest starring with u Simon!**

**Here's some questions for all of u:**

**Simon - Was it scary having ur dark counterparts take over ur show? And how did u feel when Theo and Ellie were turned to stone?**

**Theodore and Eleanor - What was it like being turned into statues?**

**Jeanette - What do u like about Simon the most? And what were u thinking when the Darkmunks invaded the show and tied u up?**

**Well enjoy!**

Simon: Yes, it was indeed scary. I feared for Theo's life and Ellie's life when they were turned to stone. I tried to keep calm enough to think of a plan to stop them. I was lucky to have the assistance of James Seville, considering his expertise on the Dark universe.

Theodore: Being a statue was like being asleep, I guess. Except without dreams.

Eleanor: Pretty much.

Jeanette: Well, his smartypants attitude is definitely up there among the things I like most about him. When the Darkmunks came along, well, of course I was terrified, but I was confident that he would think of a way to stop them, and I tried to have confidence in myself that I could help him too.

Simon: Uh oh… This one's from the Darkmunks and Darkettes:

**We have to let you know that you did not vanquish us! You may have cured Alvin, Brittany, Theodore and Eleanor but you did not defeat us and you never will MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**The reason we ditched before was because of that accursed protector of all of you: James Seville.**

**Oh, and Joelle was going to kiss you and freeze you solid at the end of the show, but we never got time for that... too bad.**

**Once he is out of the way we will corrupt or remove all of you so be warned!**

**Sleep in fear Mortals,**

**The Darkmunks and Darkettes**

Simon: You were obviously not fully aware of the power of my dark energy trans-dimensional reversal field generator, which is still in operation at the South Pole, collecting energy from cosmic rays to power it. Might I say, it will take you quite a while to figure out a way around that!

Vinny: Dark forces… goodness! Simon, I think you and your brothers and the Chipettes should come out to live in the woods where it's safe.

Simon: Thanks mom, but I'm a city boy. And those Darks aren't going to mess with us!

Vinny: But what about that one who wanted to kiss you and freeze you solid?

Jeanette: If Joelle ever did that, all I'd have to do is kiss him myself and he'd unfreeze!

Simon: You sure about that?

Jeanette: Positive.

Simon: Here's the next one:

**Dear Simon,**

**never mind about Ashley, she's not mad at you anymore, she said! Don't worry! :) the only ones you'll need to worry about is Fiona, the Dark munks and Darkettes! Be careful, they're coming back!**

**Best wishes,**

**Kayla Shayla!**

Simon: Good. I meant to tell you to tell Ashley that I stood up for her when my fan Sammy called you all "dumb broads". I haven't heard from Fiona in a while…

And I know about the Darks. Don't worry, I'm a few steps ahead of them.

Jeanette: Simon's always a lightyear's worth of steps ahead of everybody… (sighs, dreamy look on face)

Another one of the things I love about him…

Vinny: My little genius! (smooches Simon)

Simon: Here's the last one, from Kaylie!

**Simon: What did you and Jeanette do on your first date?**

**Theodore: Where did you and Eleanor go on your first date?**

**And how old are ya'll in this story...TV show...thing?**

**Eleanor: What were you and Theodore eating when you first met the chipmunks? You know, the breakfast?**

**L8R!**

Simon: We went to the Observatory to get close-up views of the stars for a night under the stars picnic. We packed some gourmet dishes that Theodore and Eleanor fixed for us, and we lit candles and ate off of fine china on a chiffon tablecloth while viewing the galaxies and nebulae through the high-power portable telescope that I had invented.

Jeanette: We discovered a new comet!

Theodore: Well, on our first date, me and Eleanor went to a fancy French restaurant called Gaston's. Not Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, of course… We had French bread with garlic butter and cervelle d'agneu and escargots and even crème brulee and napoleon creampuffs for dessert!

Simon: Lamb's brains and snails… how… appetizing…

Theodore: I'll make 'em for you sometime if you like!

Simon: D-don't trouble yourself…

Jeanette: Brains are actually pretty good, Simon! Don't be afraid to try!

Simon: That seems kind of… disrespectful… to eat the cerebral… uh, isn't it… sort of sacred?

Jeanette: It's good for your brain to eat it.

Simon: So is tuna fish… Well, if you are what you eat, then eat what you are, I guess.

Now, I have already received quite a few questions about our age. I'll have you know that we're not children anymore. Alvin, Brittany, Eleanor and Theodore are in community college; I overachieved a bit and got my master's really early, and Jeanette, well, is working on hers now.

Eleanor: I made peanut butter oatmeal for breakfast.

Theodore: I thought it was weird at first, but it was really good!

Simon: Well, Adam, don't you have a few questions for us?

Adam: Why certainly! Now, I like asking science questions, but I'm just drawing a blank on math questions. I have a few on hand right now, mostly directed at Jeanette and Simon:

Simon, how do you do linear equations?

Simon: Well, that depends on the number of variables. A one-variable linear equation is the simplest; in order to find out what one variable equals at a given value for the other variable, just plug in that given value and solve by putting the constants to one side of the equal sign by either subtracting it from each side or, if it's negative, adding it to each side, which leaves the variable alone on the other side. Then you divide both sides of the equation by the constant, if any, that the variable is multiplied by, and what you have left is a variable with an equal sign between it and the number it equals. Simple. Now, to solve for linear equation sets-

Adam: Uh, I think I've heard enough. Jeanette, how long does it take a single cell to reproduce?

Jeanette: Well, it depends on the cell in question, but I believe that it generally takes around twenty-four hours for a cell to pass through all the phases of mitosis.

Adam: Theodore, how serious is you and Ellie's relationship?

Theodore: Very serious! How many times do I have to tell everyone, we DID IT! Is that so hard to believe?

Simon: Little Theo's grown up now.

Adam: Eleanor, has anyone ever read your diary?

Eleanor: Only my sisters… and Theodore. Without my permission, of course…

Adam: Simon, if you can calculate the time it takes for a cell to reproduce, how long does it take for several cells to reproduce?

Simon: All at the same time? Well, it depends on what stage each of the cells is in, and how many cells you are asking for. Please clarify your question.

Adam: Maybe later. Jeanette, how long would it take you to calculate the flow of electricity in a circuit?

Jeanette: Not long, if I know what the resistance and voltage are, but I must ask, by flow do you mean current or power? Or perhaps you mean the conductance of a material? Or the number of coulombs of charge? "Flow" is not a standard unit of anything as far as electricity is concerned.

Adam: Theodore, has anybody ever stolen your chocolate bunnies before?

Theodore: Well, Eleanor sometimes takes bites out of them, but Alvin will steal the whole thing and never give any of it back!

Adam: Eleanor, how many times has Brittany read your diary?

Eleanor: Too many to count.

Adam: Simon, how long would it take you to calculate the number of protons, neutrons, and electrons in an atom?

Simon: All I need to know is its isotope and atomic number. The atomic number tells you what element it is, which tells you how many protons it has, and also how many electrons, except in the case of ions, which either have extra electrons or missing electrons. Subtract the atomic number from the isotope and you get the number of neutrons. I have homework for you: Next week, I want you to tell me the number of neutrons in uranium-235. No cheating.

Adam: Jeanette, how long would it take you to travel around the world, using whatever travel you have at your disposal, in just eighty days?

Jeanette: That's like asking what does x equal if x equals one. It would take eighty days.

Adam: Well, that's all I've got.

Simon: Thank you. Now, mother, wait here…

(Simon and Theodore leave stage for a moment and return with presents)

Simon and Theodore: HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Vinny: Oh, thank you, my boys! (hugs them)

Simon: I remember when you taught me about the moon, so I got you this gorgeous picture book on astronomy.

Theodore: I made you this Love Cake for Mother recipe that I found in one of Dave's old cookbooks!

Simon: That wasn't literally a recipe, Theodore. It was one of those metaphorical recipe poems. And Jeanette got you the flowers.

Theodore: Oh, well, I substituted chocolate and vanilla for love and kindness, and it turned out rather good, if I do say so myself. Ellie helped me out!

Vinny: Thank you, boys. Now, what about Alvin?

Simon: He's got a present for you too.

Theodore: You should go visit him!

Vinny: I think I will! Thank you for having me today, boys, and good luck with the show! Say, since you have your own show, Simon, and Alvin has his own show, why doesn't my little Theo have his own show too?

Simon: Uh… Well, Theodore has always wanted his own cooking show… what do you say Theodore?

Theodore: Uh, I don't think I'm ready for a cooking show yet. I think I'd rather get through school first. Mom, did you know that I got accepted into a cooking school in Paris?

Vinny: Really? I'm so proud of you! (smooches Theodore)

Simon: Well, what do you say if I let you star in the next episode?

Theodore: Well, one episode would be fine.

Simon: And you'll have plenty of time to prepare, because, thanks to CosmicKitten89's cross-country move, my show will not be airing next week.

So, fans, for the week after next week, send in questions asking Theodore questions about food, and what you would like him to prepare on the show. I wish all of you moms out there a Happy Mother's Day!


	11. Lots of Questions and Drama

Simon: Welcome back everybody! It's been a while, since CosmicKitten89 decided to move and I decided to take a break last week. And it appears I have quite a lot of catching up to do.

Theodore: Do I get to cook?

Simon: Sorry, Theo, but I don't have time to do all of the reviews today, but you did a lot of recipes requested, and you will get to do that on our next show. Now, there's been a lot of… drama in my reviews section, and I'm going to have to handle that today before it gets out of hand.

**Hiya, i wanted to ask;**

**Simon and Jeanette: what were you two thinking while you danced in the valentine special?**

**My sis asks;**

**Theodore: What was the first thing you ever ate? and what was the first thing you ever baked?**

**Alvin: Are you always so rude? ;)**

**Eleanor: What do you think your mom looks like?**

**Brittany: Do you only think of yourself (Please don't take offence by that)**

**Jeanette: Do you like climbing trees? And WHERE IS SPLOOSH? PLEASE TELL ME BEFORE MY SISTER KILLS ME BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO SEE IT SOOOO MUCH!**

**Simon: What was the first thing you ever invented?**

**By the way, my sis wants to tell theodore that he is her favorite chipmunk!**

**Catcha Later!**

**Kaylie**

Simon: Well, I was thinking about how beautiful and sweet and smart Jeanette was…

Jeanette: And I was thinking about how lucky I was to know Simon.

Theodore: The first thing I ever ate was my mother's milk. Oh, you mean my first solid food? Well, I think it was pureed nuts and berries – you know, homemade baby food. First thing I remember baking is peanut butter cookies with Dave. I love putting the fork prints in the cookies, but I don't know why we always do that to peanut butter cookies…

Simon: Well, Alvin isn't here to answer that, so I'll answer it this way: he doesn't always _try _to be so rude.

Jeanette: Brittany isn't here either, and no, she doesn't always think of herself. Then again, maybe she does in a way when she's thinking about me and Eleanor…

Chipmunks are naturally better at climbing trees than humans, but being clumsy I'm not as good at that as other chipmunks, so I don't like to climb trees as much as other chipmunks.

And I don't know where Sploosh is, other than perhaps in the vault back at the studios, or recorded on somebody's VHS who won't or doesn't know how to post it on Youtube or get it converted to digital… The entire series is still show in German, I hear, so maybe if you can get one of your friends in Germany to record it and post it, and if you _sprechen Deutsch_…

Simon: First thing I remember successfully inventing was a calculator. I was maybe three years old at the time. It was crude, made of old calculator parts from the 80s, but it worked, and I programmed it to do functions that normal calculators can't do, and even to draw graphs on the screen… boy, was I disappointed when I found out the graphing calculator had already been invented.

Jeanette: And your first original invention?

Simon: Well, I invented a few chemical formulas that – well, I didn't know about patenting at the time, so I lost a lot of money, but they have proved important in cancer research and the pharmaceutical industry. After that, I started dabbling with the time-space continuum, and, well, after a few mishaps, thanks to Alvin, I finally invented a working time machine.

**I wanted to ask whether CosmicKitten89 has watched sploosh. And i wondered, taking into account that they did, if they would post the fanfiction about the movie?**

**I really want to know what happens, even if i don't watch it.**

**Thanks!**

Simon: Well, no, CosmicKitten89 is not old enough to remember watching the episode when it first came out, so she is not one of the lucky few who remembers seeing Sploosh. Believe me, she badly wants to see it too. She, like many others, has a …crush on me.

Jeanette: And she relates to me, being clumsy and smart and fond of the color purple.

Simon: She is going to be posting some Chipmunks Parody videos on Youtube when she starts creating them, and she has already posted a video of me acting… kooky…

Jeanette: (laughs)

Simon: Okay, well, here's one from Ashley:

**Dear Simon**

**This is gonna be really hard to explain, so bare with me, ok? Kayla Shayla is actually pretty young. But she gets picked on because she is in a class with a bunch of kids who are older than her! You see, Kayla Shayla skipped 2 grades. And right now, we're in the seventh grade. And even though she's in a class with teenagers, she's still pretty much a kid, therefore, she acts like a kid. Which explains why she gets picked on. **

**Kayla Shayla is very smart, she's kind and caring, she puts everyone else before herself. She just wants everyone to be happy, and not have to worry about being bullied at school. She's just a wonderful person. But she gets picked on. We don't know why.**

**Kayla is amazing, but the problem is that she is just a kid. She gets picked on because the kids at her school are to stubborn and immature to realize it. I mean, they pick on her for not liking chocolate, I mean, what kind of person does that? And how is that a bad thing, you know what I mean? And now, even Kayla's starting to think she is an outcast. She's not an outcast! Shes not a freak! Shes not anything those kids have told her! She's just a regular kid, and it's normal for her to not swear, say those little rhymes, not like beeror boys and dress for spirit day, and most importantly, act like a kid! But I guess she's just been around people that thinks she's abnormal, that she's starting to believe it.**

**And you know about her ADHD, right? She does, but it's not severe. In fact its a very mild case. I know, you couldn't even tell. Most people don't even know that she has it. Kayla's life is tough, growing up with ADHD, astma. But she pushes past those things so she can live her life. Because she knows that those things make up who she is. (I know, she's pretty mature, isn't she?)**

**She even works with kids who has similar and different disabiliaties as her. She's been working with children with autism, down syndrome and other special needs since she was in 3rd grade! She's amazing! I don't know why it's so hard for people to just look past the fact that she's a kid, because the thing is, she's a pretty mature kid. I mean, you could sit down and have an adult conversation with her and she'd be mature enough to handle it. The people who pick on her are the ones who are jerks! **

**So, Simon, I hope you don't think any less of her for knowing a this, because she's really grown to trust you ever since you guys apologized. Just know that she's just a kid walking in Rachel's Foot Steps!**

**I hope this cleared things up a little between you and Kayla Shayla.**

**Ashley...**

**PS- I was so busy lately, I never got a chance to thank you. Thanks for standing up for us to that girl who called us "dumb broads". Although I really want to give her a piece of my mind, I think that I'm going to follow Kayla Shayla. She's not worth it. I mean, it she already doesn't like us, do you really think that us snapping at her is going to change that, or make it any better?**

Simon: Well, that's got to be tough, being bullied for having skipped two grades, but it's no better to be bored in the same grade as your age mates.When my brothers got older and less dependent on my company, Dave allowed me to skip two grades. Yes, I did get bullied a lot, but I also got bullied a lot back with my brothers, and I say that there's no point in being held back when you're smart and mature enough to do the work. My sponsor, unfortunately, was never allowed to do that because of her problems, such as her ADHD, which I believe is more severe than Kayla Shayla's, that made her seem less mature than she really was, but being held back only made her seem more immature, and now she is 21 years old, just out of her first year of college – she wasn't allowed to go, you see, until she was older – and she had trouble concentrating in class because she even found college to be boring. And, well, this might seem like a contradictory statement, but… school is easier when it isn't so easy. That's CosmicKitten89's saying, not mine. And, well…

Well, it is rather unusual for anybody to dislike chocolate, and if you ask me, and Theodore, especially, she's missing out, but I don't see why people should begrudge her that. All that means is more chocolate for them, after all.

And since she works with children who have disabilities, she must be aware that being disabled doesn't necessarily make you any less intelligent or beneficial to society, as CosmicKitten89 will attest; unfortunately, the educational system, which recognized her as disabled first and gifted second, and the foster system where so many of them wind up due to parents who either don't want to be bothered or who really do care, as my sponsor's did, but are too stressed out by problems of their own to handle differently abled children, has held them back enormously by sequestering them from the real world and not allowing them to challenge themselves and spread their wings.

And it's not so long ago that CosmicKitten89 was last bullied – on Youtube, just a couple of days ago, as a matter of fact. A hater went to a bunch of her videos and made fun of her appearance and singing abilities and video-making skills and even her interest in us Chipmunks, telling her to grow up. And she continued to do so even after CosmicKitten89 told her exactly what was wrong with her. It's amazing how ignorant some people are. My advice to you: if you ever get bullied on the internet, take their comments with a grain of salt. You can fight them back, in a polite manner, to show that you can argue more intelligently than they can, or if they really bother you, you can flag their comments as spam and block them. Although that's what a lot of those trolls are going for…

Now, CosmicKitten89 acts sort of… silly sometimes, being as hyper as she is, but deep down she's really mature, and that is easier to see on the internet, where all people see is the maturity and cleverness in what she writes and not what she acts or looks like.

Thank you for your comment. I think I will handle the serious reviews in this episode, and save most of the fluffier ones for the next episode. Kaylie again:

**Can i ask advice from you? Just wondering.**

Simon: Of course. Fire away. Now this one's anonymous:

**Awwww, that was so nice of you to help Kayla Shayla! Your so sweet! Your so nice! I'm soooo sorry about your sponser! That's really cool that you r able to help Kayla Shayla with her problems because you have a friend that's went through some of the same things as her! You should join the friends of Rachel club. Your really good at helping people!**

Simon: Thank you. Well, my sponsor's not looking for sympathy, and there are many who won't give it to her; they will tell her to quit whining about her life and get a job even though she has problems that prevent her from getting hired so she will have to live on SSI until she's out of grad school and gets a real job. But first she's got to overcome her depression. She's DEPRESSED. Many people think that that's just an excuse for laziness, but I think that, all things considered, it's amazing that CosmicKitten89 has managed to remain so strong and managed to do what she has done. Writing fanfiction and making videos to connect with like-minded people over the internet is part of how she deals with it. It might seem childish, but you must remember that CosmicKitten89 didn't have a real childhood. The way she was exploited and used to leech money off the government for her disabilities and warehoused away from the real world and made to feel alone and like her family doesn't care about her anymore… just disgusting… but enough on that. I'll see if CosmicKitten89 will look into joining the Friends of Rachel club, and I'll see about joining with her.

Well, I guess I'll answer this one from Kaylie:

**Me again! so, i was wondering;**

**What are your favorite fanfiction stories? That's for all the chipmunks.**

**And i have another question, for the smart ones. What do you know about Trichotillomania? I have it, and i HATE it! I'll tell you more about it later, now's not the time.**

**Kaylie**

Simon: Well, that's a hard question… I do enjoy the TellTale Googly Specs that CosmicKitten89 wrote, but that's a Mario category story; I enjoy the Jimmymunks Power Hour as well, but CosmicKitten89 has been real lazy about updating that one… But I am glad that she finished Chessboxing; that's a good story, K plus rated, very much like a cartoon episode, even has a song in it, only things to worry about are the bloodless boxing violence, which is mostly me running away from being boxed, and brief discussion of bodily functions as excuses to go to the bathroom and change, in a sense. Very funny.

Jeanette: Well, I like those stories too, but my favorite would have to be the Swan Princess crossover that CosmicKitten89 did, Simonette This is My Idea. Oh, and Jeanette Answers Your Questions. Tiana Koopa hasn't updated that one in a while. I wish she would.

Theodore: My favorite has been Adam Seville's Wacky World. Especially after he started writing about the funny song parodies!

Eleanor: Well, I like this show. Don't you like your own show, Simon?

Simon: Well, that goes without saying…

Jeanette: I love it too. You put on a great show, Simon.

Simon: Thank you. Well, Alvin and Brittany aren't here, but there's no question what story they like best… their own show. Or whatever fanfic features them in the spotlight and basically kisses their behinds to make them look AWESOME…

Theodore: Their show makes them look awesome! Like the one time that-

Eleanor: That's not appropriate to discuss on this show, Theo. This show is for all ages; Alvin and Brittany's Midnight Party House is for grownups.

Theodore: Oh, right. Sorry.

Simon: Yes, I do know what trichotillomania is. It's when you have a habit of plucking your own hair out, usually the eyelashes, eyebrows, maybe from the inside of the nose, or around… certain other areas… and sometimes eating it. Jeanette has it, as Brittany mentioned in Alvin and Brittany's Midnight Party House, but that would be inappropriate to discuss on this show. CosmicKitten89 has it too, which is why her eyelashes are so short and not very full.

Jeanette: She can get fake eyelashes or volumnizing and lengthening mascara – when she can afford it, that is.

Simon: Oh, I've heard back from Sammy:

**Dear Simon,**

**I don't care if they apologize or not and I don't care if they flame me or not! Those three sluts deserve to be called BROADS! Here that! Yeah, that's right, I said! Because it's true! They deserve it! 'Cause y'know what, they were doing the exact opposite of what that Rachel chick was doing! They weren't helping, they were bullying you! They were calling you guys names and they were making you feel bad! That's not a Friend of Rachel! Those guys are the bullies! **

**And don't yell at me for trying to help you out! I only called them broads because they diserved it. They were yelling at yu and flaming you and whatnot! They were being horrible to you and I didn't like it. And I would very much appreciate it if you didn't yell at me for it! They're witches, wih capitol "B"s! And I don't care if the world knows it! Cause that's what they are, and you can't yell at me for telling the truth!**

Simon: Well, now you're being a bully yourself. At least they apologized. Do you think Rachel would want you to bully them back? I'm not yelling at you; I'm asking you politely to apologize, just as they had.

**Ooooh... Yikes. So, you saw Sammy's review? Yeah... That's not good. Talk about a slap in the face! I mean, OUCH! If it's not one thing, its another with you, isn't it, Simon? That could ruin HIS weekened. Now, don't you worry, Buddy. You sit this one out, we'll take care of this, okay? You did the same thing for us, remember? :) **

**I don't know if this will work, but here goes...**

**Dear Sammy,**

**I'm really sorry you feel that way about us. I know you're probably very, very, VERY upset with us right know, but would you mind not bringing it into Simon's show? Simon's show is for fans to ask questions to him regarding the movies, his cartoon series and his opinion on things, not to cause drama! **

**I also couldn't help bit notice that you have a quite... colorful vocabulary. Please keep in mind that there may be younger viewers here and they might not want, let alone need, to hear some of that language. So you should really keep that in mind. I always remember hearing when I was little, "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all," and that includes swear words. Even when you say the word "witch", even though it isn't a swear word, in fact it actually sounds kind of festive like for halloween! However, it sounds a heck of a lot like the other word that shall not be named, if you know what I mean. And when you add the "capitol B" at the begininng and...oooh! So in the words of Simon, himself, "Keep it PG," please, if you catch my drift!**

**We're NOT mad at you, we're not mad at you in anyway. We're not yelling at you, we're not flaming you. We don't think we're anny better than you. There are just certain times when you should fight and there are certain times when you should flight. And we're just choosing to flight. We don't think that snapping at you, like you want us to, helps. We sort of did that to Simon (again, really sorry about that Simon!) It just, kind of makes things worse. We, unfortunately had to find that out the hard way. No one likes the drama we keep putting in Simon's show, I discovered that when we started getting Flamed. Even when you're standing up for what you believe in, people just don't wanna see people fight. So, can we please just end it here, like civilized adults. PLEASE? Can we just, y'know, start over? Barry the hatchet, start on a clean slate like none of this ever happened? 'Cause the truth is, we don't wanna fight with you. And I'm pretty sure, deep down inside, neither do you. It takes two people to fight and we don't want to be one of those people. You just wanna be treated with respect and be respected for voicing your own**

**Opinion. We only know this because we wanted the same thing. But the truth is, your enlisting us in a war that we don't want to be apart of. So um, can't you just quit while you're ahead?**

**Thanks, **

**Kayla Shayla & Ashley AKA Friends of Rachel **

Simon: Thank you, Friends of Rachel. And I agree; the swear words should be saved for Alvin's show.

**Ok, why is everyone arguing and flaming? I mean, seriously, this is for asking QUESTIONS people! **

**And Kayla Shayla, i was thinking about suggesting a cleaner vocabulary myself! Personally, i HATE curse words. They stick in your brain (This is to people in general by the way) and they're near IMPOSSIBLE to get out! Even if you don't say them They'll stick in your mind, and when you're least expecting it, they'll pop out! **

**So sorry about not posting a question.**

**Kaylie**

Simon: That's exactly right. I wish more people would ask me science questions instead of spreading flames. I want to educate people, not fight, and I don't want my fans to fight either.

Jeanette: Here's a science question from izzy koopa:

**i have a science related question how do tornadoes form**

Simon: Hey, you were asking questions on Kooky Von Koopa's Mad Science Show, right? That Mario-category fanfic that CosmicKitten89 did? Now, all he does is science questions, which I like, although I don't approve of the way he has to have an explosion in every episode…

Well, anyways, good question. There are different ways via which a tornado can form. Some tornadoes form in a thunderstorm cloud, others form over the ground, and others form in the water. Basically, the first condition that must be satisfied for a tornado to form is for a vortex of wind to be form, which usually happens when the wind changes velocity abruptly at a certain spot. The details are quite complicated, and would probably go over the head of most of this show's viewers, but basically, you get the picture. You can try it yourself in the bathtub sometime. Push water in one direction with one hand, and push it in the other direction with the other, as hard as you can. If you do it right, you'll make a little whirlpool. The same basic thing happens when tornadoes are made. Now here's yet another one from Kaylie:

**Um, Would you mind my suggesting a little less (And by a little, i mean A LOT less) Unsuitable content? I mean, like Kayla Shayla said, we might have little kids who are looking to see your answers, and i don't think they should read that stuff. Heck, I STILL hate to read that stuff, but i want my questions answered! And could the colorful language PLEASE go down a bit? I don't see WHY you need to add that kind of stuff in the story, i mean, do you HAVE to? By the way, this isn't a flame, I was just telling you how i feel about the content. Luckily for me, i don't read much, just some of the questions i really want to hear the answers to.**

**Kaylie**

**P.s. Please don't take offence by anything i said. You don't even have to post it on the show.**

Simon: Well, I was thinking about censoring the bad language. I think I'll do it for the next one I get that's full of bad language.

Jeanette: Like this one?

**Friend of Rachel:**

**Shut up! Alright? Shut the (BLEEP!) up! And while your at it, why don't you pull hat pole out of your (BLEEP!) You don't give a (BLEEP!) about what the (BLEEP!)nyour saying! You (BLEEP!) (BLEEP!) are just saying that (BLEEP!) to impress Simon! Just admitt it! And don't you (BLEEP!) go telling me what I can and cannot say! I can say whatever the (BLEEP!)l I want! So shut up and leave me alone!**

Simon: My, that's a lot of bleeps. If you're mature and you want to know what kind of language Sammy here was really using, check the reviews section.

Theodore: The bleeps are really funny!

Simon: Now Sammy, if you are allowed to say what you want, then aren't they allowed to say what they want? Now, I've been awfully nice by posting your comments on the show, even though many would have just deleted them and ignored them. Now, if you have an APPROPRIATE question to ask me, I'll ask it; otherwise, I will from now on ignore your comments until you have something nice to say.

Kayla Shayla again:

**Oooooh! Well that didn't work! Sorry Simon, I was just trying to help, butwe just made it worse. :( I'm really sorry! **

Simon: It's OK, there isn't really anything anyone can do to change somebody's mind once it's made up. Now, don't take Sammy's comments to heart. You are not any of those things that Sammy thinks you are.

Now, Sammy, I do not mean to anger you, and I do apologize if I have said anything that has offended you. But from now on, like I said, I would appreciate receiving some nice comments and questions from you, OK?

Hmm… I think my fan Angie here sums it up pretty well:

**WHAT are we DOING? What is with the DRAMA and the CUSSING and the BACKSTABBING and the HATRED between fans. We are all people with equal rights, our own opinions living on the same planet, so what is the reason we cannot all get along? **

**All this DRAMA started with a voice. A simple, small voice that shouted out against BULLYING. All she wanted was to get the point across that she didn't like bullying and she wanted it to stop. She shouted out as a Friend of Rachel! Then, two other voices saw the error of the peoples ways and they wanted to help them. So they joined together and pleaded the people to stop their bullying ways and start a new. **

**But suddenly, voices of hatred cloud the voices of peace and the flaming started... Before we knew it they were enlisted is a WAR that they didn't remember signing up for, let alone wanted to even be apart of... Words of hate were thrown and wounded several others, but two brave girls stand strong to stop the war! But maybe we don't need someone to end the war, we just need everyone to join hands together and let peace shine through, and drop it. We need to put down our bullying ways and start walking in the footsteps of Rachel herself. I think that's what Kayla Shayla, Ashley and Fiona were trying to say from the beginning. She didnt want to hurt or offend anyone, she just wanted PEACE and LOVE for EVERYONE. Unfortunately, SOME PEOPLE fail to realise that.**

**So, tihs is what has to be done, we must:**

**1. STOP and THINK about what you are going to say before you say it.**

**2. BE CAREFUL, the WORDS you say have the power to HURT people, just like a SWORD. **

**3. Put YOURSELF in the place of OTHERS before you go TEASING, BULLYING or JUDGING. (That's not towards younpr Jeannette, Simon, you guys have been really good about being nice to others.**

**4. No more BULLYING! **

**5. No more JUDGING others!**

**6. No more TEASING! **

**7. No more DRAMA! **

**8. No more SWEARING and/or CUSS WORDS! (and that includes refering to someone as a "WITCH with a Capital 'B'".)**

**9. No more FLAMING!**

**10. Don't be afraid to voice your opinion, after all, NO ONE'S opinion is EVER wrong! Just DON'T voice your opinion in a DISRESPECTFUL way. **

**We are all living on the same planet, there's no reason we cannot get along like civilized human beings. **

**So, do you think we can do it? Do you think we can all just burry the hatchet and let by gones be by gones? I sure hope we can, Because, I'm really getting sick of the fighting wnd argiing and hatred! I hate to see fighting. It makes me sad, mad and for the most part, the fighting infuriates me!**

Simon: Thank you, Angie. Now, since we are all Chipmunk fans, we often get teased by others who don't understand our interests, don't we? So why can't we be united by our interest instead of at odds with one another? All you fans go on the internet to meet people who share your interests, since others with those interests might be scarce in our respective neighborhoods, so I imagine that it's not very pleasant to come across flames from people who have the same interests as you do. So please, I should be answering questions today instead of dealing with drama. Sammy, thanks to you, I won't be able to get to everybody's questions today. Wouldn't you rather I answered some of your questions instead of getting upset about my fans being upset?

Dani here is upset too:

**Whoa? Did you see what That one chick said? Holy guacamole! So much for keeping it PG! All the Friends of Rachel's people wanted to do is tell that crazy chick starts cussing because she's angery. There are fans out their with little brothers and sisters out there! And this chick is going to ruin their chances of them ever being able to watch this show! What parent is going to let a five year old kid watch this show? It's ridiculous! These kids are fans too and thy have questions just like us and now they can't ask their questions because ruined it! Watch your mouths! Keep it PG! For crying out lout!**

Simon: Hmm…

Here's one from Amytotallytexting309:

**Jeese, what's so hard about NOT swearing, people! I don't swear, a lot of people don't swear! Wats ao hard about saying:**

**darn or dang like "Gosh DARN it!" "Gosh DANG It"**

**astronaut **

**shoot or shitocki mushrooms**

**gosh like "oh my gosh!"**

**jerk off!**

**Gaul darn!**

**Holy Moley!**

**Jeese or Jeesum's Crow or Jessie Chris! You know, intead of saying the other thing. (I've been told your not supposed to say it!)**

**Sugar Honey Urban Tea (you know, i would say "ice" instead of urban, but i figured it was a tad bit inappropriate, dontcha think?) **

**biscuit or biscuit eating bulldog, like "Son of a Biscuit/ Biscuit eating bulldog!"**

**Banshee, like "Son of a Banshee!" **

**Snap(s) like "Oh, Snap(s)**

**Holy Slapsgiving (came up with this one myself! Lol)**

**Barnicles!**

**Tarter Sauce!**

**lint licker**

**mother Of pearl**

**Oh la la!**

**Sacré bleu!**

**Shut the Front Door!**

**See look at all of these lovely fake swears! Some of them are histaricle, while some of them are rather... interesting to say the least! Some of these very words have gotten me outta so much trouble! Some of them**

**I just say for the sake of saying! They're so much fun to say! Lol! **

**So, why can't we just use these? Please? **

Simon: (laughs) Hysterical. Although many people won't agree; the reason people swear is not to make people laugh, but to emphasize the points they are trying to get across; when a society declares a word to be profane, its usage therefore has a certain degree of power associated with it. However, when people use those words so often, they lose that power. So please, save your curse words for situations that really call for it; the less often you use them, the more powerful they will be when you do need to use them.

**To everyone who curses, HUSH UP! I mean, come on! It's just annoying people! This is a QUESTION show, there's no point in yelling at people you don't know. Kayla was just trying to help, and telling people to be nicer to one another. It's just stupid to keep getting angry about something of the past. Angie, Amytotallytextinging309, Dani, i have to agree with y'all. Sammy, i'm NOT flaming you, so don't pretend i am. And for goodness sakes, PEOPLE STOP WITH THE CURSING!**

**Please don't flame me. Please!**

**yours sincerely,**

**Kaylie**

Simon: Right. Again, we are not flaming you, Sammy.

**Dear Simon,**

**I just wanna start off by saying that you are amazing! Everything you do for all of these fans is amazing! Than you for being you!**

**I have some questions for y'all, if I may?**

**What is it like to be a famous rockstar?**

**when did you decide that you wanted to be a singer or a chemist or a scientist? Where did those goals come from?**

**why do you think everyone is flaming each other on your show?**

**Have you and your brothers had this problem before?**

**Are you a friend of Rachel, yet?**

**Merçi beacoup!**

**Erin**

**Ps- that was really brave of you to stand up to Sammy! I'm sure EVERYONE thought it was awesome!**

Simon: You're quite welcome.

Well, I do enjoy the power that comes with being a rock star. People actually pay attention and care what you have to say, which is awesome, to say the least, but I think people should listen to me because I'm an intelligent and educated scientist, not because I'm a popular and talented rock star. I wish people would care more about what scientists have to say.

Now, it was my brother Alvin's idea for us to be singers, but I decided on my own that I wanted to be a scientist when I was a young child. I read books to learn about science, and I found it very interesting, and, to my surprise and delight, I found that I was exceptionally talented at it, especially considering my age at the time. I figured, I could make discoveries and invent things that could solve all the world's problems, so it's important for me to pursue that, especially given how few people are as talented or ambitious as I am – NOT to brag or anything; but, well, I'm assuming that you wanted an honest answer…

Well, it all started when Kayla Shayla didn't like the way I was treating my brother Alvin. I apologized and so did she, but another viewer, Sammy, came along and said something nasty about Kayla and her supporters. I wouldn't tolerate that, so I asked Sammy to apologize, but Sammy got upset about that.

Well, I've had fans insult me for being nerdy and geeky and a dork, who told me to lose my outdated glasses and get contacts or laser surgery, but they are in the minority. Now, Alvin's received plenty of complaints about him bullying me before, and Theodore for that matter, but he doesn't take them seriously.

Like I said, I'm going to see about officially joining the Friends of Rachel.

Okay, I think I'll just do one more question and call it a week:

**As i was saying about the content. Well, if kids under the age of ten read the word, (Gulps) 'Sex life' then they'll ask their parents what it means. The first thing their parents say will be, "Where on earth did you hear that?" and they'll say, "From 'Ask Simon' on fanfiction." so their parents will want to read it for themselves, and find that it's not suitable for their age, and all the kids won't get to watch this. And all they want are their questions answered, and they won't get to know! So, please keep things at at least a K plus rating.**

**Thanks!**

**Kaylie**

Simon: Well, I don't know if you have checked, but this show has a T rating. It was originally rated K, but then Alvin went on and screwed the show up by making comments like that and so I had to change the rating. Also, a T rating allows me to discuss issues on the show that might not be child appropriate. It means that a certain degree of cussing is allowed on the show, but I prefer for there not to be too much of that myself. I recommend that young children have an adult or older sibling read the appropriate parts of the show out loud to them if they want to post some questions. Now, if you're a Mario fan, and you have science questions, you can ask Kooky Von Koopa on his Mad Science Show, which is K rated.

OK, everyone, I'm sorry that I didn't get to everybody's questions; I'll try to answer them all later this week. _Au revoir_, and _merci beaucoup_!

Oh, and don't forget to go to CosmicKitten89's profile and vote for your favorite Chipmunks Q & A show!


	12. Theodore's Cooking Show

Simon: Welcome back to the show, fans, and sorry about the wait. You see, CosmicKitten89 was a little busy with the Chipmunks Parody Show videos she was making for Youtube, and I was a little busy fixing Alvin's set for him, as well as inventing a few other things that I am going to be using on this show. Now, having read the one hundred or so reviews I have received since last show, I have seen that there has been a lot of drama between Sammy and the Friends of Rachel, and, at the request of the viewers, I am not going to post any of it. However, I will say this: I accept your apology, Sammy, if you are still reading this, and I highly encourage you to continue to submit your questions if you have any.

Now, today is Theodore's cooking show, and he will be fixing some of your food requests. Theodore, are you ready?

Theodore: Yes, I've got Ellie here to help me.

Simon: Good. Now, here's a food request from our biggest fan, Kaylie:

Hey Theodore! I wanted to suggest you making-

**1: Ice cream cake**

**2: Lime pie**

**3: Lemon meringue pie**

**4: Strawberry milkshakes**

**5: Chicken and dumplings**

**6: Lasagna**

**7: Pepperoni and olive pizza**

**8: Taco salad**

**9: Tacos**

**10: Vanilla ice cream**

**Ooh- i'm getting hungry!**

Theodore: That's an awful lot…

Simon: Not to worry! I have been busy creating kitchen gadgetry to assist you with your culinary endeavors!

Theodore: You mean like fast food? Because I like to take my time with cooking…

Eleanor: Come on, Theo, just try it! He's just making it easier for you, it's not like he's loading it with preservatives or trans fats.

Theodore: OK. Now, to make ice cream, we first need rock salt and a churner-

Simon: My cryogenic ice cream freezer allows you to skip the rock salt, and it churns itself!

Theodore: Like a soft serve machine? Cool!

(loads the churner with cream and vanilla beans)

Eleanor: I'll get started on the lasagna. It takes a long time to make.

Simon: And I'll begin beating the eggs and sugar to make meringue. Jeanette, are you going to lend a hand?

Jeanette: Um, I'm not very good at cooking…

Theodore: That's OK. Just make something easy, like the dumpling balls!

Simon: And the kitchen gadgets are easy to use, too!

Jeanette: (makes dumpling balls) Now I can use the leftover dough to make a pizza!

Simon, Eleanor and Theodore: NO…

Jeanette: (tosses pizza dough, and it lands on her head.)

(Simon, Eleanor and Theodore laugh)

Theodore: Leave the pizza tossing to me.

Simon: Here's another question… in French?

**Bonjour, Simon! Je m'appelle Emma et je vis en France. Je ne parle pas anglais, et, peut-être un peu, mais je ne parle pas couramment assez de vous poser ces questions en anglais. Bien que j'ai eu mon frère traduire une partie de votre montre à moi en français et l'un d'eux dit que vous ne spreak français. Si cela est vrai, pouvez-vous s'il vous plaît répondre à mes questions? J'aurais eu mon frère traduire, mais il se passe un voyage en Amérique pour étudier à l'école. **

**1. Où et pourquoi avez-vous appris le français? **

**2. Quel est votre film préféré? Et maintenant, les questions de ma petite sœur, Bretangne! Soyez gentil, elle est de cinq ans. **

**3. Que préférez-vous faire, sauter d'un dix pied de construction dans une piscine ou dix pied de construction sauter d'un immeuble en vingt oreillers? 4. Avez-vous déjà été en France, là où je vis? **

**5. Parlez-vous français? Merci beaucoup, Simon! **

**A plus tard!**

Simon: You know, this show is really supposed to be done in English, but since I happen to know French, I will translate your questions for the audience:

**Hello, Simon! My name is Emma and I live in France. I do not speak English, well perhaps a little, but I am not fluent enough to ask you these questions in English. Although I had my brother translate part of your show to me in French and one of them says that you do speak French. If this is true, can you please answer my questions? I would have had my brother translated, but he happens to be on a trip to America to study at school. **

**1. Where and why did you learn French? **

**2. What is your favorite movie? And now, my younger sister: Bretangne, has some questions! Be nice, she's 5 years old. **

**3 Would you rather jump from a ten foot building into a pool or from a ten foot building into twenty pillows? **

**4 Have you ever been in France, here where I live? **

**5. Do you speak French? Thank you, Simon! **

**Later! **

Simon: Well, I first learned how to read French so that I could read books written in French, but I wanted to become more fluent so I could talk to French people, knowing it would enhance the experience of trips to Paris and Geneva, so I took French classes in high school and college.

As for my favorite movie… well, i would have to say A Beautiful Mind.

Now, Bretangne, that would depend on how large those pillows are. If they are standard bed-sized pillows, then I would take the pool. Ten feet isn't really that high anyway. I thought that the French measured height in meters.

Yes, I have been in France, quite a few times. I've been there a few times to do concerts, and also to visit the University of Paris, which is the oldest university in the world, and the Louvre.

And yes, I do speak French, but I would rather not answer your questions in French on the show, because most of our viewers are English. And you're quite welcome.

Theodore: Ellie, can you cut the meat for the tacos and the chicken and dumpling soup? I'm a little squeamish about meat.

Eleanor: Sure. Jeanette, don't make a mess blending the strawberries into the milkshake.

Simon: Another one from Kaylie:

**Yo, Simon where'd you get the tickle collor? I want one!**

Simon: I built the tickle collar myself. I'm still working on the patent, though, and I doubt that the government would allow me to sell it. Here's another food request from her:

**Hey Theodore, could you please prepare Hawaiian haystacks? I REEEEAALLY like those! **

**Awe man, i was waiting all week for the answers to the questions. oh well, now i can post more :D! **

**ME OUT!**

Theodore: Hawaiian haystacks are also known as chicken sundaes. They are not really from Hawaii. I use chicken, rice, and gravy like hot fudge – I guess that's why it's called a chicken sundae!

Simon: And another one from Kaylie:

**Jeanette: Did you write anything in the valentine you gave Simon? If you did, then what did you write?**

**Simon: Why haven't you answered my question? You know, the one about question popping?**

**Theodore: What is your ABSOLUTE favorite food?**

**Eleanor: What is your favorite icecream flavor?**

**My sis Susan wants to know:**

**Eleanor: What was the first thing you ever baked?**

**Thanks again!**

Jeanette: I just wrote Happy Valentine's Day Simon, Love, Jeanette. I drew some fancy pictures in it, but they got ruined by the glue.

Simon: Question popping? You're going to have to resubmit that one to refresh my memory.

Theodore: I dunno… maybe pecan pie.

Eleanor: Well, I'd say it's a tie between vanilla bean and butter pecan.

Theodore: How about vanilla bean with pecan ripples and pralines in it!

Eleanor: Mmmm… The first think I ever baked was rolls for a bakery I worked at when I was a small child. I improved the recipe, and they got more customers, which was how we got to keep that job for so long despite being little chipmunk girls.

Simon: Um…

**Hey Simon! Remember me? You promised to go out with me, remember? Sure, you promised eight years ago, but it was still a promise! Who's Jeanette?**

**Your-all-time-favorite-girlfriend-**

**Jilian!**

Simon: I promised no such thing! And Jeanette is my all-time-favorite-girlfriend!

Jeanette: Um, Simon, read the next one.

**Hiya again Simon!**

**1: Why did they stop making alvin and the chipmunks cartoons and bring in those stupid CGI ones?**

**2: What's your favorite book?**

**3: Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit? I have, they taste great!**

**(Don't judge me, i was young, and stupid. but it did taste great!)**

**4: Have you read 'Leven Thumps'? THOSE BOOKS ARE AWESOME!**

**Thanks!**

**p.s. Did you see that comment by JILIAN? I wrote that! ha ha!**

**I wish i could have seen your face!**

Simon: Well, Ross and Janice wanted to try something new and different with the CGI chipmunks, you know, experimenting with chipmunks that actually looked, acted, and were the size of real chipmunks.

I believe I already mentioned what my favorite book is in a previous episode.

No, I have never eaten a dog biscuit, but Theo has.

Theodore: It tastes good at first, but then you chew it and chew it, and the longer you chew it, the yuckier it tastes.

Simon: No, I have never even heard of Leven Thumps. What is that series about, if you don't mind me asking?

Oh. I should have known that was a prank comment… Here's another one from Kaylie – my, my, does she like our show!

**Simon, everyone wants you to be a vampire because you would make a HOT one! **

**They should do an episode where you turn into one and Jeanette saves you!**

**(sighs) that would be so romantic!**

**But they wouldn't make it.**

**Why don't they like Simonette? It's my favorite couple!**

Simon: I guess because Jeanette and I aren't supposed to be the romantic ones.

Jeanette: I agree, Simon would be one hot vampire.

Simon: Kaylie also asks:

**What happened to Seymour? Please tell us!**

Simon: He's back in the alternate dimension, and he's not coming back. At least I hope not…

Ooh ooh, Theodore could you make these?

1: Pineapple upside down cake

2: Chipmunk soup. Just kidding!

3: Cookies

Thanks!

Theodore: What kind of cookies?

Simon: Jeanette, don't cut the pineapple! Here, we'll slice it using this slicing machine that is equipped with a safety sensor that stops it if it detects infrared radiation from an endothermic living creature so that it doesn't slice your fingers off.

This one's from The Chipette Protector:

**Wow, people seem to be getting crazy here...**

**Too all that feel a 'need' to swear - please don't. This is a nice show and we don't want it to be corrupted and get people upset because you don't have self-control.**

**Anyway here's some more questions:**

**Simon/Theodore - What do u think Dave would be like in the world where the Darkmunks was from?**

**Theodore - Can u cook a blueberry pie?**

**Ellie - How does it taste?**

**Jeanette - What would u do if the Darkmunks came back? and what if they made Simon forget all about u?**

**Simon - How do u know James Seville? And what would u do if u meet the 'munks from the movies?**

**Enjoy!**

Simon: Evil and abusive, I guess?

Theodore: The Darkmunks must have had a mean parent who bullied them.

Sure, I can cook a blueberry pie!

Eleanor: I'll tell you how it tastes when it's done.

Jeanette: I don't know… I would kiss him to see if it refreshes his memory.

Simon: Well, you introduced me to James Seville. If I met the movie 'munks, I would have an engaging conversation with my movie self to see how we compare and contrast with one another.

Theodore: I would cuddle with the little movie me!

**Ho...ly...cow...**

**Alright, stop flaming Si! This isn't even a Q & A show anymore, which it should be!**

**Now: My questions, assuming Theo, Ellie, and Jeanette will be with you:**

**Simon: Do you like chemistry class...or "chemistry" with "you-know-who"**

**Jeanette: Writing or reading?**

**Eleanor: Chocolate or candy?**

**Theodore: Same as Ellie's!**

**See ya next week, yo!**

**ChipetteGirl10 OUT! PEACE!**

Simon: I second that! Well, they're not flaming me so much as the other viewers. And now they're just apologizing and protesting the flames. It would really please me if you viewers would take the discussion somewhere besides my review section, because it makes it inconveniences me by making me have to search for the reviews from people who want their questions answered.

I do like chemistry class, but I'm afraid that I haven't done THAT kind of experiment yet…

Jeanette: Hmm, tough choice… writing, because it's a creative outlet that can earn you fame, awards, and money. Not that any of that matters to me so much as expressing myself. But I do like to read to learn things and enjoy other people's self-expression. After all, without readers, there would be no point in writing.

Eleanor: I already answered this one. Chocolate is my favorite candy.

Theodore: Mine too!

Simon: Here's one from chipmunkfanantic:

**Hey Simon How would you like to help me Prank your Brother Alvin I have been wanting to do this for quite some time but my Second Jill Seville has some requests for Theodore and Questions for Simon **

**1. Apple Cinimon Pie **

**2. Pepporni Pizza **

**3. Carote cake **

** Chip cookies**

** Bunnies **

** soupe (home made not Store bought )**

** Potato Chips **

** Crackers **

** Soda **

**10. Home made Icecream **

**and Now Questions from Adam Seville **

**Apparently your Brother Alvin just called me an a** and the only way i could think of Getting him back was to pull a Prank on him Quick Question have you or the girls Ever Pranked Alvin before ? **

**Jeanette who would you Duete with Me or Simon in a Parody ? I just had to ask this one **

**Theodore how do you feel for the People of Joplin Missouri? they just got hit with an f4 Tornado and I dont know how they must feel finding Dead Bodies Burried underneath all that rubble . **

**Eleanor it was on a gray day when I told Amber well before we broke up i told her that i was going to college and she told me to wait for her and I told her this I cant wait on you I have my Entire ahead of me if you get what i mean but ever since i did Graduate on Friday the 13th I had to take a look at my Self and see what needed to be changed and alot had to be changed anyway but Ellie do you think that Alvin can change ...you know if he wants to because I dont know if i am rady to Enter the real world and atleast live on my own i am jsut too Nervous so I was thinking I just need someone to talk too and you seem like the person that might help me so will you help me threw this ?thanks**

Simon: Well, I already helped you with the prank…

Theodore: Well, I'm already making homemade ice cream and pepperoni pizza… well, with olives. How am I going to make chocolate bunnies?

Simon: I have a rabbit-shaped candy mold.

Theodore: Thank you! Oh, and how do you make homemade soda?

Simon: You take a machine, like mine here, that carbonates water – that is, infuses it with carbon dioxide under pressure – and then mixes it with flavor syrup as you press the nozzle to make it pour out. That's how a soda fountain at a restaurant works.

Theodore: Thanks. Ooh, look at all the flavors!

Eleanor: Jeanette, put the potatoes in the slicer and set the slicer setting to extra-thin.

Jeanette: Did you know that potato chips were invented on accident by a cook named George Krum in Saratoga Springs, New York who was angry that the customer kept complaining that his fried potato slices weren't thin enough, so he sliced them so thin that they would turn crunchy from being cooked to tick the customer off on purpose, but the customer actually liked them! At least that's how the story goes.

Simon: Yes, we've pranked Alvin before. Or at least I have. Remember Theodore's Life as a Dog?

Jeanette: I would definitely do a duet with Simon; I'm not so sure about you, though.

Simon: Well, if CosmicKitten89, despite having ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome, and having been sequestered from the real world her whole life to boot, can make it across the country on a Greyhound bus ride, which involved changing buses three times, then I have the utmost confidence in your ability to make it in the real world.

She actually rode through Joplin, Missouri on the day that you graduated, I think… which was before the tornado hit. I'm sorry about that…

Now, this one is from FredWeasleyIshMINEEEEE:

**Okay,so first off I wanted to say:Is it okay if I write here? I mean im not popular most places. So I dunno if I have the authority. But,if I dooooo...Simon,would you ever date Brittany Miller? I mean,I know your deeply in love with Jeanette but... if she was dead..would you?Love,Kayleeeeee:)**

**Ps:Tell Alvin he's so hawt he made the sun scared to touch him.**

Simon: Of course you can post comments here. There is no rule that says that you cannot write somewhere on Fanfiction dot net just because you are not popular. No, I would not date Brittany Miller. Not even if something happened to Jeanette. Even if something happened to Alvin as well… well, Brittany is just not my type. I would find somebody who is more my type, as would she.

And I'm sure that Alvin would be thrilled to hear that.

Here's one from Knight of Renaissance Light:

**Hello, again.**

**Listen, I know you have replied on the thought of the episode "Sploosh" not being uploaded by ColonelShaw. But I need your opinion of this one: I have made contact with a fanfic writer whose father actually managed to tape the episode that I spoke of. The pen name is Ginnydabomb1993, and I just received a message that he is halfway through with converting the episode, due to his computer being so slow. Perhaps you could inform CosmicKitten89 of this startling news; maybe she can rally support in cheering on this average fanfic writer. Just as a thought.**

**Oh yes, and my question is this: Simon, if you had to relate, or at least find similarities in, Jeanette with any of the Disney princesses, who would it be and why? (This includes the new princesses, like Tiana, Rapunzel, etc.) Because, in personal opinion, her personality is like a hybrid of Cinderella and Belle, because she has Belle's intelligence and Cinderella's care for her family, despite how a certain chipette treats her (no offense to Brittany, I hope).**

Simon: It's actually Ginnydabomb1996, and I'm sure that CosmicKitten89 would be thrilled that somebody is actually going to upload Sploosh.

Well, I haven't seen Tangled, so I don't know about Rapunzel, but I agree that Jeanette is very much like Belle, but with Cinderella's unconditional loving care for her family despite being used as a doormat.

Jeanette: Brittany doesn't use me as a doormat! Well, not most of the time, anyway.

Simon: And Eleanor is definitely like Tiana, since she's hardworking and loves to cook, except she's a little more nurturing like Snow White, who also loves to cook, and Brittany is like… Well, like Aurora in that she likes pink and is always thinking about boys and dating, although they do not develop her personality much in the movie Sleeping Beauty, but more like Jasmine in that she's feisty and hardheaded.

Jeanette: Aurora actually wears blue in the movie more than she wears pink. But the Disney Princess merchandise usually shows her in pink because Cinderella's already blue – well, it looks more silver in the movie…

Simon: Thank you, Jeanette. The audience does not need to hear you rant about how silly it is to sell baby Ariel dolls with feet instead of fins when we all know that Ariel was a mermaid when she was a baby and never had feet until Ursula turned her into a human at age sixteen… I hope that my audience does not think any less of me for knowing so much about Disney movies…

Here are more food requests from Kaylie:

**Oh, and also **

**1: Strawberry shortcake**

**2: Ginger snaps**

**3: Ginger bread**

**4: Blueberry muffins**

**Sounds like a movie, doesn't it?**

Jeanette: Sounds more like a doll line, if you ask me.

Eleanor: We used to collect Strawberry Shortcake dolls – the ones from the 80s, not the new ones.

Jeanette: They released two very different new lines of Strawberry Shortcake dolls, and two separate series to go with them. The new-new dolls and cartoon characters look different from the old-new ones.

Theodore: There are plenty of leftover blueberries from the pie for making muffins with.

Eleanor: We're using fresh blueberries in our muffins. Way better than the fake blue flavor pellets they put in ready-made blueberry pancake and muffin mix.

Theodore: Hey, I like those!

Now, we don't add yeast to the dough that we set aside to make the ginger snaps with. The ginger bread gets shortening to make it soft, but the ginger snaps are made with butter to make them hard and crisp.

**... And Pear pie!**

Eleanor: Jeanette, can you get some pears? Please get firm ones, they stand up better during the baking process.

Jeanette: I don't like pears, but sure!

Simon: Hehe… Theodore, Kaylie and her sister have more food requests:

**Hey Theodore! Susan and I have a few food requests.**

**1: Apple Dumplings**

**2: Lemon cake**

**3: Chocolate cake**

**4: Fruit salad**

**5: Omelets**

**6: Eggs and bacon**

**7: Sausages**

**8: Biscuits and gravy!**

**9: Ice cream sundaes**

**10: Chocolate squares**

**11: Steak and mashed potatoes**

**12: Fried catfish and frenchfries**

**13: Pasta salad**

**14: Chief salad**

**15: Cream puffs**

**16: Strawberry cupcakes**

**17: Red velvet cake covered in creamcheese frosting**

**18: Cheesecake**

**19: Peppermint cake**

**20: Punpkin bread!**

**21: Lemon bars**

**22: Rock candy**

**23: Chicken pot pie**

**24: Roast chicken**

**25: Pumpkin pie**

**26: Apple pie**

**27: Homemade applesauce**

**28: Coconut cake**

**29: Peach cobbler (Easy on the sugar please)**

**30: Apple cookies**

**Like i said, a few! ;)**

Theodore: What do you think I am, a food machine?

Jeanette: And I never heard of apple cookies… but I can do rock candy!

Eleanor: Jeanette, go get the pears first. And while you're at it, we're going to need more apples, peaches, and pumpkin as well.

(Jeanette leaves for the store)

Simon: How am I-supposed to-answer questions when I-

Theodore: The blueberry pie's done. Ellie, how does it taste?

Eleanor: Mmm, very rich and sugary. But use less sugar for the peach cobbler, since they requested that.

Simon: OK, now I can put the steak in-

Theodore: But I'm baking the chocolate chip cookies next!

Simon: I wish I thought of inventing a larger oven…

Kaylie asks:

**hey simon, i was curious, if you and your brothers are triplets, why aren't you completely identical?**

Simon: We're fraternal triplets. That means that each of us came from a separate sperm cell and a separate egg cell, meaning our DNA is similar, but not identical. Chipmunks tend to have litters of 2 to 4, maybe 6, but the offspring are seldom identical. Now the armadillo, on the other hand, tends to produce identical quadruplets nearly every time it reproduces!

But even identical twins, triplets, or however many were born at once aren't necessarily identical in all aspects. CosmicKitten89, for example, is far more self-sufficient that her identical twin sister. CosmicKitten89 acts more like Jeanette and I, whereas her sister behaves more like, well, a cross between Theodore and Alvin or Brittany, I guess.

Hey, Theodore…

Theodore: Huh?

Simon: More food requests from Kaylie!

**Hey Theodore:**

**1: Fruit platter**

**2: Cookies and cream**

**3: Chinese food! **

**I wish you could've cooked on the show!**

Theodore: Aw, man… Good thing I brought Soba noodles!

Jeanette: I'm back! Here's a bagful of ripe fruit, and I also got catfish for that one recipe!

Theodore: Good. Now make the rock candy.

Jeanette: You just saturate the water with enough sugar so that if you added any more it would not dissolve. That way, as the water dries, some of the sugar will return to crystal form because there is no longer enough water to dissolve it all, and if the crystals collect on the string, then you have rock candy. It takes a while, maybe a couple of days…

Simon: Here's one from Munk19:

**Hey Simon, **

**Why did you pull that huge prank on Alvin's show? Was there a reason? Besides Alvin will be embarrased to come back on the show, now that you and the rest of you ruined it. I am not angry or upset, I just think that was way too harsh. Don't you think?**

Simon: Well, I felt bad too, but I helped him fix the set so that it's now better than it was before. I was just getting back at Alvin for the prank he pulled on me in the 3some episode. He came out with a new episode since theHey, Simon! Got some questions for you!

**Theodore: Are you and Ellie thinking about doing your own question-answering show?**

**What's your favourite sandwich?**

**Eleanor: What's your favourite rock song?**

**What did you think of Theodore when you first met him?**

**Simon: How well can you see without your glasses?**

**Have you ever tried contact lenses before?**

**Can you name three reasons why you love Jeanette?**

**Jeanette: Have you ever stood up to Brittany before, instead of Eleanor standing up for you?**

**What are your top three favourite Pixar movies & why? (Mine are Cars, Finding Nemo, and Toy Story 3! It made me cry!)**

**Please answer my questions! Awesomo3000 out!n, by the way.**

Theodore: I kind of want to do Alvin's show, but he won't let me… Well, I want to do a food show, but I don't feel like I'm ready right now; I'm having a hard time handling this one!

My favorite sandwich is egg salad with Swiss cheese with pickles, tomatoes, lettuce, chopped celery, and lots of mayo!

Eleanor: Well, that's a tough question… I do like I Love Rock N Roll!

I thought he was cute when I first met him, but when he accidentally got food on me I thought he meant it.

Simon: I can see up close clearly, except for the distortion due to my astigmatism. If it's more than a foot away from my face, I cannot read it.

Alvin's made me wear contacts before, but they give me conjunctivitis.

Why I love Jeanette:

She's smart, she's sweet, and she loves me back.

Jeanette: But I'm beautiful too, aren't I?

Simon: Yes, but I didn't want to be shallow.

Jeanette: Well, yes, sometimes I stand up to her, like when I was upset about what she was writing about me in her diary.

Well, I haven't seen Toy Story 3 yet…

My favorite three Pixar movies are Toy Story, because it's the original and the best, and although the animation pales in comparison to more recent CGI, it was stunning and revolutionary back in the day, and it showed a lot more effort and detail than a lot of modern movies, such as in how realistic the toys are, just like the real ones! – and also A Bug's Life, because I love the ant's eye perspective on the world it gives us, and WALL-E, because it's got good scripting, like a Nebula Award-winning sci-fi tale!

Simon: WALL-E is my very favorite.

Now here's a serious question from Kaylie:

**Yes, I have Trischotillomania. I've had it since before i turned 12. i'm 13 now. We've had to cut my hair to get it even, but the back won't grow. I don't know what to do! my hands always want some sort of texture, and when i find a piece of hair, i pull it, curl it with my nails, and then feel it. this is my subconsious mind, and my own mind is too lazy to stop it. My parents have all these ideas, and i'm sick of them trying to help. I decided to just STOP! but i can't! I know that i'll have to do it myself, but this is so hard!**

**Does CosmicKitten89 have a solution? I have all these bristles on top of my scalp, and my once beautiful red hair is almost gone!**

**I just needed to write about it. I don't know why i like to write about it. i just do.**

**Kaylie**

Simon: Well, I believe that CosmicKitten89 had it when she was 9, and it got worse a couple of years ago, perhaps when she got out of school and her foster mother wouldn't let her go to college for a few years, and she got bored… but she plucks her eyelashes, not the hair from her head! What I would suggest doing is finding something to do with your hands, such as painting, drawing, typing, fiddling with a Rubik's Cube, even just squishing a piece of clay around – anything that can be equally addicting. Finding a new habit won't prevent it entirely, but it can lessen it enough so that your hair can grow back. If your parents already suggested that, well, then maybe you haven't found the right habit yet.

**Here's another question from Kaylie:**

**What are y'all's favorite scenes from alvin and the chipmunks?**

**Did you read any of Colenalshaw's stories? They kind of killed a few of you several times.**

**And flamers, do you see the words at the bottom of the review box screen? here, let me copy them:**

**A well rounded critique is often the most rewarding gift a reader can give . Please use this golden opportunity to offer a well deserved praise and/or tips for improvement. **

**Kaylie**

Simon: The movie, you mean? Well, I like when I got shot into the pool.

Jeanette: I like when he hops on top of Dave and tells him to wake up for Christmas! So uncharacteristically zany of him!

Theodore: I like when I'm eating all the Lucky Charms! Or were they Goldfish?

Eleanor: I like when Theo's scared and wants to go beddy-bye with Dave… awww…

Simon: Well, I haven't read any of the stories in which I got killed… I found one in which Jeanette got killed…

Now from UniqueRosa Damascena:

**Hi Simon!**

**What was the first song you song in front of Jeanette and in a live concert and if you haven't done that what song would you sing to her and in a live concert?**

**Thanks,**

**UniqueRosa Damascena**

Simon: Well, I've sung lots of songs to her with my brothers, but never any solo. If I did a solo for her, it would probably be "She Blinded Me With Science" – oh, wait, I did that for her at a Mensa convention. It wasn't really a concert, though.

Now one from… Lord Odortherex?

**Just in case you don't know, I represent my creator, Knight of Renaissance Light, as he had some other questions he forgot to add. As much as I loathe my archenemy, I do owe him a substantial debt. So here goes:**

**1) An opinion from Simon: If K of RL did a songfic on you and Jeanette, based on Alan Jackson's "Remember When," would you despise, tolerate, or appreciate it? If you haven't listened to it, here is the link: .com/watch?v=TTA2buWlNyM**

**2) Jeanette, if you could place yourself and Simon in any fairy tale, which would it be and why?**

**3) A request from "His Majesty". Would it be a bother if he were to request that you got Alvin and Brittany guest-star? Just to sing a duet of Celine Dion's and Peabo Bryson's "Beauty and the Beast"? Cause there is a "Chipmunked" version of that particular song? It's on this link: .com/watch?v=NdHxPOQeLP4**

**Well, that takes of part of my debt. And just be careful where you step once I gain access to your world and take it over. Mwahaahaahaa!(clears throat) That is, as soon as I get out of my debt and regain my powers, of course. Okay, goodbye for now.**

Simon: Well, I'm not crazy about country music, but I would tolerate a fanfic of us with it. K of RL is free to make whatever kind of fanfics he wants.

Jeanette: Well, I dunno… I cannot think of a fairy tale about a brainy prince and a brainy princess… maybe The Swan Princess, just because I like that movie so much?

Simon: Well, I'll see about getting Alvin and Brittany to guest-star next week.

Oh, and good luck taking over our world. The Darkmunks already tried, and failed.

Ooh, I do like this one, from Kaylie:

**I was wondering, what causes a black hole, how, and why? I need to know about them because i'm writing a science fiction story, and Black holes are a main part of it. Please tell me everything you know.**

Simon: Good question. The theory goes that a black hole is what happens when matter gets so densely compacted that the escape velocity goes past the speed of light, meaning that nothing can escape its gravitational pull. You see, the gravitational acceleration is determined by the mass of the pulling body, multiplied by the universal gravitational constant G, which approximately equals 6.67 times ten to the power of negative sixteen, in units of newtons times meters squared over kilograms squared. All of this is divided by the square of the radius of the pulling body. For earth, this all equals out to approximately 9.8 meters per second squared, and this acceleration is the same regardless of the mass of the object. Now, this equation can be rearranged so that we get the escape velocity, which is how fast an object has to go to escape the earth's gravitational pull so that it won't fall down onto earth again. Now, this depends on the ratio of the mass of the object to the square of its radius, which is very great for a black hole, resulting in a gravitational pull that even light cannot escape, hence the blackness. Please ask if you need additional clarification.

Simon: This one's from Adam Seville:

**Simon it feels like i have used you to my own means and now look at you got some people pissed and its my own undoing I used you Jeanette Theodore and Eleanor sure the Prank worked but to what end and does it Justify the means I just dont know if i can continue with my show anymore Maybe i should shut it down and let the people get back to asking Questions to your show and Alvins and let my fans do what they do best Because it feels like i hav failed in trying to get my show real big but if the four of you dont wanna have anything to do with me then thats fine I now broadcast from underground where I dont have to even worry Proably its the best Ill see you in a few years see ya**

Simon: We all forgive you, Adam, even Alvin does. Now I do like your show, and you should continue to air it. This one's from Susan:

**Simon: Did you ever get an answer wrong in school?**

**And when are you going to answer my questions?**

Simon: Well… yes, we all make stupid mistakes, sometimes in math, when my head's in outer space and I miscalculate, or in history, if I've been misinformed…

I will answer the rest of your questions when Alvin and Brittany come on the show.

Here's one from your sister Kaylie:

**Hey Simon and Jeanette, i need your opinion on the scariest psychological horror short story. I've read some of Poe, I'm writing my own, but i need something scarier to read. Any options?**

Simon: Well, I haven't read a whole lot of psychological horror short stories, just Stephen King's lengthy novels. How about you, Jeanette?

Jeanette: Well, there are some good ones on Fanfiction, such as The TellTale Googly Specs that CosmicKitten89 wrote.

Simon: That's right! I highly recommend it, it's… well, not a spoof of The Tell-Tale Heart, but it's similar in theme. It's in the Mario section, though, so you have to be familiar with Mario characters such as Bowser and the Koopalings and E. Gadd. You know who they are if you play New Super Mario Bros. Wii and Luigi's Mansion.

Now, who is this Eddie Seville:

**Hey Simon I am totaly new to this So lets just say that our Lead Singer is Just as Hot headed as your Brother Alvin is Beleive me I didnt know what was going on I was just hanging out at the Studio taking care or Techinical Stuff and whatnot but when i heard of Alvin's Show getting Pranked was the First one to chew im out Something i know 80's Brittany would do . But that's not the issue the issue is that Adam should have Listened to what we all had to say about this . But anyway I do have a Question for you . **

**Simon ,My Brother Adam was checking out the review Box and found out that the Friends of Rachel or who ever they are was picking on Sammy for being a Bully and yea some of the things she said were kinda hurtfull but then again they were the ones being the Bullies and they were the ones that drove here away and now come to find out that they are Apologizing to her and making all those Promises that we know that they could and couldnt keep but moving on . **

**Simon , How do you Handel Getting pranked by Alvin and Same Question for Jeanette Theodore and Eleanor if they are going to be on the show but I dont know why Adam did that I just hope he learns from his Mistake and tries Next time to think it threw before doing something as Drastic as that and this is not a flame in anyway at all**

Simon: Well, I try not to show how upset I am, for that only makes him want to prank me more.

Eleanor: Well, I get really angry at him.

Theodore: If it's a really mean prank, I cry…

Jeanette: So he feels sorry for you. I try to turn the other cheek…

Simon: And I suppose that Paul Seville is Adam's brother as well:

**Yea what Jill Said we didnt know Adam was going to do something as drastic as this we just didnt. and we let him do it anyway man were we stupid enough to even let him do it maybe he did it for the right reasons but still it came at a high .**

**price sometimes we just dont know what to do with him and we are all CGI by the way and well lets just say we tryed to convince him that doing that Prank was a bad Idea. but our Top lead Singer would not listen to us and we are a band of 10 . combining the Chipmunks the Chipettes and us 3 Oc's with has made Adam our leadsinger but. still thou he should have Listned to us in the first place or none of this would have happened and your Brother Alvin needs to cool down and just forget that none of this ever happend and move on if you get what i mean thou Simon**

Simon: OK… And here's Jill Seville:

Hey Simon ,

**My brother indeed does feel pretty bad but he did help out with Cleaning Alvin's Set by Sending over a Cleaning Crew while Doing his Show underground and the reason is beacuse Alvin never had the Chance to get him back so let me just say this I didnt know my Brother was going to pull that prank on him if i did i would have Stopped him and told him whats what but I couldnt even my fellow Band members tried to tell him but my brother is So Hot headed that he didnt listen to us at all so we let him find out the hard way and its the Exact Situation with you and Alvin . Alvin pulls a prank and he gets yelled at mostly by Brittany or you . But the point i am trying to get at is you should Consider what your going to do before you go threw with it and the SAME thing applys to both my Brother and Alvin as well even thou my Brother doesnt come up with Scemes like your Brother does . but Anway i do have a Question for you anyway **

**Simon how do you and Theodore and the Chipettes put up with your Alvin? because with our Alvin there is no Problem we always talk things out and come to a Solution just by talking it out weather is before a Concert or during practice . Thats right Simon we are a Parody band or Better known as Adam and The CHipmunks .**

Simon: That's good. Anyway, here's Sheryl Seville:

**Hey Simon I have never heard of your show before I just wanted to tell you that your show is great but I have a show of my own and so does Jill like your Show Simon our show's are just like yours but with oh how do you putit ... awww More Features but as the old saying goes Better features do not make a better show . But i do have some Questions for you . **

**Simon I have been told that you get some Flames why ? **

**Also in the Story while they are away Adam has read that Alvin actually takes Jeanette on a Friendly outing while his Best friend James gets Married Meanwhile you and Brittany do some Studies over seas is this Story true? beacuse i Hardly buy Jeanette putting up with Alvin .**

**there was also a story based that Alvin walked into the Bar one night and found Jeanette on the Bar Bare foot dancing he got her hoem and well lets just say that she pursuaded him to have sex with her i can remember the name but in the end they get marred and have a girl named Elise and in the other then end up having a girl named Harper Simon I recomend the Story while ther're away check it out the name of that Story is What now I finally remember took me awhile but the name Clicked**

Simon: No, that's not true, that's just a fanfic. And neither is that other one… Jeanette wouldn't do that.

Oh, as for the flames… long story. Watch some of the earlier episodes and you'll see how it all started.

Oh, look, another science question from Kaylie:

**Science question:**

**I don't really understand einstein's equation, E=MC2. I know what the letters stand for and all, but what's it supposed to be about? What does it mean? When do we use it?**

Simon: Well, you see, mass is a form of energy. This equation tells us exactly how much energy is in a given amount of matter. Take the mass of any object, multiply it by the speed of light squared, and that's how much energy exists in the form of matter.

It's a very important equation. Take nuclear energy, for instance. When a nuclear bomb explodes, it's because some of the mass from the nuclei is converted into kinetic energy. So if you were to take all of the explosion by-products and weigh them, you would find that they would weigh less than they did before the explosion.

Oh, and when you heat something, you are making the molecules move faster, which adds energy to them… and there is another equation that tells you how much heavier they become when you add energy to them. That's right, when you add energy to matter, part of that energy becomes mass.

Oh, and Theo, Kaylie sent you more food requests:

**Yo! Theodore! I'm real sorry you didn't get to cook, i was looking forward to you starring in the show a bit more. But, anyway, my requests are:**

**1: Lemonade sickles**

**2: pina colada (No idea how to write that word)**

**3: cinnamon cookies**

**4: Fried chicken**

**5: buttered rolls :)**

**6: Mashed potatoes and gravy (did i already suggest that?)**

**Done!**

Theodore: Darn! And I was almost done with everything!

Simon: Well, pina colada is spelled correct, except for the absence of the tilde mark above the n to change it in to the Spanish letter pronounced "en-ye". I don't think you can write one of those on the Fanfiction review section.

And here's another question from Kaylie:

**Simon, i was curious; what is your opinion of us dropping the H bomb in japan? I know we had to, but it just seems so horrible. Like my mom says, it's like 2 kids pointing water guns at the other, and saysing, "I'm gonna shoot you" "Oh yeah, well, i'm gonna shot you first" **

**I know Japan did it to us first, on sunday, when no one was prepared, and that's just horrible. I kind of wish no one had ever made bombs. but, then again, there's a reason for everything. So, what's your opinion?**

Simon: Well, it was the only way they could think of to end the war, since Japan would not surrender, but I don't think they had to destroy innocents. If they had to drop a bomb on someone, it should have been on the soldiers, and not the innocents.

As for bombs, well, they were created by talented physicists who wanted to prove that they could create an atomic bomb, but many of them felt bad afterwards, and many refused to work on it despite all the money they would have earned.

Simon: Whew. Now that was one long three and a half hours. Theo, how are you handling all those extra recipes?

Theodore: A… little help here?

Simon: Something spells burnt. (Opens the oven)

Jeanette, you shouldn't have put the coconut cake, the cinnamon cookies, and the apple pie all in the oven at the same time! They require different cooking times and temperatures!

Jeanette: Sorry.

Theodore: Well, when we're all done with everything, we'll serve it. Hopefully there will be leftovers for next show!


	13. Alvin and Brittany Are Back!

Simon is back on set with Theodore and Eleanor finishing up the food from the last show, Jeanette sitting on the sofa next to him, and Alvin and Brittany bawling and surrounded by used Kleenexes.

Simon: Welcome back everybody, and sorry for the delay. You see, I promised Alvin and Brittany that they would be on the next show, and, well, it was quite an ordeal to get them out of, ahem, prison. They had been arrested for underage drinking on their show, and their show has been canceled.

Alvin: WHY? WHY DID THEY HAVE TO CANCEL IT? WHY?

Simon: Well, I told you not do such irresponsible things on the show…

Brittany: And they put us in JAIL! For TWO WHOLE DAYS!

Alvin: IT WAS TERRIBLE! THE TOILETS WERE DISGUSTING! AND-

Brittany: THE CLOTHES!

Alvin: THE FOOD!

Simon: Calm down, both of you. You are lucky that you weren't incarcerated for two whole MONTHS! The only reason you got out so quickly was because you are rich celebrities that can afford bail!

Anyway, we need to address the viewer's questions, which have been backed up for quite a while, partly because they include some questions for you two. Darn, it's so hard sifting through all these reviews, some of which aren't even questions to be put on our show, to find the ones I was saving for you two… Oh, and by the way, Alvin, FredWeasleyIshMINEEEEE says that you're so hot you made the sun scared to touch you.

Alvin: Well, that does make me feel a little better…

Simon: All right, here's one from Kaylie, who is now a registered author on Fanfiction – congratulations, by the way, on becoming an author, Kaylie98!

**Alvin: Who's better at singing? you or Brittany?**

**He he he!**

Alvin: Well, I am, of course! That's why I am more famous than you!

Brittany: No, you're more famous than me because you were discovered first, while my sisters and I were stuck in New York waiting tables and doing other jobs that babies shouldn't have to do…

Simon: All right, that's enough, you two! Here's another one from Kaylie:

One more Question from Susan!

**Brittany: what would you do if alvin gave jeanette a Diamond?**

**just wondering...**

Brittany: Well, then he better hope that it was a non-gem quality diamond that he gave to her for scientific purposes, or I'll

Simon: Watch it, Brittany! Please, no foul language on the show. This isn't your Party House…

Brittany: Ohh, the PARTY HOUSE!

Alvin: Please, Simon, isn't there anything you can do about it?

Brittany: Because if you don't…

Alvin: We'll be back on the next show…

Brittany: And the next and the next and the next…

Alvin: Whining and bawling until they give us our show back.

Simon: Well, I'll see what I can do…

Anyway, there are lots more questions, here's another one from Kaylie:

**Simon: History or Geography?**

**Eleanor: Ice cream or cake?**

**Theodore: McDonalds or Burger King?**

**Jeanette: Star Wars or Harry Potter?**

**Alvin: Paper or plasic?**

**Brittany: Nail Polish or lipstick?**

**Just curious ;)**

Simon: Hmm, that's a tough choice. Geography tells you how the countries and cities and their borders are on the world and how they're divided, but history tells you how they got to be that way.

Eleanor: Wow, I like both, especially together at a birthday party. But ice cream can be eaten on its own, while cake makes you thirsty and can be a bit sickening if you don't eat it with ice cream.

Theodore: Burger King is better, but I like McDonald's too.

Jeanette: Are you talking about the books or the movies? Because I like the Star Wars movies better than the Harry Potter movies, but I like the Harry Potter books better than the Star Wars movies.

Alvin: Paper or plastic… Hmm, I like plastic because it stretches. Paper just rips and it's so annoying… but I never have to make that choice because Simon forces me to do my shopping with reusable bags.

Brittany: And I force him to do the grocery shopping in the first place. He shops for food while I shop for clothes and makeup. Speaking of which…

Hmm, nail polish or lipstick…

Lipstick. I can always hide my hands with gloves or something, and my nails do look pretty on their own, but without lipstick I look like a pale face geek.

Simon: Here's a good one from Kaylie:

**Alvin: How was it, kissing Brittany in 'the legend of sleeping Brittany'?**

**Brittany: How many times did that kiss take?**

**Just curious. You know. Yeah. I should stop talking. Goodbye.**

Alvin: Aww, kissing her was SWEEEET! That other guy wouldn't kiss her on the lips, just the cheek…

Brittany: They only had to do it once, since Alvin's back was to the camera, so they couldn't see how bad he was at kissing me. It was DISGUSTING! Alvin wasn't a good kisser back then…

Alvin: Come on, Britt, you know you liked it!

Simon: Here's another one from Kaylie:

**Simon: What's your favorite book?**

**Jeanette: What's you favorite movie?**

**Brittany: Your favorite kind of Make-up?**

**Eleanor: Favorite type of ice cream?**

**Theodore: Favorite dessert?**

**Alvin: favorite Video game?**

**:]**

Simon: I already stated on a previous episode that my favorite book is _Principia Mathematica_ by Isaac Newton, but I am also fond of the Oxford English Dictionary.

Jeanette: We already answered these questions, except for you, Brittany and Alvin.

Brittany: I like Bare Minerals. It hides all the freckles on my face and makes me look like a movie star.

Alvin: You are a movie star. My favorite game is Guitar Hero.

Simon: Another one from our biggest fan Kaylie:

**Theodore and Eleanor: What were you two thinking while you danced in the valentine's special?**

**Jeanette: While you danced with Simon, I noticed you blushing. How come?**

**Simon: What do you think about the CGI chipmunks? Personally, I don't really like them.**

**Alvin: What is the best prank you've ever done?**

**Brittany: Was there ever a time when you tried to kill Alvin- on purpose?**

**Later!**

Theodore: I was thinking about that yummy cake she baked for me!

Eleanor: And I was thinking about those cookies you made me… oh, and about how yummy you were, too.

Jeanette: (blushes) Well, wouldn't you blush if you were dancing with Simon?

Simon: Well, I think it's neat that Ross and Janice decided to experiment with realistic chipmunks, but I don't think they got my personality down right. Also, they seem to give Alvin and even Theodore a lot more screen time than I; ditto for Jeanette as compared to the other Chipettes.

Alvin: Well, there was that prank that I played on Simon to get him on my show, and then we-

Simon: KEEP IT PG, ALVIN!

Brittany: Well, never on purpose… unless you mean figuratively…

Simon: Well, Spring-Heel Jaqueline has been complaining about us not answering this question of hers:

I specifically asked for ALL opinions on the questions that stated it:

**Once again, how would EACH describe the three incarnations of Dave Seville(60's Dave [.com/characters/Alvin-The-Chipmunks/Dave-Seville/] = Ross Bagdasarian Sr.; 80's/90's Dave [.] = Ross Bagdasarian Jr; 00's Dave [.com/celebrities/jason-lee]- Jason Lee)? I am planning to incorporate all three into one in my story SHADES OF GRAY. As well as Janice Karman and their kids? (And in my defense, nobody responds to my pleas under the author's note)**

**Chipettes, what are your opinions on the attire worn in the live action movies compared to the ones in the cartoons? Speaking of clothes, did either of you chipmunks ever wear pants under those oversize sweatshirts in "The Alvin Show" and "Alvin and The Chipmunks?"**

**What are each of your opinions on Clyde Crashcup (and Leonardo)? How would each of you describe them?**

**What are each of your intake on voice comparison/contrast of the people (Ross Bagdasarian Sr. voicing all three chipmunks and Dave in THE ALVIN SHOW; Ross Bagdasarian Jr. voicing Dave, Alvin & Simon; Janice Karman doing Theodore and the Chipettes in ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS; Jason Lee-David Seville, Justin Long-Alvin, Matt Gray Gubler-Simon, Jesse McCartney-Theodore, Christina Applegate-Brittany, Anna Faris-Jeanette & Amy Poehler-Eleanor in CGI/LIVE ARCTION) who portrayed you? What are your opinions on them?**

**And one unrelated is before they took the Miller's name, what did the Chipettes' use for a last name?**

Alvin: Well, I think that 50s-60s Dave is g- I mean f- well, something inappropriate to state in front of little kids, according to KAYLIE, so just fill in the blanks. Ross Sr. is cool, though. I think 80s Dave is a cranky old man, and the new Dave is even worse… As for Janice, well, she is hot for a woman her age. I don't know about the kids…

Simon: Their names are Michael and Vanessa, and, well, I don't know much about them. I think that Ross Sr./50s-60s Dave is a very interesting, quirky guy. 80s Dave is a very caring parent, as is Ross Jr., who is also very intelligent, having graduated from Stanford and Southwestern Law School. Janice is a sweet and creative woman, and Jason Lee is – well, not exactly who I would have pictured for Dave.

Theodore: I think that Jason Lee makes a good Dave. Michael and Vanessa are nice kids, I think. Ross Sr. and Old Dave are kind of mean, because they favor Alvin over me and Simon. 80s Dave is really nice, and he cooks well too. New Dave is really nice too, even though he acts mean on the outside. Janice is very sweet and I bet she's a really nice mommy.

Brittany: Well, I think that Ross Sr. and Old Dave are sexist for not creating me and my sisters! 80s Dave is hot, though, and so is Ross Jr., despite being 60-something. And they are really good people as well. But I'll bet the kids are spoiled brats. Janice is awesome, she created me and my sisters! New Dave is very hospitable, even though he clearly hates having us, especially ALVIN, in the house.

Jeanette: Brittany, Ross Sr. was a product of a sexist era, that doesn't make him a bad person! He and Old Dave are actually quite unconventional all things considered. Ross Jr. and 80s Dave are very sweet people, the nicest men you will ever meet. And Jason Lee/New Dave is too, although he can be pretty dirty at times, having played Earl on My Name Is Earl. Janice is a very creative and beautiful woman. I'm glad that they have kids to take over for them when they're gone, although there is a possibility that they won't want to be Chipmunk people and they'll just sell the franchise to Disney or something like that… Hopefully Ross and Janice have raised them better than that.

Eleanor: How exhausting… I think Ross Sr. is somewhat funny. Perhaps even more so than Ross Jr., who's a little more conventional. New Dave is a bit of a nag, but only because he cares about us. Janice is a neat woman, although she clearly favors Brittany. I hope that the kids follow into the family business, I think that they are greatly interested in us.

Simon: Now for our opinions on Clyde Crashcup… What can I say? He's a nutcase who plagiarizes things on accident. The only original invention of his I can think of is his time machine, and even that was a piece of junk. I helped him to fix it, and he even took credit for my brilliance! I met him in the episode Back to Alvin's Future; you can watch it on Youtube.

Alvin: In a word… full-of-hot-gas.

Theodore: Crazy-funny.

Brittany: Stupid.

Jeanette: …Interesting. And eccentric.

Eleanor: Pompous.

Simon: As for Leonardo… sane.

Alvin: Short… and too quiet.

Theodore: Funny.

Brittany: Ugly.

Jeanette: Clyde's better half.

Eleanor: Clyde's straight man.

Alvin: I like the way Ross Jr. does my voice best! Although he can be a bit corny at times… Justin Long adds some cool edge to my voice! But Ross Jr. makes me sound like a slow freaky alien.

Simon: I agree with Alvin on Ross Jr. He makes my voice sound so… smart. I wish that Ross Sr. put that kind of character to my voice. And I also love the tender caring voice he lends to Dave. Ross Sr.'s voice makes for a more upbeat yet irritable Dave. Gubler's voice adds a certain character; different, but still suitable for me, since even with the pitch raised, Criminal Minds fans will recognize it as the voice of the highly intelligent Dr. Spencer Reid. The pitch isn't raised quite high enough, however.

Theodore: I like the way Ross Sr. makes me giggle! And it's also cool being voiced by a girl in the 80s show; that way I sound younger and more like a kid than my brothers! But Jesse McCartney is good at giving me a sweet baby voice too!

Brittany: I like the way Janice makes me sound, she is really talented, but she's too old now. Christina Applegate sounds good on me; she makes me sound more like a Hollywood diva, although I act like less of a Hollywood diva in that movie.

Jeanette: It's kind of neat that Janice made us sound different from each other. She made me sound shy and sweet and high-voiced. Anna Faris does a good job at that kind of voice too, though. She plays the geeky girl in Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, so I guess she's appropriate for me… Then again, she also plays The House Bunny…

Eleanor: Janice put on a chipper and warm voice for me. Amy Poehler's voice is giggly and full of character, which is why Ross and Janice selected her to do me – they wanted to make me all giggly the way Theodore was in the 50s and 60s. (giggles)

Jeanette: Well, before we got with Miss Miller, we were Brittany, Jeanette and Eleanor Chipmunk.

Simon: Well… What can I say? Whew! I hope we helped you out there, Spring-Heel Jaqueline! If we missed anything, please tell us!

All right, more questions from Kaylie!

**okay, questions. um,**

**Alvin: Wii or Xbox?**

**Simon: Horror or Romance? (Movie types)**

**Theodore: Chocolate or vanilla?**

**Brittany: Earrings or bracelets?**

**Jeanette: Star wars or Harry Potter?**

**Eleanor: Pie or cake?**

**:)**

Alvin: People are going to call me a sissy for this, but I like Wii better. They got a whole bunch more games that you don't get on other systems, such as the Mario games and the Pokemon games and the Kirby games… (blushes) But I got an Xbox too!

Simon: It's okay. I generally prefer movies with better developed plots, regardless of genre. I am quite bored by horror movies with clichéd plots, but romance movies that aren't highly developed in terms of plot tend to make up for it with comedy.

Theodore: You mean ice cream flavors? I prefer vanilla ice cream, but I like chocolate frosting better.

Brittany: Earrings. You have to wear them every day unless you want the piercings to close up, plus they don't get in your way when you're doing something with your hands.

Jeanette: I already answered this one!

Eleanor: Cake. Unless it's pecan pie.

Simon: Here's one from The Knight of Renaissance Light:

**Simon, Jeanette, before I begin my questions, I have to give you a warning. I saw the review that Lord Odotherex made on your show in my name. However, the thing is I DIDN'T tell Odotherex to do so, and he has no debt to pay back. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was up to something. Now I know you said that this is like the failed Darkmunks invasion. Well, trust me, this may be much different. Because Odotherex has an edge that the Darkmunks didn't: he was the former Antichrist. Don't believe me? It's in my fanficks, and they all agree that Lord Odotherex is like his father: devious, resourceful, the ability to plan operations ahead of time, and not to mention: power-hungry. I should know, because I fought and defeated him many times already, and he has escaped my grasp every time. I know you both don't have a literal interpretation of God and his enemies. I don't ask you to share my belief, only my fear for your world. Do not underestimate him. He is that clever and twice and dangerous.**

**Now that I gave my warning, my question is for Jeanette. In Chapter 4, you mentioned Miss Miller passing away. I truly grieve for your loss. Many times I have seen family members of the soldiers who fought for my country. Astrolasia, I mean, which can find in my fanfic. Anyway, I seem to have the ability to feel their emotion of their families' deaths, just as I felt YOUR emotion when you talked about Miss Miller's. I wish you didn't have to answer this, but I have to know. How EXACTLY did your mother...well, you know? Because though the event is emotionally heartbreaking, it's still a rare one nonetheless. Whether you answer this question or not, it won't matter. Know that I, along with the other fans watching, truly lament in your grief. Thank you.**

Jeanette: Well, I… wasn't there when she died… I was off at college. I didn't even know until I came home for spring break, and I missed the funeral because I forgot to check my email and my cell phone for messages.

Brittany: Which is a shame, because I couldn't understand all that medical lingo the doctors threw out. I don't know what it was… probably a heart attack or cancer…

Eleanor: We would have to check her death certificate.

Simon: Anyways, KoRL, thank you for your condolences. Here's another one from Kaylie:

**I CAN'T DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH MY HANDS! My parnets suggest that ALL. THE. TIME. but everytime i have a free moment i try to pull my hair. The yearning is so strong sometimes, and i have little battles, which i mostly lose to my Subconsious mind. I think i use pulling like a drug, because sometimes it's comforting. So i HAVE to stop. I tell myself every morning, every night, and whenever i think about it. My mom catches me a lot too. I normally look creepy with my hair when it's not straight, but pulling it makes it out of control when it dries. I have to flat iron a lot, and i'm not the best flat ironer (Is that even a word?) there is. In a few days i'm going to a camp, and we don't bring flat irons there, and we will be swimming quite a bit. I decided to stop, but i still pull. It's worked itself into my dailey lifestyle, and i normally do it when i'm not busy, although i've been caught doing something while pulling. My scalp hurts sometimes, cause that's where i pull most. I just get so much satisfaction in seeing the short, dark red, curled, bumpy hair in my fingers. I'll find otehr pieces i've pulled lying on the ground, or on the couch, on chairs, etc. I sometimes grab one and curl it. I wish had another habit. Almost any other would be better. I know that, when i see the words 'Hair', i remember and stop, but normally it's too late. I don't really expect much advice from this, but at least i'm getting it off my chest. It feels nice to talk about it.**

Simon: Well, what you could do is, whenever you catch yourself pulling at your hair, pinch yourself, just hard enough to hurt. That way, your subconscious mind will associate hair-pulling with the pain and thus stop. I cannot guarantee that it will work, but it's worth a try. You might even have somebody else do it if you don't like to pinch yourself. By the way, a hair straightener is typically called a "flat iron".

Anyway, here's one from chipmunkfanantic:

**Great Show Simon I am Impressed but i have to wonder now this is a what if Question what if my OC's Band Challenged Both Groups to a Rock 10 vs 6 how would you feel about that oh and the name of my OC's Band is Adam and the chipmunks there Manager's Are Dave and Claire with Adam Alvin and Brittany as lead singers You on Base Alvin Jill and Paul on Guitar Jeanette's is Also on Base Eleanor on the Keyboard THeodore of course on drums and Charlene as a Backup Singer so you see my Oc is Currently Dating Brittany something that I dont think Alvin could put up with but then again my Oc's Band would Not work With the Former Manager Ian Hawke that Guy has a few loose Screw's if you get what i mean but still that guy makes you wanna run for your life and which makes our Techinical Person Eddie handel Sound Check along with Stage lights and making sure that everything workes oh and my Lead signer ADam Know's what Happened at France the "Accident in Paris . Yea He remembers man Alvin being a show off on stage and sending poor Dave in the Hospital I wonder how many Angery and shocked fans left that one I just have to wonder but then again the Exact same thing Happened in our Own Dimension of course only this time our Brittany didnt end up with Alvin she ended up with being with our top lead singer Adam I am telln ya he is really good so yea and the way we talk to Other Alternate Dimensions is threw one of Jill's Inventions in which it does work but for some reason we cant get to the 60's Dimension which has some sort of Force Field around it but we can Travel threw it and wind up inside that Dimension I think you and Jill along with Jeanette would have an Interesting Converstaion about science and what not because it doesnt make sense to our Alvin or anyone else including Theodore and Eleanor but i am able to keep up but still I have seen a few episodes of the Transformers and the Orginal Cartoon is awesome check it out some time but **

**Quick Question for Simon **

**How many fights did Alvin and Brittany get into ? I just dont see them ever getting married or even dating for that matter **

**Seems impossible oh beleive me it is .**

Simon: Well, sure we can do that! But you see, I'm getting ready to go to grad school, and CosmicKitten89's getting ready to go back to college, so I'm going to have to cut the show down to once a month.

Well, I think that Alvin and Brittany's relationship revolves around fighting. Quite interesting; they seem to get some sort of masochistic thrill from generating friction between each other. As for Jeanette and I, however, the most competitive we ever get is when we play chess with one another.

Here's one from Konata Fan; she used to be called Tiana Koopa:

**Simon: (my brother's question) Do you watch any anime shows?**

**Jeanette: What is energy made of?**

Simon: Well, yes, occasionally I sit down to watch Sailor Moon, among other lesser-known shows, with the Chipettes. I actually learned Japanese from watching anime, and from reading manga as well.

Jeanette: Well, a better question would be to ask: What isn't energy made of? Or what isn't made of energy? Einstein's equation E equals M C squared shows that even matter is made of energy, and scientists are finding out about dark matter and dark energy, the latter of which permeates empty space, so even space might be made of energy.

Simon: That's right. I do enjoy it when we get good questions like these.

Here's yet another one from Kaylie:

**Ok, problem. Some girls i hang out with tell me they love me quite a bit, not really in person, but on the computer. I don't want to hurt their feelings, but i'm NOT a lovey-dovey-huggy- touchy kind of person. I don't really hug people. I don't like sharing a bed with them. That's alright. But when they say 'WE LOVE YOU'! I don't know what to say back. Ditto seems easy, but i don't want to hurt them. What do i do?**

Simon: Hmm, CosmicKitten89 was in the same predicament once… well, not exactly the same… anyway, if it were me, I would tell them that I would prefer it if we did air hugs. It's possible that they are just teasing you, but then you would know them better than me, so I cannot say that.

**Hey, Simon! Awesomo3000 here! Got questions for ya!**

**Theo:**

**What is your favourite pie & why?**

**What's your opinion on your CGI self?**

**Simon:**

**Do you think Alvin's show should be cancelled?**

**What films are you looking forward to seeing in 2011? Jeanette, same question. (I wanna see Transformers 3, Cars 2, & AATC 3!)**

**What are your top 3 favourite Dreamworks films? Jeanette, same question. (Mine are Kung Fu Panda, HTTYD, & Megamind!)**

**Ellie:**

**What's the best desert you & Theo have ever cooked?**

**What sports involving balls are you good at?**

**If you were stuck on an island with one food, what would it be & why?**

**Jeanette:**

**What do things look like without your glasses on?**

**Remind me why you & Simon were fighting over that pillow when you first met?**

**Do you do any clubs other then science and maths, like kung fu, or singing, or surfing?**

Theodore: Pecan pie is my favorite pie because it's really rich and sugary and nutty, and you know how chipmunks like nuts!

I think that my CGI self is really cute and furry! I want to snuggle my furry mini me!

Simon: Well, Alvin's show is already cancelled; I didn't want it to be canceled, though, just toned down.

I don't watch much TV, so I don't really know what's coming out this year, other than Chip-Wrecked, of course.

Jeanette: And Mr. Popper's Penguins! I want to see that!

Simon: Oh yes! I saw that one on a billboard! I think we all should go see it!

Oh, well, CosmicKitten89 hasn't seen any of those films…

Jeanette: She has Kung Fu Panda but her foster/adoptive parent never got around to letting her watch it.

Simon: Anyways, my favorite Dreamworks films are The Prince of Egypt, Megamind, and Madagascar.

Jeanette: Mine too, except I'd put Joseph: King of Dreams on that list ahead of Madagascar, and maybe Spirit too in place of Megamind.

Simon: I haven't seen Joseph: King of Dreams. I didn't really like Spirit, though. It's beautifully animated, but it gets boring because the horses don't talk.

Jeanette: But you still know what they're saying.

Eleanor: We once made a white chocolate pecan pie for Thanksgiving.

Theodore: Mmmm, but we only got one piece each. Simon, Jeanette, Brittany and Alvin hogged it all.

Eleanor: Well, I am good at almost any sport involving a ball, but I am particularly good at soccer and softball.

If I were stranded on a desert island with no food, I would take peanut butter. It's filling, and if it's full of preservatives it won't go bad. And nothing tastes better when you're really hungry.

Theodore: Crunchy, right?

Eleanor: I wouldn't have it any other way.

Jeanette: Well, Brittany says I look beautiful with my glasses off, but I prefer the way I look with them on. I think that the glasses hide some of my facial flaws.

Well, we were fighting over that pillow because we were both upset about having to share that bedroom. We both felt entitled to have that room that had originally been reserved for my sisters and I, though the Chipmunks mistook the reservation for one of their own, since we had copied our name from them.

Simon: You'd think that the hotel management would have heard of the Chipmunks and known that they were not girls.

Jeanette: Does Chess Club count? Well, I have trouble with kung fu, because I'm so clumsy, but Eleanor is teaching me because she thinks that my physical frailness and awkwardness calls for a need to learn self-defense. Yes, I do sing in a choir group. Eleanor's also teaching me to surf, but I have trouble standing on the board without falling off. Other than that, I play musical instruments and paint and sculpt and do theater.

Simon: Here's a book review from Kaylie:

**LEVEN THUMPS is an amazing book by Obert Skye, and it is about a land where dreams live, called FOO. It's almost better than Harry Potter, and has absolutely NO cursing or dirty jokes. It's got quite a bit of Humor, and a ton of suspense. There are 5 books in the series, and it has an epic climax. The book's about a new form of dreams, and it almost seems real, the way he fits it. It is a MUST read.**

Thank you, Kaylie; I will be sure to check that out if I ever get the opportunity and the time. Which isn't very often nowadays.

All right, who is this Ecthros?

**For those who don't know me, my name's Ecthros. I am somewhat the "top minion" of my master, Lord Odotherex, when I really don't want to be. He told me not to get on here on ANY circumstances, so if he found out about this, I'd be dead faster than you can say "Bob's your uncle and Fanny's your aunt." Anyway, I saw what the Knight wrote on here, and I became curious about this topic. So forgive me asking this too, but how DID she die? I mean, was it in her sleep or was it an accident. Also, if you wouldn't mind giving the date of death? Well, just because I work for evil, it doesn't mean I'M evil. I have feelings too; I just don't show them in front of Odotherex. I would have even cried, but my tear ducts aren't exactly what they used to be. But I am sad nonetheless.**

**Also, for Simon. The Knight's right. You CANNOT undermine Odotherex. I mean, he seeks power at all costs; he views you guys as "ants"; he kills numerous souls with no self control; he envies you mortals for your friendships and ability to support each other; he has spies and others to do his dirty work for him; he feels anger towards any opposition; he even shows complete disregard and manipulation of human beings. I've even seen his forces. They're practically the size of the combined forces of the Nazis, the former Soviets, and the Communist Chinese. And I'd suggest keeping an eye on Jeanette and her sisters. I have a feeling that...Oops, sorry to cut it short, but I gotta leave. Chase Young said that there's a minute in five minutes. Just keep in mind what I said.**

Simon: Most likely in her sleep, unless she was awake at the time. You wouldn't happen to mean Chase Young from Xiaolin Showdown, would you?

Anyways, your secret's safe with me. Now, Kaylie asks:

**Just out of curiosity, where have Brittany and Alvin been the past 2 shows? Do i want to know? If it's not PG rated, DON'T TELL ME.**

Simon: Well, that's DEFINITELY not PG rated… All I can tell you is that CosmicKitten89 sponsors a show just for the two of them, which is in the M-rated category, and it just got canceled for being TOO dirty.

Alvin: DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO REMIND ME?

Theodore: Here, have some food to cheer you up.

Alvin: FOOD! MY SHOW WAS CANCELLED ! HOW CAN I THINK OF FOOD AT A TIME LIKE THIS?

Simon: All right, all right, Alvin, calm down so I can answer Sheryl Seville's question!

**Eleanor How many times have you Caught Brittany just going threw your Stuff ? I had to ask this because on occasion i would catch Jill going threw my stuff and yea it doesnt end well trust me on that . **

**Jeanette when Brittanys in a bad mood mostly due to Alvin how do you Calm her down ? **

**Simon do you and Alvin ever get into any fights ? **

**Theodore since you love Eleanor have you ever Considered taking her to a really resturant then hiting the Theatre and then hitting the Beach last you know like a real Date ? I had to ask this because Adam has taken Brittnay to resturants Galor and the Theatre along with the Beach but still the beach would be a Perfect to end the evening wouldnt you agree . **

**Eleanor What did you think of Doing Hot n cold in the Squekquel ?**

Eleanor: Too many to count.

Jeanette: I pretty much do whatever Brittany says and try not to get on her bad side when she's angry.

Simon: All the time. Have you ever seen our show?

Theodore: Oh, I go out to restaurants with her all the time! Sometimes I go to the theater too so we can have popcorn, and sometimes we have picnics on the beach! But we don't usually do all that at once.

Eleanor: I thought it was a good song for us, but they cut all the good parts out when they arranged it for our CGI counterparts.

Simon: Here's one from Paul Seville:

**So Simon how do you deal with the Media along with the Paparrazzi? because we get them everyday and we are begining to really hate it . and what are Tabloids ?**

Simon: Well, to start, I don't do anything provocative enough for them to make a news story out of. And in my case there is very little fodder for nasty rumors about me.

Tabloids are news articles that showcase outrageous, sensational made-up stories about celebrities, like they do with Brittany and Alvin all the time. Although I'm afraid that this week's tabloids are actually true…

Brittany: IT'S A LIE! OUR SHOW IS NOT A PORNO!

Alvin: Well, it kinda is…

Simon: Enough, enough! Some of our viewers do not need to know what pornography is… for those of you who are wondering, pornography is entertainment for adults, that only adults enjoy, that kids find to be disgusting.

Here's one from Charlene… the Chipette?

**Ok Don't get me Confused with Charlene the Chipette . ok anyway Simon in the 2009 Movie What Happened during the Paris Concert all don't know is dave Landed in the Hospital and don't it I don't know what happened after that**

Oh, well, didn't you see the movie? Basically we were performing "Girl You Really Got Me Now", and Alvin decided to swing upside down from his guitar cord, and he wound up crashing into a sign that fell down and injured Dave.

Here's another one from Sheryl Seville:

**Hey Simon ,Did the CGI Chipettes really sing Hot n cold Beacuse i never saw the Squekuel beacaue i know that your CGI Selves were Blown away **

**So Simon you into Bands like Pink Kay Perry and The doors ?**

Simon: Yes, they did, but they didn't sing the entire song; you see, the people who arrange their songs cut out any parts that they find inappropriate for general audiences, such as coarse language or suggestive innuendo.

You mean pop bands? Yeah, I guess they're all right. There are only a few bands that make my ears bleed – and I won't mention them because I do not want to offend any fans.

Here's one from Jill Seville:

**I must say that is alot of food to Cook up Theodore Eleanor almost something we could do but then again we hardly do so.**

**Simon could you tell us some of the Perks of Being Rockstars? **

**I wonder why is Alvin such a stage Hog ? I'm sure **

**Simon I was thinking could you get all the girls on the show I have an Idea could get the Chipettes to sing Hot n cold I think our Lead singer Adam would like to hear it once more its one of his Favorite songs well next to one of your's Witch Doctor wasnt it yea we love that song .**

Eleanor: Well, we are almost done…

Theodore: Pheew, I never want to cook this much food again!

Simon: Well, one perk is that you can get busted out of jail sooner than anybody else; isn't that right, Alvin?

Alvin: I should have never had to go to jail in the first place!

Simon: Well, unlike Theo and I, Alvin is what you would call an extrovert. He thrives on attention. That is all good and well, but it gets annoying whenever I am in an extroverted mood. Brittany is also an extrovert, which is why they are always fighting for the spotlight. Might I say, the two of you look better when you share the spotlight.

Simon: Well, what do you think of that, girls?

Brittany: I don't want to go on that show, I just want my show back!

Eleanor: Brittany!

Jeanette: We should do it! But we should sing a parody of Hot 'N Cold because it's copyright infringement for us to just sing the song.

Simon: Here's a long one from Adam Seville:

**Hey Simon I just made a bet with your Brother Alvin that our Band Adam and the chipmunks against Alvin and the chipmunks and Brittany and the chipettes that we can out rock n roll them (referring to the chipmunk adventure)Jeanette I think you might remember that movie . But my favorite scene is when Miss Miller crashes her car into the Diamond Thiefs car man remind me to never take driving lessons from someone who drives like a Maniac uh nothing hurtful there . Oh Jeanette in the story well Jeanette apparently you go blind due to your EX soon to be Married husband Henery and this guy made you go blind by spraying acid and it took well alot of Surguries and according to the story Brittany and Eleanor get into a fight resulting in Eleanor leaving and never coming back but during Christmas of that year Her and her Husband Henery send a Christmas Card and of course Brittany Burns it up but what happens so far is when Alvin removes the sunglasses and finds Ghost like scars running all accross your eyes man going blind must suck sense you cant see what you once saw with the eyes you once had oh in the Story Blind Observation Alvin goes blind due to a Gas heater Explosion caused by none other than Ian Hawke and in the story its all in your head Alvin apparently Alvins Ex best friend Rupert Dumps Alvin in the lake making Simon and Theodore along with Jeanettes son Charles fish him out of the lake and Alvin is too late to stop the wedding but it was Rupert that wanted Alvin out of the way so he could have Brittany all to himself and he beats her only son little Alvie and Beats Brittany Sensles and making her love him instead of Alvin but so far i am up to date on that story but I can imagine Rupert asking his Drunk dad to run him over to me that is Just plain Cruel and Inhumane plus he even gets you to kill alvin and well Charles lets just say that the Memory of you and Jeanette Shouting at each other not a pleasent one to remember and on a Sour note I think that what Alvin did 10 years ago man tense and I happen to remember it all first off he erases your name and puts his Costing you your math grade and Dumps the Mixture on Theodore costing him a chance to go to a good cooking school to me that is just plain rude . Oh and to top it all he even dumps a Bucket of Green paint on Brittnay and doesnt appologize to her and well me I finally found out that Alvin was hit by ruperts drunk Dad so i kept that info to myself and in the story you turn to Crime Theodore and Eleanor try to make what little money that they can Jeanette works at a I think it was either a CLinic or Hospital or somehting like that and Brittany . Well as i said Earyler she gets married to rupert and alvin is to late to Stop the wedding now to me talk about a total heart breaker but Jeeze Cant Rupert get over what happened all those years ago . Simon I know you would hardly buy it as i would but before Alvin ended up in the hospital he screamed at dave and I qoute I f*****g hate you Pardon my Japanise about that but I am up to Chapter 36 in that story Simon Jeanette Theodore Eleanor if you all had the time check it out that story will tell you what i just told you oh and Alvin and Brittany should check it out as well but its a very Sadening one and almost a tragic one if you ask me . **

**Simon when did you and the others Graduate . Because i did graduate in a thunderstorm and on Friday the 13th odd day to graduate huh yea well its true plus i had to walk in the rain which i didnt mind but i was walking in my dress shoes along with getting Blisters on the back of my feet but it was rewarding when i finally got to rest and go get me a root beer just to relax but at the Bowling ally they Sell Beer to kids that just wanna get drunk . To me how stupid of them dont they know that beer imparres your sense of Judgment and everything else oh and being drunk while driving just doesnt mix anyway Project Graduation was a blast we got to see the movie thor which was Awesome got to get hypnotized which was totaly cool . **

**So Simon what did you and your Brothers do along with your Girlfriends after Graduation ? I had to ask because my Sponsor had the night of his life and me and my band well we just hung around for him to get back so Simon Did Alvin really take brittany to prom ?or am i hearing just another rumor . **

**Simon what were your thoughts when you saw Jeanette walking down the Stairs back at Miss Millers? place same Question for Theodore and Eleanor **

**Jeanette when Brittany's in a bad mood how do you calm her down I know why its mostly Alvin pushing her Buttons just because he likes it ?**

**Theodore I have read some Fanfics about you and Brittany some are true and yet some of them are not **

**Eleanor same thing i have read some fanfics about you and Alvin I hardly buy it because you and Alvin Dating ? I dont think that would happen for Reasons that i might be able to Explain **

**Simon there are also some fanfics that put you with Brittany I dont see that happening First off you and Brittany married I dont think that would happen plus you and Brittany Dating ? uh check no that one . **

**Jeanette I know both Fanfics arent true but yet i do find them Interesting anyway I can Imagine Brittany and Eleanor getting drunk but you ? I dont know you would probably have better sense than that . but Alvin takeing you on a friendly outing ? Check no one too I know it wouldnt happen but if it did I could Just Imagine the Possibilities for mixed couples **

**Theodore Name one Hurtful Event in your life ? **

**Eleanor How many times have you and Brittany goten into a fight ? Simon Same Question and Theodore . **

**Simon what do you think about the resident evil movies and Video games ? **

**Theodore what did you think of David Cross playing Ian Hawke in both Movies ? **

**Eleanor what are your Thoughts on Theodore when you first met him in the Squekquel ?**

**Simon what do you think of Alvin as a brother you know Dating multiple Girls thus Cheating on Brittany I think its just wrong cheating on your girlfriend but if you do it for the right reasons**

**Simon what were your thoughts when you met Jeanette in the Squekquel? (I know i asked Eleanor this one )**

Simon: Well, Jeanette and I graduated earlier than the others because we skipped a few grades. Jeanette was fifteen and I was sixteen when we graduated; my brothers were eighteen and Jeanette's sisters were seventeen. My brothers and I are twenty now and the Chipettes are nineteen, but their birthday's coming up, I think…

Jeanette: We just found our birth certificates. We turn twenty on June 29th.

Simon: Well, When Jeanette and I graduated we got to go on a trip to Rome.

Alvin: When Theo, Ellie, Brit and I graduated, we had a wild party! Jeanette and Simon weren't there; you see, they were too busy at college taking summer classes!

Theodore: Hurtful… When my goldfish died.

Simon: The goldfish from the episode "Psychic Alvin".

Alvin: CosmicKitten89's making a parody of that episode for Youtube, and it's awesome! I cut Theo out of almost every scene that I possibly can!

Simon: That isn't nice, Alvin!

Alvin: You aren't nice, for acting like an arrogant stuck-up elitist snob in that show!

Simon: It's called acting for a reason, Alvin.

Eleanor: I cannot count how many times I had to fight Brittany…

Simon: Don't ask.

Theodore: I don't fight with her. She usually just ignores me.

Simon: Alvin likes those movies and video games. I personally don't care for them. The video games are M-rated, but Alvin played them even when he was a little kid! And they are TERRIFYING… at least they were to me when I was a kid. Alvin must have been desensitized to that kind of violence…

Theodore: Well, why wouldn't he play Ian in both movies?

Eleanor: I didn't meet him in the Squeakquel; I am CARTOON Eleanor, remember. But it looks to me like my movie version was already a big fan of Theodore, and was excited that Theo was looking at her.

Simon: Well, I personally don't condone cheating on one's girlfriend, but that's really none of my business.

Simon: Well, it appears that I was surprised to find that there was a trio of female chipmunks going to this school, including one who dressed like an intellectual, and that I was smitten, pleased that she seemed to be smitten with me too, and charmed by her cute purple glasses.

Here's another one from Adam Seville:

**Simon Iknow your no love Doctor but I could use your help but listen I had a second Breakup during my Senior year now I might be regreating it but then again my second EX Girlfriend Amber was always the one Nagging me for me to buy her something extra and always annoying me with her religion and qouting stuff from the Bible and oh yea my only guess is she wanted me for Populatarity and maybe more . but over the course of mine and her relationship i started to see more of her then i expected now Simon how many times have you seen Alvin and Brittany Break up ? because i dont know if i can find true love ever again . you know i am looking for a girl that understands me who knows what i am going threw . But i doubt that will ever happen to me i mean when me and her broke up that day sure i felt free but she always Threatned to breakup with me if i didnt wait for her after i graduated so i was the one that broke up with her . Simon do you think i made the right choice ? because like Alvin I do notice things and well Amber was giving off all the wrong Signals and after we brokeup she told the first person that she saw and made my life a living hell on earth so i started to really get under her skin and that's when everything fell into place Like Brittany I used the best of the best insults i found on the internet . so what does she do she tells on me for something i said to her and that hacked me off far more then i could imagine . I mean this Whole relationship was just a mistake to me I shouldnt of asked her to the prom during my Junior year it was me who made that mistake and now i regreat it but Simon in one point in your life when have you and Jeanette ever broken up ? and When . but my gut told me to break up with her and for good reasons . IN several alvin and brittany stories some i have read that they are married ? first off I dont think that would work second they fight to much . and third even if it would work most likely one fight would tear there marrige apart . or another reason Alvin Cheats on her with other girls in which it always results in a fight . so during a Field Trip one day what does she do next she is filming us and I hated it so i just cussed while on the trip but when we got to springfield me and a friend of mine decided to well lets just say that we moved her stuff up a few seats and pretended that that her stuff moved themselves a personal prank of mine that i came up with on my own . You could say that i pulled an Alvin on her and she didnt know it but it worked . And she didnt even attend Graduation that night Strange thou ? but it didnt bother me one bit because like Alvin I knew for a fact she wouldnt show up and frankly I never cared for her anyway sure she had feelings for me but i didnt and that was the key roll . So during the rest of my Senior year Amber started to act more and more like Brittany everyday and frankly I started to act more and more like your brother Alvin . but in the end I think it was worth it to show her that a guy like me doesnt like being bullied so she got what was coming to her . But to walk away from a fight . Yea what if she was held at Gun point would she walk away then ? Yea i asked her that very Question and well lets just say that it shuther up good . because like Alvin I knew i had to face the music sooner or later . like they say its better to face the music now then later . Am i right Simon ? . But anyway I have always wondered how did alvin do it getting all those girls Phone numbers it just baffels me and its odd that Alvin would cheat on brittany . Dont you think so Jeanette ?but i hardly buy it myself Simon how many times have you seen Alvin with another one of his "fan girls " everytime ? but i dont get it Alvin flirting with his fan girls and getting there Phone numbers it just doesnt make sense to me and when his own fan girl breaks up with him the exact same thing happens again ok Jeanette this is a Serious Qeustion . How many times have you seen Brittany bawl her eyes out over Alvin ? **

**Eleanor I know this is a dumb Question but here goes something Have you ever caught your Teddy as you call him Cheating on you ? **

**Jeanette Same Question . **

**Theodore I already know this is a Stupid Question but how man girls have you seen with Alvin ? **

**and Eleanor if there is one thing you could Change about Alvin what would it be ?**

Simon: Well, I think you should take some time during college or whenever or even right now to follow your hobbies, discover new ones and find out who you really are before you go looking for a girlfriend. Drown out the pain in your life by flooding it with creative energy and adventure and pursuits! Only after you know who you are can you know who is right for you!

Well, I see Alvin and Brittany break up and make up nearly every other week. They always make up in time to do their show, however.

Eleanor: My Teddy would never cheat on me!

Simon: Well, he did like that one girl Juliet, but you weren't technically his girlfriend yet. Theo, you understand that it's wrong to date other girls while dating Eleanor, correct?

Theodore: Umm, yes.

Jeanette: I have never known Simon to cheat either.

Theodore: Whoa, gosh, I see lots of girls with Alvin!

Simon: Here's one from an author called Eminen1995:

**What's your favorite book to read?**

**What's the best dessert that Theo and Ellie has made?**

**Theodore why do you have to be so cute and cuddly?**

Simon: Hmm, the first two have already been answered…

Theodore: I guess being chubby makes me cute and cuddly!

Simon: Here's one from Kaylie:

**Alvin, why are you so annoying?**

Alvin: Well, today I am annoying because I want my show back!

Simon: Shut up, I will do my best to get you your show back!

Ecthros again:

**Finally, I got back on without my master or the others being the wiser! First I wanted to point out a few things. First, when I said that "there's a minute in five minutes," I meant to say there was a "MEETING in five minutes". Secondly, as for Odotherex's military, when I described the army as a combination of some of history's most powerful armies. I was able to count them. There were approximately 20.5 million, which includes aerial, land, and naval forces.**

**Anyway, to lighten the mood, a request for Theodore. Can you possibly make Beef Wellington? And for Simon and Jeanette, if you had the chance to change any event in history w/o consequences, what would it be and why?**

Theodore: Not today.

Simon: A hard choice… many historians will argue that it was Napoleon's reign that sparked a chain reaction that eventually resulted in WWI and WWII

Jeanette: You see, Napoleon III was inspired to live up to his brilliant cousin, so he declared himself Emperor, and that created tension Europe that resulted in the assassination of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand, as well as all the alliances that got pulled into the war.

Simon: So when the war was over, everybody decided to blame it all on Germany and to make them pay for everything. This resulted in an angry and bitter country that would easily buy into Hitler's agenda…

Jeanette: Resulting in World War II…

Simon: Actually, if we go back further, it was the French Revolution that enabled Napoleon to become as powerful as he had become…

Jeanette: And that was inspired by the American Revolution…

Simon: Which also inspired the Russian Revolution, which led to the rise of communism…

Jeanette: But who's to say that they wouldn't revolt anyway?

Simon: So it's a tie between the French Revolution and the Russian Revolution, stop the Holocaust and WWII or communism and the Cold War, take your pick…

Jeanette: But the people in those revolutions needed to revolt; they were so oppressed!

Simon: Well, if we could change it so that they could change the government without getting into a war over it…

Jeanette: The earth's population would be a lot bigger right now if those wars hadn't happened, though. Who knows, maybe just having a lot of people would result in some sort of war.

Simon: Yes, some scholars would claim that humanity's penchant for creating war is evolution's way of preventing their overpopulation…

Anyway, this one is from Kaylie98, you know, the same Kaylie, but now with her own Fanfiction account:

**Simon, i just wanted to tell you, DO NOT DO WHAT YOUR BROTHERS HAVE WITH THEIR GIRLFRIENDS. I MEAN IT. I look up to you and Jeanette, you two are my all time favorite couple.**

Simon: What? Have you been taking a peek at Alvin and Brittany's Midnight Party House? Because it is not recommended for your age group, and I thought that you don't like to read dirty stuff anyway.

Don't worry, for we do not intend on doing anything of the sort until we are married.

Jeanette: Nor do we intend on making a spectacle of it the way Alvin and Brittany do.

Simon: Kaylie98 also asks:

**Um, i REALLY want to do a Q&A show with some books and movies, but in the guidelines, it says not to. I don't want to be suspended, but i was DYING to do a story/show like that. None of the Q&A shows have been deleted. Should i or shouldn't i?**

Simon: Well, if you want to do that, you should try not to write it in script format – you know, by putting each character's name followed by what they say, like we do on this show.

Jeanette: CosmicKitten89 wanted to do a Chose Your Own Adventure, but that's against the Community Guidelines too… I don't know why…

Simon: So we're trying to add more description to our show. You know, non-dialogue writing. Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with script format, but to be honest, I don't think that anybody in the fanfiction community really cares except for diehard sticklers for the rules, which fortunately appear to be absent from the Chipmunk community.

(Time slows down for everyone in the studio.)

**Yes, I know, freakish, huh? Well, the time slowed down so much that this show will still be on until next week! I'll update when some action has happened in real time!**


	14. Flash Forward

After a week or so of dragging along in their slowed-down reference frame, Simon finally gets to the message that CosmicKitten89 left him.

Simon: Here's a letter from CosmicKitten89. It's a… private message… and it says:

**Dear Simon,**

**I, like you, am an extremely busy person, and I feel that it is in both of our best interest that we both quit the show. However, there are plenty of fans with questions that need to be answered, so I shall bequeath that responsibility to Seymour, who is a worthy successor.**

**Your smartest, craziest, most pure-hearted yet twisted-minded and all-around biggest fan,**

**CosmicKitten89 3**

Simon: Seymour… wait, not THAT Seymour…

(Seymour and Joelle enter the room)

Joelle: Guess who's back, and you can't stop this time!

Simon: But-but that's impossible! How did you get around my dark-energy trans-dimensional reversal field generator?

Seymour: You, like many of your viewers, are fools! Our intelligence our ranks both yours and Jeanette's!

Joelle: Yes, and this time we'll make sure that none of you will bother us again.

Jeanette: We never bothered you!

Alvin: Yeah, you are always bothering us!

Theodore is crying; Eleanor is comforting him.

Brittany: You-you…

Simon: So what exactly did your superior intelligence come up with this time?

Seymour: Well, for you, Simon, we have a special surprise; for all those who have waited patiently, I'm going to turn you into a vampire, like so many fans want to see!

Simon: B-but my fans don't want that to happen for real… I-I don't really want-aahh-

(Seymour comes closer to his neck, and Joelle forces Jeanette to watch as Seymour bites Simon and begins to drink his blood.)

Simon: Please… I-I-uh…

(Once Simon falls unconscious, Seymour lets him drop to the floor.)

Seymour: Get up, my newest slave.

Simon pushes himself up, steadily, as he waits for the blood to pump back to his brain.

Simon: I feel splendid, master. And to think that I didn't really want this…

Joelle: One down, 5 to go. Simon, I will let you choose what we should do to Jeanette, do you want to bite her, or should I freeze her or turn her into a statue?

Jeanette: SIMON! You love me too much to do any of that, don't you? Our love will conquer their dark powers!

Joelle: That won't work! You can't escape, and Simon is completely under our control, right Simon?

Simon: I obey only the Darkmunks.

Joelle: But this will do to keep you here. (She activates her hypnosis powers on Jeanette, making her fall into a trance.) Now Simon what should we do with her?

Simon: I want to bite her and make her my vampire lover.

Alvin: You Darkmunks are not turning anybody into a vampire!

Simon: Alvin, I already AM a vampire.

Alvin: Well, in that case, you are not turning anybody else into a vampire!

Alvin charges at Joelle, aiming to punch her in the breasts.

Joelle: You move to slow. (She dodges, and Charlene enters the room) Ah! Charlene! You're just in time! I know exactly what to do with Alvin. (She activates her hypnosis powers on Alvin, he falls into a trance.) Now Alvin, you will completely forget about Brittany, and the love for Brittany that you have is now love for Charlene, you are madly in love with her and have no memories of Brittany at all. (She snaps her fingers to wake him up)

Brittany: Do not listen to them! You love ME! You don't want Charlene; she is too old; she's my mama!

Alvin: She's one FOXY mama!

Brittany: No, I am your foxy mama!

Alvin: Who the heck are you?

Brittany: AUUUGH! I could just TEAR YOUR HAIR OUT!

Charlene: Thanks Joelle! Now Alvie, are you ready to go on our date after the show?

Alvin: I-would-love-to. You-are-my-sweetie.

(Imagine Alvin talking like the munks in the Alvin Show)

Charlene: You're so sweet, who is that chipette over there? (points at Brittany)

Alvin: I-don't-know. Another-crazy-fangirl, I-guess.

Charlene: Come on and show me you love backstage.

Alvin: Yes. Let's-go-backstage-so-the-kiddies-don't-see.

(Alvin and Charlene go backstage)

Joelle: How does it feel to see the man that you love doesn't even know who you are?

Brittany: Grrr, you are going to need plastic surgery after I am done with you!

(Runs toward Joelle, with the intention of kicking here where Alvin was going to punch her)

Joelle: Now, now, we can't let you do that. (She touches Brittany's shoulder and begins to suck away her heat, freezing her solid.)

Brittany: Alvin – will – defrost me…

Joelle: It won't work. And now you will be a frozen statue forever. You'll definitely make a nice statue.

Seymour: Wait, she likes pink a lot, why don't we turn her into an amethyst statue?

Joelle: Great idea! She'll make a beautiful statue!

Brittany: But amethyst is purple! If you're going to make me a statue, make it rose quartz!

Joelle: I'm going to enjoy this! (She pulls out a ray that can turn anything she wants into any kind of crystal she wants, she sets it to amethyst and shoots Brittany with it, she begins to turn into amethyst)

Brittany: Or pink zircon, or tourmaline, or better yet, how about FLESH AND BLOOD!

Joelle: Well, she won't be bothering us anymore. (Watches Brittany turn completely into a statue) Eloise! Please take care of Eleanor and Theodore again.

(Eloise runs in)

Eloise: Okay! (She makes both of them eat a seed which then turns both of them into trees.)

Seymour: Now, what to do with Jeanette...

Joelle: Don't worry, she can't get out of that trance so in the meantime, lets answer some questions!

First is from someone called, Knight of Renaissance Light

**Simon, Jeanette, before I begin my questions, I have to give you a warning. I saw the review that Lord Odotherex made on your show in my name. However, the thing is I DIDN'T tell Odotherex to do so, and he has no debt to pay back. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was up to something. Now I know you said that this is like the failed Darkmunks invasion. Well, trust me, this may be much different. Because Odotherex has an edge that the Darkmunks didn't: he was the former Antichrist. Don't believe me? It's in my fanficks, and they all agree that Lord Odotherex is like his father: devious, resourceful, the ability to plan operations ahead of time, and not to mention: power-hungry. I should know, because I fought and defeated him many times already, and he has escaped my grasp every time. I know you both don't have a literal interpretation of God and his enemies. I don't ask you to share my belief, only my fear for your world. Do not underestimate him. He is that clever and twice and dangerous.**

**Now that I gave my warning, my question is for Jeanette. In Chapter 4, you mentioned Miss Miller passing away. I truly grieve for your loss. Many times I have seen family members of the soldiers who fought for my country. Astrolasia, I mean, which can find in my fanfic. Anyway, I seem to have the ability to feel their emotion of their families' deaths, just as I felt YOUR emotion when you talked about Miss Miller's. I wish you didn't have to answer this, but I have to know. How EXACTLY did your mother...well, you know? Because though the event is emotionally heartbreaking, it's still a rare one nonetheless. Whether you answer this question or not, it won't matter. Know that I, along with the other fans watching, truly lament in your grief. Thank you.**

Joelle: Whoever you are, you do not know how we are. The Darkmunks are the darkest part of this entire Multiverse! All Evil is from our world. Once we corrupt and destroy the original chipmunks and enslave all chipmunks we will teach you the meaning of fear, grief and despair! And if you knew about suffering, then you would have known my pain that I went through when Seymour was killed and I watched the entire thing! I haven't been able to sleep since then!

Seymour: It was such a sad time, also to let each of you know, I am technically the same person, Seymour, but my mind was merely created from the darkest part of the original Seymour's personaility...

Joelle: Let's not discuss it now, we have other questions to answer.

This one is from Susan,

Simon and Jeanette: How did you become so smart?

That's it

Seymour: Well, I gain my smarts from the original Seymour, along with some of his memories but I don't have everything from his personality, some of it is just me. His smarts came from reading books and various sources. Some of it was just a part of him; I personally think that he was born with super smarts.

Joelle: My smarts came from that I would love to read books a lot. I learned quite a bit from it and some other things I learned from hanging out with Simon as well. Simon, answer the question!

Simon: I answered that question already!

Seymour: This one should be interesting:

**For those who don't know me, my name's Ecthros. I am somewhat the "top minion" of my master, Lord Odotherex, when I really don't want to be. He told me not to get on here on ANY circumstances, so if he found out about this, I'd be dead faster than you can say "Bob's your uncle and Fanny's your aunt." Anyway, I saw what the Knight wrote on here, and I became curious about this topic. So forgive me asking this too, but how DID she die? I mean, was it in her sleep or was it an accident. Also, if you wouldn't mind giving the date of death? Well, just because I work for evil, it doesn't mean I'M evil. I have feelings too; I just don't show them in front of Odotherex. I would have even cried, but my tear ducts aren't exactly what they used to be. But I am sad nonetheless.**

**Also, for Simon. The Knight's right. You CANNOT undermine Odotherex. I mean, he seeks power at all costs; he views you guys as "ants"; he kills numerous souls with no self control; he envies you mortals for your friendships and ability to support each other; he has spies and others to do his dirty work for him; he feels anger towards any opposition; he even shows complete disregard and manipulation of human beings. I've even seen his forces. They're practically the size of the combined forces of the Nazis, the former Soviets, and the Communist Chinese. And I'd suggest keeping an eye on Jeanette and her sisters. I have a feeling that...Oops, sorry to cut it short, but I gotta leave. Chase Young said that there's a minute in five minutes. Just keep in mind what I said.**

Joelle: Who was that from?

Seymour: Apparently someone called Ecthros

Joelle: Once again, You cannot underestimate us. Humans are pathetic! In our world we've enslaved all those pathetic mortals! Your master 'seeks' power, ours IS power! The 6 of us defeated all of Europe, America, Asia and the Muslims all at once! So your 'master' cannot compare to the utter destruction we can cause! I myself have killed people just for fun, and to watch the mortals squirm!

Seymour: I do love their blood! Don't you Simon? Why don't you have some of Jeanette's blood?

Joelle: Good idea. Simon, go and enjoy her blood. (Snaps her fingers to awaken Jeanette from her trance)

Jeanette: What – I'm not in a trance anymore! Simon, are still a vampire?

Simon: Yup, and you're still tasty!

Jeanette: Simon, please… Don't make me a vampire too! You-you won't have my sweet blood anymore! Can't you just draw some with a syringe?

Seymour: Here's one from a Kaylie...

**What were y'all's opinions on your counterparts?**

And another note from her...

**When i said 'Were' i meant when you first saw them.**

Joelle: Well, my good counterpart is kind of sad, considering that I used to be like that. She's too absent minded and easy to control. My first hypnotic victim, Jeanette Prime, if you all know what I mean. On Simon, he's cute, but too good for me. I can't stand how he feels so much like he wants to get rid of me. With some hypnotic commands he might make a good servant.

Seymour though is excellent! His mind is perfect for mine, when I first saw him, was when I was Jeanette, I was so glad to see that he wasn't evil and a maniac like Melvin or blindly loyal like Theao. I knew he was perfect for me.

When I saw that he was resurrected, I didn't believe it was truly him, and I was partly right, but if you want to know the whole story, you'll have to wait, until the story Dark Origins gets to that point.

Seymour: Well my good counterpart is a nice slave, but he can be too much trouble. I might have to kill him if he keeps up like that.

Jeanette, she's probably only good as a mindless slave or maybe put a loyal servant of mine in her body... Naturally I am somewhat attracted to her, but I personally like Joelle better.

I don't know how I felt when I first met Joelle when she was Jeanette because I don't have all my memories, but when I came back I felt for the first time a strong emotion, Love. Just like my old self I loved Joelle a lot and was sad when she didn't believe or trust me at first, But I eventually proved myself to her and I would never hurt her, and also a quick warning to anyone else out there: You mess with Joelle and you'll mess with me!

Joelle: I can take care of myself Seymour.

Seymour: I know, but I want to be sure that I will always be there if you need me. So I can show you how much I love you, like this.

(Seymour and Joelle kiss passionately)

Joelle: I guess I can live with it, just because it's you, Seymour. Anyway, Simon come and answer this question quickly.

Simon: I told you, I had them all answered already!

Joelle: Good, now finish her off soon, we have other things to do.

Simon: With pleasure.

Seymour: Anyway, here is the next question from Kaylie again... She posts quite a bit on here...

**1: Ravioli **

**2: manocotti**

**3: Spaghettti and meatballs**

**In an italian mood**

Joelle: Sorry, but this isn't a cooking show. Plus Theodore and Eleanor are trees. (points at the two trees that used to be chipmunks) and Eloise can't cook, sorry.

Seymour: She keeps on posting... wow...

**Alvin, why are you so annoying?**

Joelle: Because the fool doesn't know when he needs to stop. And when he needs to listen to others. And there's more but why waste time talking on how Alvin and Melvin are.

Seymour: Yea, he's just irritating.

This one is an anonymous user:

**Theodore, that does not make you mature.**

So noted, and ignored.

Joelle: Hey that Ecthros guy posted again,

**Finally, I got back on without my master or the others being the wiser! First I wanted to point out a few things. First, when I said that "there's a minute in five minutes," I meant to say there was a "MEETING in five minutes". Secondly, as for Odotherex's military, when I described the army as a combination of some of history's most powerful armies. I was able to count them. There were approximately 20.5 million, which includes aerial, land, and naval forces.**

**Anyway, to lighten the mood, a request for Theodore. Can you possibly make Beef Wellington? And for Simon and Jeanette, if you had the chance to change any event in history w/o consequences, what would it be and why?**

Why does everyone think this is a cooking show? Look, Theodore and Eleanor are trees; they can't make anything! Irritating mortals.

Seymour: Here is Kaylie again...

**UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE! **

**Just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing writing writing writing writing...**

**(50000 'Just keep writing's later)**

**UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!**

Joelle: We know that you would like us to update, but please don't post stuff like this, it wastes screen-time.

Seymour: This is from Brynn:

**Why isn't ANYONE saying anything? This poor Sammy left and you guys act as if you don't even care! Sure, you spent a few days just begging her to come back... But... Then it just kind of stopped! What, did y'all get BORED, is that it? Did you GIVE UP on her? Because if that's what you did, that's not very impressive and it shows that you have about the stick-to-it-tiveness as Eeyore! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! Because if she's out there, looking back at these reviews, she's gonna think that we don't care! And we do care, right? But y'all just kind of stopped caring left little ol' Sammy out in the dust! That's not fair!**

**What happened to that awesome idea! You guys said you were gonna write a story about her, or something! But that's the thing, you guys are all talk... But you can't back up the words that are spilling out of your mouth! You guys don't really act like you care, either!**

**Why did you guys stop making you promises, too? I didn't see alot of you making promises of any kind? Where are those promises to Hailey? Did y'all get to lazy to do those, too?Whatcha been doing out there? Did y'all just get lazy out there? Did you guys already lose your faith?**

**C'mon, now! I know a lot of you out there have probably lost alot of faith in the fact that Sammy's coming back, but you can't do that if you truely want her to come back! Now, you guys want her back, don't you? Well, she's not gonna come back if you guys don't even bother to apologize! And those of you who did have the decency to apologize, thanx a bunch! But there's still a handfull of you out there who still haven't apologied! We have to keep our chins up and never stop believing!**

**Now, for the best results, I'd say that you should get cracking on the story for Sammy! If that don't get that chick back here, nothin' will! I'd offer to help, but I am not very strong in writing! So please do something! At least act like you care! Make a story! Keep apologizing! Make a promise to Hailey! Do SOMETHING nice for her! Please!**

Joelle: You humans, do what you want but don't waste our time with it! More likely this person is sick of dealing with humans that want to apologize and use empty words like 'I'm Sorry' Pathetic!

Seymour: Kaylie replied to him.

Joelle: Let's not waste time with their conversation. Are there any more questions?

Seymour: Let me check...

Kaylie has 2 more questions,

**Um, i REALLY want to do a Q&A show with some books and movies, but in the guidelines, it says not to. I don't want to be suspended, but i was DYING to do a story/show like that. None of the Q&A shows have been deleted. Should i or shouldn't i?**

Joelle: It doesn't matter to me. If you do we might decide to come on and take over your show. Which might be fun, now that I think about it, you should do it just so we can take over the show!

Seymour: And her last question is:

**But what if little kids want their questions answered?**

So? What about the young mortals?

Joelle: Yea, why do you bring them up? Anyway let's see how Simon's doing.

Simon: Thanks Jeanette. Enticing my vampire self to use you as a blood cow – and then putting my vampire antidote in the syringe along with your blood – was genius!

Seymour: NO! You will pay for that Jeanette!

Joelle: Yes, with your heat!

(Joelle grabs Jeanette and starts to suck away her heat)

Jeanette: Simon will save me… with a kiss…

(Jeanette freezes solid. )

Brittany: Alvin?

Alvin: Brittany babe?

Brittany: You've snapped out of it! Oh, I knew you would! (kisses Alvin)

Charlene: Crap! He reversed the commands! I'm out of here! (runs off)

Alvin: (Finds a box) Well, lookie here…

Joelle: How can he move so fast?

Seymour: I'll cover you, get out of here!

Joelle: R-right. (runs off as Seymour holds Alvin off)

Seymour: I don't have time to deal with you fools, I'm out of here!

(Seymour leaves)

Simon: Thank goodness that's over. Alvin, I guess that makes you a hero! (makes a call on his cell phone)

Alvin: Well, this is how I did it-

Simon: (talks on cell phone) You can answer that on the next show. But I'm talking to the studio director right now, and he would like to reward you.

Alvin: YAAAY! I GET MY SHOW BACK! PARTY'S ON TONIGHT!

Simon: Yes, UNDER THREE CONDITIONS:

Alvin: Aw, jeez…

Simon: First off, NO ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION. At least not until next year when you're twenty-one.

Alvin: Fine.

Simon: Secondly, NO EXPLICIT – well, you know what.

Alvin: WHAT?

Simon: That's right. If you must do it, do it while hiding yourselves down there.

Alvin: Well, that's lame. But I can still do the dirty parodies, right?

Simon: I don't see why not. Thirdly, you can only do the show once a month.

Alvin: ONCE A MONTH? AW, NUTS!

Simon: That's OK; I'm dropping down to once a month as well. CosmicKitten89 is too busy with other things, such as the Chipmunks Parody Show on Youtube, to sponsor this show every week. That last episode took her three and a half hours.

Now, I am sorry to all my fans; it appears that time has flown this week, quite literally, and I'm afraid that I need to rest so I can have the energy to answer your questions.

Fortunately, next month happens to be next week, so…

See you all this July!

Oh, and Adam Seville and his family have volunteered to guest-star in my next episode!

Brittany: Simon, you are forgetting something! Look behind you!

Simon: Jeanette! How could I forget; she's frozen!

Brittany: But I bet you can free her with a kiss!

Simon: I don't know…

Alvin: Just do it!

Simon: Well, I'm afraid I should probably experiment to discover the properties of Dark world cryogenics before…

(Simon moves in closer)

Jeanette…

(Kisses Jeanette)

Jeanette: I am free! Simon-(gasps)

Simon has taken Jeanette's place as a frozen statue.

**Thanks to The Chipette Protector for writing the script for the Darkmunks for this episode!**


	15. Shocking News and More

Simon: Happy July, everybody, and thank you for waiting a month for the next installment of Ask Simon!

If you were wondering why we took so long to this month's episode, well, we were busy having a good time at the San Diego Comic-Con. As for our sponsor, well, her father just had a stroke, which struck the artery in his neck that led to the right side of his brain, resulting in partial paralysis of much of the left side of his body, as well as left-neglect, which is a condition that makes you unable to perceive things in your left field of vision, despite being able to see them. He can walk, but he has trouble moving the fingers on his left arm, and he must go on a dice diet and monitor his swallowing, for his swallow response is too slow, and can result in food going down the trachea. He is, however, doing remarkably well considering what he is recovering from. As for CosmicKitten89, well, she is staying at the house of one of her father's friends, and is having fun going out to places with his daughters.

Now, before I answer your questions, I have some more important – and somewhat disturbing – news to present on this show…

Now, girls, remember when Knight of Renaissance Light asked you how Miss Miller died on the show?

Jeanette: Yes. It's a pity I wasn't around…

Simon: Well, he investigated the matter, and this video shows what he found out…

**(Beginning transmission)**

**A golden-armored figure, the Knight of Renaissance Light, sat alone in the aisles, waiting in the darkness of the cold chapel inside his castle. He looked down onto a pocket watch which he carried with him. He sighed with impatience as his turned to the door, as if he were expecting someone to come through it.**

**VOICE: So…you came alone, your Majesty.**

**The armored figure turned his head to the front where he saw a familiar figure that riled his blood. A black-cloaked adolescent male with a darker skin tone, long light-silver hair, and red eyes, sat on the steps near the shrine of Christ at the front.**

**KNIGHT: As I promised, Lord Odotherex.**

**ODOTHEREX: Oh come now. We can drop the nobility act. We both know that you don't think of me as…royalty.**

**KNIGHT: Indeed, and why should I consider you as a lord now? Even after your banishment from Hell, and your stripping of your title and immortality as the Antichrist, you still like to pretend that you are a ruler, don't you?**

**ODOTHEREX: Okay, let's cut the charade. You didn't call me here to mock me. So spill it: Why did you call for a temporary truce meeting?**

**KNIGHT: A better question would be, "Are you willing to listen if it means your life would be spared?"**

**ODOTHEREX: Really? Is that the best threat you can come up with? You know that even after my…fall from power, we still are at an impasse. But I digress. So what did you want to speak to me about?**

**KNIGHT: I heard that you sent an e-mail to a show called "Ask Simon."**

**ODOTHEREX: So? It's a popular talk show. Even my own followers take the time to watch. According to them, it's one of the most intellectual shows that fanfiction has ever created.**

**KNIGHT: Flattery won't diverge my focus. Anyway, I also heard how you placed a question…in my favor.**

**ODOTHEREX: And this is serious because…?**

**KNIGHT: Because you want something to do with Simon's world, right? The e-mail was the only way for you to ensure a chance to enter his world without anyone noticing, wasn't it?**

**ODOTHEREX: Hmm… okay. Let us say that I did want something from that world. What's it to you?**

**KNIGHT: I also discovered some very…distressing news from that world. Beatrice Miller, the caretaker and adoptive mother of the Chipettes, has been deceased for quite some time. Naturally, I felt grieved that the girls lost the closest thing to a mother.**

**ODOTHEREX: So what? The lady was old; she died in her sleep; she was bound to die anyway, just as all you mortals are bound to die in your old age.**

**KNIGHT: Not exactly. According to her physiology, provided by my moles on that world, she was actually older than she had claimed to be. Also, my medical spies said that the woman had a strict bill of clean health, if they were no interruptions, Miss Miller was theorized to live for another five years; seven, if she was lucky. However, Brittany said it might have been cancer or a heart attack.**

**ODOTHEREX: So she was expected to live a little longer than she was expected to. What does this have to do with me?**

**KNIGHT: That was what I found confusing. If she was expected to live a little longer, then there was an interruption. So I did a little investigating of my own on this medical mystery. And how exactly do you fit in the picture? Well, I have reason to believe that you had a hand in her…passing.**

**ODOTHEREX: (faking shock) Your highness, are you suggesting that I murdered that absent-minded woman? Now how would I be able to do such a thing without getting caught?**

**KNIGHT: Because it's your trademark. Your friends don't just give you titles like "The Great Strategist" or "The Ultimate Architect" or even "The Tainted Mastermind" for nothing. Your ability to create elaborate schemes and multi-stepped operations is your best trait as a warrior, and as a murderer, and you know it.**

**ODOTHEREX: Flattering me won't get you any answers, Knight. And besides, you know my game when it comes to homicide: I don't kill unless I get something out of it.**

**KNIGHT: That's what I thought too, and I nearly put you off the suspect list. Until my spies told me that they discovered what really caused her death.**

**ODOTHEREX: Did they now? Did Jeanette tell you?**

**KNIGHT: Not exactly. The hospital actually kept it under wraps except with the coroners. Now taking that knowledge, along with the psychological profiles of the Chipettes, I can assume that if the girls caught whiff of the actual cause of Miss Miller's death, well…let's just say that the eldest sister, Brittany, would have at least found reason to urge her sisters to hunt down their mother's murderer.**

**ODOTHEREX: Very sound theory. Now let's say that what you said is true. So what did kill her?**

**KNIGHT: As far as I know, before the burial staff of that world put Miss Miller to rest, my medical spies discovered that the cause of death was poisoning. To be more specific, a diluted and inhibited solution of tetrodotoxin, one of the most deadly poisons in the universe. They said that the poison killed her at exactly 1:34 AM on the exact date of her death.**

**ODOTHEREX: Interesting…and what gives you the idea that I killed her with it?**

**KNIGHT: For one thing, my spies found an empty vial on your territory.**

**The Knight pulled out a labeled vial for Odotherex to view.**

**KNIGHT: You may notice that it is labeled "Lord Odotherex's tetrodotoxin. Property of Lord Odotherex. Do not touch except for Lord Odotherex". And in your handwriting, too.**

**ODOTHEREX: Please, anyone could have forged that.**

**KNIGHT: Then maybe this next piece of evidence will convince you otherwise. They also found the home address for Miss Miller and timings for different dilutions of the poison in question. Not to mention, they were numerous witnesses stating that they saw you before. Silver hair, dark skin, red eyes, black cloak; the works. They said that on the day before her death, you just happened to run into Miss Miller at the grocery store, apologized, and helped her pick up her groceries.**

**ODOTHEREX: So what?**

**KNIGHT: What if that "accident" was planned? That you somehow managed to lace her groceries with the poison while helping her pick them up? Miss Miller would have then unknowingly consumed the poison without delay. And because the poison was diluted and inhibited, you knew that the poison wouldn't kill her until she was deep in her sleep. You also knew that the girls would catch whiff of it and would be brokenhearted over this. Broken enough for someone devious enough to take control of the situation. Someone like you.**

**Odotherex was speechless. From such little details his literal foil has perfectly deduced his plan. He sneered upon his foe, given the Knight some satisfaction that he was right.**

**KNIGHT: No more games, Odotherex. Now tell me why. Why did you murder Miss Miller?**

**ODOTHEREX: (pauses) Because I wanted something. She was in the way. And I got rid of her.**

**KNIGHT: And what did you want? Revenge? Power? Or just something to satisfy that bloodlust of yours?**

**ODOTHEREX: None of the above. It was the girls I was after; specifically, their voices. I figured if I could take the Chipettes under my wing, I could enhance their musical talent to influence the masses, lure the power of the people into my hands. With them, I could build an army, an army of hive-minded warriors unafraid to die for my sake. I would be using the humanities to destroy humanity. However, because I knew of the possibility that those doctors could be smart enough to discover the cause of death, I had to leave. So now I needed a way to get back, to take those girls and use their gift for my plans. And I think you already know how I got the connection.**

**KNIGHT: Still I wonder…what should happen to you if they found out what, or in this case, who really caused Miss Miller's death?**

**ODOTHEREX: Nothing, because I'll simply deny the whole thing. I'll simply create an alibi, and my followers would support it, keeping me in the clear. So no one would ever believe you. And why would they? Deep inside that cold, sturdy armor is just an autistic teen who can't even think straight. So knowing that, why did you bother to ask?**

**KNIGHT: (sighs before looking at Odotherex) No reason. I simply wanted to hear the truth from the horse's mouth. Nothing more than that. However, I do have one last question.**

**ODOTHEREX: What?**

**KNIGHT: Are you happy? Does it make you feel good to destroy the only person close to a mother away from three sweet girls? Three girls who had only each other and had to survive on their own before Miss Miller? Three girls who had never known their real mother, and may have one time or another wished to meet her? Those girls were heartbroken and grief-stricken because of you, and yet you act like it's no big deal! Am I right? Answer me!**

**ODOTHEREX: (pauses) Why did those girls make such a fuss over the death of an aging parent? The moment a mortal's body begins to give out on them, they accept the reality that they might die on any given day, by any circumstances. As for my reaction to my "crime", you should at least be thanking me. Knowing humans as much as I do, Miss Miller was probably anxiously waiting for the day that she could stop and simply take a long rest. So in a way, I was more than happy to kill her, not only for my sake, but for hers as well. I simply did her soul a favor. Now she can live a peaceful afterlife without any burdens, like those girls, to carry. So to answer your question, yes I am, to some extent.**

**As Odotherex monotonously spoke, the Knight's gauntlets clutched with anger at Odotherex's view of murder being pity for the mortals. But he knew the truth: any kind of murder, whether justified or not, was an act against both nature and God.**

**ODOTHEREX: Well then, if that is all you wished to speak to me about, then I guess I'll take my leave.**

**Odotherex stood up and made his way towards the door, until the Knight called out.**

**KNIGHT: You know, the truth will have to come out. Sooner or later.**

**ODOTHEREX: Well, it's neither "sooner" nor "later" now. Isn't it? (smugly chuckles) **

**(Ending transmission)**

(The Chipettes gasp.)

Brittany: Why, that…

Jeanette: I met somebody who fit that description at the Comic-Con. He seemed friendly, and I got into a long discussion with him about music, and also about Miss Miller. He said that he was wealthy and could, well, help us with our careers and take us in a whole new direction. He even offered to allow us to live with him…

Eleanor: You turned him down, right?

Jeanette: Well, I decided to consider… but I won't consider now.

Simon: Well, that's not all that I found out. Here's something else that the Knight of Renaissance Light sent me…

**(Begin transmission)**

**The room was like a family mausoleum; dark, ancient, decrepit, and hollow. At the far end of the room. stood twelve tarnished black thrones, in seven of which sat shadowed figures. The decomposition of the room was only covered by the scent of candles that hung from the walls of the room; it was like a scent similar to myrrh, a scent that seemed to produce an aura of gloom in the room. The doors opened to reveal a human-sized green dragon with black spikes wearing a black bionic armor. He was carrying in what appeared to be a yellow sphere with three Darkmunks, three Darkettes, and Charlene inside. As the large doors closed, a shadowed figure in the center throne rose. The figure entered the light of the candles to reveal a black-cloaked adolescent male with a darker skin tone, long light-silver hair, and red eyes. This was Lord Odotherex.**

**ODOTHEREX: You caught them so soon, Chase?**

**The dragon soon reverted into a long black-haired, golden-eyed man, wearing dark brownish-green armor.**

**CHASE: It was actually no trouble, master. Though their dark elemental powers proved to be a challenge, I was able to trap these so-called "masters of true darkness" in the Sphere of Yun. Not even Whitney's electricity can break its boundaries.**

**ODOTHEREX: Excellent. Now release them. I would like to speak with them.**

**CHASE: As you wish. Sphere of Yun!**

**As its name was spoken, the sphere disapparated, dropping the six evils onto the stone floor. They scornfully looked up at the cloaked figure with disdain.**

**MELVIN: Hey, what the heck are you doing? Do you know who we are?**

**ODOTHEREX: Actually, I do. You're the Darkmunks and the Darkettes that my spies told me much about. Isn't that right, Melvin? Seymour and Theao? Whitney, Joelle, Eloise? And you must be Charlene. Yes, I believe so. But I do wonder, do you know who I am?**

**WHITNEY: Why should we? You're nothing! You're just a lowly mortal!**

**Her comment received a swift slash by a shadow from behind, causing her to grasp at her bleeding side. Though they weren't easily prone to fear, they shook as they felt a multitude of inhuman presences in the room. From the shadows came an innocent young boy with short dark hair and dark eyes, and wearing a school uniform. Surrounding him on the ground was a black mass of shadows covered in eyes and mouths. This was Pride the Arrogant. He looked upon the seven guests with great disdain.**

**PRIDE:(calmly) How dare you call Brother a lowly mortal, you arrogant gnat? Insulting him is like insulting all of the Homunculi.**

**From shadows came five more figures. A very beautiful woman, Lust, stepped out from the shadows. She was tall, slender and well-endowed, with long dark hair and dark eyes. She wore a black robe, long gloves and high heels. Above her upper-center sternum was a red mark in the shape of a serpentine dragon devouring its own tail.**

**A slender man with pale skin, Envy, stepped out. He was a rather androgynous young man in his late teens, with long dark hair and dark eyes, dressed in black garments. On his left thigh was the dragon-shaped mark, just like Lust had.**

**An obese man, Gluttony, stepped out. He was short and bald, with white eyes, oversized teeth and had the dragon mark on his hanging tongue.**

**A tall, well-built and muscular man, Greed, stepped out. He had dark hair, a pointed face and sharp pointed teeth. He wore the black clothing common among the homunculi, plus a black jacket with a white fur-collar and a pair of sunglasses. His dragon mark was found on the back of his left hand.**

**Finally, a tall man in a blue uniform, Wrath, stepped out. He had short, evenly cut black hair and a short black moustache, and was carrying two sabers by his belt. His left eye revealed a dragon mark on it.**

**ODOTHEREX: What pride and arrogance you creatures have. You deny humanity as your equals, yet you're lower than any human that we have come across.**

**WRATH: Indeed. I don't believe we have seen creatures with such conceit like you do.**

**SEYMOUR: What did he say?**

**JOELLE: Seymour, you idiot! He said we're too proud!**

**ODOTHEREX: As to who I am, I am Lord Odotherex. And not only do I know who you are, I also know of your boastful claim on how my quest for power is worthless.**

**MELVIN: It is, because we already have all the power of our world!**

**ENVY: Actually, you twerps don't have all the power. There is still one seat of power remaining in the universe: the seat of God.**

**THEAO: Huh? The seat of God? Why would we want that?**

**GREED: Well, for one thing, you only control one world. Odotherex is actually attempting to overthrow God and become the Creator himself. So basically, he who becomes God, controls all the worlds in all universes in his hand. Not to mention, he would also be able to control all aspects of life, including control over life and death.**

**MELVIN: He's right. Despite our world being "ours", the seat of God is what we should have been after all along. Why didn't I see that?**

**LUST: Because people like you have such simple needs. The minds of mortals are only limited by their desires. So in your case, compared to Odotherex's goals, your goals are too simplistic. **

**ODOTHEREX: Indeed. Which is why I am willing to offer you a chance to obtain the seat of God!**

**MELVIN: Wait! Why would you want to help us gain the seat of God?**

**ODOTHEREX: Because if you do become the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, you will need an adviser, someone who knows perfectly well how these insignificant creations think and function. Someone who know what makes mortals "tick", to coin a phrase. That would be me. So what do you say? Are you…interested?**

**MELVIN: Okay, let's say we were interested. How would you be able to make us God?**

**ODOTHEREX: In order for one to become God, one must defeat the common enemy that all mortals fear and despise: Death itself. In other words, achieve immortality.**

**WHITNEY: Really, and we need you to help us because…?**

**ODOTHEREX: Because I have obtained immortality myself, by use of the Philosopher's Stone.**

**JOELLE: The Philosopher's Stone? It's supposed to be a myth! Even I know that!**

**Upon said comment, Odotherex reached into his robe and brought out a small vial filled with a blood-red liquid, a small blood-red pearl, and a blood-red shard.**

**ODOTHEREX: There's your proof. The many forms of the Philosopher's Stone. This power could be yours, but I don't wish to waste this power.**

**MELVIN: Why?**

**ODOTHEREX: (pauses) What if I told that the immortality that the Stone can give, is not the ultimate version of immortality? That the ultimate version is so powerful that it stands right underneath your snouts?**

**MELVIN: I'd say, what would you want in return?**

**ODOTHEREX: Oh nothing much, just…absolute control of your world.**

**MELVIN: What?**

**WHITNEY: Hold on, Melvin! Odotherex did say that becoming God gives a person absolute control of all the worlds. So we risk one world to control all the worlds.**

**THEAO: She's right! We need the seat of God, but we need to become immortal to do it. Now this mortal-**

**Odotherex cleared his throat angrily to remind them of Whitney's earlier comment.**

**THEAO: I mean, Odotherex, wants to give us immortality. We had better take it while it's up for grabs.**

**MELVIN: All right! I need to think…(pauses) We'll take you up on your offer! But trick us out of immortality and you will pay!**

**ODOTHEREX: Trust me, when this is over, you will have the immortality you desire so much.**

**With that, Odotherex snapped his fingers and caused the candlelight to grow, revealing a bargaining table in the center of the room. On the table was an ancient contract, dubbed Regnum pro Immortalitate(Kingdom for immortality). On the side was an ink bottle, filled with a liquid that was either actual blood or just blood-colored ink. Odotherex pulled out six quills, which the seven children noticed quickly.**

**SEYMOUR: Hey, why are there six quills in the bottle? There are seven of us!**

**ODOTHEREX: Very perceptive. But allow me to explain: the reason that only six of you will be gaining immortality, is because seven, when discussing terms of God, is a dangerous amount to have of anything. This includes people who simultaneously gain immortality. I just don't wish to take any idiotic risks. So if I were you, I would forbid the one with the least importance from gaining immortality.**

**MELVIN: You're right; one of us should not be allowed to gain immortality.**

**JOELLE: And I think I know who that somebody is. Charlene, I wish I was sorry, but you have no powers; therefore, the least important.**

**CHARLENE: What? After you treated me like your sister, you're just gonna abandon me? That's not fair!**

**Joelle slapped Charlene across her face.**

**JOELLE: Who said life was fair? (turns to Odotherex) Give us those pens!**

**Each Darkmunk and Darkette, save Charlene, took a quill and dipped it in the blood ink. They each signed their mark of authentication on the contract. While they were signing, Odotherex gave a small smile and a nod to Pride, who in response manipulated the shadows to surround the Darkmunks and Darkettes, leaving Charlene outside the shadowy mass. The shadows began to form an unusual shape underneath their feet. The Darkmunks and Darkettes completed their signatures.**

**MELVIN: So…what happens now? Where's our immortality?**

**ODOTHEREX: Look below you.**

**Both trios looked down to see Pride's shadows in the shape of a circle with two pentagons inside the circle. The two groups were standing right in the middle of the inner pentagon with shock and confusion.**

**MELVIN: What's going on here? What are you doing?**

**ODOTHEREX: Honoring our agreement. I'm sure you're aware of the arts of alchemy. Well, this is a "special" transmutation circle. With it, you shall achieve perfect immortality. Now if this transformation is to proceed quickly, I suggest that you trust me for once, and stay still inside the circle**

**With that, Odotherex clapped his hands and pressed them down at the circle's edge. The circle suddenly began to glow eerily red. Tiny black arms began to rise from the circle's edge. Suddenly, Charlene felt a stronger, even darker feeling from this circle, as if this circle was going to do something terrible.**

**CHARLENE: That is what immortality is supposed to be? No, you must be mistaken.**

**Suddenly without warning, Melvin began to gag and plummeted to the ground.**

**MELVIN: What's going on? You...you traitor!**

**ODOTHEREX: Much like yourselves, your puny ant! Only I am good at it! No one is better at double-dealing, than Lord Odotherex! Remember that! While you still can.**

**After a moment, the gagging stopped and he went still. One by one, the same thing happened with Seymour, Theao, and the Darkettes. Charlene now realized what the circle was doing: it was killing them.**

**CHARLENE: Odotherex, what's going on here? YOU said you'd make them immortal.**

**ODOTHEREX: Insolent fool, I am making them immortal, just as I said I would! I mean, what better way is there to becoming immortal, than to become the very thing that makes people immortal?**

**A large eye opened within the boundaries of the circle. The black hands soon reached down into the eye floated above. When they rose, they covered what they pulled out of the eye. The circle's glow soon began to die down. Once the glowing stopped, Pride scattered his shadows leaving the six dark counterparts lifeless bodies and a blood-red shard in the center. Charlene couldn't believe it. She broke down and wept over the loss of their lives. Odotherex picked up the shard and gazed upon it with pride.**

**ODOTHEREX: Well, there's two less groups to stand in my way now.**

**He put the shard inside his robe and turned to Gluttony.**

**GLUTTONY: I waited for them to die, like you said! Can I eat them now? Please, Brother? They smell so yummy!**

**ODOTHEREX: Well, I suppose I do need to insure that no trace of evidence is found. Very well, you can eat them now.**

**GLUTTONY: Yes! Thank you, Brother!**

**ODOTHEREX: But don't make a mess.**

**As Gluttony walked over to the limp bodies, Odotherex made his way to Charlene who was lost in her grief. He placed a hand on her shoulder.**

**ODOTHEREX: Why weep for these lost souls? You should be rejoicing. Those counterparts planned on using you, didn't they?**

**Charlene didn't reply and continued to cry. She couldn't believe that the closest thing she had to a family, was gone.**

**ODOTHEREX: Charlene, look at me when I'm talking to you.**

**She finally sucked it up and looked into Odotherex's emotionless red eyes with her grief-struck blue eyes.**

**ODOTHEREX: Why do you think I denied you in the contract? To see whether your "sisters" would still include you on the deal, and to save you the pain of being used. Those girls saw you as a stepping stone, and nothing more. But I- I see you as a potential partner in my grand scheme.**

**CHARLENE: (sniffles) Part-…partner?**

**ODOTHEREX: Together, we could achieve our dreams. You and I. I will become God, and the Homunculi shall be your new family. One that will see your true potential. **

**CHARLENE: Re...really?**

**ODOTHEREX: Of course. And what's more, with the status of Homunculus, you will be able to take vengeance on your blood sisters for leaving you, their friends for siding with them, and every single gnat that has ever done you wrong in life.**

**CHARLENE: You really think that?**

**ODOTHEREX: Yes, and all you have to do to join our family, is to become one of us.**

**With that, he pulled out the vial with the Philosopher's Stone in liquid form.**

**PRIDE: A Philosopher's Stone? Odotherex, you don't mean…?**

**LUST: Odotherex, you couldn't mean...?**

**ENVY: Are you really going to do that for her?**

**CHARLENE: What? What does Odotherex want to do for me?**

**ENVY: It seems he wants to make you into a Homunculus. It's a very simple process: the Stone is added to the bloodstream. If it successfully merges with a body, then a corporal-based homunculus is formed. But…**

**WRATH: It's more common for the Stone to overpower its victims and subject them to death.**

**CHARLENE: What? I can't!**

**ODOTHEREX: Trust me: those who die from the Stone's influence are but the small worthless part of the mortals who are affected by the Stone. But those like myself and Wrath, have overpowered the Stone, so I believe that you can overcome its power, too.**

**He signaled for Lust to thrust her finger across Charlene's hand. The finger was more like a thin blade as it created a small bleeding cut on her hand. Charlene clutched her hand in pain. However, Odotherex had another idea in mind as he took her cut hand and hovered the Stone liquid above the cut.**

**ODOTHEREX: It's the only way, I'm afraid. You want a family, and we need help. So why not accept the Stone so we can help each other with our problems.**

**Charlene fearfully opened her hand exposing the cut.**

**ODOTHEREX: That-a-girl. Now when the Stone enters your body, you may gain the urge to kill yourself. That is natural, because the body will attempt to reject the Stone. But don't subject to it, and don't fall for the Stone's power. You must overpower the Stone, not the other way around. Can you do that?**

**Charlene nodded. Odotherex poured the Stone onto her cut. It soon began to enter her cut, as if the liquid was alive. Upon entry, numerous pains swept throughout her body as the Stone began to take influence on her body. Her body was being continuously destroyed and repaired, as the Stone and the body combat for control. Charlene had a choice: to die by the Stone's power, or to overcome its power. With a pain-filled shriek, the Stone's damages began to lessen. She soon collapsed from exhaustion of attempting to regain control. Her body went still afterwards.**

**ENVY: I knew it. Her soul just wasn't worth it, like all mortals are.**

**CHARLENE: What did you say, Envy?**

**The Homunculi were shocked. Charlene was still alive. And she was different. On her right cheek was the dragon mark that the Homunculi shared.**

**ODOTHEREX: It worked! You are now a homunculus. Now let me see, what will your name be?**

**CHARLENE: My name? I have one already: Charlene.**

**ODOTHEREX: I meant your homunculus name. Every Homunculus here is named after a sin that has infected humanity for eons: Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Pride. Now let me think…I have it! How does "Fraud the Deceitful Homunculus" sound?**

**CHARLENE: "Fraud", huh?**

**ODOTHEREX: Named after the sin that involved the breaking of one's trust in another. Similar to how your sisters, by bond and by blood, broke your trust. Now you shall have the honor of breaking the bond that lies among those six, as well as the trust that exists among all mortals. It's considered one of the most powerful sins ever. What do you think?**

**Normally Charlene would have rejected the idea of being named after a sin. However, though she overcame the Stone's power, she felt more…treacherous than before.**

**CHARLENE: I like it. Yes, I think that'll do nicely.**

**ODOTHEREX: It's settled then. You are home…sister.**

**As Charlene joyfully embraced the emotionless Odotherex, Gluttony joyfully rose up from the ground, his face covered with the blood of Charlene's former sisters and her old friends. He was greedily licking the blood right off his hands.**

**GLUTTONY: Oh, those were so yummy! So many emotions and feelings…makes them all the more delicious! Hee-hee-hee!**

**(End transmission)**

(The Chipmunks and Chipettes are speechless)

Theodore: Simon? That was scary. I am worried…

Jeanette: Poor Charlene…

Simon: W-well, Knight of Renaissance Light, if you are watching right now, I need more information if I am to assist you in your quest to defeat this great evil.

Now, to lighten up the show, let's get to the questions:

Someone asks:

**WHERE'S THE NEXT UPDATE?**

Simon: Right here, thanks for asking.

GottaLoveMeCuzI'mKaylee asks:

**Hi. I just want to know why my review wasn't on there? I got kinda annoyed. Please Pm me back or write me back or put my review in next chap. Thanks.**

Simon: Hmm, I don't remember receiving a review from you… Would you please resend it, because, as you can see, I've got over 300 reviews so far, many of which aren't real reviews, which might explain why yours slipped under my radar, and it would be quite difficult for me to fish it out to put on here. Thank you.

Chipmunkfanantic asks:

**Hey Simon you should check out a Story / Movie called Adam and the chipmunks : The Squeakquel it Starts out the Same and ends alittle Different then you may think you see Dave Ends up Marrying Claire thought i would change the ending alittle but the song Selections Check them out some i pulled from Alvin and the chipmunks The Sqeakquel like Hot n Cold well mostly that one and other songs Like Highway to hell Earth Angel (will you be mine ) Power of Love Rock n roll all night you got the touch and Eye of the Tiger but I changed the last two like in the orginal version it had we are Family and Shake your Groove thing but i changed it to Eye of the tiger and highway to hell now in this version Brian Jason and Ethen are working for Ian and so are the CGI girls but this time Brittany Falls in love with one of my OC's Adam and so do Jeanette Eleanor Jill Sheryl and Charlene Seville but Brian Jason and Ethen remain Loyle to Ian but I did keep the plot as close to the movie as i could Like the Opening Scene for Instance and I even kept some the Dialouge Similar but the point is I remembered the plot of the Movie and I had to do a retelling of it **

**Simon do you think i should Do a retelling of the Chipmunk Adventure or one of the Alvin and the chipmunk Episodes ?**

**Anyway I even had an Idea of a new one on my mind its called the Katy Chronicals its set a few years after the Chipmunk adventure but anyway I am thinking of DOing a retelling of Alvin and the chipmunks (2007) but anyway DO you think i should do it ? Anyway I have seen Storys about the third Movie and I'm thinking of Doing one of my own but what i do is this is watch the movie then do a Complete retelling while at the sametime keeping the Plot Similar to the Movie But one Author must wonder but it was my first attempt at a retelling of a movie but anyway check it out sometime and you will find out that some of the Dialouge is Similar but the Plot is alittle Different but follows the movie pretty well . Anyway the scene i found most funny was ian Dressed up as Brittany and using puppets to portray Eleanor and Jeanette now that was Funny when he Started Singing Single Ladies heck no one does it better than the Chipettes but anyway check out Adam and the chipmunks : The Squeakquel**

Simon: Well, sorry, I haven't had time to read it… my recommendation is that you come up with your own stories to write instead of retelling the Chipmunk Adventure or the TV series, unless you can add a fresh new spin to the episode or movie, as CosmicKitten89 does with her Chipmunks Parody Show on Youtube. She changes the episodes to make them sort of T-rated, and I think it would be an interesting spin on the Chipmunk Adventure if you wrote it like we, the Chipmunks, were teenagers instead of young children. And remember, the crystals inside the dolls are really crystal meth, not diamonds.

Spring-Heel Jaqueline asks:

**All right, just for the flow of things and since everybody else is doing it . . .**

**ALVIN: How would you describe Brittany and Charlene? Who would you choose and why?**

**SIMON: What is your intake on having Steve Vining being the singing vocals for you in the live action/CGI movies? As well as voicing you in the 'Chipmunk Punk' CD/Record?**

**JEANETTE: How come you hardly had any screen time in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel? The boys and your sisters all get ample screen time, whereas you seems to fall by the wayside, and are never seen without her sisters, even then you gets about five minutes of screen time that isn't singing and not to mention you don't have a scene with Simon unlike the others? Does it feel like your getting the shaft?**

**THEODORE: If Brittany and Alvin kissed in "Legend of the Sleeping Brittany" and Simon and Jeanette *supposedly* kissed in this so-called "Sploosh" episode, than why haven't you kissed Eleanor in the cartoons? Is it because Janice Karman is kissing herself unlike the aforementioned couples where Ross Bagdasarian Jr. (Alvin and Simon) kissed their respectable counterpart because his wife voices them? Or taking a step too far and saying it's like Janice Karmen kissing her late father-in-law Ross Bagdasarian Sr. (50's/60's Theodore)? Same goes for the CGI and their voice actors (Jesse McCartney & Amy Poehler and Janice Karman who sings for both). :]**

**ELEANOR: If Brittany and Alvin kissed in "Legend of the Sleeping Brittany" and Simon and Jeanette *supposedly* kissed in this so-called "Sploosh" episode, than why haven't Eleanor and Theodore kissed in the cartoons? Is it because Janice Karman is kissing herself unlike the aforementioned couples where Ross Bagdasarian Jr. (Alvin and Simon) kissed their respectable counterpart because his wife voices them? Or taking a step too far and saying it's like Janice Karmen kissing Jesse McCartney or him kissing Amy Poehler? :]**

**BRITTANY: If you and your sisters DID appear in "The Alvin Show," what would happen? And who would be your guardian? Miss Frumpington?**

**CHIPMUNKS: Speaking of "The Alvin Show," what are each of your intakes on Miss Frumpington and is she in some ways similar to Miss Miller? (that question also applies for the CHIPETTES). And what of Daisy Bell?**

**CHIPETTES: What are each of your opinions on the attire worn in the live action movies compared to the ones in the cartoons? **

**CHIPMUNKS: Speaking of clothes, did either of you ever wear pants under those oversize sweatshirts in "The Alvin Show" and "Alvin and The Chipmunks?"**

**EACH OPINION:**

**What other crossovers do each wish to do that hasn't happened? For example, I wanna read a Chip N' Dale Rescue Rangers crossover . . .**

**Since Theodore was turned into a werewolf and Alvin a psychotic weirdo or whatever Dr. Frankenstein turned him into, what related monster would Simon, Brittany, Eleanor and Jeanette turn into besides a werewolf and whatever Alvin was? How would you be cured?**

**What changes would you do in "The Alvin Show," "Alvin and the Chipmunks," and the recent movies?**

**What is each of your opinion on mixed couples (Alvin&Jeanette, Alvin&Eleanor, Simon&Brittany, Simon&Eleanor, Theodore&Brittany and Theodore&Jeanette)? What about sibling incest?**

**And if anybody DOES know the physical description of Michael and Vanessa Bagdasarian, much appreciated!**

**P.S. thank you for responding and don't forget to review my stuff**

Alvin: Well, Charlene is like Brittany, but older, with lighter colored hair, sort of a strawberry blonde, with yellowish green eyes. Brittany has light ginger hair, with bright blue eyes.

Simon: Well, it makes sense for them to give me a different voice than Alvin for our singing, since Theodore also has a different voice, although I personally believe that Ross Bagdasarian Jr. has the best speaking voice for me. CosmicKitten89 told me that his voice on me makes her melt (blushes)

Jeanette: It makes me melt too! (snuggles Simon) I don't know why they don't give me much screen time in the Squeakquel. Perhaps the writers that Hollywood hired weren't witty enough to come up with many good lines for an intellectual like me. It would have been better if Ross did more of the writing for it. He is quite smart, having graduated from Stanford with a B.A. in English and passed the bar exam after attending Southwestern Law School.

Theodore: Umm…

Eleanor: Well, Theodore is usually portrayed as less mature than the rest of us in the series, so the writers probably felt like he wasn't ready for that kind of thing. I don't think it had anything to do with our voice actors.

Theodore: Well, I'm mature now! (kisses Eleanor)

Brittany: Well, if we were in the Alvin Show, we would probably be portrayed rather sexist-ly, since it was made during the 50s or 60s, and we would probably take the place of that one girl in The Alvin Show that the boys were always falling in love with and butting heads with.

Simon: You mean Daisy Bell?

Brittany: Yeah, her.

Alvin: Well, you girls are prettier than her!

Brittany: Thank you.

Jeanette: She is stuck up.

Eleanor: Agreed.

Theodore: I think she's pretty.

Simon: Well, she is kind of smart, but I really can't believe we liked her so much…

As for Miss Frumpington, she was WAAAY different from Miss Miller.

Alvin: All snotty and stuck up… so I showed her how to have a good time!

Theodore: And she went crazy…

Alvin: Just like Miss Miller!

Jeanette: Except that Miss Miller didn't get taken away in a straitjacket to an insane asylum.

Eleanor: Perhaps they were less tolerant of that sort of behavior in the 60s.

Brittany: Either way, I would HATE to have that snooty woman as a parent.

Well, I think that it's about time they updated our clothes; after all, leg warmers are so 1980s.

Eleanor: But the 80s are back, remember? Anyway, I like that Brittany dresses more preppy in the show, although it's not really her style, but they made me less preppy.

Jeanette: Well, I think they did a good job at making me look geek-chic – you know, it matches my style, but still looks cool.

Simon: I do like your new outfit. CosmicKitten89 does too – she finally found a purple plaid skirt to wear with her denim jacket, and sort of cosplayed as you, and she got compliments on the way she dressed. I also like the new purple glasses – they look rather fetching on you. CosmicKitten89 likes them too – in fact she painted her own glasses purple so they would look like yours!

Jeanette: I thought she painted them purple because purple was her favorite color.

Simon: Yes, that too. She once had a pair of glasses that were made purple, but they were replaced with cheap plastic transparent brown frames, so she painted them with her purple nail polish.

Theodore: I think new Eleanor's outfit is cute.

Alvin: Well, I prefer Brittany's 80s outfit. I like for her to show a lot of skin. Preppy blazers and ties and stuff is just not her.

Simon: Do we wear pants under our shirts…

Alvin: (snorts) watch my show if you want to find out the answer to that…

Theodore: Well, sometimes…

Simon: (blushes) Well, for those of you too young to watch Alvin and Brittany's Midnight Party House, I was… not wearing anything down there… not even… underwear.

As for crossovers, well, I would like to see a crossover with Pinky and the Brain.

Jeanette: I would like to see us crossed over with Penguins of Madagascar!

Simon: They have one of those now.

Jeanette: Oh. Well, I dunno… Sailor Moon, maybe.

Theodore: I would like to see a crossover with Ducktales!

Eleanor: Me too! And Chip 'N Dale!

Alvin: I want a crossover with DragonBallZ!

Brittany: I want a crossover with Barbie!

Alvin: (laughs) BARBIE?

Brittany: Um, yeah, she gets to do fairytales and stuff, I want to do more fairytales!

Simon: Ooookay, then. If I were a monster, I would be a vampire, as all the fans would agree. They see me as kind of… suave, sophisticated, like a vampire…

Alvin: I think you would be Dr. Frankenstein! HA!

Simon: Alvin, Dr. Frankenstein isn't a monster, he merely makes them!

Brittany: I guess I would be the Bride of Frankenstein, since Simon's experiment makes me look like her in one episode.

Jeanette: I dress up as a mummy in one episode, so I guess I would be a mummy.

Eleanor: And I guess I would be a-

Alvin: A ghost, since everything else is taken!

Theodore: Not everything! She could also be a witch. What do you think?

Eleanor: Ghost, or witch… I would say witch.

Simon: Well, I would cure myself with an anti-vampirism serum that I would have invented…

Brittany: I guess Simon would cure me from being an electrified zombie or whatever…

Jeanette: I would have to be cured by some magic pendant or something…

Eleanor: I would need to create some full moon potion, I guess.

Simon: Well, if I could change the shows and movies, I would make them so that I get a larger role, and also correct things to make them more scientifically and historically accurate.

Jeanette: Me too, but I'm not sure I would want a larger role.

Alvin: Well I would make it so that I WIN all the time, and am always right!

Brittany: Well, I would make it so that I always BEAT Alvin!

Eleanor: Well I'd make it so that we would all be nice to each other and maybe more romantic instead of butting heads all the time!

Theodore: Me too! But I would want you to get a bigger role in the cartoon!

Jeanette: I would be more smart and less clumsy, and I would invent things like Simon!

Simon: Well, the creators wanted to distinguish you from me, rather than making you a female clone of me.

Anyway, let's move on to the next question:

Kaylie98 asks:

**Actually Simon, I saw Theodore's remark on, um, serious relationships, and Alvin's, of course. I'm pleased that you're waiting until you're Married though. I, um, did take a peek at that show, but i just wanted to see what it meant when you said, song requests. i wondered if you would be singing.**

**By the way, have you read my one-shot for Theodore and Eleanor? It's ok, i guess. You don't have to read it, if you don't want to. Seriously. You don't.**

**Watch out for Jillian!**

Simon: Naughty, naughty! Well, I don't blame you for being curious…

Well, I don't do song requests on my show. I get way too many questions to answer to have time to devote to that. And I did take a peek at your Theo and Ellie one-shot, but I'm not big on romances between those two… I'm still waiting for you to do one on Jeanette and me.

Oh, and what's this?

**I didn't read anything bad though! Just saw Alvin singing and left! Quick as i could!**

Simon: Haha, don't blame you for leaving that quick! You don't need to be reading that at your age. Although there may come a time when you get older and become more… curious about that kind of thing. It doesn't make you a bad person, though; it's one thing to watch them, and another thing to do it. Just look at CosmicKitten89 – she's as, erm…

Alvin: Prudish as you are?

Simon: OK… she has never even thought about doing any of the, erm, crazy antics that Alvin and Brittany pull on that show – in fact, she has never even had a boyfriend; she would probably hold out until marriage like me – but when she does that show, she lets her twisted imagination run loose!

Alvin: He he he…

Simon: What are you laughing about?

Alvin: Oh, nothing…

Simon: I can tell it's not nothing, but that is something to settle after the show. Well, Kaylie98 again asks:

**So, when ARE you getting married?**

Simon: Well, Jeanette and I will probably get married the summer after we finish grad school – after whoever finishes last.

Jeanette: You will finish first.

Simon: Well, I don't know about that…

Jeanette: Oh, right, you want to stay in grad school forever, getting a Ph. D. in everything!

Simon: Well, after I earn my first Ph. D., we're getting married.

(Simon and Jeanette kiss.)

Simon: OK, Eminem1995 asks:

**Simon:Why do you have to be so good-looking**

**Alvin:Why do you always fight with Brittany**

Alvin: Hey, I'M the one who's good looking!

Simon: Well, I don't know why… genetics, I guess. I am tall, which some ladies find attractive, with a slender bod, which is usually considered more attractive on women than men-

Alvin: Yeah, the way you're always putting your hands on your hips like a girl… no wonder everyone thinks you're gay! And not having done it to Jeanette yet-

Simon: That is QUITE enough, Alvin. Also, many of my fans have a glasses fetishism, which means that they find glasses to be attractive.

Alvin: As do why I always fight with Brittany… man, if I had a dollar for every time somebody on this show or mine asked me that question, I'd be… even richer! Maybe you should charge per question, Simon!

Simon: NO. (sighs) This is why I don't like you to come on my show very often…

Alvin: But you are still coming on mine, right?

Simon: Yes, but for EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY.

Alvin: YES!

Simon: I don't like how excited you are about that. Anyway, moving on:

Storm Uchiha asks:

**Cool show so far. Alvin's a little deliquent. **

**So here are my questions...And a request.**

**1. What would you do if you had to go through a full month without inventing anything at all?**

**2. Have you discovered the cure for the Swine Flu?**

**3. Do you know what Zydrate is?**

**4. Do you think your smarter then Lelouch Vi Britannia from Code Geass?**

**And my request...Have Alvin look up Yaoi on google...I promise you it'll shock him for awhile to stop causing trouble for a short while.**

Simon: Well, there have been times when I have gone through a whole month without inventing anything at all – usually thanks to Alvin bugging me, or because I'm on tour, although sometimes I invent things even while on tour…

And yes, I have discovered a cure for Swine Flu, but the medical companies are trying to buy it off of me so that I can't use it to cure anyone. You see, there is no money in the cure, only in the drugs that are marketed to treat the symptoms. Sad, sad…

Speaking of Swine Flu, CosmicKitten89 went to the Balboa Park Science Center the other day and picked up a plush Swine Flu virus! They sell them at gift stores in science museums and places like that, and they are called Giant Microbes, and they come in many different varieties – plushies of blood cells, brain cells, stem cells, cold viruses, Staph bacteria, krill, Mad Cow disease, Lyme disease, and many more.

Jeanette: I have them all! They are sooo cute! The Swine Flu one is pretty pink with red eyes and looks like a pig snout when viewed from one end!

Simon: Anyway, yes, I do know what Zydrate is. It's a fictional drug used in the movie _Repo! The Genetic Opera_ to anesthetize plastic surgery patients. Very interesting movie, actually; excellent songs, kind of gross and gory but in a comedic way, and definitely NOT for little kids. In fact, CosmicKitten89 put part of the song "Zydrate Anatomy" for the end credits of the Chipmunks Parody Show Episode 4: The Legend of Stoned Brittany.

Well, I looked up Lelouch Vi Britannia on Wikipedia, and though it's difficult to compare characters from different fandoms, I do believe that, as intelligent as he is, I am probably more intelligent, in some ways at least.

All right, Alvin, you know what yaoi is, don't you?

Alvin: It's Japanese, right?

Simon: It's what you've been wanting to do with me on your show.

Alvin: OH! Hehe, but do I REALLY have to watch others-

Simon: Just fulfill the nice reviewer's request.

Alvin: Hehe, OK… (Googles up "yaoi" on his phone)… Ugh, what's with all the anime guys kissing each other? Oh, well, at least none of it is X-rated…

Simon: What's the matter, I thought you liked X-rated!

Alvin: OK, I am having second thoughts about you…

Simon: Good. Thank you, Storm Uchiha. Next question, from fanboy's girl:

**hey Simon ever heard of the show Fanboy and Chum Chum?**

**oh and PIRATE PIZZA MONKEYS! XD**

Simon: OK, that was random…

Yes, I have heard of the show Fanboy and Chum Chum, but, no offense, it is really not my taste in television entertainment…

It's good to see that Sammy's back, and apologizing. Good going, Sammy!

Now the Knight of Renaissance Light asks:

**My request concerned what Lord Odotherex wrote, allegedly in MY favor. As much as I would like to not give reason to agree with him, but could Alvin and Brittany perform a duet of Celine Dion's and Peabo Bryson's "Beauty and the Beast"? I mean, it is considered a romantic song, even in its "Chipmunked" version. So what do you think?**

Simon: Well, I really don't do song requests on this show, especially since it is considered plagiarism unless you change the lyrics-

Alvin: Let's hit it, Brittany!

_Tale as old as time…_

_True as it can be_

_Rivals more than friends_

_Then somebody bends _

_Unexpectedly…_

_Brittany:_

_Just a little change_

_Small to say the least_

_Both a little scared_

_Neither one prepared_

_Brittany and the Beast_

_Alvin and Brittany:_

_Ever just the same_

_Ever a surprise_

_Ever as before_

_Ever just as sure_

_As the sun will rise_

_Tale as old as time_

_Tune as old as song_

_Bittersweet and strange_

_Finding you can change_

_Learning you were wrong_

_Certain as the sun_

_Rising in the east_

_Tale as old as time_

_Song as old as rhyme_

_Brittany and the beast. _

Simon: Well, thank goodness it wasn't one of THOSE parodies. However, you only changed two lyrics – three, if you count both times you changed Beauty to Brittany.

Brittany: Well, we wanted to personalize it.

Simon: Well, to answer your question, KoRL, yes, it is a romantic song. I am a fan of Alan Menken's composing, although I think it sound better as sung by Angela Lansbury, the voice of Mrs. Potts, than by Peabo Bryson and Celine Dion – not that they're not good as well; that's just my personal preference.

Here's a review from Awesomo3000:

**Yo, Simon! Awesomo3000 here! Got some questions for ya, and Alvin & Brittany, if they're there:**

**Simon:**

**If there was an alien invasion & you could only use one weapon, what would you use?**

**What's your favourite Linkin Park song?**

**What's the most successful experiment you & Jeanette have done at school?**

**What does CosmicKitten89 think of the CGI films?**

**What is your favourite cartoon from the 90s? Mine's Animaniacs! Such a great show!**

**Jeanette:**

**Sonic the Hedgehog or Mario?**

**What does E=MC2 mean?**

**Have you ever tried wearing contacts before?**

**Ellie: **

**What 2011 movie are you looking forward to seeing?**

**How do you respond to people who call you fat?**

**What's your opinion on your CGI self? I think you looked SO adorable!**

**Theo: **

**What are you & Ellie gonna call your Q&A show, if you make one?**

**Who's your favourite comedian? (Mine's Rodney Dangerfield!)**

**What's your favourite junk food?**

**Brittany:**

**What's your opinion on your CGI self? I think you looked SO hot!**

**What's your favorite hairstyle?**

**Who is your favourite female singer?**

**How would you react if you saw Alvin kissing Charlene?**

**Alvin:**

**Why do you always act like a jerk? Do you have a heart?**

**Why is it you have the first letter of your name on your sweater but Simon & Theo don't?**

**What's your favourite ACDC song?**

**Answer my questions! Awesomo3000 out! PS: Simon, your show's awesome! Eleven out of ten stars!**

Simon: Well, I wouldn't bomb them, that's for sure. I would probably use a hypno ray on them to hypnotize them into becoming peaceful, destroying all of their weapons and going home. I'd say shrink ray, but my shrink ray is designed to make it so that they return to their normal size when placed in water, although I can design one that shrinks them for good. Of course, shrunken doesn't necessarily mean not dangerous…

If the hypno ray doesn't work, or if it wears off and they come back, I would use a time machine to send them to the time of the Big Bang – but I would send them to a Big Bang in another dimension so that there is no grandfather paradox.

Well, I don't listen to a lot of Linkin Park… I would have to say "It Doesn't Even Matter". It's familiar, and sort of comforting…

Well, they don't let us do a lot of our own experiments at school. We do their experiments and get good grades and everything, but it's a lot more fun for us to make our own.

Well, CosmicKitten89 likes the CGI films, thinks they're funny, but she much prefers the way we are portrayed in the cartoon, and she wishes that I, and Jeanette especially, were more developed in the movies.

Well, I enjoy Animaniacs too, and still do, actually, but my favorite has to be its spinoff Pinky and the Brain. These shows are so intelligent for cartoons, full of innuendo for the adults and other stuff that young children don't understand, but still entertaining and appropriate for them. I wish they made more cartoons like that nowadays, but the only ones that come close are Phineas and Ferb and Penguins of Madagascar, which are some of CosmicKitten89's favorites.

Jeanette: I think she secretly likes Kowalski almost as much as she likes you.

Simon: ALMOST? Nah, it's my show that she's parodying and writing fanfics on, not his.

Jeanette: Well, I prefer Mario to Sonic the Hedgehog, but I like Sonic too. My favorite characters are Tails, because he's smart like us and reminds me a bit of Simon, Cream because she's so cute and sweet, and Blaze because she's purple and pretty, although kind of bratty like Brittany. In the Mario games I like Peach, Daisy, and the Koopalings, which CosmicKitten89 also writes a lot of fanfiction for.

As for E equals M C squared, well, you see, all mass is made up of energy. But there are certain processes, such as nuclear reactions and positron-electron annihilation, in which mass is not conserved. Mass is lost or gained in these interactions, and if mass is lost, just enter mass into the equation, multiply by c squared, which is the speed of light, and you get how much energy in non-mass forms, such as photons or kinetic energy, is produced. Conversely, if an object becomes more massive, such as when it is accelerated to relativistic speeds, the mass gain is equal to a certain amount of energy divided by the speed of light squared… it gets rather complex and hard to explain… let me know if you understand.

And Brittany once made me wear contacts, but I didn't like them, they gave me conjunctivitis.

Eleanor: Well, I am looking forward to seeing Chip-Wrecked, that's for sure!

I try to ignore people who call me fat, and demonstrate my athletic talents to put an end to their prejudices about the physical abilities of plus-sized people.

And I agree that they made me look cute in the Squeakquel. It was especially adorable the way they made me wiggle my nose when I saw Theodore. Although they got my eye color wrong, but probably on purpose, since green eyes go better with my wardrobe.

Theodore: Well, if we made a cooking show, it would be called Theo and Ellie's Cooking Show!

And I like Rodney Dangerfield in the movie Rover Dangerfield, in which he plays an adorable chubby doggie, but my favorite comedian is Bob Saget, because he plays Danny Tanner, the nice daddy on Full House.

Eleanor: But his comedy routines are really dirty!

Theodore: I know! (giggles)

My favorite junk food right now is CHEESE BALLS!

Brittany: I agree that my CGI self looks hot! And it's also kind of funny that they show me naked, since they usually don't show females, even animal characters, top-naked in kids' movies.

I like ponytails, especially if I perm my hair to make it all curly, and do it up in a really fancy way.

My favorite female singer right now, as I mentioned on mine and Alvin's show, is Britney Spears, although Madonna is a close second.

And if I saw Alvin kissing Charlene, my first reaction would be shock, then anger, then physical violence on both of them, then disgust that he would kiss HER.

Alvin: I am not a jerk! I DO have a heart! I am always doing nice things for others! Tell them, Simon!

Simon: Yes, you do a lot of generous things, but mainly for your own selfish reasons – because you like to be the hero.

Alvin: Aaugh! Brittany?

Brittany: Yep, it's true.

Alvin: OK, maybe MOST of the time I have some selfish motive behind it, but hey, can I really help that I'm a glory hound?

Alvin: And, well, I don't let them wear their first letters on their shirts, because I want to make it clear that I'M the star of the band.

Simon: It's not really our style anyway.

Jeanette: Agreed. You look sexier without the giant "S" on your chest.

Simon: Although you can find some old Simon and Theodore plushes on eBay that do have the letters on their shirts.

Alvin: Anyway, my fave AC DC song is "You Shook Me All Night Long". Sometimes Brittany shakes me all night long. (winks)

(Brittany giggles)

Simon: Enough, this is not your Midnight House Party! Or Party House or… whatever it is… porn show…

Here's one from Katy Seville:

**Hi my Names Katy but you can call me Kate (Batters Eyelashes ) anyway while our Sponsor was Shopping at Richerds during is weekend Stay he Met Emilee while Checking out and well lets just put it in a nutshell Simon our Sponsor was going Haywire but when he met her a second time he was able to Strick up a Conversation with her and yea it did work but Should he Ask her out or maybe he's Just to Scared that he might get rejected Thing is he doesnt know Emilee has a Boyfriend or not and Frankly he just wantsto remain Friends with her But she's Working at Richerds where he goes to shop and well uh I dont know what to do in a Situation like this our Sponsor could use a little Help but she does have a Sweet Voice which makes him Jump when hes Paying for his Stuff . **

**Anyway Jeanette What's it like Being in a Relationship with Simon ? **

**Theodore Same Question .**

**Anyway our Sponsor is doing a Story about me called the Katy Chronicles Check it out some time **

**Theodore Same**

Simon: Well, I wouldn't really know what to do there… maybe give her a compliment?

Alvin: You should tell her, I think your skin is like peaches and cream, your hair is like honey-

Simon: ALVIN! None of your cheesy pickup lines!

Jeanette: Well, it's a dream come true, being in a relationship with Simon! It's so intense being around him, with his massive intellect, dreamy voice and good looks… sometimes it makes me faint… although I am kind of getting used to it… but every now and then something about him takes me by surprise and leaves me breathless… I can't wait until we're married…

(Simon blushes)

Theodore: Well, Eleanor is so sweet and nice, and I always want to visit her and do stuff with her and make yummy desserts together!

Simon: Well, I will try to check it out sometime, if I am ever in the mood to kill time on Fanfiction, which I believe I am doing too often already.

Here's one from Charlene Seville:

**So Simon Hows it Hanging ,**

**Anyway Alots Happened to us Like we are working for Jett Records but we dont know who runs the place and well anyway we can not wait for Chipwrecked to come out because at chipmunk Studios we are working on an all new Song Selection and well thats Mostly it But anyway Does Alvin always Act out just to get Attention or is it just his over the Mountain Sized Ego ? **

**Theodore Whats it Like working Eleanor in Cooking ? **

**Jeanette if you and Alvin did work together in my Fair Chipette Would he listen to you and really go along with your Ideas ?**

**Eleanor Whats your Favorite Sport ? **

**Jeanette Whats your Favorite Movie in the 1980's Mines Transformers the Movie and I love Stan Bush DOing the Soundtrack **

**Simon if you could Change one thing about Alvin what would it Be ?**

**Theodore Why does Alvin Con you into his Schemes ?**

**Eleanor Whats the one thing that you Enjoy doing With Theodore ?**

**Jeanette if you had to pick Science of Math Would you ? **

**Simon you have done alot of Expereiments but Some Failed whatsyour Favorite one ? **

**Jeanette Whats your Favorite Song by Stan Bush? Mines the Touch **

**i love it althou we do have three other Bands in our Dimention Like The Munkators the Munks and Brian and the chipmunks they are Loyale to Ian as for the Munks and the Munkators well there Good but they work for Different record Companies like the Munkators work for Liberty records and the Munks work for speed records . **

**Eleanor whats the Number one Thing you Hate About Alvin ? **

**Theodore in the Valentine Special what was up with Alvin Dressing up as Captain chipmunk and Asking out Brittany to the Ball when he couldnt do it himself talk about a Split Personality . **

**Simon did you ever Build a Dimentional Teleporter and Peer into our own Dimention because we are still on top of the world but Different in our own Dimention Alvin isnt Dating Brittany Adam is and Alvin is Dating Jill instead but we do a number of Songs from Different Bands Like Stan Bush, ACDC, Alice cooper, Guns n roses KISS ,HueyLewis and the news , you guys And the Chipettes, the Song we do the Most is The Boys and Girls of Rock n Roll As Much as i want to be a Brag about it we also do some songs from Linkin Park ,Bon Jovi, Survivor , Twisted sister The Doors, Wild Cherry Vanhalen and a few songs from the Backto the future soundtrack Joan Jett, and the Black Hearts, Cindy Laoper Katy Perry, AeroSmith Queen ,Avril Lavigne,Fallout Boy And we also do Songs by, Kansas along with ,Evanscene and ,NickleBack along with Journey ,Black Sabbath, and of course MJ**

Theodore: Well, Eleanor and I have a lot of fun together cooking!

Jeanette: I'm afraid that Alvin didn't listen to my ideas. I wanted to play Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata on piano during the beauty pageant but he wanted me to do something "glamorous", such as baton twirling, and then helping me cheat at that when I could have easily played piano without cheating.

Eleanor: Soccer is definitely my number one sport.

Jeanette: Well, Back to the Future is one of my favorite 1980s movies, although I also like the Little Mermaid, which is part of the reason we did Sploosh.

If anyone out there has Sploosh, even in German or some other language, CosmicKitten89 wants to make a parody of it on YouTube called The Little Mermunk.

Simon: If I could change Alvin, I would make him less rash and more disciplined. It would help to keep him out of a lot of trouble. However, it is unethical to do that kind of experiment on him – I was already pushing it by using the Thinking Cap to temporarily raise his IQ.

Theodore: Alvin usually bribes me into doing his dirty work with yummy food – I am a sucker for yummy food!

Eleanor: We enjoy cooking together, and also spending private moments, usually involving food among other things, together. (winks)

Jeanette: You mean science or math as opposed to literature and humanities? Sure, I guess. I would probably go into either chemistry or psychology – or maybe neurochemistry. But then, I do like math too, so I might go into computer science or computational physics… tough decision…

Simon: Well, my favorite failed experiment was my first time machine, which showed us the future, but it wasn't quite finished yet, and it broke down… and I don't think that it worked properly anyway, because it didn't take into account that Alvin couldn't get the 500 dollars because he was under 18… CosmicKitten89 just made a parody of that episode on YouTube by the way. Only took her 3 days.

Jeanette: I have never heard of Stan Bush. Am I living under a rock or something?

Eleanor: Well, I hate that Alvin can be sexist at times – like he was in the episode "Soccer to Me".

Theodore: Well, Simon hypnotized him into doing that.

Simon: I actually did sort of create a dissociative identity in him, the "Captain Chipmunk", by tapping into his subconscious. An interesting experiment that has helped me to build a very effective hypno-ray, although I'd rather not use it except to prevent wars and such.

And I did build a Transdimensional Teleporter, but I only used it to explore Jimmy Neutron's world. You have to create one too and link it up to mine if you want me to visit your world.

Oh, dear, would you look at the time!

Jeanette: We have answered an awful lot of questions today!

Simon: I am rather tired… How about I continue the show and get to the rest of the questions tomorrow?

Alvin: OK, but I'm not going to be here tomorrow! I've gotta work on my August showing!

Simon: Alvin, what is there to do?

Alvin: Oh, just making the set even more awesome and stuff

(snickers)


	16. Back To School

Simon: Thank you all for tuning in to this month's edition of Ask Simon. Now, school's back in session for many of you, as it is for myself, and my sponsor as well, and mind you, I had to ride a plane here to the studio all the way from my university. My sponsor's been busy, getting involved in honors classes and trying to start a math and science club – exactly the kinds of things I would do if I had to go to community college – but she fully intends on keeping up with her commitments.

Jeanette: Um, Simon?

Simon: Yes, my sweet little supernova?

Jeanette: It's September already.

Simon: (expression of wide-eyed shock)

I-I…

Jeanette: CosmicKitten89's been receiving messages from fans that have been wanting us to update.

Simon: Well… (sighs) It appears that airing this show monthly is, for our sponsor, biting off more than she can chew. It seems that we can no longer air Ask Simon monthly, or even regularly, at least until summer comes again – although that's not to say that I won't do a special surprise episode every once in a while, so keep those questions coming, but please stick to one question from each of you until I can regularly air again.

Alvin: He's talking about you, _Kaylie._

Simon: Now now, Alvin, we shall not be pointing any fingers. Also, since it's the school year, I would appreciate if some of you would get in-depth with your studies and send me some school-related questions. If you wish to get really in-depth, more so than I have time to do in the show, or if you need help with anything, then my sponsor will also be willing to help if you want to PM her.

Now, last time I failed to answer all of the questions, didn't I?

Alvin: Oh, and by the way, I am NOT canceling MY show anytime soon!

Simon: I am NOT cancelling my show, Alvin, I am merely putting it on hiatus.

Alvin: Well I am NOT going on hiatus, so keep those dirty requests coming!

Simon: Ahem, younger viewers, Alvin. And it seems that you forgot to update last month too.

Alvin: …

Brittany: Blame it on CosmicKitten89 for not sponsoring us!

Alvin: Yeah! She's got to get all busy with nerdy stuff… you and her are two of a kind!

Simon: And what's wrong with that? Anyway, it's time that I answer some of these questions, some of which have been waiting for two months:

**Kaylie98 asks:**

**Hey Simon, i need advice: I wrote an extremely stupid HP story, and when i say stupid, i mean STUPID! It's such a random stupid story with no real plot! Seriously! It's called 'Totally Random Stupid Story with no real plot'. Should i post it? I don't want to ruin the reputation i have so far! WHAT SHOULD I DO?**

Simon: (laughs) Well, if it's stupid in a satirical way, then there is no reason to fear ruining your reputation.

Here's a question from – well, doesn't say, actually:

**What do you think of the God of War video game series? **

**Personally, I think that the story definately has the feel of a classic Greek Myth. I'd also love to see the same team develop games based on ACTUAL Greek epics - The Odyssey, for instance.**

Simon: Honestly, I've never heard of that game. I know, I've been living under a rock with my studies and all, but I believe that video games based on Greek epics would be a great way to teach ancient Greek culture and history.

Here's one from Megan Seville:

**Hey whats going on Simon Its good to know that your show is going pretty Strong and if you ask me you should check out a new show thats also on the rise Katy and Jeanette's Typical world another question and answer show but anyway Got Questions for you that is if your Unfrozen ... yet and Questions for Jeanette . **

**ok First one to Jeanette . I have been reading alot of Alvin and Jeanette Stories like What now and While there away and Frankly I dont know if they are true or not but you can call me Megan or meg for short . **

**And a Question for Simon as well **

**What is the Number one thing that you Love about Jeanette and i dont think its her Glasses maybe its her Smarts or its her Clumsyness heck even i know it makes her look cute **

**Anyway Moving on Do you guys have a new Album coming out this year ? **

**I have one more Question for the Both of you Simon when are you going to Marry Jeanette one day? and dont tell me for the right time cause sooner or later someone else is going to sweep her off her feet and boom there goes your chance not to be mean or anything like that**

Jeanette: Well, none of those Alvin and Jeanette stories are true. I don't like Alvin that way, no offense, Alvin.

Alvin: So you've got a taste for nerds. Why would I be offended?

Simon: Well, it probably is her smarts – or maybe her sweet kindness. I mean, even if she lost her smarts from a brain injury or dementia, I would love her anyway.

Jeanette: But suppose I went psycho and lost my kindness?

Simon: I… I would still love you. I love you for you.

Jeanette: Awww…

Simon: And I'm marrying her after I finish my first Ph. D.

Jeanette: I would NEVER fall for anyone other than Simon! There is nobody – NOBODY – in the world that's as intelligent or charming or who makes me melt like him…

Simon: (blushes) OK, here's one from CosmicKitten89's good friend RudySpino, looks like he forgot to log in:

**What the heck was inside that Q...? o.O :P**

Simon: I… I don't know, actually. I already discussed this on the first show.

Alvin: Watch the Parody Show episode Dunce Cap Trap on YouTube and see how he reacts to the Q. Priceless!

Simon: Here's The Chipette Protector:

**I'm sorry to hear about CosmicKitten's father, I hope he gets better.**

**So Simon, how did u get free? Because u can't melt... We know.**

**And how did it feel to be a vampire?**

**Jeanette, what did it feel like to have Joelle in ur mind controlling u? What did u feel when u were frozen? How did u feel when u unfroze and Simon froze when he kissed u?**

**Alvin, do u remember being under the hypnotic control of being in love w/ Charlene?**

**Britt, what did it feel like when u were being turned into a statue?**

**Also, did u guys change Theo and Ellie back and how?**

**Glad to see ur all back!**

Simon: W-well, Jeanette told me about how she created a heat-absorbing crystal, soaked it in the sun for a carefully measured amount of time, and then threw it at me to revive me.

And being a vampire made me feel… powerful. And even sharper-minded than usual. And also empty inside, but I didn't mind it. Though looking back, the thought horrifies me now…

Jeanette: Well, being mind-controlled felt kind of like having a seizure – I'm not epileptic or anything, but I tried this one medicine one time to treat my ADD and I had an allergic reaction that resulted in a seizure. Basically, your body's not doing what you want it to do and your mind is screaming in protest. But eventually your mind sort of disappears, like you're asleep, and it feels like you're doing those things in your dreams, because sometimes you do uncontrollable things in your dreams.

And being frozen felt like… nothing. Like being asleep, without any dreams.

Alvin: The love spell made me feel like my hormones were even more out of control than normal! Except instead of going crazy over just any sexy woman, I only went crazy over Charlene. My brain was so warped by them that I completely overlooked Brittany's existence!

Brittany: Well, being turned into a statue made me feel like I was becoming paralyzed, and then I felt like I was in a coma.

Theodore: And yes, we were changed back.

Eleanor: Simon did some kind of DNA surgery on us.

Simon: Here's one from ScorpiusMalfoyIsMine – Didn't you use to be FredWeasleyIsMINEEE?

**Heyyy! Since I might have not sent my review in,(my computer was messing up the week I supposed I did)I apoligize. My question?why do Alvin and Simon fight ? because in my eyes,Alvin is this rockstar with beautiful eyes,but Simon is a sweet warmhearted genuis. I have a feeling you might be jealous ogf each other sometimes,but I just wanted to say you both are very nice men..well err munks? And shoutout to Al:I think your totally hot and would date you anyday.(:**

**Love,**

**Kaylee(:**

Simon: Thank you.

Alvin: Ha, she thinks I'M the hot one! Of course.

Simon: Uh oh, it's The Darkmunks and Darkettes again:

**Melvin: MUHAHAHHAHAHAHA! You didn't even touch us! We set you up, But our master may want to work with you, because we may be after the same thing. Also, if you knew our powers, you would know that we are already immortal, and the reason why 'we' died was because we had corrupted a group of alternates and gave them very small bits of our power.**

**Seymour: Yes, our masters will want to speak with you. But our plans are more than just one pathetic universe, we want the entire Multiverse!**

**Melvin: Don't give away our plan Seymour!**

**Seymour: I didn't give any details.**

**Joelle: Melvin don't even start!**

**Melvin: Don't try me girl! I'll melt you!**

**Joelle: Ha! I'll freeze you before that!**

**Seymour: Please don't fight!**

**Charlene: Ya, we don't need to cause division amongst ourselves.**

**Whitney: Also, thanks. You helped us give Charlene the best of the Dark Elements: Darkness itself!**

**Charlene: Yep. Soon I will have that power, all thanks to you. I am a Darkette and always will be, and no one can change that!**

**Whitney: And we never leave her behind! Another reason why they were fakes. Anyway, We also will enjoy messing with you some more Simon. Enjoy, because we will be back!**

**Seymour: And we will have revenge! I will get my revenge on you Simon!**

**Joelle: You too Jeanette!**

Jeanette: I'm not scared of them.

Simon: Me neither.

Alvin: Man, you two nerds attract the weirdest weirdos to your show! Don't you ever get tired of all this role-play?

Simon: It's not role-play, but yes, I do get tired of attracting villains and stuff to my show. Oh well, if they come back I'll be ready for them…

Here's one from Joel Seville:

**So simon your not theonly one that is looking forward to seeing chipwrecked so are we and we are starring in th retelling of it but still though i wonder if its better than the Sqeakquel we just have to wonder**

Simon: I hope so, they didn't give my darling Jeanette nearly enough screen time or personality development!

Here's one from Sheryl Seville:

**i have good news our transdimensional transporter is linked to your world and is operational and no interference from anyone causing a disruption in the antimatter buffer or transporter buff or pattern buffer so transport when ever you can**

Here's one from Katy Seville:

**Hey Simon Katy here i just wanted to say what are your thoughts on JB Lady gaga solena Gomez and Katy Perry? and are you and Jeanette gonna have Kids sometime ? lets pray that they dont take after alvin or brittany but they take after you and jeanette**

Simon: Well, I think they are all very talented vocally, although Gaga is the only one who is trained in and demonstrates talent in terms of songwriting. I find Katy Perry's tunes to be catchy, and she sometimes surprises me with stuff like E.T., although I don't think she's a very good role model, considering that she sometimes sings about doing irresponsible stuff such as having sex and partying. Selena Gomez sings some very pretty songs, and so far she has proven to be a good role model – I hope she remains that way. Lady Gaga's songs are quite interesting, to say the least, and the music videos are even more interesting… but I have mixed feelings about her as a role model – on one hand, she's very level-headed in her interviews, despite her bizarre costumes and on-stage behavior, and she inspires people to be creative and different and to not be afraid to stand out. On the other hand, some of her songs – not all of them, but some – have rather adult messages in them, and are perhaps not the best thing for children to be listening to – plus there are concerns that she is haunted by demons and being controlled by the Illuminati. Justin Bieber is quite wholesome so far, but I'm sorry to say that his music simply doesn't interest me, the melodies in his songs are simplistic, even by pop's standards, and that's only for those few songs of his that are melodic – a lot of his songs have no melody to speak of and my ears find them to be quite dissonant to listen to. Also, a lot of the songs that he sings just don't suit his little boy voice – it sounds like he's trying to do rap, and that just doesn't suit him. I wish he would sing something catchier like what the boy bands of the late 90's and early 2000's used to sing.

Alvin: Justin Bieber SUCKS!

Simon: Alvin, please! He's got fans watching! Go bash JB on your own show!

Alvin: you're one to talk!

Simon: I am not bashing him, I am merely presenting my opinion and supporting it, and explaining why, I am not merely trolling him out of thin air like you!

As for Jeanette and I, we will consider having children perhaps when we are in our late 20s and or early 30s.

Jeanette: We might not even want children, depends on how involved with our life's work we will be.

**Megan Seville:**

**begining TransDemsional Transmission) **

**Hi simon i just wanted to say wow your world is awesome but the darkmunks wanting the Multiverse not a chance we can stop them with our transdemsional force field and we have just started up our transdemsional transporter and the linkup phase and so far it works and well lets just say that if this linkup works then we can Transport our Music equipment and even ourselves to your world hold on checking -walks away- ok good news its complete and we are sending a test subject through**

Simon: Oh, hello, chipmunkfanantic!

**(begining transdemintional Transmission)**

**Hey Simon I hope you can hear me through the Dimentions cause our Simon Jeanette and Jill are working on Linking up to our Transdemintional Transporter to your world as well so far we have a few failed attempts but i hop we can get it this time but anyway if this works then we might be able to visit your world but all we can do is just view it from the Transdimentional Viewer although it can focus not just on one world but on many univeres and even dimention's and not only that we are also working on transporting our music equipment to your world so far failed attempts but i think we can nail this and if not well its back to the drawing board for us but anyway if and i mean if this Transdimentional Transporter works in linking up I think we might be able to link up ours with some of the others that are scattered through out the other universes and Dimentional and yes even the shattered world but the good news is that our building of it was quite a pain but it was workth in the and thats what counts rigtht ? and so far the Darkmunks and darkettes havent even bothered you**

**guys and we are linking to other worlds universes and Dimentions as soon as we link up with you guys i think we may have a chance to see what your world is like and another thing as well we also have something to tell you goo luck cause our force field not only keeps them out it uses there own DNA against them and our Artifical black hole sends them 1 million miles away from there current destination thus they cant even touch you only ones with Non dark matter can pass through as if it didnt exsist but only does it exsist is when t**

**Jill seville Asstiant in the building of the transdimensional Transporter**

Simon: Well, that should be good protection from them. Excellent work.

Now here's one from The Knight of Renaissance Light:

Alvin: Another role-playing weirdo…

Simon: ALVIN! If you want to be rude, do it on your own show!

**This concerns your time machine. I remember when you said that the machine showed you guys the future. However, I had took the liberty of at least copying the time machine blueprints for study. Know that I didn't want to sell the idea, only re-examine it from a more professional POV. Construction of these plans, headed by our own Professor Paradox, showed us a shocking revelation: you did NOT invent a time machine, but instead invented a machine that could see cross-time, or to be more specific, alternate universes or universes with your world in a different timeline. Showing two different futures was entirely impossible when we first pondered the idea of it; this would definite break all known chronal laws of space-time, according to Paradox. But if you add the possibility that those futures came from differing alternate universes, then that would ensure how you saw those futures WITHOUT breaking the laws of space-time. I can't seem to explain this enough, but Paradox surely could. Anyway, the point being, you accidentally invented, if I may dub the actual identity of your machine, a "cross-time" machine. Just wanted to point that out.**

Simon: Well, that would describe the so-called "time machine" that was showcased in the episode Big Dreams. It was the prototype to another time machine that I had built in the episode "Bye George!", that could actually travel through time. CosmicKitten89 was only able to find the episode in German, titled "Der Zeitreisende", but she did make a parody show episode of it, titled "Heil George!" if you're interested in examining it.

Alvin: You didn't really invent anything, most of the episode took place in my dream!

Simon: You do see it before your dream sequence begins.

Alvin: But you only see it working during my dream sequence, I'll bet it doesn't work in real life!

Simon: If that's so, then how did George Washington wind up being credited with the invention of earmuffs, which on the original timeline weren't invented until the year 1873 by a Chester Greenwood?

Alvin: Prove it!

Simon: I can't. This timeline was altered, so all the books have been changed… I can show you an alternate timeline in which that's true if you like.

Alvin: No thank you.

Simon: Fine then. This one's from Eddie Seville:

**So simon i was thinking if you were Dating Brittany what would you say to her? and Jeanette what would say to Alvin if you were Dating him? and theodore how would you feel about Eleanor if she won a contest you know for some Bakesale? thought i would put that out there**

Simon: I don't know what I would say to Brittany, she's really not my type…

Jeanette: Ditto for Alvin and I.

Theodore: Well, I would be proud of her!

Simon: Here's one from MunkGuy213:

**Hey Si it's been a while anyways I watch the latest trailer for Chip-wrecked and I've noticed the Chipettes change their outfits again! For the third movie you guys still haven't puttin on any pants! Why would you do that in public dude? Even when the everyone and especially the Chipettes can see your junk!**

**Put on some pants, for the longest time!**

Simon: Well, Dave never made the movie chipmunks any pants… when you're a small furry animal, you can typically get away with pantlessness. It's socially acceptable for them. Why aren't you concerned about the Chipettes, they wear skirts so short you can see that they're not wearing underwear!

Here's one from Awesomo3000:

**Hi, Simon, Awesomo3000 here! Please answer my questions first, cos I have loads of 'em!**

**Simon:**

**How did you turn back from a statue?**

**What was it like being a statue?**

**What is your favourite candy?**

**What would you rate Alvin's show out of 10 and why?**

**Why is it that you guys are chipmunks, which are supposed to be really small, but you're human-sized? WTH's up with that?**

**Jeanette:**

**OK, I think I understand. Energy = Mass x Speed of light squared, right?**

**What is your greatest fear?**

**What is your opinion on your new outfit in the Chip-Wrecked trailer?**

**If you could swap personalities with one of your sisters, who would it be and why?**

**Who's your favourite character in the Toy Story films?**

**Theo:**

**Have you ever slimmed down before?**

**How long can you go without eating any junk food?**

**Which one of the Harry Potter films is your favourite?**

**How do you feel when your brothers fight in front of you?**

**Ellie:**

**Have you ever gone on a diet before?**

**Has Brittany ever pulled a prank on you?**

**What is your opinion on Justin Bieber?**

**Brittany (if she's there):**

**What is your opinion on your new look in Chip-Wrecked?**

**Have you and Alvin thought about having a Q&A show that isn't pornographic?**

**What is your opinion on Justin Bieber?**

**If you could imagine Charlene in Chip-Wrecked, what would she look like? Y'know, what would she be wearing?**

**Please answer my questions (first)! Thanks, Awesomo3000 out!**

Simon: Well I was frozen, and it felt like the way Jeanette described it. As for candy, I am a bit of a chocolate connoisseur. I enjoy European chocolates, dark, milk and white, although dark's probably the healthiest…

Theodore: Mmm, chocolate… I love Milka bars!

Simon: Me too. And Cadbury… Did I mention that CosmicKitten89 just got a care package of English candies from her friends in England?

Theodore: Awwh, I want a care package!

Simon: I'll send you one sometime.

Hmm, as for Alvin's show, I would give it a 3 out of 10. It is humorous, to be sure, but far too raunchy and dirty for my tastes.

And as for us, well, we are a mutated race of chipmunk that is not exactly human sized, but certainly larger than chipmunk-sized… I really don't know the origins of our race…

Jeanette: That's right, energy is mass multiplied by the square of the speed of light.

My greatest fear is… I should say losing Simon, but somehow I doubt that I will ever lose him… failure, I guess.

Simon: So your doubt yourself more than you doubt me?

Jeanette: I have reason to, you've always gotten straight A's, I have sometimes gotten B's!

(cries into Simon's arms)

Simon: It's all right, Jeanette, I only got an A minus for the first half of the semester of my first Calculus class.

Jeanette: I get A minuses all the time!

Simon: It's OK, I understand that sometimes you have trouble paying attention, your mind wanders off, and you forget to get your assignments done on time…

Jeanette: I KNOW! (sobs)

Simon: CosmicKitten89 has the same problem. She has never gotten straight A's in her life! You have gotten straight A's before, right?

Jeanette: Right…

Simon: That's better. (hugs Jeanette) There are more important things than getting straight A's. Like standing out with your own originality, for instance. What do you think will impress the Ivy League more, another student with straight A's on their report card and nothing else to speak of, which they reject thousands of every year, or a student who wrote an award-winning novel, or invented, say, a time machine, or something of that nature?

Alvin: You're one to talk, Mr. Straight A's!

Simon: I get straight A's because I'm on Adderall! But Jeanette personally doesn't wish to go on prescription drugs…

Jeanette: Well, if I could swap personalities with one of my sisters, it wouldn't be Brittany, because she's too, erm, well, it's not appropriate to say on this show… I would say Eleanor, because she's practical, not as timid as I am, and still warmhearted and selfless, and not so vain like Brittany. With my intelligence and her pragmatic ability, I might be able to get better grades!

I like my new outfit in Chip-Wrecked, but it looks too similar to Eleanor's new outfit, and I'm upset that Brittany stole my denim jacket look from the Squeakquel!

My favorite character from the Toy Story films is… Rex, maybe, he's funny and sweet and a bit of a worrywart in an adorable way.

Theodore: I have slimmed down a little bit before, but I have never even been as slim as Alvin is at his chunkiest. I can't go for longer than a day without eating junk food – I can't even go for longer than a few hours! I try to fill myself up with healthy food to make myself too full to eat junk, but even when I'm too full for more healthy food, I still have room for junk food.

My favorite Harry Potter film is the first one, because the characters are all cute and young, plus I love watching all that yummy Halloween food in the Great Hall! Hermione must be crazy to miss out on it to go cry in the bathroom!

And I don't like it when my brothers fight, sometimes they get violent and I'm afraid they'll hurt me on accident, or even hurt each other really bad!

Eleanor: Yes, I have gone on diets before, but none of them really work… I get thinner for a while but then I get hungry and gain the weight back…

And yes, Brittany has pulled PLENTY of pranks on me…

And I'm afraid I'll have to agree with Simon about Justin Bieber…

Brittany: Well I don't like how they made me look like nerdy Jeanette! Oh well, the denim does look better on me, and it does bring out my eyes…

And I actually like having a pornographic show! I don't want our show to be boring like Simon's!

Simon: Watch the episode "Ask Alvin", if you can find it, and you'll see how having a non-pornographic Q & A show has worked out for Alvin. CosmicKitten89 has only been able to find it in Spanish, however, and despite having been inducted into the Spanish National Honor Society, she is still not good at Spanish listening comprehension, which they don't stress very well in American schools – the only Spanish many of our Spanish students get to hear is from teachers who aren't native speakers, the occasional audio tape of native speakers, and their classmates, many of whom fail to pronounce the sounds right. "Llamo", for instance, is pronounced with an English "Y" sound, not an English "L" sound, but many native English speakers have difficulty remembering that in practice.

Brittany: Ahem, my questions, Mr. Tangent.

And I think JB is CUTE! And he is growing up, for all of you who still think he sounds like a little girl!

And I think Charlene in Chip-Wrecked would be wearing a sexy red bathing suit, like, the entire time, because that's the kind of hussie she is!

Simon: You don't know that!

Anyway, here's one from Jaqueline Springs:

**In each's opinion, which "Dave" (Ross Bagdasarian Sr., Ross Bagdasarian Jr. and Jason Lee) yells the infamous famous running gag "AAAAAAL-VIIIIIIN" first name ultimatum better from least to best? Why?**

**Throughout the 80s/90s cartoon series, the Dave voiced by Ross Bagdasarian goes through at least seven or eight face changes (first face was in A Chipmunk Christmas, the second face change is in the early episodes created by Ruby-Spears Enterprises and then in later episodes done by Ruby-Spears Enterprises he goes through a third face change, the fourth different face is in The Chipmunk Adventure, the fifth in the episodes done by DIC Entertainment, the sixth in Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein and the seventh in Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman). Which face is much more preferable? You can view such examples under http : / / www . jackedupmedia . com / search _ result . php ? tid = 2180 & title = Bagdasarian. Don't forget to remove the spaces.**

Simon: Well, we have all discussed this, and we all agree that Ross Bagdasarian Jr. does it the best, followed by Ross Bagdasarian Sr. and Jason Lee, respectively.

And I personally find the DiC Entertainment face to be the most preferable.

Oh, and here's another one from her:

**Simon, blue or black glasses?**

**Jeanette, pink, black or purple glasses?**

Simon: Tough choice, I prefer blue glasses, but black frames tend to be cheaper and easier to find, and I also like blackish-blue frames… what do you like best, Jeanette:

Jeanette: I don't know, they all look sexy on you. I personally prefer purple glasses just because it's my favorite color. Did you know that our sponsor painted her glasses frames purple with nail polish?

Simon: Jaqueline Springs has yet another question:

**Aah, keep forgetting something . . .**

**Eleanor, how come in some posters, your CGI self looks like a rabid chipmunk wearing clothes gone psycho?**

Eleanor: Hmm? I haven't noticed that. Don't ask me, ask the CGI animators.

Alvin: Maaan, look at all these reviews arguing over Sammy and stuff… your show is like a freak magnet, dude!

Simon: Says the munk whose fans ask him to do perverted things in the nude. Here's another one from the Knight of Renaissance Light:

**Oh, I almost forgot. This is for Simon and Jeanette. Have either of you seen the Broadway musical, "A Tale of Two Cities" by Jill Santoriello? I based one of my fanficks off of that; to be specific, the execution scene of it. If you would like to know the title, it's called "If I Never Knew You". Anyway, just wanted to know if you had seen it.**

Simon: No, I haven't seen it. I've read the book, though.

Jeanette: I've seen it!

Simon: Anyway, welcome to the show, Cuddly Hawk!

**Hi CosmicKitten89! It's CuddlyHawk, from YouTube! Anyway, you said I could post a question or song request here, so I'll do both!**

**Let's see...**

**Question:**

**Simon, If you had to choose between your brothers which you like better, and the one you don't pick will die, which one will you pick, and why? (BTW, you can't say that you like them both; you HAVE to pick ONE!)**

**Song Request (By the way, where can I hear it?):**

**Can you sing "Secrets" by One Republic? That's my fave song!**

**Thanks for your time!**

Simon: Well, I'm going to get flames from the Friends of Rachel for this… let's see, from a eugenicist point of view, Alvin would be the better choice just because he's smarter and fitter to survive than Theodore… but my heart is telling me that Theo is the better choice because he is kinder, which to me goes a lot farther than having 'fit' genetics…

Alvin and Theodore: PICK ME!

Simon: Relax, it's not like one of you is really going to die! OK, I pick… Theodore.

Alvin: Aw, man… THANKS A LOT!

Simon: Hey, I was put on the spot!

And I'm sorry, Cuddly Hawk, I don't do song requests, only Alvin does that. And I believe you can find "Secrets" on YouTube.

Here's one from (gasps) Jillian again…

**SIMON YOU HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION! I THOUGHT YOU WUVVED ME!**

Simon: No, I don't.

Here's one last one from the Knight of Renaissance Light:

**Wait, one last thing. What's your opinion about the RLSH (Real-Life Superhero) movement? For information, here's a site on all the RLSH's so far:**

**http : / / www . worldsuperheroregistry . com / world _ superhero _ registry _ gallery . htm**

Simon: Hmm, interesting… the world needs more people that are willing to stand up for what's right and save the world on their own. Especially since the law sometimes gets in the way of times of distress; police are only legally allowed to do so much, but sometimes the citizens need protection from the law. CosmicKitten89, for instance, could have used a superhero to take her away from the terrible home that she was legally placed in. Only problem was, the law would not help her father to support her. So I believe that the next new kind of superhero we need is one that can manipulate the law and pull strings and the like.

I'm not sure if it's a good idea to register these superheroes, though, because it can make them easier for the real-life supervillains to find out about. Yes, there are real-life supervillains too, basically the Illuminati and billionaires that cheat people out of their money to become rich, and many of the people running the government, but they do not register themselves.

Now on a final note, the Knight of Renaissance Light has also sent me some documents of important information that you fans might need to know about:

**(Beginning transmission)**

**A golden-armored figure, the Knight of Renaissance Light, was sitting in a dark room. It was a cubicle at best, lit only by one electric light which the Knight stood under. Also in this room was a large black sphere half. The Knight was looking directly at the point of view.**

**KNIGHT: I saw your latest update from July, and I will give you the information that you may need. However, I need to inform you guys of one major detail: this battle is between me and Lord Odotherex. None of you are to interfere. Many lives in the past were ruined, killed, or destroyed because both of us had to bring our never-ending conflict to them, and I don't want the same thing to happen to your lives. So don't get involved! Now then, if the event that it is Lord Odotherex who bring the fight, or any of his Homunculi, I prepared this briefing to brief you on the knowledge you need to defend yourselves, thanks to the information gathered and/or given to us by veterans of the Amestrian Civil War, including the Elric Brothers, Colonel Mustang, Generals Alex Louis and Olivier Armstrong, the Ishvalan "Scar", and Emperor Ling Yao.**

**He pressed on a remote which activated the black sphere in the room. From said sphere came a large beam of holographic light. And from this beam of light came the image of a very beautiful woman. This was the Homunculus known as Lust.**

**KNIGHT: First off, you should know that the Homunculi are a group of immortals created by alchemic proportions, and see themselves as higher being than mortals. Their common traits are immortality, the ability to regenerate themselves, and that each of them has a Philosopher's Stone for a heart. So basically, destroy the Stone and you destroy the Homunculus. They were thought to be long-gone since the Amestrian Civil War, but now it seems they're back and bent on vengeance. And as Odotherex stated on the tape, there were originally seven Homunculi. The woman you see is probably the most enticing of them all: the Ultimate Spear, Lust the Lascivious. **

**KNIGHT: Her main weapons are her extendable blade fingers and her libidinous beauty. But she is not the Lascivious in behavior; she views herself as an object of lust for gullible humans. She has a great disdain for mortals, thinking them frail, predictable and generally stupid. She is considered highly intelligent, and appears to take pleasure in using mortals and throwing them away like broken toys. She also plays the role of manipulator to lure weak-minded mortals into Odotherex's clutches to be used and disposed of when no longer needed. So if you see Alvin, tell him to avoid interacting with THIS woman. Now then…**

**He pressed the remote again, the image on the projector changing to an obese man, Gluttony the Voracious.**

**KNIGHT: Gluttony is considered a paradoxical Homunculus. He acts as a target locator and evidence eraser. Though he doesn't hate humans or thinks of them as lower creatures, he is still a threat due to his…insatiable appetite for them. And apparently, he fancies women the best because they're (gulps) soft and tasty to him. His main weapons are those huge jaws of his, along with his tongue which produces acidic saliva. Also, he is also what we might call a failed Gate of Truth, a structure that is supposed to hold the Truth of alchemy. Meaning, if he activates this portal, he could send you to a dimension that is nowhere near Reality or Truth. This is what earned him the title the "Ultimate Gate". But because his mind is like a child, he'll always asks for permission to eat people, including the people he is about to eat. He is also apparently kindly and perhaps the ONLY Homunculus who feels any positive feeling for his brethren, whereas the other Homunculi don't give half a mind to each other. So he may be the easiest to overcome.**

**He pressed the remote again, the image on the projector changing to a tall, well-built and muscular man, Greed the Avaricious.**

**KNIGHT: Greed is one Homunculus that always sees everything with a price of its own, including who he works with. As his title suggests, he is an avaricious character who likes living in luxury, surrounded by powerful minions and beautiful women. And like Gluttony, he has no sociopathic feelings towards mortals; he cares only for his well-being and has a desire to own everything. His weapon is his skin; to be specific, the carbon atoms in his skin. He can voluntarily alter the carbon atoms in the outer layer of his body to create a shield of varying durability, from charcoal, the weakest form of carbon, to graphene, the strongest form of carbon. This is why many call Greed the "Ultimate Shield". However, from the first two times Greed worked with the Homunculi, once as his own Homunculus and the second time as a corporal Homunculus, he abandoned them. So I strongly hope that third time's the charm for Greed.**

**He pressed the remote again, the image on the projector changing to a gigantic humanoid above three meters tall, with long black hair, a massive, muscular frame and sharp teeth, with a red line that covers his right arm and the right side of his face, eye included, and he sports the Homunculus mark on his right shoulder-blade.**

**KNIGHT: This is Sloth the Indolent, the Ultimate Force. Though he is considered the most insidious of Homunculi, he is actually the footworker that created the giant transmutation circle that nearly turned the entire country of Amestris into a human-sized Philosopher's Stone. As his name suggests, he is extremely lazy despite his immense size and muscular build. He is also very slow in intelligence, but he does his work as long as he can rest afterwards. Now I know what you're thinking: "Sloth's lazy, huh? That means he's not a fighter, right?" Wrong! Despite his lazy behavior, if told to do so, he can squeeze all six of you like a grape. Not to mention, he is also considered the fastest Homunculus. Literally, for he can run at exceeding speeds. But he has a slow regeneration rate, so he has a slow healing procedure.**

**He pressed the remote again, the image on the projector changing to a tall man in a blue uniform, Wrath the Furious.**

**KNIGHT: Wrath is a perhaps a rare form of Homunculus, the first corporal Homunculus ever made. His powers are his superhuman strength, speed, and agility, as well as an expertise in both swordsmanship and martial-arts. His weapons are the five swords that he carries with him at all times. You may also notice that his left eye is unusual. Well, this eye is what earned him the name "Ultimate Eye". His left eye can see everything beyond its sight range. He is known as one of the calmer Homunculi, despite his wrathful nature. He also appears to be more lenient towards mortals than the other Homunculi (likely due to having lived among them for a long time). But he has some annoyance to mortals, sometimes referring to their constant meddling as bothersome and he believes that fealty is a sign of weakness, that the strong should survive, and that the loss of one life can only be balanced by the loss. So when fighting him, he will show no mercy to you when he kills you.**

**He pressed the remote again, the image on the projector changing to a slender man with pale skin, Envy the Jealous or "the Ultimate Form".**

**KNIGHT: Envy is perhaps one of the cruelest and most sadistic Homunculi in the group. He will joke around and take pleasure from mortal pains. He tends to play with the emotions of mortals before killing them. Envy usually does not regret any of his past actions and always looks forward to seeing others fight. He will even create pointless conflict solely for his own enjoyment. That is basically how the Ishvalan Extermination War began, when Envy disguised himself as an Amestrian officer and shot an Ishvalan child. He has the most open disdain of humans and relishes in any opportunity to hurt, humiliate, or insult them. But deep down, he secretly envies our inner strength and the mutually beneficial friendships that we share.**

**KNIGHT: His weapon is shapeshifting. The form you saw in the tape was not Envy's true form, but his human form. Because he shape-shifts, he can transform any part, some parts, or all parts of his body into anything he wants. Not to mention, he could shape-shift himself to look, sound, and even act like you guys. But there is a way around this: try to expose Envy by either pointing out a trait that the real person that he's trying to copy, doesn't have. But like I said, this is only one form he has.**

**The human form suddenly turned into a gigantic, green reptilian monster with eight limbs and human-like features like his teeth and his nose. He retained the long black hair and the red triangle on the forehead of his human form; he had two pairs of human arms in the front part of his body and two human legs crouched like that of a lizard on the back part, a spiked back, a long tail and an extensible tongue. His upper body is covered with bald, tormented faces (and some upper body parts).**

**KNIGHT: This is considered Envy's true form, a creature that we dub as the physical manifestation of "the Green-Eyed Monster". With this form, Envy can use his strength to its maximum and becomes even more dangerous, being able to crush rock under his limbs, tail or jaws. He is also able to manipulate the human remains that cover his body and make them appear and disappear, and to elongate his tongue to use it like a harpoon or a binding rope. But the last form that Envy is known for, is his weakest form.**

**The monster form of Envy suddenly shrunk and converted into a tiny version of this form, only without human features and having animal sharp teeth and big eyes.**

**KNIGHT: This is Envy's ORIGINAL form, in the event that Envy is deprived of his power. However, he has a trick for this form: he has the ability to fuse his limbs with organic matter and flesh, enabling him to take control of the body he infests. So whatever you don't, don't underestimate Envy, no matter what form he is in.**

**The image then changed into an innocent young boy surrounded by moving shadows.**

**KNIGHT: Pride is considered the most powerful of the seven Homunculi. As you can see, it's obvious why they call Pride the Arrogant the "Ultimate Shadow". His shadows are basically an amalgamation of the other Homunculi's powers. It has Lust's ability to pierce or cut through anything, Gluttony's ability to consume anything and make them a part of Pride's body, Greed's invulnerability to harm, Sloth's strength over physical objects, Wrath's expanded sight range, and Envy's shapeshifting and body-possessing powers. However, Pride may be powerful yet he has a weakness all on his own. He can only fight if there is a balance of light AND darkness in a confined area. If there's too much light or too much darkness, he can't use his shadows to fight for him. He considers himself the most powerful Homunculus, because pride was to be considered the most deadly sin to commit. **

**He pressed the remote to shut off the projector. He then turned to the camera's lens.**

**KNIGHT: So there. This is ALL the information we could muster…for now. But like I said, let the professionals handle this fight. Oh, and one last thing, I had the feeling that Odotherex would try to get towards your father, David Seville, or even your mother, Vinny. So I arranged for covert agents to both their locations, where they are to watch over your mother and father until we can better understand what forces we're dealing with. As for the Darkmunks and Darkettes, I've arranged for an intel agent to snoop around for details about them. From Colorado, he is a child of eight who also happens to be the sneakiest, most ruthless, and most foreboding mastermind I ever met. This makes him perfect for the job. He will be going undercover as one of their servants, gathering information about the enemy. His price was $10,000 in salary, and he also asks that if you doubt him in any way, he said (mimics his voice) "Tell those f****** chipmunks to respect his authoritah!". He's asked me to also not divulge his name, in the event those Darkmunks and Darkettes intercept this message and try to win him over. Okay, so that is all. And remember: leave this holy war to the professionals!**

Simon: Good, because I don't have time to engage in a holy war, and CosmicKitten89 does not have time to sponsor one.

**(Beginning transmission)**

**A golden-armored figure, the Knight of Renaissance Light, was sitting in a dark room. It was a cubicle at best, lit only by one electric light which the Knight stood under. Also in this room was a large black sphere half. The Knight was looking directly at the point of view.**

**KNIGHT: I'm afraid we received more information about who else is with the Homuculi. Apparently, Odotherex had the gall to create four more corporal Homunculi, naming them after four other sins of humanity.**

**He pressed on a remote which activated the black sphere in the room. From said sphere came a large beam of holographic light. And from this beam of light came the image of a man with dark hair, glasses, wearing a white priest's robe that parted a bit at the chest over it, where parts of the Homunculus symbol could be seen on his chest. Surrounding him were waves of flames.**

**KNIGHT: From what we have learned, Lord Odotherex has gained the alliance of Father, leader of the evil adult villains from the KND universe. Father thought that he could give him power, and he was given just that, by becoming a Homunculus himself. Odotherex dubbed him as Heresy the Sacrilegious, named for the sin that manipulates the beliefs of mortals to cause dissension and division among them. The reason for choosing this name, we believe that Odotherex chose him to act a mass publicist for the faithful, toying with the emotions and beliefs of his followers to create a cult of hive-minded soldiers for Odotherex to command. However, from his army, we can hypothesize that Odotherex also made him a High General. For what? Well, for these.**

**He pressed the remote again, the image on the projector changing to a horde of white and red, skeletally thin, hairless humanoids with one eye in their foreheads.**

**KNIGHT: These horrid beings are what we called Lesser Homunculi, or Mannequin Soldiers more commonly. These creatures are injected with Philosopher's Stones, which give them life. They lack intelligence and appear only to follow base instincts toward feeding and destruction. Their main attack will be to try to eat their victim, since they lack the thought processes to do anything else. They do not regenerate as the Greater Homunculi, like Envy, Lust, or Greed do, but are able to keep functioning even if their heads are grievously damaged, making them similar to zombies in a way. However, like the Homunculi, they can easily be dealt with by incinerating them, like you would with a regular Homunculus.**

**He pressed the remote again, the image on the projector returning to Heresy.**

**KNIGHT: As you may not know, Father's powers were mainly related to control over fire. After being fused with the Philosopher's Stone, Father's fire power increased to the point where he can produce blue fire at will, as well as lightning. Also, because he fused himself with a Philosopher's Stone, he can also perform powerful Alchemy that bypasses the Alchemical Law of Equivalent Exchange. However, unlike the Homunculi, he doesn't hate all mortals; he just hates kids. No question there. Though mature in the mind, his spirit is more childlike but with a dark twist. He is also very temperamental in emotions. Though violent mostly, he seems to have an equally shown side full of humor, ill temperament, impatience, and sarcasm; though I myself never expected to see these traits.**

**He pressed the remote again, the image on the projector changing to a large, human-sized grizzly bear standing on two legs. Unlike other bears, this one wore a wide-rimmed black hat, a red vest, a Native-American necklace of feathers, and blue jeans. On the back of his neck, imprinted on the fur, was the Homunculus symbol.**

**KNIGHT: You may not recognize him in this form, but you might refer this character as Injun Joe. However, the world where HE'S from, the locals called him "Injurin' Joe". Different names, same persona, you get the deal. Basically, from what we gathered, Odotherex used a Philosopher's Stone to perform a human transmutation, so he could bring Joe back to life. Somehow, Joe allied himself with Odotherex and agreed to become the Homunculus known as Violence the Murderous, named after the sin that joyfully destroys the lives of mortals, whether dealt to others, to themselves, or to God himself. He now serves as a second High General to the Mannequin Soldier. Therefore, when Injurin' Joe became a Homunculus, he gained a literal vampiric blood lust and apparently, an innate knowledge for all forms of weaponry, and the knowledge to perform powerful Alchemy.**

**KNIGHT: He is known as being reclusive, as well as vengeful against all who wronged him, from the murderers who slaughtered his people, all the way up to Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn for exposing him for the murder of Deputy Bean. He is cold-hearted, cruel, remorseless, ruthless, and very dangerous, but is also known for being greedy from his thefts of money, whether it's treasure or simple donations from the local church. Because of a similar hatred for Tom Sawyer, he found a kindred spirit in Treachery, for whom he acts as the "muscles", and is mostly seen with him. But we'll get to that later on.**

**He pressed the remote again, the image on the projector changing to a familiar blonde Chipette, only wearing black shadows around her eyes, as well as a black choker around her neck, a black one-shouldered tank-top exposing her midriff, one long glove that covers most of her right arm, and one black bracelet on her left arm. She also wore a pair of what appear to be leather pants with a silver belt and skull boots. She was seen playing a ghostly electric guitar with varying knobs, from a musical note, to a heart, to a skull, to a fist, to a spiral, to a wave.**

**KNIGHT: As I already know you think that Charlene is really a Darkette now. Well my sources say that there are TWO Charlenes in existence: the real one with the Dark Stone, and a super clone created by Odotherex, one that has been modified to the age of your 80's selves, and that will act as Fraud the Duplicitous. While sources are unaware of the real Charlene, we DID gather some info about her super clone. She, like Wrath, Heresy, Violence, and Treachery, she is also a corporal Homunculus. However, she is a rare form of a Chimeric Homunculus, or a Homunculus that is fused with another being. In this case, she is fused with the ghost singer Ember McClain. Not only is she against working for the Darks, she's also to get back at the Chipmunks and the Chipettes (mainly Alvin) for destroying her music career. To serve Odotherex, she serves mainly as second-in-command of the Homunculi and a mass publicist for the youth, resurrecting the Youth Revolution. Three guesses on how she's recruiting these kids.**

**KNIGHT: Along with her voice, she bears a physiological trait for emitting vast traces of pheromones to manipulate her underlings and enemies. Her powers range from a hypnotizing voice, to all of Ember's ghost powers (flight, invisibility, intangibility, ghost rays, etc), to simply performing powerful Alchemy. She seems to have somewhat of a child's personality with a thirst for attention and a disregard for adult authority, mortals and Homunculi alike. And like some Homunculi, she is more lenient towards mortals than the other Homunculi, likely due to having lived among them for a long time, and practically prefers to have a large adoring audience of mortals, than a small well-knit group of Homunculi. Also, it appears that unlike the real Charlene, Fraud is perhaps the only Homunculus to have feelings for another Homunculus: the Homunculus Treachery, for his self-independence, his aristocrat-like airs, and his self-reliance.**

**He pressed the remote again, the image on the projector changing to a bespectacled male feline, light khaki-furred but with black hair, and wearing the standard schoolboy outfit (light blue undershirt, navy blue suspender shorts, a bowtie, white socks, and brown school shoes). In his right palm was the Homunculus symbol.**

**KNIGHT: Finally, the Homunculus under Odotherex's wing, and maybe perhaps the most dangerous Homunculus to ever face: Treachery the Unfaithful, named for the sin that betrays the love and trust that nature makes, or as my new apprentice Tom would dare call his own half-brother "Sidney Hopkins". He's from the same world and Injurin' Joe, and shares the same hatred for Tom Sawyer as Joe does, but for a different reason. At first, it was jealousy for his brother, but Odotherex fed that jealousy and turned it into simple hatred and envy for Tom and all who support him. Now he serves alongside Odotherex as the second-in-command of the Homunculi and the head of Odotherex's spy network. He has the power to turn others' fears, dreams, and hopes into anger and greed, in order to force people to betray their allies and swear their loyalties to Odotherex, or if he wanted, to himself. His powers consist of psychic abilities (dowsing, Legillimency, psychometry, retrocognition, telekinesis, telepathy, transvection) and powerful Alchemy.**

**KNIGHT: Though lower in rank and status, he is more then well-armed in the art of treachery than Odotherex estimates him to be. He is jealous of two people for different reasons: the younger Simon for his closeness with the younger Jeanette, and Tom for his popularity status, even though Sid worked harder than Tom. The jealousy only increased when Tom and Huck became heroes and were beloved by the town of Hannibal. However, he is also more lenient towards mortals than the other Homunculi, likely due to having lived among them for a long time. He is also hypocritical, because he knows that his work is evil, even though he claims to be the "perfect child". Though he is spiteful in nature, he has a softer side that only Fraud seems to see. Because of a similar hatred for Tom Sawyer, he found a kindred spirit in Violence, for whom he acts as the "brains" of the duo, and is mostly seen with him. Also, he may be considered the only Homunculus to have feelings for a mortal, particularly Jeanette's younger self.**

**Finally, he pressed the remote once more, the image on the projector changing to a black-cloaked adolescent male with a darker skin tone, long light-silver hair, and red eyes. However, he had the Homunculus symbol on his forehead. This was Lord Odotherex.**

**KNIGHT: You may already know Odotherex as my evil counterpart in life. However, there is more to him than meets the eye. You may not have heard this, but he the leader of the Homunculi himself, is a corporal Homunculus. This explains why his body is human. It's true that he was banished, formless and forced to wander the world as a spirit. However, he was able to enter the dream of a man who wanted to become immortal. Odotherex tricked him into making a transmutation circle out of his entire country. Once the circle activated, after the souls turned into his Philosopher's Stone, he used his blood along with the blood of several civilians to create a human body that is identical to myself. This soon led him into the study of alchemy, learning how to transmute people's souls into Philosopher's Stones. Now you may think that his Stone can be destroyed; well, that's entirely not true. After becoming flesh and bone, he also used other methods to retain his immortality, from creating seven Horcruxes, to stealing gold from the Chest of Cortés, to drinking from the Fountain of Youth, to countless other methods of obtaining and preserving immortality.**

**KNIGHT: He is able to completely understand the pains of lesser evils, which are later used to recruit them, and formulate strategies and schemes ahead of time. Though powerless, he still has manipulation over the weak-minded, his misanthropy, his immortal-purity racialism, and his skills in playing differing sides to satisfy his needs. Like his father, he is highly cunning and intelligent, making him able to convince his followers to do his bidding by making Faustian bargains with them. Along with powerful alchemy, he has the ability to absorb any of the other Homunculi's abilities.**

**He pressed the remote to shut off the projector. He then turned to the camera's lens. **

**KNIGHT: Well, this may complete the update on the Homunculi to expect attacks from. Oh, and since the update, James Seville and myself have joined forces in order to take down the Darks. We have a plan, but we don't want to give away details of it, lest the Darks catch whiff of it. So good luck.**

Simon: So viewers, remember to look out for these foes –

Alvin: Oh please, you renny fair nerds are pathetic!

Simon: Says the guy who dresses up as Cyrano de Bergerac and pokes everybody with a fencing sword every year at the Renaissance fair! You seriously injured some people with that thing, remember?

Alvin: They were villains, they deserved it!

Simon: No, they were DRESSED as villains. These villains are the real deal. You need to be on the lookout for them, and if you come across a Homunculus, you had better be prepared with better than that wobbly stick of wire you use as a fencing sword.

So that's it for today, see you all… whenever… and if one of you has a school-related question, don't be afraid to ask, we'll get into a lengthy discussion and make it an educational episode!

Alvin: Lame.

Simon: All right, you have been asking for it – (sticks a sock in Alvin's mouth)

Alvin: Ooh drrk!

Simon: That's sock-speak for "you jerk!" And if I were a jerk I would have put a dirty sock in his mouth instead of a clean sock fresh from the package!

Now we are going to go home and discuss talk-show etiquette!


End file.
